While we're talking about food
Michelle Thedaker
I need some attitude help here (MY attitude, of course!). As I said in a
post a moment ago, my views on food consumption are pretty loose. Not 100%
free yet, this is what I'm working towards. I'm finding that it is a lot
easier to let go of my worries with my 6yo than it is with my 2yo. Almost
certainly this is because Drew is older and more mature, and is making
intelligent food choices on his own. He likes to eat, but it's not a huge
part of his life. So his choices don't usually go against my personal
opinions on what a 6yo should eat - makes it a lot easier to let go and
allow him to make the choices!
Then the Universe sent me Josh, who has a love affair with food - much like
mommy does. He loves it, it's a joy to him. He thinks about it a lot,
loves to cook, loves to shop, loves everything about it. This is a good
thing. But mommy still has some hangups that I can't seem to release. The
current situation is candy and sweets. I don't care that he eats them. I
get into trouble about 'when' and 'how much'. He wakes in the morning and
wants gummy worms. I just can't seem to say yes to this - I can't let go of
the need to feed him something healthy before he has them (he does get them
in the morning, just not as a first food). I know this goes against my
goals, so what is my problem? I'm worried about 1) overall health and 2)
his teeth (which are a major problem and expense - not a justification, just
a reason for my anxiety).
When I look at overall food consumption, i.e. weekly, he eats wonderfully.
Chicken, fish, rice, noodles, broccoli, carrots, apples, grapes, raisins,
etc. All healthy food for a growing kiddo. So why do I still knee-jerk
"no" when he asks for a chocolate donut and hasn't eaten his lunch yet? I
KNOW he's going to eat his lunch, or something else later, that is healthy.
The child certainly will not live on chocolate donuts. And anyway, the
donuts aren't going to last forever, there are only so many in the package.
And so I argue with myself during the day. What's my real problem here, and
how can I start to look at things differently?
Shell & Da Boys
Drew, 6.5 and Josh, 2.5
Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you stop pedaling.
http://thedaker.blogspot.com/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
post a moment ago, my views on food consumption are pretty loose. Not 100%
free yet, this is what I'm working towards. I'm finding that it is a lot
easier to let go of my worries with my 6yo than it is with my 2yo. Almost
certainly this is because Drew is older and more mature, and is making
intelligent food choices on his own. He likes to eat, but it's not a huge
part of his life. So his choices don't usually go against my personal
opinions on what a 6yo should eat - makes it a lot easier to let go and
allow him to make the choices!
Then the Universe sent me Josh, who has a love affair with food - much like
mommy does. He loves it, it's a joy to him. He thinks about it a lot,
loves to cook, loves to shop, loves everything about it. This is a good
thing. But mommy still has some hangups that I can't seem to release. The
current situation is candy and sweets. I don't care that he eats them. I
get into trouble about 'when' and 'how much'. He wakes in the morning and
wants gummy worms. I just can't seem to say yes to this - I can't let go of
the need to feed him something healthy before he has them (he does get them
in the morning, just not as a first food). I know this goes against my
goals, so what is my problem? I'm worried about 1) overall health and 2)
his teeth (which are a major problem and expense - not a justification, just
a reason for my anxiety).
When I look at overall food consumption, i.e. weekly, he eats wonderfully.
Chicken, fish, rice, noodles, broccoli, carrots, apples, grapes, raisins,
etc. All healthy food for a growing kiddo. So why do I still knee-jerk
"no" when he asks for a chocolate donut and hasn't eaten his lunch yet? I
KNOW he's going to eat his lunch, or something else later, that is healthy.
The child certainly will not live on chocolate donuts. And anyway, the
donuts aren't going to last forever, there are only so many in the package.
And so I argue with myself during the day. What's my real problem here, and
how can I start to look at things differently?
Shell & Da Boys
Drew, 6.5 and Josh, 2.5
Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you stop pedaling.
http://thedaker.blogspot.com/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Su Penn
On Apr 16, 2006, at 10:46 AM, Michelle Thedaker wrote:
doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, so his choices under a free
system never set off my alarm bells. Then along came Carl, now just
two, who loves sweets. It's been a challenge for me to step back,
breathe deeply, and let him have what he wants--I was saying to my
partner one day that if anything, I'd say it's more important not to
limit Carl than not to limit Eric, because with Eric, we could
restrict candy and he might not even notice, but with Carl--well, he
would notice, and restricting it would make him think about it more
and more, and next thing we know, he'd be binging. I have
successfully just let Carl have what he wants, and he does stop
before he lapses into a sugar coma <g>--he doesn't even eat as much
sugary stuff as I have sometimes been afraid he would. And, like with
your son, he has a great diet overall. He's just been that little bit
more challenging to me.
"real" food first, you have to earn dessert, all that kind of stuff.
I know my mom had a lot of rules about food that seem arbitrary to me
in retrospect, like no pop before 11 a.m. (and you can bet I was
watching that clock some mornings!). That stayed with me so much that
I was shocked when I fell in love with David, who used to have a Coke
with breakfast every morning.
bears or the donut. If the response really is a knee-jerk reflex,
planning an alternative response in advance might help.
It sounds like you're looking at things just fine, but are stuck on
this one thing. So I'd say you probably don't need to do more
thinking about it, but decide on an alternate action.
Su
> Then the Universe sent me Josh, who has a love affair with food -Something like this happened to me, too. I have an older kid who
> much like
> mommy does.
doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, so his choices under a free
system never set off my alarm bells. Then along came Carl, now just
two, who loves sweets. It's been a challenge for me to step back,
breathe deeply, and let him have what he wants--I was saying to my
partner one day that if anything, I'd say it's more important not to
limit Carl than not to limit Eric, because with Eric, we could
restrict candy and he might not even notice, but with Carl--well, he
would notice, and restricting it would make him think about it more
and more, and next thing we know, he'd be binging. I have
successfully just let Carl have what he wants, and he does stop
before he lapses into a sugar coma <g>--he doesn't even eat as much
sugary stuff as I have sometimes been afraid he would. And, like with
your son, he has a great diet overall. He's just been that little bit
more challenging to me.
> why do I still knee-jerkMaybe it's our own brain-training that does this--you have to eat
> "no" when he asks for a chocolate donut and hasn't eaten his lunch
> yet?
"real" food first, you have to earn dessert, all that kind of stuff.
I know my mom had a lot of rules about food that seem arbitrary to me
in retrospect, like no pop before 11 a.m. (and you can bet I was
watching that clock some mornings!). That stayed with me so much that
I was shocked when I fell in love with David, who used to have a Coke
with breakfast every morning.
> And so I argue with myself during the day. What's my real problemMaybe just take a breath, and say, "Sure!" when he asks for the gummi
> here, and
> how can I start to look at things differently?
bears or the donut. If the response really is a knee-jerk reflex,
planning an alternative response in advance might help.
It sounds like you're looking at things just fine, but are stuck on
this one thing. So I'd say you probably don't need to do more
thinking about it, but decide on an alternate action.
Su
Melanie Ilsley
--- In [email protected], Su Penn <supenn@...> wrote:
5 more kids to the mix, so now 9 kids. In his house you didn't have a piece of bread with out
asking. Not so at my moms house, and she would get irritated(still does) when i would ask
first. I ve gotten better, but when we go anywhere, i bring lunch/dinner and lots of snacks,
just in case. At home our oldest always was a free range type, she ate whatever when she
was hungry. No issue, then one of our twins has big food issues, she eats until she throws
up, not all the time, but if i don't pay close attention, once a day. She is 5 and is epileptic,
has developmental issues(so what), and still puts everything in her mouth. So food has
become an issue in our house. Now my kids have to ask, and some times i have to say no,
and I hate it. But i have learned to space her eating, or stall her a bit telling her to let her
food digest a bit, but it is still ME controlling her eating, any suggestions? BTW we are
vegetarians, and the kids usually choose healthy foods, so eating healthy foods isn't the
issue, but G's overeating. Melanie in Vt (with three angels)
>had food issues, my parents were divorced when i was very young, Dad remarried and added
> Hello All, I've been reading the posts, and we have a real food issue here. I have always
5 more kids to the mix, so now 9 kids. In his house you didn't have a piece of bread with out
asking. Not so at my moms house, and she would get irritated(still does) when i would ask
first. I ve gotten better, but when we go anywhere, i bring lunch/dinner and lots of snacks,
just in case. At home our oldest always was a free range type, she ate whatever when she
was hungry. No issue, then one of our twins has big food issues, she eats until she throws
up, not all the time, but if i don't pay close attention, once a day. She is 5 and is epileptic,
has developmental issues(so what), and still puts everything in her mouth. So food has
become an issue in our house. Now my kids have to ask, and some times i have to say no,
and I hate it. But i have learned to space her eating, or stall her a bit telling her to let her
food digest a bit, but it is still ME controlling her eating, any suggestions? BTW we are
vegetarians, and the kids usually choose healthy foods, so eating healthy foods isn't the
issue, but G's overeating. Melanie in Vt (with three angels)
>