Nighttime Help
Michelle Thedaker
We're slowly slipping into an unschooling mindset over here, but there are
dozens of things that aren't there yet. One area I'm having particular
trouble with is nighttime/bedtime. I'm hoping to get some insight and
thoughts about this from the experienced unschoolers here.
I have two boys, almost 7 and almost 3 who share a bedroom. I used to let
Drew (the older one) stay up and read or play quietly until he fell asleep.
Then when Josh was 18 months we started transitioning him into the shared
bedroom (out of our bed). At that point we didn't allow them to stay up,
because Josh couldn't do the "read or play quietly" bit. In hindsight I
probably should have moved Drew into my room to read until he fell asleep
and then moved him into his bed once he did.
In any case, now that Josh is almost 3, I realized that he could probably do
the "read or play quietly" bit. We started that about a week ago, and
initially it went really really well. The past few nights, however, have
been less than stellar. Drew is fine, it's Josh that is having trouble.
He's bothering Drew, throwing things at him, getting wild, etc. This is an
issue with him during the day as well (that age, ugh!). I can handle it in
the daytime fairly well, but once nighttime comes around, I'm flat out
exhausted. To continue going in there every 5 minutes to pull Josh off
Drew, or get him to settle down, is making me crazy. Last night I really
lost it and started yelling (another issue I have in general, I'm a
hot-tempered sort). I felt horrible afterwards, of course.
So.how do I do this?? I don't want to force people to go to sleep when they
aren't sleepy. But I need a break from the constant handling of Joshua's
spirited self, and at night I'm just so tired that my patience is almost
nonexistant. I'm sure this involves a shift in thinking for ME, but I'm
having a really hard time making it. Insight please. :-)
Shell & Da Boys
Drew, 6.5 and Josh, 2.5
Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you stop pedaling.
http://thedaker.blogspot.com/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
dozens of things that aren't there yet. One area I'm having particular
trouble with is nighttime/bedtime. I'm hoping to get some insight and
thoughts about this from the experienced unschoolers here.
I have two boys, almost 7 and almost 3 who share a bedroom. I used to let
Drew (the older one) stay up and read or play quietly until he fell asleep.
Then when Josh was 18 months we started transitioning him into the shared
bedroom (out of our bed). At that point we didn't allow them to stay up,
because Josh couldn't do the "read or play quietly" bit. In hindsight I
probably should have moved Drew into my room to read until he fell asleep
and then moved him into his bed once he did.
In any case, now that Josh is almost 3, I realized that he could probably do
the "read or play quietly" bit. We started that about a week ago, and
initially it went really really well. The past few nights, however, have
been less than stellar. Drew is fine, it's Josh that is having trouble.
He's bothering Drew, throwing things at him, getting wild, etc. This is an
issue with him during the day as well (that age, ugh!). I can handle it in
the daytime fairly well, but once nighttime comes around, I'm flat out
exhausted. To continue going in there every 5 minutes to pull Josh off
Drew, or get him to settle down, is making me crazy. Last night I really
lost it and started yelling (another issue I have in general, I'm a
hot-tempered sort). I felt horrible afterwards, of course.
So.how do I do this?? I don't want to force people to go to sleep when they
aren't sleepy. But I need a break from the constant handling of Joshua's
spirited self, and at night I'm just so tired that my patience is almost
nonexistant. I'm sure this involves a shift in thinking for ME, but I'm
having a really hard time making it. Insight please. :-)
Shell & Da Boys
Drew, 6.5 and Josh, 2.5
Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you stop pedaling.
http://thedaker.blogspot.com/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
KIM BACKALENICK
Michelle Thedaker <pamperedthed@...> wrote: We're slowly slipping into an unschooling mindset over here, but there are
dozens of things that aren't there yet. One area I'm having particular
trouble with is nighttime/bedtime. I'm hoping to get some insight and
thoughts about this from the experienced unschoolers here.
I have two boys, almost 7 and almost 3 who share a bedroom. I used to let
Drew (the older one) stay up and read or play quietly until he fell asleep.
Then when Josh was 18 months we started transitioning him into the shared
bedroom (out of our bed). At that point we didn't allow them to stay up,
because Josh couldn't do the "read or play quietly" bit. In hindsight I
probably should have moved Drew into my room to read until he fell asleep
and then moved him into his bed once he did.
In any case, now that Josh is almost 3, I realized that he could probably do
the "read or play quietly" bit. We started that about a week ago, and
initially it went really really well. The past few nights, however, have
been less than stellar. Drew is fine, it's Josh that is having trouble.
He's bothering Drew, throwing things at him, getting wild, etc. This is an
issue with him during the day as well (that age, ugh!). I can handle it in
the daytime fairly well, but once nighttime comes around, I'm flat out
exhausted. To continue going in there every 5 minutes to pull Josh off
Drew, or get him to settle down, is making me crazy. Last night I really
lost it and started yelling (another issue I have in general, I'm a
hot-tempered sort). I felt horrible afterwards, of course.
So.how do I do this?? I don't want to force people to go to sleep when they
aren't sleepy. But I need a break from the constant handling of Joshua's
spirited self, and at night I'm just so tired that my patience is almost
nonexistant. I'm sure this involves a shift in thinking for ME, but I'm
having a really hard time making it. Insight please. :-)
Michelle--I haven't introduced myself here yet and we're not unschooling as of yet. But just a thought, could you put Josh to sleep in his bed and let Drew sit quietly somewhere else until he's ready to go to sleep? We have a quiet/comfy area out in the hallway where people can do this. However,I am pretty strong about bedtimes around here,because I see that ds's(5.5 and 3) could stay up alot later and then it really affects their behavior the next day (sometimes for days afterward,weeks, and no I'm not kidding-- one late night can have a bad effect for a couple of months for my older son!) Good luck,Kim
Shell & Da Boys
Drew, 6.5 and Josh, 2.5
Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you stop pedaling.
http://thedaker.blogspot.com/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
dozens of things that aren't there yet. One area I'm having particular
trouble with is nighttime/bedtime. I'm hoping to get some insight and
thoughts about this from the experienced unschoolers here.
I have two boys, almost 7 and almost 3 who share a bedroom. I used to let
Drew (the older one) stay up and read or play quietly until he fell asleep.
Then when Josh was 18 months we started transitioning him into the shared
bedroom (out of our bed). At that point we didn't allow them to stay up,
because Josh couldn't do the "read or play quietly" bit. In hindsight I
probably should have moved Drew into my room to read until he fell asleep
and then moved him into his bed once he did.
In any case, now that Josh is almost 3, I realized that he could probably do
the "read or play quietly" bit. We started that about a week ago, and
initially it went really really well. The past few nights, however, have
been less than stellar. Drew is fine, it's Josh that is having trouble.
He's bothering Drew, throwing things at him, getting wild, etc. This is an
issue with him during the day as well (that age, ugh!). I can handle it in
the daytime fairly well, but once nighttime comes around, I'm flat out
exhausted. To continue going in there every 5 minutes to pull Josh off
Drew, or get him to settle down, is making me crazy. Last night I really
lost it and started yelling (another issue I have in general, I'm a
hot-tempered sort). I felt horrible afterwards, of course.
So.how do I do this?? I don't want to force people to go to sleep when they
aren't sleepy. But I need a break from the constant handling of Joshua's
spirited self, and at night I'm just so tired that my patience is almost
nonexistant. I'm sure this involves a shift in thinking for ME, but I'm
having a really hard time making it. Insight please. :-)
Michelle--I haven't introduced myself here yet and we're not unschooling as of yet. But just a thought, could you put Josh to sleep in his bed and let Drew sit quietly somewhere else until he's ready to go to sleep? We have a quiet/comfy area out in the hallway where people can do this. However,I am pretty strong about bedtimes around here,because I see that ds's(5.5 and 3) could stay up alot later and then it really affects their behavior the next day (sometimes for days afterward,weeks, and no I'm not kidding-- one late night can have a bad effect for a couple of months for my older son!) Good luck,Kim
Shell & Da Boys
Drew, 6.5 and Josh, 2.5
Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you stop pedaling.
http://thedaker.blogspot.com/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---------------------------------
YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
Visit your group "unschoolingbasics" on the web.
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
---------------------------------
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Two possible brainstormy ideas.
First, is there any way they could NOT share a bedroom? (I suspect the
answer is no, but just in case you really do have an extra room....) That's a big
developmental range, a seven year old and a toddler. If Drew doesn't have to
share that space, he will probably like his little brother a lot more.
If not, why do they have to be in the bedroom? Could Drew find another place
in the house to read or play quietly? And it sounds like Josh really wants
to be playing with someone during that time, and he teases Drew to try to
engage him. Right on developmentally, but irritating to Drew.
I'm not a big Bedtime advocate, but maybe for a little while for the sake of
your family a quiet bedtime routine for Josh is in order. You say you need
some downtime after a busy day with active Josh, and so does Drew. So maybe
Drew stays up reading or playing quietly in the living room, and you can give
Josh some mellowing time to get sleepy and settle in with stories, etc. Maybe
that would be a good task for another parent, if one is around? You could have
some quiet time with Drew and your partner some with Josh? If there isn't
another parent around, that routine and a (temporary, until Josh is really
ready for quiet time by himself) earlier bedtime for him might be especially
important. It's better for Josh to have a sane mommy, and that bedtime routine
could turn out to be some of your happiest memories, and his.
Kathryn
*******************
In a message dated 4/6/2006 4:30:34 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
We're slowly slipping into an unschooling mindset over here, but there are
dozens of things that aren't there yet. One area I'm having particular
trouble with is nighttime/bedtime. I'm hoping to get some insight and
thoughts about this from the experienced unschoolers here.
I have two boys, almost 7 and almost 3 who share a bedroom. I used to let
Drew (the older one) stay up and read or play quietly until he fell asleep.
Then when Josh was 18 months we started transitioning him into the shared
bedroom (out of our bed). At that point we didn't allow them to stay up,
because Josh couldn't do the "read or play quietly" bit. In hindsight I
probably should have moved Drew into my room to read until he fell asleep
and then moved him into his bed once he did.
In any case, now that Josh is almost 3, I realized that he could probably do
the "read or play quietly" bit. We started that about a week ago, and
initially it went really really well. The past few nights, however, have
been less than stellar. Drew is fine, it's Josh that is having trouble.
He's bothering Drew, throwing things at him, getting wild, etc. This is an
issue with him during the day as well (that age, ugh!). I can handle it in
the daytime fairly well, but once nighttime comes around, I'm flat out
exhausted. To continue going in there every 5 minutes to pull Josh off
Drew, or get him to settle down, is making me crazy. Last night I really
lost it and started yelling (another issue I have in general, I'm a
hot-tempered sort). I felt horrible afterwards, of course.
So.how do I do this?? I don't want to force people to go to sleep when they
aren't sleepy. But I need a break from the constant handling of Joshua's
spirited self, and at night I'm just so tired that my patience is almost
nonexistant. I'm sure this involves a shift in thinking for ME, but I'm
having a really hard time making it. Insight please. :-)
Shell & Da Boys
Come to the Northeast Unschooling Conference, Memorial Day Weekend, May
26-28, 2006 in Peabody, Massachusetts! www.NortheastUnschoolingConference.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
First, is there any way they could NOT share a bedroom? (I suspect the
answer is no, but just in case you really do have an extra room....) That's a big
developmental range, a seven year old and a toddler. If Drew doesn't have to
share that space, he will probably like his little brother a lot more.
If not, why do they have to be in the bedroom? Could Drew find another place
in the house to read or play quietly? And it sounds like Josh really wants
to be playing with someone during that time, and he teases Drew to try to
engage him. Right on developmentally, but irritating to Drew.
I'm not a big Bedtime advocate, but maybe for a little while for the sake of
your family a quiet bedtime routine for Josh is in order. You say you need
some downtime after a busy day with active Josh, and so does Drew. So maybe
Drew stays up reading or playing quietly in the living room, and you can give
Josh some mellowing time to get sleepy and settle in with stories, etc. Maybe
that would be a good task for another parent, if one is around? You could have
some quiet time with Drew and your partner some with Josh? If there isn't
another parent around, that routine and a (temporary, until Josh is really
ready for quiet time by himself) earlier bedtime for him might be especially
important. It's better for Josh to have a sane mommy, and that bedtime routine
could turn out to be some of your happiest memories, and his.
Kathryn
*******************
In a message dated 4/6/2006 4:30:34 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
We're slowly slipping into an unschooling mindset over here, but there are
dozens of things that aren't there yet. One area I'm having particular
trouble with is nighttime/bedtime. I'm hoping to get some insight and
thoughts about this from the experienced unschoolers here.
I have two boys, almost 7 and almost 3 who share a bedroom. I used to let
Drew (the older one) stay up and read or play quietly until he fell asleep.
Then when Josh was 18 months we started transitioning him into the shared
bedroom (out of our bed). At that point we didn't allow them to stay up,
because Josh couldn't do the "read or play quietly" bit. In hindsight I
probably should have moved Drew into my room to read until he fell asleep
and then moved him into his bed once he did.
In any case, now that Josh is almost 3, I realized that he could probably do
the "read or play quietly" bit. We started that about a week ago, and
initially it went really really well. The past few nights, however, have
been less than stellar. Drew is fine, it's Josh that is having trouble.
He's bothering Drew, throwing things at him, getting wild, etc. This is an
issue with him during the day as well (that age, ugh!). I can handle it in
the daytime fairly well, but once nighttime comes around, I'm flat out
exhausted. To continue going in there every 5 minutes to pull Josh off
Drew, or get him to settle down, is making me crazy. Last night I really
lost it and started yelling (another issue I have in general, I'm a
hot-tempered sort). I felt horrible afterwards, of course.
So.how do I do this?? I don't want to force people to go to sleep when they
aren't sleepy. But I need a break from the constant handling of Joshua's
spirited self, and at night I'm just so tired that my patience is almost
nonexistant. I'm sure this involves a shift in thinking for ME, but I'm
having a really hard time making it. Insight please. :-)
Shell & Da Boys
Come to the Northeast Unschooling Conference, Memorial Day Weekend, May
26-28, 2006 in Peabody, Massachusetts! www.NortheastUnschoolingConference.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]