Maisha Khalfani

Hello (and sorry for the cross posts) - I'm still lurking but I'm talking with my husband about the idea of radical unschooling and he has some issues with it. He wants to know what some of your adult children do for a living. He's a big skeptic about the whole radical unschooling thing and wants to know if your children have gone on to make a living in the "real world". Thanks.

Maisha
"Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and dance with the Earth in all her glorious colors." ~ Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/25/2006 12:19:18 A.M. Central Standard Time,
earthspirit393@... writes:

Hello (and sorry for the cross posts) - I'm still lurking but I'm talking
with my husband about the idea of radical unschooling and he has some issues
with it. He wants to know what some of your adult children do for a living.
He's a big skeptic about the whole radical unschooling thing and wants to
know if your children have gone on to make a living in the "real world". Thanks


get the book teh unprocessed child it is about a girl who was unschooled who
eneded up going to harvard i think it was and is at the top of her class.

~Alyssa
Slightly crunchy, unschooling Mom to Landen(2) and Gage(6 months)

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like you do when nobody's watching."


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Marge

I haven't heard of this book so I plan to track it down to read.
But something I have run up against is the idea that this is the
EXCEPTION--only one unschooler. Also it seems to buy into the idea
that Harvard = success, which isn't necessarily true. So I'm always
looking for what "adult" unschoolers are doing in "real life" to
offer up to those who question me about it.

--- In [email protected], SquishyMommy1@... wrote:
>
>
>
> In a message dated 3/25/2006 12:19:18 A.M. Central Standard Time,
> earthspirit393@... writes:
>
> Hello (and sorry for the cross posts) - I'm still lurking but I'm
talking
> with my husband about the idea of radical unschooling and he has
some issues
> with it. He wants to know what some of your adult children do
for a living.
> He's a big skeptic about the whole radical unschooling thing and
wants to
> know if your children have gone on to make a living in the "real
world". Thanks
>
>
> get the book teh unprocessed child it is about a girl who was
unschooled who
> eneded up going to harvard i think it was and is at the top of
her class.
>
> ~Alyssa
> Slightly crunchy, unschooling Mom to Landen(2) and Gage(6 months)
>
> "Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been
hurt, and
> dance like you do when nobody's watching."
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Ren Allen

Valerie Fitzenreiter wrote "The Unprocessed Child". Her daughter,
Laurie Chancey is not at Harvard, but chose college after 18 years of
full-on radical unschooling and won all sorts of awards. After
obtaining her bachelors, she chose to take a break from school but
went back and is now pursuing her masters degree.
Laurie is a strong, vibrant young woman that I have NO doubt will be
successful in whatever she chooses.

Her website is here: http://www.chancey.info/

Peter Kowalke is another grown unschooler, pursuing his dreams. He's
married to an unschooler, Mae. http://www.peterkowalke.com/

I have heard that his documentary was not a fabulous movie by RU
standards, but if you hand in there, Cameron Lovejoy's movie should be
out before too long!! I hope.
The Lovejoys will be visiting next week so I'll find out the status of
his unschooling documentary that was started last year. I'm sure it
will be interesting, varied and rich...like Cameron himself. Speaking
of Cameron, he's a grown unschooler that works full time. He's also
very involved in drumming with several groups, running a camp and
basically living a very full life following his unique passions.

My own children don't need to make a living, yet are constantly
thinking up interesting ways to make money! Trevor (16) plans to get
his computer repair business up and running this year. He's quite
knowledgable about technology in general and has been invited to hang
out with the tech department up at ETSU (by a professor that works up
there).

Both the older Dodd kids have jobs and are doing well, one of them
started working when he was fairly young. Started as volunteer work
and then turned into a paying job because he was SO responsible and
helpful.

I'm interested in the grown unschooler "exception". Most of the time,
when I've read of angry or frustrated adult unschoolers (I've heard of
two) I look at the life of the family and see that the parents weren't
truly addressing the child's desires.
One family I'm thinking of, lived very rural and never brought this
child into the city where he wanted to be. He wanted a larger social
group and the outlets a city could offer, but didn't have access to
that. True unschooling is a partnership in which everyone's needs are
met most of the time. If a child needs more access to something, it's
our job to help them get it! Ignoring a very real need for years, is
likely to cause resentment and perhaps the child would be better off
in school if they wanted to be there. I may be wrong, but I think this
child wanted to go to school and they didn't let him.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com


Pampered Chef Michelle

On 3/24/06, Maisha Khalfani <earthspirit393@...> wrote:
>
> Hello (and sorry for the cross posts) - I'm still lurking but I'm talking
> with my husband about the idea of radical unschooling and he has some issues
> with it. He wants to know what some of your adult children do for a
> living. He's a big skeptic about the whole radical unschooling thing and
> wants to know if your children have gone on to make a living in the "real
> world". Thanks.


My co-parent is essentially an unschooler. He did go to traditional public
school, but *barely* passed. He had issues with doing busy work, homework
and anything else that "reinforced" a theory that he already understood.
(He'd pass the tests with flying colors - usually 100% but he would fail
because he lacked to do his "assignments") He knew he wanted to do
something with computers. He went into the military for 6 years and when he
got out he started his own venturing into "uncollege." He now works as a
Network Engineer, Administrator and Computer Programmer (his technical job
is System Network Administrator). I have a very good friend in BC who
unschooled her three daughters. I think wrote about this last week. One is
a professional photographer specializing in weddings and baby photos but
also does photos for magazines. Another is a published author and SAHM.
The third is leaving this week to begin working at Disney World in
attractions (she has been told she will be singing and dancing in one of the
shows.)

Some kids decide to go on to college and make it their goal to have the
requirements needed to enter college while others start off on careers that
are built around an interest and skip college altogether. I have a budding
author in my house but she hasn't decided whether or not she is going to go
to college or just keep writing.





--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Catch our new wave of color!
Book a March show!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Well, my daughter isn't an adult yet chronologically but she has supported herself for the last three years. At the age of 15, she works part-time at a local gymnastics school teaching classes. She raises dairy goats and sells them and their milk. She also raises other livestock, competing against professional breeders, and auctions her animals. She completely pays for all of her expenses other than food, and she could afford that but it simply isn't necessary.

Julie S.

----- Original Message -----
From: Maisha Khalfani <earthspirit393@...>
Date: Friday, March 24, 2006 11:59 pm
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] adult unschoolers

> Hello (and sorry for the cross posts) - I'm still lurking but I'm
> talking with my husband about the idea of radical unschooling and
> he has some issues with it. He wants to know what some of your
> adult children do for a living. He's a big skeptic about the
> whole radical unschooling thing and wants to know if your children
> have gone on to make a living in the "real world". Thanks.
>
> Maisha
> "Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink,
> taste the fruit, and dance with the Earth in all her glorious
> colors." ~ Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

[email protected]

>>My co-parent is essentially an unschooler.>>

My husband is too. He recently wrote a letter to the editor of our local paper on just this topic. I think he's a pretty successful guy. :o) Here's his letter.

>>The biggest problem with �schooling� is that, at best, it works for about 80% of the population. The kids in the top 10 percent are bored silly and the kids on the bottom fall out of the system completely. I�m a bottom 10 percenter myself. I stopped going to class in 8th grade because I was constantly told that I would
be a failure if I couldn�t do better than a C-minus average. I eventually dropped out and left home.

Since then I have taught myself typography, programming, SGML, marketing, cooking, candle making, and screenwriting (Honorable Mention, Best of The West Film Festival, 1999, �Life�). I pursued those endeavors because they interested me. It is certain that no school would have taught me those disparate subjects; even programming wasn�t available to me because of my infinite deficiencies in mathematics. Interestingly, I became a programmer without any of the prerequisite math that educators demand.

In 2003 I left a programming job to buy a modest coffee shop in Corvallis�before that day I had never been in a coffee shop, worked in food service, or owned a business. I set about teaching myself restaurant management, bookkeeping, plumbing, business management, and a slew of other things. I have recently
expanded that caf� into a popular eatery that contributes to downtown Corvallis� character.

Academically speaking, I am an utter failure; and yet that fact has proven to be completely irrelevant in my life. I am an autodidact. I am an unschooler.

Jon Gold
Corvallis, OR>>

--
~Mary

"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh

-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "Pampered Chef Michelle" <pamperedmichelle@...>

michele oquinn

Also, Grace Llewellyns book The Teenage Liberation
Handbook offers MANY ways in which we can be
successful and happy (college or not).

She runs the Not Back to School Camps in Oregon and
Vermont. Perhaps some parents that have sent kids
there might chime in. Her website is
http://www.nbtsc.org





__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

Melissa

Then there are the adult schoolers.

I was in the top 5% of my class, and I was told I had to do even
better, to aim for the top 1%. My life was miserable because the only
focus I was taught was to achieve, to get good grades. I have no self
esteem because I was bullied by adults my entire life to 'live up to
my potential'. I wasted over $50,000 in student loans going to
college when really all i wanted was to be left alone. I love being a
stay at home mom, the adults from my high school and my family
thought I was a dismal failure. That's not the system i want my kids
in...my dad and my aunt now, have always been proud of me, but I
never saw that for all the failure I saw in other's eyes.

OTOH, my brother was considered the bottom percentage. He grew up
being compared, unfortunately to me. He had the guts to quit, to
'fail', to stop trying to live up to others expectations. He's a
brilliant guy. He figured out electronics by himself, he's a genius
with computers, and understands them intuitively. He's got the same
issues I have, no self-esteem, much self-loathing.

I think the question is odd, what JOBS do these people have. Why not
ask how happy they are? All in all, I'd rather live happily in a
crummy apartment and work in pizza (one of my favorite jobs, I might
add, in college) than be wealthy and miserable (as premed, I worked
at a hospital, it sucked and NO ONE was happy). We're both happy now,
after 30 years of life, because we finally had the nerve to buck the
system. He's married a homeschooler, and they plan on unschooling. I
finally got the chutzpah to pull my own kids out of school. Basically
told my husband that if I'm the one staying home and responsible for
the kids, we'll do it my way. It didn't take long for him to see how
much happier they are, and how much more eager they are to be part of
life.

My husband finally has the job of his dreams, it has nothing to do
with his college degree, he got a govt job, they trained him in
something completely different. He's finally worked his way to what
he wanted to do, play with computers all day ;-) Who said gaming was
bad?

Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose

trektheory

Are those "top" and "bottom" 10%ers based on grades? Because, based
on smarts, he would definitely fall into the top group, imo. A lot
of gifted kids don't exactly get stellar grades, I've discovered.
Some of them get decided lousy ones in school. I am certain my son
would get very mediocre grades if he were in a traditional setting --
thank goodness we have alternate options!

BTW, when I first read the subject, I thought it was about adults
who are currently unschooling -- and I can say that I am learning
more since I was an adult -- and especially a mother, and ESPECIALLY
a homeschooling mother, than I did in school. How much of what
I "learned" I forgot, too....


Linda

--- In [email protected], zenmomma@... wrote:
>
> My husband is too. He recently wrote a letter to the editor of our
local paper on just this topic. I think he's a pretty successful
guy. :o) Here's his letter.
>
> >>The biggest problem with "schooling" is that, at best, it works
for about 80% of the population. The kids in the top 10 percent are
bored silly and the kids on the bottom fall out of the system
completely. I'm a bottom 10 percenter myself. I stopped going to
class in 8th grade because I was constantly told that I would
> be a failure if I couldn't do better than a C-minus average. I
eventually dropped out and left home.
>
> Since then I have taught myself typography, programming, SGML,
marketing, cooking, candle making, and screenwriting (Honorable
Mention, Best of The West Film Festival, 1999, "Life"). I pursued
those endeavors because they interested me. It is certain that no
school would have taught me those disparate subjects; even
programming wasn't available to me because of my infinite
deficiencies in mathematics. Interestingly, I became a programmer
without any of the prerequisite math that educators demand.
>
> In 2003 I left a programming job to buy a modest coffee shop in
Corvallis—before that day I had never been in a coffee shop, worked
in food service, or owned a business. I set about teaching myself
restaurant management, bookkeeping, plumbing, business management,
and a slew of other things. I have recently
> expanded that café into a popular eatery that contributes to
downtown Corvallis' character.
>
> Academically speaking, I am an utter failure; and yet that fact
has proven to be completely irrelevant in my life. I am an
autodidact. I am an unschooler.
>
> Jon Gold
> Corvallis, OR>>

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/25/2006 8:51:24 P.M. Central Standard Time,
trektheory@... writes:

Are those "top" and "bottom" 10%ers based on grades? Because, based
on smarts, he would definitely fall into the top group, imo. A lot
of gifted kids don't exactly get stellar grades, I've discovered.
Some of them get decided lousy ones in school. I am certain my son
would get very mediocre grades if he were in a traditional setting --
thank goodness we have alternate options!


that is so my husband. He did VERY poorly in school but is one the smartest
people i know. School was boring to him not a challenge at all, it was only
when he started to learn on his own that he became really passionate about
learning.

~Alyssa
Slightly crunchy, unschooling Mom to Landen(2 1/2) and Gage(6 months)

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like you do when nobody's watching."

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/)

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/)



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sylvia Toyama

Also, Peter Kowalke does a feature each month in Life Learning magazine on adult unschoolers -- where they are and what they're doing today. You could probably find the articles online in back issues at www.lifelearningmagazine.com

Sylvia


---------------------------------
New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your PC and save big.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

>>Are those "top" and "bottom" 10%ers based on grades? Because, based on smarts, he would definitely fall into the top group, imo.>>

I think that was point. He was labeled a failure by the school system and he is anything but.

--
~Mary

"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh

-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "trektheory" <trektheory@...>





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pampered Chef Michelle

On 3/25/06, trektheory <trektheory@...> wrote:
>
> Are those "top" and "bottom" 10%ers based on grades? Because, based
> on smarts, he would definitely fall into the top group, imo. A lot
> of gifted kids don't exactly get stellar grades, I've discovered.
> Some of them get decided lousy ones in school.


Exactly!!! Einstein dropped out of school (of which the school teachers
were most grateful) and flunked out of college in everything except
mathematics and science. He had no use whatsoever for anything except math
and science. His whole world revolved around numbers and atoms. And look
what a miserable failure he was! :-) Edison was similar. He hated
school. Franklin was another that "mastered" many subjects only because he
was forced to (a really interesting read is his autobiography!) Bill Gates
had miserable grades. He may have been able to make something for himself
if he would have had an interest outside computers.

Those are all "famous" examples of people who had single interests that led
them to have fairly "successful" lives. But I look at my co-parent and how
he is SO happy doing what he is doing (most of the time when we don't have a
hurricane threatening the US - although secretly I think he enjoys that part
of his job as well - just not the aftermath.) Last night we were talking
about our passions. Those things that we love to do. The kids asked him
what his passion was. What did he want to do that would make him so happy.
His response was to make computers talk to each other to complete jobs and
understand chages. Then he stopped and said, "Hmmm. I'm doing that." He
is an example of someone who is not famous but that I would put in the
"successful" pile. My brother is another one that I would label
"successful" because he is doing something that he loves and followed his
own heart to get there. He may be poor as dirt, but he is so happy in his
life. The only thing that would make it perfect for him is if he had
custody of his daughter and a life partner and more children. (He's working
on that part LOL!)

I find it interesting that when most parents are asked what they want for
their children they first say, "I want them successful and happy." But they
look at success as being monetarily wealthy. But I notice that so many
people put success before happiness. They do this in their own lives as
well. One of my best friends once toasted me saying, "I hope that you learn
to work to live not live to work." He's the happiest little grown up boy.
He manages a concrete business in Oregon where he gets to "play in the mud"
all day and drive big trucks. Financially he and his wife "eek" out a
living, but they are SO happy with their lives.

--
> Michelle
> Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
> The Pampered Chef
> 850-474-0817
> http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
> Catch our new wave of color!
> Book a March show!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

trektheory

--- In [email protected], "Pampered Chef Michelle"
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
>
> On 3/25/06, trektheory <trektheory@...> wrote:
> >

>
> Those are all "famous" examples of people who had single interests
that led
> them to have fairly "successful" lives. But I look at my co-parent
and how
> he is SO happy doing what he is doing (most of the time when we
don't have a
> hurricane threatening the US - although secretly I think he enjoys
that part
> of his job as well - just not the aftermath.) Last night we were
talking
> about our passions. Those things that we love to do. The kids
asked him
> what his passion was. What did he want to do that would make him
so happy.
> His response was to make computers talk to each other to complete
jobs and
> understand chages. Then he stopped and said, "Hmmm. I'm doing
that." He
> is an example of someone who is not famous but that I would put in
the
> "successful" pile. My brother is another one that I would label
> "successful" because he is doing something that he loves and
followed his
> own heart to get there. He may be poor as dirt, but he is so happy
in his
> life. The only thing that would make it perfect for him is if he
had
> custody of his daughter and a life partner and more children.
(He's working
> on that part LOL!)
>
> I find it interesting that when most parents are asked what they
want for
> their children they first say, "I want them successful and happy."
But they
> look at success as being monetarily wealthy. But I notice that so
many
> people put success before happiness. They do this in their own
lives as
> well. One of my best friends once toasted me saying, "I hope that
you learn
> to work to live not live to work."


Good points -- my hopes for my son is for him to be a successful
human -- and I mean that he will be a good person, happy, contribute
to the world in a positive way, and yes, be able to make a living,
but hopefully doing what he enjoys. I know my dh enjoys his job, and
we moved to where we are at a fairly large cut in pay, to do the same
work, for what we consider a better quality of life.

If my son were to do illegal things such as drug dealing (and I don't
for a minute think he would), then I would feel I didn't raise him to
be a successful human, no matter how much money he made. I suspect
most (not all -- I've heard of proud parents of drug dealers) parents
wouldn't feel that their child was successful even if they made
oodles of dough through illicit means. At least, I hope they
wouldn't!

Linda

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/26/2006 7:41:46 A.M. Central Standard Time,
pamperedmichelle@... writes:

Exactly!!! Einstein dropped out of school (of which the school teachers
were most grateful) and flunked out of college in everything except
mathematics and science.


he also didn't speak till he was 4 Einstein that is.

~Alyssa
Slightly crunchy, unschooling Mom to Landen(2 1/2) and Gage(6 months)

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like you do when nobody's watching."

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/)

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/)



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/25/2006 9:49:18 AM Eastern Standard Time,
pamperedmichelle@... writes:


> >>>Some kids decide to go on to college and make it their goal to have the
> requirements needed to enter college while others start off on careers that
> are built around an interest and skip college altogether. <<<
>
>

****I SO agree with this! Not every successful person had to go to college to
get there. I went, my dh went, but it was WAY after high school when we did
finally go and I never finished. We both hated school so much and after being
forced and bullied into so called learning, we rebelled against it for many
years. It's no wonder we have found unschooling for our kids! <g>

If our girls (now 11 & 12) want to go to college then, so be it, but, they
may not want to, they may want to start their own business or pursue their
dreams in another way. Having a college degree does not guarantee success. I think
if there is a desire and a strong will, pretty much anyone can obtain one any
way.

Nancy


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