[email protected]

I'm floored at the number of members this list has in such a short time!
We're up to 175 members----and that number seems to grow daily.

I apologize for being unavailable lately. We've been travelling and partying
(Cajun night tonight---those crayfish are in season, ya' know!) and
gardening and swimming, and....well, this will keep up until it gets just *too* hot
to be outside.

The "old farts" that hang around here and answer your questions, well, I've
met most of them and I know their stories. But I have a few questions for you
newbies.

How did y'all find UnschoolingBasics? Were you referred here from another
list? A friend? A website? Surfing?

Are you coming to unschooling from attachment parenting----like Robyn and
Rue and Deb? Or are you coming into it from a schooling background, like me and
Pam and Ren?

Are you looking at unschooling as a means of "education" only? Or do you
find it emcompassing your lives? Do you want to limit it to educational things?
Or do you want it as a lifestyle?

We want to keep this list as gentle as we can----because folks are here "for
the basics". But we started it because we are passionate about unschooling
and want to share it with as many people as possible (Free the Children, doncha
know! <g>); so therefore our fingers can get a little "passionate" too! <g>

We want you to feel comfortable enough to ask anything, but at the same
time, to be accepting of all the answers you get. Each answer may not fit your
particular situation, but there might be something there for the *next*
reader----so it's just as valuable, just not necessarily to *you*.

I also want to invite everyone to SERIOUSLY consider the Live and Learn
Unschooling Conference which is being held in Peabody, MA this year----August
27-29. It's an absolutely incredible weekend FULL of unschoolers in action.
You'll get to see many of the children we are talking about. Dads can talk with
other dads. Your kids can make new friends----some become e-pals and some even
get togetther during the year! You can connect with e-friends IRL. And there
are LOTS of fun things for ALL ages to do all weekend long! It's
inspirational! You'll go home full of ideas and confidence that what you're doing is
RIGHT and GOOD.

So, to those of you clinging on to the edge of the pool, we're here in the
middle yelling. "The water's FINE!" We're fairly trustworthy. I promise! <g>

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

mamaaj2000

Woohoo!!

Thanks to everyone taking the time to hang with us newbies!

I found this list either from UnschoolingDiscussion or
Unschooling.com, don't remember which.

I love hearing about all the people who did this intuitively...that's
NOT been the case with me. Attachment parenting was so different than
what I knew. Didn't always feel right, but I kept doing it.

When Mikey was two, we started expecting him to follow rules because
1) we didn't like kids of permissive parents and 2) he could
understand rules and why we had them.

That was a bad year.

I got on a couple homeschooling pre-k lists. Even before I read Alfie
Kohn, I was not comfortable by how people had all sorts of reward
systems set up to get their kids to learn. Then I moved to more
gentle homeschooling lists. Other people's kids seemed to be thriving
doing projects from start to finish and sitting down to be taught.
Didn't work with us. Made us all uptight and unhappy. So to be
perfectly honest, I got to unschooling because nothing else worked! I
did not think it would work either at first, but the more I thought
about my experiences in school, the more sense it made to do the
complete opposite. Mikey is a lot like me, so it might actually work
for him, I sez to myself. I've been reading a ton about unschooling
over the last few months, after starting to read about not using
consequences and other similar parenting philosophies.

Currently, I'm relaxing controls on food and sleep and helping with
clean up. The food issue is going well. I was prepared for Mikey to
eat lots of junk and he actually is eating more variety and more
fruit and other good stuff than I thought. (I know, think of it not
as junk and good...I'll get there!)

Other stuff is harder, like the attitude about helping or even just
not making a mess while I'm cleaning up. Okay if he doesn't want to
come to the dining room while we eat, but I don't like him screaming
for me in the living room while I'm eating!

We're starting to get into a groove, now that dh isn't traveling,
we're not traveling, and I'm spending less time on the computer
reading everything I can find about unschooling! I think he needs
tons of attention and love right now--I don't know if it's a physical
or emotional growth spurt or just a reaction to how things have been,
but man! Any little thing makes him scream...and then it's really
hard to help him.

Question: where are the support groups for NCP? Is there a support
group for unschooling? It seems like there's a need for flat out
support that's not being met on the unschooling discussion lists. Is
there a web site about the conference? I don't think we can make, but
I'd like to tell dh about it and offer to send him, LOL.

Time to go refill the bowl of red white and blue goldfish for the boy
and snuggle up on the couch to watch tv with him!

--aj, mama to Mikey, 3.5 and Caroline, who will be 1.5 tomorrow!

Joan Labbe & Salvatore Genovese

"How did y'all find UnschoolingBasics? Were you referred here from another
list? A friend? A website? Surfing?

Are you coming to unschooling from attachment parenting----like Robyn and
Rue and Deb? Or are you coming into it from a schooling background, like me
and
Pam and Ren?

Are you looking at unschooling as a means of "education" only? Or do you
find it emcompassing your lives? Do you want to limit it to educational
things?
Or do you want it as a lifestyle?"


I've been on this list a month, so I think I qualify as a newbie. I'm
coming to unschooling from attachment parenting - it seems a natural
extension of it in many ways. I've considered homeschooling from the get
go, and read Mary Griffith's Homeschooling Handbook, which interested me in
this unschooling approach. So I read her Unschooling book and realized this
was for us. It fits my daughter's personality perfectly, and my own as
well, and after I read it I thought, Wow, I guess if I am going to buy a
curriculum I might as well send them to school. My gift to them can be to
let them lead themselves and me and keep that amazing spark of learning and
desire alive and every day they can live the wonderful message that what
they are interested in is the most important thing at the moment.

I guess I've come to question what I tend to think of as "educational"
things. I think that's deschooling for me! So I've come to think that when
we are working on peaceful conflict resolution, we are learning something
"educational" together - we are learning about valuable life skills - how to
resolve conflicts. Since I've got on this list we've started learning from
the milk we spilled or the egg we dropped - I can start to see what
unschoolers mean when they say that it's all just living.

My two cents for what it's worth, which may be what everyone paid for it,
about the hard feelings that happen on email lists with folks not feeling
respected, is - and I'll speak for what I've noticed about myself - when I
don't feel the needs I've expressed for myself in a post have been heard and
understood and reflected back in the answer, then I tend to get angry and
defensive and feel disrespected. That doesn't mean the sender implied or
intended any disrespect, it is just the impact on me. So personally when
replying to someone I try to say what I'd like someone else to say if I were
in their shoes. Not just so I don't cause hard feelings, but also because I
don't want to waste my time on an email that is not really heard and I want
to do what I can so the other person can hear my intended message. I've
been on many email lists, including ones with groups where I know and see
all the people personally, and email just seems to promote difficult
communication issues. As wonderful as email is to hook us all up, it's a
hard medium for emotional issues, and certainly our issues with parenting
and unschooling our kids are emotional ones. I very much enjoy this list
and appreciate the time and effort the folks setting it up have put in.
thanks.

Joan
Mom to Aline 5.7 & Nicky 3.4

Michelle

I came to find this list from Sandra's list. I saw someone, I think maybe Pam, had this list in her signature line, I think. I checked it out, and feel much more comfortable posting on this list. As a newbie it is easier to post with a group newbies. I came to unschooling from a friend I met in a local homeschool group. She is a radical unschooler, and was a moderator on Sandra's list. When I first heard about unschooling, I said "there is no way that can work for us." We were doing school at home, restrictions, time outs, the whole thing. We completely let go of the school at home, and have been slowly working into all other aspects of this life. Food restrictions are gone, TV restrictions are gone, and we are working on bedtime. We let go of everything at once, and it was too much for our 6yo ds to handle. Life for him was chaos. So we went back to a semi scheduled life, and have let go a little at a time. Much easier for him to work into. He is a very happy child,
and comes up with things that just blow me away. Yesterday he explained to me how shadows are created. I asked him where he had learned it. Baby Loony Toons!! Who knew!! That evil TV is really worth something!! LOL!

Our life has changed so much, as we came to this from a place that was nowhere near here. No AP, no gentle parenting, and were planning on sending our son to school. We had decided to school at home and had been doing it for a year when we came to unschooling. It is amazing how one chance meeting with one person can change the whole direction of your life.

Michelle


How did y'all find UnschoolingBasics? Were you referred here from another
list? A friend? A website? Surfing?

Are you coming to unschooling from attachment parenting----like Robyn and
Rue and Deb? Or are you coming into it from a schooling background, like me and
Pam and Ren?




---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail - 50x more storage than other providers!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

earthmothergypsy

> How did y'all find UnschoolingBasics?

I am part of the group called UnschoolingMN and Kelli told us she
started this group too, so off I went to join. :) I LOVE how active
this group is and want to spend more time here learning from all of
you.


> Are you coming to unschooling from attachment parenting?

Yes and from schooling too. My older kids were in PS for awhile. My
younger kids will never see the inside of a PS if I have anything to
do with it. lol!

> Are you looking at unschooling as a means of "education" only? Or
do you find it emcompassing your lives? Do you want to limit it to
educational things? Or do you want it as a lifestyle?

An encompassing life thing. It is a lifestyle choice here for us,
though I do have a dd that wants to "do school".

~Amanda

Sherri-Lee Pressman

Hi Kelly,



I found this list through the unschoolingdiscussion list on Yahoo groups.
Joined there got totally overwhelmed and frustrated and decided to take a
step back.



I hated my public school experience period. As did my dh. The difference for
us was parental support. I learned that my parents did not ever believe I
was right or deserved to be stood up for. I can remember calling home (from
high school) in tears because some girl (real tough bully) had been told
that I said she was a slut (didn't) and she was completely dedicated to
beating me to a pulp. I have never had a physical fight and was terrified of
this girl. All through lunch she followed me everywhere with her gang of
girls. I tried to stay in busy places like the lunch room and library and
gymnasium, but in each place she managed to intimidate me and scare me and
push things a bit further. When she pushed me down a flight of stairs I
decided to call my mom (I was already so indoctrinated to believe I had no
value I couldn't even make the decision for myself that I would leave school
for that day) and asked her to come get me. And her reply? What did I do to
deserve this? And I should better stay and deal with this because if I ran
crying home every time someone was mean to me I wouldn't learn how to stand
up for myself. Nice lesson. Just an example that not only did I learn that
school was a torture chamber each day but there was no one to defend me. Now
my dh also had hell in school but his parents supported him in every battle
and stood up for him and his mom actually fought the school board when he
was kicked out in grade 12 for handing out literature on birth control to
the girls in the late 60's. Different lesson that ended in us both hating
public school and being totally committed to homeschool.



So after my dd was born (now 4) I was sure I would do it, but scared, how
would I do the lesson plans, how would I know what to teach? How could I
teach what I didn't know? Etc etc . and I just was overwhelmed again and
then started to read about unschooling. We are totally committed to it as a
means of "education". I am not too sure about embracing it as a total life
style yet and my dh feels the same way.



We have relaxed on the TV, food and bedtimes a bit mostly listening to her
wishes more and not imposing ours as much. But I am not ready to totally let
go. I guess some will see that as a lack of trust in her, I don't see it
that way. I also see that when she feels she has too many choices she is
overwhelmed and doesn't know what to do. As some other posters have said I
believe it is my job to teach some limits and to help her to learn her way,
how that will look who knows? Now with #2 on the way things might change a
lot.



We did follow an AP style for parenting. It was hard for my dh as he felt at
times that she was "out of control" but now he is seeing the rewards of it
in this special amazing young girl who is so creative and imaginative and
talented that he is reassured to endure some of the challenges with #2
(whew!)



I would love to go to the conference but as a Canadian, I am not sure how
applicable it would be to us. Also the distance is imposing. Perhaps next
year. My dh is familiar with Holt's work, read him in the 60's and 70's
actually and has some of his early books and feels that his approach and
attitude is too American and not applicable to us as Canadians. Now I
haven't read any of his yet, but I am going to get dh to dig up his books
(yes he still has them. doesn't throw anything out makes for some
interesting memorabilia) and start on them. Any suggestions on where to
start, what book specifically?



What do you feel about Gordon Neufeld if you are familiar with him at all?
He seems to have extensive info on homeschooling (not sure on his attitude
about unschooling) and learning.



I took a wonderful course on bonding last week as one of the modules for my
NLP certificate and was just amazed at the wealth of info on bonding and how
it will affect learning etc and how to correct a glitch in the bond. Very
fascinating.



Thanks for asking these questions, it is great to hear what others are
saying, I think I went off a bit but it is where it led me.. My toes are in
and I am slipping up to my knees:-)



Sherri-Lee



_____

From: kbcdlovejo@... [mailto:kbcdlovejo@...]
Sent: Saturday, June 26, 2004 10:58 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] newbies and how did you find us?



I'm floored at the number of members this list has in such a short time!
We're up to 175 members----and that number seems to grow daily.

I apologize for being unavailable lately. We've been travelling and
partying
(Cajun night tonight---those crayfish are in season, ya' know!) and
gardening and swimming, and....well, this will keep up until it gets just
*too* hot
to be outside.

The "old farts" that hang around here and answer your questions, well, I've

met most of them and I know their stories. But I have a few questions for
you
newbies.

How did y'all find UnschoolingBasics? Were you referred here from another
list? A friend? A website? Surfing?

Are you coming to unschooling from attachment parenting----like Robyn and
Rue and Deb? Or are you coming into it from a schooling background, like me
and
Pam and Ren?

Are you looking at unschooling as a means of "education" only? Or do you
find it emcompassing your lives? Do you want to limit it to educational
things?
Or do you want it as a lifestyle?

We want to keep this list as gentle as we can----because folks are here
"for
the basics". But we started it because we are passionate about unschooling
and want to share it with as many people as possible (Free the Children,
doncha
know! <g>); so therefore our fingers can get a little "passionate" too! <g>

We want you to feel comfortable enough to ask anything, but at the same
time, to be accepting of all the answers you get. Each answer may not fit
your
particular situation, but there might be something there for the *next*
reader----so it's just as valuable, just not necessarily to *you*.

I also want to invite everyone to SERIOUSLY consider the Live and Learn
Unschooling Conference which is being held in Peabody, MA this
year----August
27-29. It's an absolutely incredible weekend FULL of unschoolers in action.

You'll get to see many of the children we are talking about. Dads can talk
with
other dads. Your kids can make new friends----some become e-pals and some
even
get togetther during the year! You can connect with e-friends IRL. And
there
are LOTS of fun things for ALL ages to do all weekend long! It's
inspirational! You'll go home full of ideas and confidence that what you're
doing is
RIGHT and GOOD.

So, to those of you clinging on to the edge of the pool, we're here in the
middle yelling. "The water's FINE!" We're fairly trustworthy. I promise!
<g>

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Not sure if I'm old enough to be an old fart or new enough to all of this to
be a newbie -- but here goes -- responding to the questions below:

I have no idea how I found this list -- Pam, did you tell me about it?
Anyway, lots of lists. Lots of chatter. Your name came up. :)

Not coming from an attachment parenting background.

I guess the other choice is "schooling background" and I guess that's us. The
kids are learning and happy and we unschool and it's really not more of a
deep thing than that. :)

I think rather than looking to have unschooling change our lives or just be
about the learning or any of what you asked -- it's more like unschooling fits
our lives. It fits us. We are this way -- intellectually curious,
self-employed, unstructured in a lot of ways, out of the normal career path that some
families have, not sure what "success" will look like for our kids -- but it will
be about happiness rather than a paycheck if any of how we live sticks. So it
just fits -- it's not that it is changing us so much as we just change -- and
it still fits. Well, that doesn't seem clear at all.

Gentle and passionate -- sounds like a good balance to me.

I'm not going to make the conference but would love to hear more about it
after.

Nance

In a message dated 6/26/2004 4:01:06 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
Message: 23
Date: Sat, 26 Jun 2004 13:58:23 EDT
From: kbcdlovejo@...
Subject: newbies and how did you find us?

I'm floored at the number of members this list has in such a short time!
We're up to 175 members----and that number seems to grow daily.

I apologize for being unavailable lately. We've been travelling and partying
(Cajun night tonight---those crayfish are in season, ya' know!) and
gardening and swimming, and....well, this will keep up until it gets just
*too* hot
to be outside.

The "old farts" that hang around here and answer your questions, well, I've
met most of them and I know their stories. But I have a few questions for you

newbies.

How did y'all find UnschoolingBasics? Were you referred here from another
list? A friend? A website? Surfing?

Are you coming to unschooling from attachment parenting----like Robyn and
Rue and Deb? Or are you coming into it from a schooling background, like me
and
Pam and Ren?

Are you looking at unschooling as a means of "education" only? Or do you
find it emcompassing your lives? Do you want to limit it to educational
things?
Or do you want it as a lifestyle?

We want to keep this list as gentle as we can----because folks are here "for
the basics". But we started it because we are passionate about unschooling
and want to share it with as many people as possible (Free the Children,
doncha
know! <g>); so therefore our fingers can get a little "passionate" too! <g>

We want you to feel comfortable enough to ask anything, but at the same
time, to be accepting of all the answers you get. Each answer may not fit
your
particular situation, but there might be something there for the *next*
reader----so it's just as valuable, just not necessarily to *you*.

I also want to invite everyone to SERIOUSLY consider the Live and Learn
Unschooling Conference which is being held in Peabody, MA this year----August

27-29. It's an absolutely incredible weekend FULL of unschoolers in action.
You'll get to see many of the children we are talking about. Dads can talk
with
other dads. Your kids can make new friends----some become e-pals and some
even
get togetther during the year! You can connect with e-friends IRL. And there
are LOTS of fun things for ALL ages to do all weekend long! It's
inspirational! You'll go home full of ideas and confidence that what you're
doing is
RIGHT and GOOD.

So, to those of you clinging on to the edge of the pool, we're here in the
middle yelling. "The water's FINE!" We're fairly trustworthy. I promise! <g>

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelli Traaseth

earthmothergypsy <earthmothergypsy@...> wrote:
>> How did y'all find UnschoolingBasics?

****I am part of the group called UnschoolingMN and Kelli told us she
started this group too, so off I went to join. :) I LOVE how active
this group is and want to spend more time here learning from all of
you.*****




Hi everybody, I'm the Kelli to whom Amanda is referring. I thought I better jump in with a correction.

I did let the members of my Unschooling MN list know about this new list. But, I am not one of the people that started it. That must have gotten confused in my announcement. I'd love to take the credit, but I can't. <g>

I suggested this list because I deeply believe in the same things that these women believe in and actually got to meet them at the Live and Learn Conference last summer. They are some of the most awesome people I've ever met. :) And I can't wait to see you all again! I'll have to wait for you, Ren, until next year. :(

My family is now counting down the days until we leave for Peabody!


I suppose I can introduce myself too. My dh(Tim) and I have 3 children, Alec (11), Abbi(9), and Kyra (7). We have been unschooling now for about 2 1/2 years. We tried public schooling, charter schooling and homeschooling. None fit the bill. Then I was reading late one night on the internet and came across unschooling. Our lives have never been the same and I've never looked back. Its been incredibly freeing, eye opening and just plain amazing.

Our lives are unschooled. It encompasses all of it. When I first read of it I thought it was just another way of educating my child. Boy,,,it went and goes so much further than that. We have learned to trust our children in so many ways, and they in turn trust us. Our relationships have grown so much. I can't even begin to explain it. Maybe some day, but not right now. :)

Anyway, I'll probably be hanging around here, reading a bit, but I'm not sure how much time I'll have to post.

Glad you guys started this!

Kelli~ (the Kelli with the "i" and from the North) <g>






---------------------------------
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Yahoo! Mail - You care about security. So do we.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelli Traaseth

Kelli Traaseth <kellitraas@...> wrote

**We tried public schooling, charter schooling and homeschooling.**

OK, sorry, I just wanted to clarify that statement before you all go, "huh??" Yes we homeschool, but but no school. I guess I just look at it as living our lives.


Hmmm, I wonder how Amanda got confused by my writing before?? <g>

Sorry Amanda and list owners/moderators.

Kelli~


---------------------------------
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Yahoo! Mail - 50x more storage than other providers!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robyn Coburn

<<<I would love to go to the conference but as a Canadian, I am not sure how
applicable it would be to us. Also the distance is imposing. Perhaps next
year. My dh is familiar with Holt's work, read him in the 60's and 70's
actually and has some of his early books and feels that his approach and
attitude is too American and not applicable to us as Canadians. Now I
haven't read any of his yet, but I am going to get dh to dig up his books
(yes he still has them. doesn't throw anything out makes for some
interesting memorabilia) and start on them. Any suggestions on where to
start, what book specifically?>>>>

I cannot stress strongly enough how important it is to get the LATEST
edition of John Holt's books.

Towards the end of his life, when his attitude and focus had changed from
"school reform" to "teach your own", he went through and notated his older
works. Sometimes to the point of writing to the effect of, "I don't believe
this now, and I'm sorry I wrote it".

John Holt spent much of his teaching and researching time in the UK, I
think.

This year the conference is in Boston. Next year the conference is in
Florida. You will be entirely welcome at both. It is not about
nationalities. I am Australian, and one of the families Jayn especially
loved were British (unfortunately of us, they are back there now). There are
other Canadians.

Robyn L. Coburn



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sandrewmama

on 6/26/04 12:58 PM, kbcdlovejo@... at kbcdlovejo@... wrote:


>
> How did y'all find UnschoolingBasics? Were you referred here from another
> list? A friend? A website? Surfing?
>
> Are you coming to unschooling from attachment parenting----like Robyn and
> Rue and Deb? Or are you coming into it from a schooling background, like me
> and
> Pam and Ren?
>
> Are you looking at unschooling as a means of "education" only? Or do you
> find it emcompassing your lives? Do you want to limit it to educational
> things?
> Or do you want it as a lifestyle?
>
>

I'm a *newbie* to this list but not to unschooling. I've been homeschooling
my two (13b, 6g) on the unschooling end of the continuum since the
beginning.

I found UnschoolingBasics because it was mentioned on another list, I think
by Pam.

I come to unschooling from several directions. In high school I was a rebel
in my heart, but came from a strict authoritarian father and didn't feel
safe to put my rebellion into action until I was out from under his control.
I never liked school and thought the bureacracy was bogus. I came to
realize that the lack of freedom squelched my natural desire to learn. That
desire didn't really get back up to speed again until motherhood.

I earned my degree in education so I have a very schoolish background too.
Nothing I learned in my teacher training ever felt *right* to me though and
I was not interested in pursuing a career in teaching after I graduated
[just wanted to start having babies, work with Dh in the family business and
make a home]. To be totally honest, part of the appeal of the field of
education, was the allure of power. I had a need to feel power and control
over others. What better way than to be a school teacher? Sick huh?

I am also an attachment parent having learned about the concept via my
involvement with LLL. I have to credit my research into attachment parenting
as the first step towards unlearning what I'd been taught in teacher
training.

For us, unschooling definitely has a large influence on our lifestyle.
Relaxed it. Arbitrary rules and regulations don't last long in our house.
However, occassionally, when Dh or I are particularly stressed or tired, we
wield the heavy hand of ultimate power, insisting on compliance without a
long drawn out explanation or debate. The kids almost always comply at
these times and I'd like to think that it is because they understand that we
respect their needs and desires and they trust that we have a good reason
for our insistance.

Chris

TreeGoddess

Of course it's applicable! LOL Your country of origin doesn't make
any difference at an unschooling conference. :) We'd *love* to go
this year, but we just won't be able to swing in financially. <sniff>
I'm planning on coming down to FL in Oct. 2005 though!
-Tracy-

On Jun 26, 2004, at 7:22 PM, Sherri-Lee Pressman wrote:

> I would love to go to the conference but as a Canadian, I am not sure
> how
> applicable it would be to us.


[email protected]

In a message dated 6/26/2004 10:15:58 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
dezigna@... writes:

This year the conference is in Boston. Next year the conference is in
Florida. You will be entirely welcome at both. It is not about
nationalities. I am Australian, and one of the families Jayn especially
loved were British (unfortunately of us, they are back there now). There are
other Canadians.



<<<<

One of the speakers, Pam Laricchia, is Canadian!

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/26/2004 3:28:56 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
mamaaj2000@... writes:

Question: where are the support groups for NCP?<<<<<

I don't know.

>>> Is there a support group for unschooling?<<<<

Lots of local groups. National groups tend to be discussion only.

>>> It seems like there's a need for flat out support that's not being met
on the unschooling discussion lists.<<<<

Start one. They're hard enough with local groups, but you can try. I think
the locals do as well as they do because you actually meet and get to know each
other IRL. Support for this seems hard on a national list.

>>> Is there a web site about the conference? I don't think we can make, but
I'd like to tell dh about it and offer to send him, LOL.<<<<

_www.liveandlearnconference.org_ (http://www.liveandlearnconference.org)
Make it if you can. It's incredible!

~Kelly







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

cris

Hello everyone!

I'm cris and I'm a radical unschooler.

My first two children, now 19dd and 16ds, were the guinea pigs of the
family in terms of homeschooling and unschooling. Dd Larkin went in
and out of school (her choice) from preschool til 10th grade, then
left home to establish "her own" life, and is now about to give birth
to my grand-baby! Ds Evan has been inside a school building only
once in his life, for driver's ed classes -- was never interested in
school, too busy having fun! But every September for about 8 years
we'd sit down together with THE BOOKS, struggle with sitting still and
doing paperwork, and by Christmas leave it all by the wayside to have
fun and enjoy the winter! The light bulb finally went on when he was
about twelve and I began reading on these lists in 2001, and we've
been having fun - summer and winter- ever since! He is now a most
charming and sensitive young man, obsessed with wake-boarding (FYI
that's a water sport kinda like snowboarding but with a speedboat
pulling you), exploring the social scene, working as a cameraman for a
DJ and doing landscape work to earn money and keep in shape.
My twin 10yr old dds, Quinn and Madeline, are benefitting greatly from
my "experiments" with their siblings! We have a wondrous life
together living and learning naturally, and hoping we can be as
inspirational to friends and homeschooling compatriots as the
"old-timers" on the various lists have been for me.


--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@a... wrote:
>
> How did y'all find UnschoolingBasics? Were you referred here from
another
> list? A friend? A website? Surfing?

I've been here from the beginning when I read about this list at
Unschoolingdiscussion. I've been lurking there steadily for about two
years now - reading to know that there are others out there on a
journey similar to mine, and not posting because I mostly found that
someone else always beat me to it, and/or said it better! I'm
hoping to be a little more outgoing here, though, because I've been so
inspired and supported by the words of you other "convicted"
unschoolers -Sandra, Kelly, Deb, Joyce, Ren, Rue, Pam... - that I'm
figuring it's about time to live up to my responsibility to give back
and be helpful wherever I can.
>
> Are you coming to unschooling from attachment parenting----like
Robyn and
> Rue and Deb? Or are you coming into it from a schooling background,
like me and
> Pam and Ren?

A little of both, I'd say. I was an attachment parent before I ever
heard the term; with my first and all just did what my body told me to
do, and got affirmation from serendipitous writings that somehow
showed up on my radar screen when I needed them. Living and birthing
in the vicinity of Berkeley CA helped with that I think!
However, I was WELL-schooled, as well as spent A LOT of time reading
by choice - unschooling myself! - and got a BA, but to no particular
purpose, and always felt dissatisfied with the whole process. Came
across John Holt's books while pregnant with first and began to
realize that there might be another, BETTER, way to experience a
childhood, and I wanted that for my child.

> Are you looking at unschooling as a means of "education" only? Or do
you
> find it emcompassing your lives? Do you want to limit it to
educational things?
> Or do you want it as a lifestyle?

It's definitely a whole-life philosophy for us! The education part is
EASY, though; we still struggle quite a bit with the nitty gritty of
respecting each other in the day-to-day of a fairly large and diverse
family!

> I also want to invite everyone to SERIOUSLY consider the Live and
Learn
> Unschooling Conference which is being held in Peabody, MA (snip) It's
> inspirational! You'll go home full of ideas and confidence that what
you're doing is
> RIGHT and GOOD.


Me and many of mine will be there. And I'm doing my best to drag
along some others from my area. I went to SC last year (met few of
you - I'm pretty shy in crowds) and came back so totally pumped that
people couldn't shut me up about it for weeks!

I hope I can be helpful here. I'll try to at least share stories from
time to time, trusting that what works for me might work for others
as well.

And hello to you Rhode Islanders lurking out there! I'm really glad
to see you on this list; maybe it means we'll need an RI unschoolers
group soon?!?

namaste,
cris

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/26/2004 9:21:04 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
sandrewmama@... writes:

For us, unschooling definitely has a large influence on our lifestyle.
Relaxed it. Arbitrary rules and regulations don't last long in our house.
However, occassionally, when Dh or I are particularly stressed or tired, we
wield the heavy hand of ultimate power, insisting on compliance without a
long drawn out explanation or debate. The kids almost always comply at
these times and I'd like to think that it is because they understand that we
respect their needs and desires and they trust that we have a good reason
for our insistance.<<<

Right. When they don't hear a lot of arbitrary "no's", they are *much* more
likely to accept a real one!

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

earthmothergypsy

Kelli,

I think it was the Kelly-Kelli thing actually. :)
My brain had a glitch. (Must be from all those years in ps.) LOL!!!!
Only kidding. I think I actually read the MN group post with an *I*
started instead of just a new group that was started up. Then add
the names to that and well, my brain worked it's own magic.
Sorry for the goof up!!!

~Amanda


--- In [email protected], Kelli Traaseth
<kellitraas@y...> wrote:
>
>
> Kelli Traaseth <kellitraas@y...> wrote
>
> **We tried public schooling, charter schooling and homeschooling.**
>
> OK, sorry, I just wanted to clarify that statement before you all
go, "huh??" Yes we homeschool, but but no school. I guess I just
look at it as living our lives.
>
>
> Hmmm, I wonder how Amanda got confused by my writing before?? <g>
>
> Sorry Amanda and list owners/moderators.
>
> Kelli~
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Mail - 50x more storage than other providers!
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sherri-Lee Pressman

Hi Robyn,

This is good to know and I will get recent editions of his books to read...
can you supply a starting title?

Thanks for the info on the conference too, I think we will aim for next year
on the beach!

Sherri-Lee

-----Original Message-----
From: Robyn Coburn [mailto:dezigna@...]
Sent: Saturday, June 26, 2004 6:06 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] newbies and how did you find us?

<<<I would love to go to the conference but as a Canadian, I am not sure how
applicable it would be to us. Also the distance is imposing. Perhaps next
year. My dh is familiar with Holt's work, read him in the 60's and 70's
actually and has some of his early books and feels that his approach and
attitude is too American and not applicable to us as Canadians. Now I
haven't read any of his yet, but I am going to get dh to dig up his books
(yes he still has them. doesn't throw anything out makes for some
interesting memorabilia) and start on them. Any suggestions on where to
start, what book specifically?>>>>

I cannot stress strongly enough how important it is to get the LATEST
edition of John Holt's books.

Towards the end of his life, when his attitude and focus had changed from
"school reform" to "teach your own", he went through and notated his older
works. Sometimes to the point of writing to the effect of, "I don't believe
this now, and I'm sorry I wrote it".

John Holt spent much of his teaching and researching time in the UK, I
think.

This year the conference is in Boston. Next year the conference is in
Florida. You will be entirely welcome at both. It is not about
nationalities. I am Australian, and one of the families Jayn especially
loved were British (unfortunately of us, they are back there now). There are
other Canadians.

Robyn L. Coburn



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Yahoo! Groups Links

Robyn Coburn

Most people recommend "Learning all the Time" and "Teach Your Own". I have
"How Children Learn" which is very much about under 6 year olds, while "How
Children Fail" looks at older kids, but more as cautionary tales of what to
avoid (lots of school problem stories) so it probably applies least.

Robyn L. Coburn


<<<This is good to know and I will get recent editions of his books to
read...
can you supply a starting title?>>>


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[email protected]

**I have "How Children Learn" which is very much about under 6 year olds,
while "How
Children Fail" looks at older kids, but more as cautionary tales of what to
avoid (lots of school problem stories) so it probably applies least.**

Learning All The Time is the one about young children - How Children Learn is
about older kids mostly.

How Children Fail is in my opinion a hugely important book for unschoolers to
read. Plenty of people who "know what to do" still fall regularly into some
of the worst ways of interacting with children. I think it helps a lot of folks
to really look at and think about what not to do.

Deborah in IL

Jennifer Altenbach

Hi,
I'm way behind on email but thought I should answer this one since I
never introduced myself properly over here.

I'm Jenny, mom to Scotty age 4 and Eliza who is turning 1 this month.

<<How did y'all find UnschoolingBasics? Were you referred here from
another
list? A friend? A website? Surfing?>>

I found this list from UnschoolingDiscussion, where I had a bit of a
rocky start, so I thought this might be a better place for me right now.

<<Are you coming to unschooling from attachment parenting----like Robyn
and
Rue and Deb? Or are you coming into it from a schooling background, like
me and
Pam and Ren?>>

AP has definitely been the major driving force-in fact I first heard
about unschooling from Peggy O'Mara's book Natural Family Living. It is
a natural extension of attachment parenting, certainly. But my husband
Chris and I were also very affected by our schooling-I went to one of
the "best" high schools in the country, through the accelerated
programs, then did my obligatory 4 years in college and got a Master's
degree, blah blah blah, only to find out that none of that meant
anything to me after I had kids. Chris went through a terrible school
system, had a horrible time with college and dropped out, and now swears
that he will never return. For both of us the social environment of
school was a nightmare. So our schooling background has definitely
influenced our decision, at least to homeschool. Unschooling was more a
result of AP.

<<<Are you looking at unschooling as a means of "education" only? Or do
you
find it emcompassing your lives? Do you want to limit it to educational
things?
Or do you want it as a lifestyle?>>>

We definitely want it as a lifestyle, but are having some
difficulty finding a balance between unschooling and our other lifestyle
choices which have to do with sustainable, natural living. We also want
to live the unjobbing lifestyle as soon as possible (ironically, here's
where my MS will be useful, as I can teach part time at the community
college-a perfect unjobbing opportunity but about as un-unschooling as
you can get).

Thanks to the old "farts" who started this list. It's a perfect place
for me to start.

Jenny




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelly Ferry

--- kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
> How did y'all find UnschoolingBasics? Were you
> referred here from another
> list? A friend? A website? Surfing?

I found it through the unschoolingdiscussion
list...where i mostly lurk and learn. we're just
beginning our unschooling journey right now with 12 yo
Tyler (b) and have an awful lot to discover...
>
> Are you coming to unschooling from attachment
> parenting----like Robyn and
> Rue and Deb? Or are you coming into it from a
> schooling background, like me and
> Pam and Ren?

Schooling. Though i've been interested in unschooling
since Ty was of school age, just haven't been able to
start until now
>
> Are you looking at unschooling as a means of
> "education" only? Or do you
> find it emcompassing your lives? Do you want to
> limit it to educational things?
> Or do you want it as a lifestyle?

I definitely think it's a lifestyle. It's how I've
approached my adulthood and am thrilled to let it
spill into the "education" aspect of our lives.
>
> We want to keep this list as gentle as we
> can----because folks are here "for
> the basics". But we started it because we are
> passionate about unschooling
> and want to share it with as many people as possible
> (Free the Children, doncha
> know! <g>); so therefore our fingers can get a
> little "passionate" too! <g>

passion is a beautiful thing
>
> We want you to feel comfortable enough to ask
> anything, but at the same
> time, to be accepting of all the answers you get.
> Each answer may not fit your
> particular situation, but there might be something
> there for the *next*
> reader----so it's just as valuable, just not
> necessarily to *you*.

got it!
>
looking forward to sharing and learning!

Kelly Ferry

>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>




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