[email protected]

In a message dated 6/25/2004 12:12:51 AM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
This argument about bedtimes and foods is tiring to be honest.
I have seen it on so many lists. I know some people feel very
strongly that it is not respectful to limit a child's choices while
others don't see it that way. Do we have to continue battling this?
>
*****

Hi there,

I have been lurking to learn on unschooling lists for a couple of years now.
I went into lurkdom WAY back then after seeing the tongue lashing other
hopeful but naive unschoolers-to-be got on the unschooling discussion list...scared
me silly, so I learned to just read and evolve quietly. I want to add that I
LOVE this new list...thanks Kelly, Rue, Ren (and whoever else was involved in
starting it)!

Anyway, I find that by reading the threads on various topics I'm 'getting
it' (trust) more and more. At first, I thought I could just unschool on the
learning parts, and still keep the control of bedtimes and sweets, processed,
junk foods. I thought *that was part of being a good mom...controlling the
things that I thought *I* knew better than Em. However, the more I read, the more
I feel my ideas changing..

So, *I* find the threads on bedtimes and foods extremely helpful since these
are the situations I have had a hard time completely letting go of. It's a H
U G E pardigm shift for me, who is really into organic, nutritious foods, but
the more I read, the more I'm able to wrap my brain around the idea...now to
be able to DO IT!

I can already see that by modeling eating healthy and providing healthy (as
well as not) Emma (5) IS beginning to make choices that *I actually feel good
about a lot of the time..and they are HER choices, not my nagging 'have to's'.
I've relaxed more about the sweets and not-so-nutritious foods, but I know I
have a ways to go. But I also do recognize by relaxing my ideas about food,
our lives are so much more pleasant. I'm beginning to see that all the whining
and arguments related to them as totally and completely unnecessary....as
well as unfair and even unkind of me :(

*For me* I really DO WANT unschooling to become more of a way of life,
enveloping ALL aspects of our families lives, not just the things that could be
pegged as 'learning'. The broader 'definition' of unschooling resonates with
me, and I really feel if I can just let go, it'll mean our family will grow in
our connectiveness...but I just haven't quite gotten there when it comes to
food and sleep. But I keep reading and trying, reading and trying to get there.

I tried putting out all the halloween candy last year (from a thread on
unschoolingdiscussion) and it was devoured in 2 days by my then 4 year old....I got
cold feet :-/ and backed way off in that I didn't 'display' all the sweets,
etc. I haven't been able to make that huge leap of faith that eventually it
would subside. But I am working on it.

So anyway, I just wanted to PLEAD :) don't move too far from the whole life
unschooling threads. I still need 'those' conversations! I'm in the middle
of my metamorphosis here!! : )

Warmly,
Denise


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