Mary,

I can really relate to your post. I had the same issues with deciding to continue with my role as a LLL Leader last year. I had been leading monthly meetings and taking help calls for 7 years and I loved it! It fed my passion to help others and it definitely met a need to give back to the Universe. It sounds like the conferences were doing the same for you.

There did come a time, however, when the pendulum starting to swing in the other direction and it became increasingly difficult to meet the needs of my family and continue with it in the way that I was. The needs of my family evolved and changed. I could tell that it was coming to the end of my role, in the way I had been going for. In some ways, it was agonizing giving up all that I had built up in the community as a resource for families! I took probably 5 help calls a week!

I have no regrets now making the decision to allow this role and time in my life to evolve and change. I felt as though I was giving up something I had worked so hard to build, but in the end, I trusted that it wasn't an ending, but a beginning. It was a beginning for a whole new wonderful chapter in my life. It was an evolution for me personally to make the decision that was right for my family as a whole. Knowing what was best for all of us and not just best for me, was so important.

Being a LLL Leader aided me and taught me so much. I am so thankful to have been part of the organization, but I outgrew them. I decided to go with the natural flow of what felt right for my family instead of fighting to keep up something that was obviously not what it once was. Everything changes.

It came down to acceptance and trust for me. In our culture we look at "quitting" or "giving up" as something so negative. To me it wasn't either of those things. It was honoring the life-span of my time volunteering. I wasn't going to do it forever! Everything has a beginning and an end and recognizing when the end was for me was being true to myself. The world and every living thing in it is ever- changing.

If I hadn't listened to that inner knowing that it was important for me to move on, I would have never done all the incredible things that I have done with my life since!. I did mourn ending my time with LLL. I actually had a little private ceremony alone and buried my Leader name tag in the forest. I cried and thanked the Universe for allowing me the honor of helping mothers and babies for as long as I did. It was a metamorphosis for me...a new beginning.

Anyway...I hope this helps. Just trust the course that things are headed. *All is Well* as our dear Anne says.....

You can't recreate the past...you can only move forward. Only good will come with going with the flow of life.

I wish you warm thoughts during your contemplation. You can contact me anytime you need to talk.

~Peace & Love, Dayna