The Dreaded Phone Call...
Julie Anderson
I'm upset and alittle afraid right now... while I was away from home
yesterday afternoon, my 14 yo daughter got a phone call from a man
claiming to be an 'investigator' I'm assuming from DFS.. he knew my
children's names, asked which one he was talking too.. also asked if we
homeschooled. My dd was caught so off guard.. and did tell him her name
and answered that yes, we homeschool. When he asked to speak with the
mom.. she told him I wasn't at home and then she just hung up. This man
tried to call back about 5 min later.. but my dd wouldn't answer the
phone again, and he didn't leave a message.... So now I'm wondering what
happens next... I feel like our lives have been invaded.. worried about
how far this will go.. Any one here have advice or experience to offer..
I would so appreciate it. Right now, I'm afraid to let my girls answer
the phone or even be outside during school hours.. and we live in the
country too! Thanks, Julie in MO
yesterday afternoon, my 14 yo daughter got a phone call from a man
claiming to be an 'investigator' I'm assuming from DFS.. he knew my
children's names, asked which one he was talking too.. also asked if we
homeschooled. My dd was caught so off guard.. and did tell him her name
and answered that yes, we homeschool. When he asked to speak with the
mom.. she told him I wasn't at home and then she just hung up. This man
tried to call back about 5 min later.. but my dd wouldn't answer the
phone again, and he didn't leave a message.... So now I'm wondering what
happens next... I feel like our lives have been invaded.. worried about
how far this will go.. Any one here have advice or experience to offer..
I would so appreciate it. Right now, I'm afraid to let my girls answer
the phone or even be outside during school hours.. and we live in the
country too! Thanks, Julie in MO
Robyn Coburn
I'm upset and alittle afraid right now... while I was away from home
yesterday afternoon, my 14 yo daughter got a phone call from a man
claiming to be an 'investigator' I'm assuming from DFS.. he knew my
children's names, asked which one he was talking too.. also asked if we
homeschooled. My dd was caught so off guard.. and did tell him her name
and answered that yes, we homeschool. When he asked to speak with the
mom.. she told him I wasn't at home and then she just hung up. This man
tried to call back about 5 min later.. but my dd wouldn't answer the
phone again, and he didn't leave a message.... So now I'm wondering what
happens next... I feel like our lives have been invaded.. worried about
how far this will go.. Any one here have advice or experience to offer..
I would so appreciate it. Right now, I'm afraid to let my girls answer
the phone or even be outside during school hours.. and we live in the
country too! Thanks, Julie in MO
Julie,
www.nheld.com
This is a national secular legal advice group for home schoolers. Contact
them for some ideas.
Do you have caller ID in your phone? It might be worth calling that number
during business hours (from a pay phone or with your ID blocked) to see if
it is DFS and not some commercial enterprise - some of which may still have
a large amount of information.
Are all your legal paperwork things up to date and in order?
Robyn L. Coburn
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yesterday afternoon, my 14 yo daughter got a phone call from a man
claiming to be an 'investigator' I'm assuming from DFS.. he knew my
children's names, asked which one he was talking too.. also asked if we
homeschooled. My dd was caught so off guard.. and did tell him her name
and answered that yes, we homeschool. When he asked to speak with the
mom.. she told him I wasn't at home and then she just hung up. This man
tried to call back about 5 min later.. but my dd wouldn't answer the
phone again, and he didn't leave a message.... So now I'm wondering what
happens next... I feel like our lives have been invaded.. worried about
how far this will go.. Any one here have advice or experience to offer..
I would so appreciate it. Right now, I'm afraid to let my girls answer
the phone or even be outside during school hours.. and we live in the
country too! Thanks, Julie in MO
Julie,
www.nheld.com
This is a national secular legal advice group for home schoolers. Contact
them for some ideas.
Do you have caller ID in your phone? It might be worth calling that number
during business hours (from a pay phone or with your ID blocked) to see if
it is DFS and not some commercial enterprise - some of which may still have
a large amount of information.
Are all your legal paperwork things up to date and in order?
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
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nellebelle
>>>>My dd was caught so off guard.. and did tell him her nameand answered that yes, we homeschool. When he asked to speak with the
mom.. she told him I wasn't at home and then she just hung up>>>>
I've role played with my kids so they've had the chance to practice - "My mom can't come to the phone", never that I'm not home, unless it is one of our close friends or close family member. If the person on the phone pesters you, all the more reason to REPEAT, my mom can't come to the phone. If a kid is not able to do this, perhaps they should not be left home alone ever or should be instructed to NOT answer the phone.
Even though my kids are 11 and 9, we use the answering machine anyway, so they wouldn't need to answer the phone when they are home alone. On our machine, you can hear the caller leaving the message. They can easily pick it up or call back if it is someone they wish to talk to, or me calling to check on them. It is well worth the price to have this sort of answering machine!
Mary Ellen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Karen
--- In [email protected], Julie Anderson
<anderclan@c...> wrote:
I live in MO. Do you have any idea why they would call you? They may
just have had someone complain and think they can bully you around.
You have rights in MO and as long as you have your ducks in a row,
there is nothing they can do.
Have you logged any hours at all this "school year"? What you need
most is to have started some form of logging 1000 hours. I would do
one of two things: 1. go to a teacher supply store and get a teachers
weekly planner and fill in the spaces for your hours and just put down
what you have done since the beginning of Sept. If we read a book, I
log it as an hour, if we go to the park, it's P.E. for an hour, if
they play Yugio cards I log math for an hour, etc. It's only a few
weeks, so you should be able to put down enough that you can show
proof that you are doing things "by the law". 2. If you don't want to
hand write it, you can use Missouri Logger Rhythms. Do a google
search. It's a program that you can do the same thing with and it
prints out nice pretty monthly hours that look very schoolish. It's
perfect for unschoolers b/c it prints out a log with just the core
hours/noncore hours without listing all the things that they might not
see as schoolish enough to log. I just log what we do everyday and try
to put it into subjects. This way I'm covered if I need it.
BUT, legally, no one can demand to see your hours without a court
order. So, calm down and try to read up about your rights in MO. The
only thing you need by law is to log 1000 hours in a year and have
some sort of portfolio (pictures, etc). I don't worry too much about
the porfolio stuff, I just keep any pictures or things they write.
That's it. There is also a site on missouri homeschool law that you
can read up on your rights. I'm sorry I don't have any links on this
computer.
I would be furious that he questioned my child over the phone! I'm
sure things will turn out fine. Sorry for the ramble!
Karen
<anderclan@c...> wrote:
> I'm upset and alittle afraid right now... while I was away from homewhat
> yesterday afternoon, my 14 yo daughter got a phone call from a man
> claiming to be an 'investigator' I'm assuming from DFS.. he knew my
> children's names, asked which one he was talking too.. also asked if we
> homeschooled. My dd was caught so off guard.. and did tell him her name
> and answered that yes, we homeschool. When he asked to speak with the
> mom.. she told him I wasn't at home and then she just hung up. This man
> tried to call back about 5 min later.. but my dd wouldn't answer the
> phone again, and he didn't leave a message.... So now I'm wondering
> happens next... I feel like our lives have been invaded.. worried aboutoffer..
> how far this will go.. Any one here have advice or experience to
> I would so appreciate it. Right now, I'm afraid to let my girls answerJulie,
> the phone or even be outside during school hours.. and we live in the
> country too! Thanks, Julie in MO
I live in MO. Do you have any idea why they would call you? They may
just have had someone complain and think they can bully you around.
You have rights in MO and as long as you have your ducks in a row,
there is nothing they can do.
Have you logged any hours at all this "school year"? What you need
most is to have started some form of logging 1000 hours. I would do
one of two things: 1. go to a teacher supply store and get a teachers
weekly planner and fill in the spaces for your hours and just put down
what you have done since the beginning of Sept. If we read a book, I
log it as an hour, if we go to the park, it's P.E. for an hour, if
they play Yugio cards I log math for an hour, etc. It's only a few
weeks, so you should be able to put down enough that you can show
proof that you are doing things "by the law". 2. If you don't want to
hand write it, you can use Missouri Logger Rhythms. Do a google
search. It's a program that you can do the same thing with and it
prints out nice pretty monthly hours that look very schoolish. It's
perfect for unschoolers b/c it prints out a log with just the core
hours/noncore hours without listing all the things that they might not
see as schoolish enough to log. I just log what we do everyday and try
to put it into subjects. This way I'm covered if I need it.
BUT, legally, no one can demand to see your hours without a court
order. So, calm down and try to read up about your rights in MO. The
only thing you need by law is to log 1000 hours in a year and have
some sort of portfolio (pictures, etc). I don't worry too much about
the porfolio stuff, I just keep any pictures or things they write.
That's it. There is also a site on missouri homeschool law that you
can read up on your rights. I'm sorry I don't have any links on this
computer.
I would be furious that he questioned my child over the phone! I'm
sure things will turn out fine. Sorry for the ramble!
Karen
Sondra Carr
Karen - that wasn't a ramble. It was an incredibly thorough, informative,
and caring reply.
Sondra
-----Original Message-----
From: Karen [mailto:twoboysnmygirl@...]
Sent: Wednesday, September 15, 2004 8:12 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: The Dreaded Phone Call...
I would be furious that he questioned my child over the phone! I'm
sure things will turn out fine. Sorry for the ramble!
Karen
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: http://www.unschooling.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
and caring reply.
Sondra
-----Original Message-----
From: Karen [mailto:twoboysnmygirl@...]
Sent: Wednesday, September 15, 2004 8:12 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: The Dreaded Phone Call...
I would be furious that he questioned my child over the phone! I'm
sure things will turn out fine. Sorry for the ramble!
Karen
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: http://www.unschooling.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
joylyn
Robyn Coburn wrote:
Robyn, what happened with this?
btw, I don't blame your daughter at all, nor do I think she should avoid
answering the phone unless that makes her feel better. This wasn't her
fault....
Let us know what happens.
Joylyn
Robyn, what happened with this?
btw, I don't blame your daughter at all, nor do I think she should avoid
answering the phone unless that makes her feel better. This wasn't her
fault....
Let us know what happens.
Joylyn
Robyn Coburn
It's not me, I just replied to the original poster in Missouri. I'm sorry I
just cleared my deleted items folder so I can't tell you who it was.
I agree with the sentiment however.
Robyn L. Coburn
<<<<<<<Robyn Coburn wrote:
Robyn, what happened with this?
btw, I don't blame your daughter at all, nor do I think she should avoid
answering the phone unless that makes her feel better. This wasn't her
fault....
Let us know what happens.>>>>
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Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
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just cleared my deleted items folder so I can't tell you who it was.
I agree with the sentiment however.
Robyn L. Coburn
<<<<<<<Robyn Coburn wrote:
Robyn, what happened with this?
btw, I don't blame your daughter at all, nor do I think she should avoid
answering the phone unless that makes her feel better. This wasn't her
fault....
Let us know what happens.>>>>
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Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
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joylyn
Robyn Coburn wrote:
Who was it? Wonder what happened?
Joylyn
>It's not me, I just replied to the original poster in Missouri. I'm sorry IYou know, I questioned that....
>just cleared my deleted items folder so I can't tell you who it was.
>
>I agree with the sentiment however.
>
>Robyn L. Coburn
>
>
>
>
Who was it? Wonder what happened?
Joylyn
Sylvia Toyama
You know, I questioned that....
Who was it? Wonder what happened?
Joylyn
******
Her screen name indicates she's Julie Anderson, lives in MO. Haven't seen a post with the outcome yet.
Kinda worrisome. Just today, I found myself explaining to Andy that now that it's school time again, he should probably stay close to me when we're out shopping and the like. He'd wanted permission to wait in the car while I was at the grocery store, and then to hang out in the toy aisle at WalMart while I did other shopping. I told him I'm a little worried he'll be seen by someone who will cause trouble by reporting it to the authorities in some way. He offered to hide if he sees anyone who might have seen him. <g>
Sylvia
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Who was it? Wonder what happened?
Joylyn
******
Her screen name indicates she's Julie Anderson, lives in MO. Haven't seen a post with the outcome yet.
Kinda worrisome. Just today, I found myself explaining to Andy that now that it's school time again, he should probably stay close to me when we're out shopping and the like. He'd wanted permission to wait in the car while I was at the grocery store, and then to hang out in the toy aisle at WalMart while I did other shopping. I told him I'm a little worried he'll be seen by someone who will cause trouble by reporting it to the authorities in some way. He offered to hide if he sees anyone who might have seen him. <g>
Sylvia
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jenneferh2000
>Do you have caller ID in your phone? It might be worth calling thatYou could also *69 them to get the number that called- unless it is
>number
>during business hours (from a pay phone or with your ID blocked) to
>see if
>it is DFS and not some commercial enterprise - some of which may
>still have
>a large amount of information.
blocked.
-Jennefer
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/15/04 11:30:44 PM, joylyn1@... writes:
<< Robyn Coburn wrote:
Robyn, what happened with this? >>
It wasn't Robyn. She quoted another without using quotation marks.
If people just use boldface or a different color it's very confusing (not
knowing if Robyn did that or what). Please mark quotes carefully.
Thanks.
Sandra
<< Robyn Coburn wrote:
Robyn, what happened with this? >>
It wasn't Robyn. She quoted another without using quotation marks.
If people just use boldface or a different color it's very confusing (not
knowing if Robyn did that or what). Please mark quotes carefully.
Thanks.
Sandra
joylyn
Sylvia Toyama wrote:
that he would need to hide, doesn't that indicate the thinks what he's
doing (not going to school) might be wrong?
I think it is a bit like when I was nursing great big kids. I refused
to hide the fact I was nursing older kids, becuase by doing so I might
give the child, and everyone else, the idea that what I was doing was
not normal and natural for our species, if not in our society.
Homeschooling is normal and natural. It is not against the law. Sure,
it would be a pain to deal with someone reporting us, but the reality
is--those calls usually are no big deal and easily handled unless there
is an ex or other angry relative (or neighbor) involved or there is
abuse. I am NOT going to make my children be afraid.
Joylyn
Joylyn
> You know, I questioned that....Sylivia, I don't know if I'd grin. How sad that your son might think
>
> Who was it? Wonder what happened?
>
> Joylyn
>
>
> ******
>
> Her screen name indicates she's Julie Anderson, lives in MO. Haven't
> seen a post with the outcome yet.
>
> Kinda worrisome. Just today, I found myself explaining to Andy that
> now that it's school time again, he should probably stay close to me
> when we're out shopping and the like. He'd wanted permission to wait
> in the car while I was at the grocery store, and then to hang out in
> the toy aisle at WalMart while I did other shopping. I told him I'm a
> little worried he'll be seen by someone who will cause trouble by
> reporting it to the authorities in some way. He offered to hide if he
> sees anyone who might have seen him. <g>
that he would need to hide, doesn't that indicate the thinks what he's
doing (not going to school) might be wrong?
I think it is a bit like when I was nursing great big kids. I refused
to hide the fact I was nursing older kids, becuase by doing so I might
give the child, and everyone else, the idea that what I was doing was
not normal and natural for our species, if not in our society.
Homeschooling is normal and natural. It is not against the law. Sure,
it would be a pain to deal with someone reporting us, but the reality
is--those calls usually are no big deal and easily handled unless there
is an ex or other angry relative (or neighbor) involved or there is
abuse. I am NOT going to make my children be afraid.
Joylyn
Joylyn
>
> Sylvia
>
>
Liz Grimes
Sylvia wrote: > > . He'd wanted permission to wait in the car while I was
at the grocery store, and then to hang out in the toy aisle at WalMart
while I did other shopping. >>>
I will not allow the kids to stray from me while shopping at any store--the
kids are 9 & 13. We have been having trouble in all the major stores with a
guy groping kids. He waits until the kid is alone on the aisle (usually in
the toy department) and then fondles. By the time the kid finds mom &
reports it the guy is long gone. There have been some incidents caught on
the cameras. This is happening to kids from 7 or 8 up to around 16 both
boys and girls and all across our region. I'm not willing to take that kind
of chance with my guys.
I've been lurking for a couple of weeks, so I guess it's time to introduce
myself. I am Liz, married to the same man for 32 years, work at home mom
and mom to 6 children with my last name and multitudes that come through
the house and don't get our name. We foster thru a therapeutic foster care
program. I have 1 child with my last name left at home--the others are out
of the house (except Robbie -- died last year at age 17). My 9 year old son
has never been in a structured school setting. He does best with child-led
learning. My 2 younger girls homeschooled for some time of their
middle/high school years. Because of their time in public school they
required much more structure than I was comfortable with--they never
completely deschooled in spite of my efforts.
Peace,
Liz
at the grocery store, and then to hang out in the toy aisle at WalMart
while I did other shopping. >>>
I will not allow the kids to stray from me while shopping at any store--the
kids are 9 & 13. We have been having trouble in all the major stores with a
guy groping kids. He waits until the kid is alone on the aisle (usually in
the toy department) and then fondles. By the time the kid finds mom &
reports it the guy is long gone. There have been some incidents caught on
the cameras. This is happening to kids from 7 or 8 up to around 16 both
boys and girls and all across our region. I'm not willing to take that kind
of chance with my guys.
I've been lurking for a couple of weeks, so I guess it's time to introduce
myself. I am Liz, married to the same man for 32 years, work at home mom
and mom to 6 children with my last name and multitudes that come through
the house and don't get our name. We foster thru a therapeutic foster care
program. I have 1 child with my last name left at home--the others are out
of the house (except Robbie -- died last year at age 17). My 9 year old son
has never been in a structured school setting. He does best with child-led
learning. My 2 younger girls homeschooled for some time of their
middle/high school years. Because of their time in public school they
required much more structure than I was comfortable with--they never
completely deschooled in spite of my efforts.
Peace,
Liz
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/16/2004 10:10:06 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
lgrimes@... writes:
(except Robbie -- died last year at age 17). <<<
I'm so sorry for your loss, Liz.
Welcome to the list.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lgrimes@... writes:
(except Robbie -- died last year at age 17). <<<
I'm so sorry for your loss, Liz.
Welcome to the list.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sylvia Toyama
Sylivia, I don't know if I'd grin. How sad that your son might think that he would need to hide, doesn't that indicate the thinks what he's doing (not going to school) might be wrong?
*****
Nah -- he's knows there's nothing wrong with not going to school. He knows it's the busybodies who are wrong.
*****
I think it is a bit like when I was nursing great big kids. I refused to hide the fact I was nursing older kids, becuase by doing so I might give the child, and everyone else, the idea that what I was doing was not normal and natural for our species, if not in our society.
******
I'd gladly nurse Dan (3.8) in public -- I've offered to a coupla times recently when he wanted to cut short an outing to go home to nurse. He's the one who won't nurse in front of anyone except immediate family! Somewhere around 20 mos, he decided nursing was a private thing -- before that we nursed everywhere, anytime
******
Homeschooling is normal and natural. It is not against the law. Sure, it would be a pain to deal with someone reporting us, but the reality is--those calls usually are no big deal and easily handled unless there is an ex or other angry relative (or neighbor) involved or there is abuse. I am NOT going to make my children be afraid.
*******
Yes, homeschooling is normal and natural. It's a much bigger pita than I'm willing to invite into my life -- and one of my neighbors is a genuine concern. She's the queen of nuisance complaints to the city.
My kids aren't afraid of someone knowing we they don't go to school -- they tell anyone who asks, and often folks who don't ask. Because our lifestyle isn't mainstream, they know we are cautious.
I guess, too, timing had a lot to do with it. My inlaws arrive in 3 wks -- I really don't need to be juggling child or educational neglect complaints while they're here!
Sylvia
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*****
Nah -- he's knows there's nothing wrong with not going to school. He knows it's the busybodies who are wrong.
*****
I think it is a bit like when I was nursing great big kids. I refused to hide the fact I was nursing older kids, becuase by doing so I might give the child, and everyone else, the idea that what I was doing was not normal and natural for our species, if not in our society.
******
I'd gladly nurse Dan (3.8) in public -- I've offered to a coupla times recently when he wanted to cut short an outing to go home to nurse. He's the one who won't nurse in front of anyone except immediate family! Somewhere around 20 mos, he decided nursing was a private thing -- before that we nursed everywhere, anytime
******
Homeschooling is normal and natural. It is not against the law. Sure, it would be a pain to deal with someone reporting us, but the reality is--those calls usually are no big deal and easily handled unless there is an ex or other angry relative (or neighbor) involved or there is abuse. I am NOT going to make my children be afraid.
*******
Yes, homeschooling is normal and natural. It's a much bigger pita than I'm willing to invite into my life -- and one of my neighbors is a genuine concern. She's the queen of nuisance complaints to the city.
My kids aren't afraid of someone knowing we they don't go to school -- they tell anyone who asks, and often folks who don't ask. Because our lifestyle isn't mainstream, they know we are cautious.
I guess, too, timing had a lot to do with it. My inlaws arrive in 3 wks -- I really don't need to be juggling child or educational neglect complaints while they're here!
Sylvia
---------------------------------
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Robyn Coburn
<<<It wasn't Robyn. She quoted another without using quotation marks.>>>>
Oops. Your're right and I'm usually so careful about that too. I like the
little arrows as above.
Robyn L. Coburn
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Oops. Your're right and I'm usually so careful about that too. I like the
little arrows as above.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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