Don't Know Where to Begin
emma bovary
Hi,
I have a five-year-old that I plan on homeschooling, or better yet unschooling. I'm getting tired of people saying, he must be in kindergarten. Then I said I plan on homeschooling and they look at me like I have twelve heads. My mom, who is not fond of the idea is nagging me about "getting started" with Parker's education.
My question I have is on unschooling. I don't even mention to others that I'm planning on this because I feel it would be like pouring rubbing alcohol on an open wound. How, what when do I start all this?
Thanks,
Leslie
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have a five-year-old that I plan on homeschooling, or better yet unschooling. I'm getting tired of people saying, he must be in kindergarten. Then I said I plan on homeschooling and they look at me like I have twelve heads. My mom, who is not fond of the idea is nagging me about "getting started" with Parker's education.
My question I have is on unschooling. I don't even mention to others that I'm planning on this because I feel it would be like pouring rubbing alcohol on an open wound. How, what when do I start all this?
Thanks,
Leslie
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail - 50x more storage than other providers!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Crystal
You begin with yourself. Your son already knows what to do. He
doesn't need to change anything he's doing. You need to find a way
to get comfortable with telling people that you love your son so
much that you'd only do what is best for him and you feel that
homeschooling is what is best. You don't need to explain to
everyone, either. Certain people in your life care about your son
and want to know he's ok, but others are only being nosy. You know
who is who. I know it's not easy to go against the mainstream, but
everyone of us on this list is doing it. I still have people in my
life that think my kids should be in school, but I just talk about
the weather when I see them, or a friendlier subject, like politics--
lol. We have agreed to disagree.
Keep reading all you can about unschooling and one day you will have
the confidence and conviction that will either convince others, or
shut them up. There's lots of great articles on sandradodd.com plus
you can hang out here and the other unschooling lists.
Crystal
doesn't need to change anything he's doing. You need to find a way
to get comfortable with telling people that you love your son so
much that you'd only do what is best for him and you feel that
homeschooling is what is best. You don't need to explain to
everyone, either. Certain people in your life care about your son
and want to know he's ok, but others are only being nosy. You know
who is who. I know it's not easy to go against the mainstream, but
everyone of us on this list is doing it. I still have people in my
life that think my kids should be in school, but I just talk about
the weather when I see them, or a friendlier subject, like politics--
lol. We have agreed to disagree.
Keep reading all you can about unschooling and one day you will have
the confidence and conviction that will either convince others, or
shut them up. There's lots of great articles on sandradodd.com plus
you can hang out here and the other unschooling lists.
Crystal
Robyn Coburn
<<<I have a five-year-old that I plan on homeschooling, or better yet
unschooling. I'm getting tired of people saying, he must be in
kindergarten. Then I said I plan on homeschooling and they look at me like
I have twelve heads. My mom, who is not fond of the idea, is nagging me
about "getting started" with Parker's education.
My question I have is on unschooling. I don't even mention to others that
I'm planning on this because I feel it would be like pouring rubbing alcohol
on an open wound. How, what when do I start all this? >>>>
Jayn always answers that we are homeschooling to outsiders asking school
questions. Unschooling is too tough a concept to explain to those who don't
have a compelling interest or desire to really understand.
You might like to also join [email protected] which focuses
more on people beginning the process than this list. But don't take that as
an invitation to leave here! <g>
Read all the Unschooling articles and stuff at www.sandradodd.com. After
that you might try "The Unprocessed Child" by Valerie Fitzenreiter. You
might enjoy "The Unschooling Handbook" although a lot of that information
will come to you for free over time if you stay on this list and U/B.
You may be able to find some good articles about the fallacy of Early
Academics for your mom. She might enjoy some John Holt. I am lucky because
mine lives in another State, and I don't have to field her lack of
understanding very often. I focus on telling her what cool things Jayn is
doing, and letting Mum quantify for herself the learning in the activities.
When she starts on what Jayn "should" be doing, I *immediately* end the
conversation cheerfully: "No she shouldn't well gotta go love you" Click.
Then I send her further information via e-mail. I have posted before about
finding a source that she respects for that info.
Ensure that you have a clear idea of the laws in your state. www.nhen.org
and click on the Legislation link. In my case, CA, I still have a year of no
paperwork to go, so I can get doubters to be quiet with, "She's not school
age yet anyhow, just extra tall."
Join a secular, inclusive play-focused support group in your area, but don't
get sucked into too many "reading readiness" or "curriculum" conversations.
I say secular, because many of the religious based groups focus heavily on
religious curriculums and classes rather than free play at the park. One of
the things I need to do for my personal sanity is keep out of school
conversations, including school-bashing and horror stories, although
sometimes a few of these are good for silencing the opinionated.
Just begin by playing, just like you probably have been doing. Keep
reminding yourself that everything is learning. Live in the present without
a secret agenda of educational goals on any timetable. Be ready for wonder,
joy, sparkling inventions and a journey of truly knowing your child's
authentic personality and individual brilliance.
Here is fairy tale I wrote a little while ago. Welcome to the walking park.
***********************************************************
Once upon a time there was a place where almost all the people lived on a
train. The train went forward at a great pace and of course stayed on the
tracks, so the view was the same from all the windows. Most of families
stayed in the same carriage for the whole journey.
Some families didn't care for the train, so they got on their bicycles
instead. Many of these families followed right beside the train, and pedaled
as hard as they needed to, to stay with it. Others followed the increasingly
numerous bike paths that were set up that started at the depot and ended at
the terminus, but were often more winding and scenic than the train route.
At some distance from the tracks, was a garden park that was full of
walkers. The walkers meandered around sometimes, and at other times were
seen to be walking briskly forward or even jogging. To the astonishment of
passing cyclists, sometimes walkers in the beautiful garden were seen to be
lounging around on the grass, or smelling the flowers. As for the people on
the train, they could barely see the garden, let alone notice the
inhabitants.
At the gateway to the garden there was always a gate keeper. People who had
jumped off the train, as well as the occasional passing cyclist would
inquire about how to get in, and the gate keeper would smile and say that it
was a walking park, and the only thing inside was foot traffic. Sometimes
hostile cyclists would come close to the gate and shout out that the walkers
weren't going anywhere and should be cycling also, or try to show off with
trick riding, but the walkers would always just keep walking, sitting,
jogging or dancing along, having such a good time that lots of folks
abandoned their bikes and joined in.
One day a cyclist arrived at the gate and wanted to go cycling in the park,
because it looked so beautiful. The gate keeper said, "This is a walking
park. There are no directions, or maps, or paths."
The cyclist replied, "But this is a free country and I should be able to
cycle if I want to."
The gate keeper said, "Then go cycle. There are hundreds of bike paths, but
this is a walking park."
The cyclist said, "You can get along so much faster on a bike. There are
fewer distractions. Biking is better."
The gate keeper said, "Biking is not better in a walking park. The people
who are walking here have agreed that no-one can ride a bike in here. Your
bike will be perfectly safe outside the gate if you ever want to come out
and use it."
The cyclist went off in a huff, but was back the next day.
She said, "What if I agree to walk, can I go in and carry my bike?"
Walking in the beautiful park is way harder if you are hauling around your
useless bike.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.752 / Virus Database: 503 - Release Date: 9/3/2004
unschooling. I'm getting tired of people saying, he must be in
kindergarten. Then I said I plan on homeschooling and they look at me like
I have twelve heads. My mom, who is not fond of the idea, is nagging me
about "getting started" with Parker's education.
My question I have is on unschooling. I don't even mention to others that
I'm planning on this because I feel it would be like pouring rubbing alcohol
on an open wound. How, what when do I start all this? >>>>
Jayn always answers that we are homeschooling to outsiders asking school
questions. Unschooling is too tough a concept to explain to those who don't
have a compelling interest or desire to really understand.
You might like to also join [email protected] which focuses
more on people beginning the process than this list. But don't take that as
an invitation to leave here! <g>
Read all the Unschooling articles and stuff at www.sandradodd.com. After
that you might try "The Unprocessed Child" by Valerie Fitzenreiter. You
might enjoy "The Unschooling Handbook" although a lot of that information
will come to you for free over time if you stay on this list and U/B.
You may be able to find some good articles about the fallacy of Early
Academics for your mom. She might enjoy some John Holt. I am lucky because
mine lives in another State, and I don't have to field her lack of
understanding very often. I focus on telling her what cool things Jayn is
doing, and letting Mum quantify for herself the learning in the activities.
When she starts on what Jayn "should" be doing, I *immediately* end the
conversation cheerfully: "No she shouldn't well gotta go love you" Click.
Then I send her further information via e-mail. I have posted before about
finding a source that she respects for that info.
Ensure that you have a clear idea of the laws in your state. www.nhen.org
and click on the Legislation link. In my case, CA, I still have a year of no
paperwork to go, so I can get doubters to be quiet with, "She's not school
age yet anyhow, just extra tall."
Join a secular, inclusive play-focused support group in your area, but don't
get sucked into too many "reading readiness" or "curriculum" conversations.
I say secular, because many of the religious based groups focus heavily on
religious curriculums and classes rather than free play at the park. One of
the things I need to do for my personal sanity is keep out of school
conversations, including school-bashing and horror stories, although
sometimes a few of these are good for silencing the opinionated.
Just begin by playing, just like you probably have been doing. Keep
reminding yourself that everything is learning. Live in the present without
a secret agenda of educational goals on any timetable. Be ready for wonder,
joy, sparkling inventions and a journey of truly knowing your child's
authentic personality and individual brilliance.
Here is fairy tale I wrote a little while ago. Welcome to the walking park.
***********************************************************
Once upon a time there was a place where almost all the people lived on a
train. The train went forward at a great pace and of course stayed on the
tracks, so the view was the same from all the windows. Most of families
stayed in the same carriage for the whole journey.
Some families didn't care for the train, so they got on their bicycles
instead. Many of these families followed right beside the train, and pedaled
as hard as they needed to, to stay with it. Others followed the increasingly
numerous bike paths that were set up that started at the depot and ended at
the terminus, but were often more winding and scenic than the train route.
At some distance from the tracks, was a garden park that was full of
walkers. The walkers meandered around sometimes, and at other times were
seen to be walking briskly forward or even jogging. To the astonishment of
passing cyclists, sometimes walkers in the beautiful garden were seen to be
lounging around on the grass, or smelling the flowers. As for the people on
the train, they could barely see the garden, let alone notice the
inhabitants.
At the gateway to the garden there was always a gate keeper. People who had
jumped off the train, as well as the occasional passing cyclist would
inquire about how to get in, and the gate keeper would smile and say that it
was a walking park, and the only thing inside was foot traffic. Sometimes
hostile cyclists would come close to the gate and shout out that the walkers
weren't going anywhere and should be cycling also, or try to show off with
trick riding, but the walkers would always just keep walking, sitting,
jogging or dancing along, having such a good time that lots of folks
abandoned their bikes and joined in.
One day a cyclist arrived at the gate and wanted to go cycling in the park,
because it looked so beautiful. The gate keeper said, "This is a walking
park. There are no directions, or maps, or paths."
The cyclist replied, "But this is a free country and I should be able to
cycle if I want to."
The gate keeper said, "Then go cycle. There are hundreds of bike paths, but
this is a walking park."
The cyclist said, "You can get along so much faster on a bike. There are
fewer distractions. Biking is better."
The gate keeper said, "Biking is not better in a walking park. The people
who are walking here have agreed that no-one can ride a bike in here. Your
bike will be perfectly safe outside the gate if you ever want to come out
and use it."
The cyclist went off in a huff, but was back the next day.
She said, "What if I agree to walk, can I go in and carry my bike?"
Walking in the beautiful park is way harder if you are hauling around your
useless bike.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.752 / Virus Database: 503 - Release Date: 9/3/2004
emma bovary
Crystal,
Thank you for the advice and words of wisdom. I think I'm starting to get with the program so to speak.
Leslie
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Thank you for the advice and words of wisdom. I think I'm starting to get with the program so to speak.
Leslie
---------------------------------
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Shop for Back-to-School deals on Yahoo! Shopping.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/10/2004 11:27:43 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
e_bovary@... writes:
I have a five-year-old that I plan on homeschooling, or better yet
unschooling. I'm getting tired of people saying, he must be in kindergarten. Then I
said I plan on homeschooling and they look at me like I have twelve heads. My
mom, who is not fond of the idea is nagging me about "getting started" with
Parker's education.
My question I have is on unschooling. I don't even mention to others that
I'm planning on this because I feel it would be like pouring rubbing alcohol
on an open wound. How, what when do I start all this? <<<
With friends, say, "I'm the parent, and *I* get to make these decisions
regarding *my* child. I've done my homework; I feel that this is the best road to
take for now. If I find out differently, I'll make changes *then*. Thank you
for your concern. Please pass the bean dip."
As for your mother, I'd say, "I'm the parent, and *I* get to make these
decisions regarding *my* child. I've done my homework; I feel that this is the
best road to take for now. If I find out differently, I'll make changes *then*.
Thank you for your concern. Please pass the bean dip"
<g>
example. Read John Holt's books in order. Want a dose of "stay away from school at
all costs"? Read John Taylor Gatto (good ammo for grandparents and friends).
Alfie Kohn. Valerie Fitzenreiter.
Start looking for the learning that's happening every day NOW, so that
you're not unfamiliar with it when he becomes "school age". Maybe write down what
he's doing so that you CAN see it (sometimes the printed word is more
powerful than just thinking it in your head).
It's much easier to just keep on doing what you're doing than it is to be in
the school system for several years and THEN try to make the leap! You're
already ahead of the game! <g> The more comfortable *YOU* feel about
unschooling, the easier it is to explain to others and to accept that what you're doing
is good and right. Start getting comfortable! <G>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
e_bovary@... writes:
I have a five-year-old that I plan on homeschooling, or better yet
unschooling. I'm getting tired of people saying, he must be in kindergarten. Then I
said I plan on homeschooling and they look at me like I have twelve heads. My
mom, who is not fond of the idea is nagging me about "getting started" with
Parker's education.
My question I have is on unschooling. I don't even mention to others that
I'm planning on this because I feel it would be like pouring rubbing alcohol
on an open wound. How, what when do I start all this? <<<
With friends, say, "I'm the parent, and *I* get to make these decisions
regarding *my* child. I've done my homework; I feel that this is the best road to
take for now. If I find out differently, I'll make changes *then*. Thank you
for your concern. Please pass the bean dip."
As for your mother, I'd say, "I'm the parent, and *I* get to make these
decisions regarding *my* child. I've done my homework; I feel that this is the
best road to take for now. If I find out differently, I'll make changes *then*.
Thank you for your concern. Please pass the bean dip"
<g>
>>> How, what when do I start all this? <<<<<You're already starting by researching all you can. Reading here, for
example. Read John Holt's books in order. Want a dose of "stay away from school at
all costs"? Read John Taylor Gatto (good ammo for grandparents and friends).
Alfie Kohn. Valerie Fitzenreiter.
Start looking for the learning that's happening every day NOW, so that
you're not unfamiliar with it when he becomes "school age". Maybe write down what
he's doing so that you CAN see it (sometimes the printed word is more
powerful than just thinking it in your head).
It's much easier to just keep on doing what you're doing than it is to be in
the school system for several years and THEN try to make the leap! You're
already ahead of the game! <g> The more comfortable *YOU* feel about
unschooling, the easier it is to explain to others and to accept that what you're doing
is good and right. Start getting comfortable! <G>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
soggyboysmom
We've been planning on homeschooling/unschooling since DS was little
(he's 6 now, we decided by the time he was walking). Anyhow, we
generally just said "homeschooling" and didn't even go into
unschooling with most people. However, now that we're 'established'
ie DS is a year past "school age", as a way to "break the ice" and
introduce the idea, when folks asked us about weekend plans and such
recently, we talked about the unschooling conference we were excited
about going to/had a great time at. That broached the subject. Those
who caught it, asked about it - the rest just "assumed" it was the
same as homeschooling (whatever that conjures in their minds) and
moved along.
What I've found interesting in the last couple of weeks - since the
conference specifically - is people asking DS about school. They'll
say "Did you start school yet?" or "What grade are you in this
year?" or something and he says "I don't go to school." So, they
move on to "Oh, so does Daddy/Mommy teach you at home?" And he
says "No, I teach myself". They give a little smile - that kind of
grown-up look that says Oh you think you teach yourself huh? And
then I'll say He's exactly right. And the smile sort of drifts as
they try to sort out what that means. I've had some good discussions
of the concepts lately with some friends on unschooling. What is
interesting to me is the confidence and firmness in DS' tone when he
says that - he used to just defer to me or DH after the initial "No
I don't go to school". I think seeing all those other kids who live
life the way he does really had an impact - even though we basically
hung out in the pool most of the weekend.
(he's 6 now, we decided by the time he was walking). Anyhow, we
generally just said "homeschooling" and didn't even go into
unschooling with most people. However, now that we're 'established'
ie DS is a year past "school age", as a way to "break the ice" and
introduce the idea, when folks asked us about weekend plans and such
recently, we talked about the unschooling conference we were excited
about going to/had a great time at. That broached the subject. Those
who caught it, asked about it - the rest just "assumed" it was the
same as homeschooling (whatever that conjures in their minds) and
moved along.
What I've found interesting in the last couple of weeks - since the
conference specifically - is people asking DS about school. They'll
say "Did you start school yet?" or "What grade are you in this
year?" or something and he says "I don't go to school." So, they
move on to "Oh, so does Daddy/Mommy teach you at home?" And he
says "No, I teach myself". They give a little smile - that kind of
grown-up look that says Oh you think you teach yourself huh? And
then I'll say He's exactly right. And the smile sort of drifts as
they try to sort out what that means. I've had some good discussions
of the concepts lately with some friends on unschooling. What is
interesting to me is the confidence and firmness in DS' tone when he
says that - he used to just defer to me or DH after the initial "No
I don't go to school". I think seeing all those other kids who live
life the way he does really had an impact - even though we basically
hung out in the pool most of the weekend.
diana jenner
----- Original Message -----
From: <kbcdlovejo@...>
> As for your mother, I'd say, "I'm the parent, and *I* get to make these
> decisions regarding *my* child. I've done my homework; I feel that this is
the
> best road to take for now. If I find out differently, I'll make changes
*then*.
> Thank you for your concern. Please pass the bean dip"
*****************************
The best LLL quote: Your concern is appreciated, your approval is
unnecessary.
even if it's only heard inside your own head, it helps!
~diana :)
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.752 / Virus Database: 503 - Release Date: 9-7-2004
Marjorie Kirk
*****************************
The best LLL quote: Your concern is appreciated, your approval is
unnecessary.
even if it's only heard inside your own head, it helps!
~diana :)
*****************************
That's a great one! I just suggested it to a friend yesterday at our
unschoolers' get together. She's going out west to spend a week with
in-laws who are not keen on homeschooling, not to mention unschooling!
Marjorie
The best LLL quote: Your concern is appreciated, your approval is
unnecessary.
even if it's only heard inside your own head, it helps!
~diana :)
*****************************
That's a great one! I just suggested it to a friend yesterday at our
unschoolers' get together. She's going out west to spend a week with
in-laws who are not keen on homeschooling, not to mention unschooling!
Marjorie
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/13/2004 1:11:51 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
debra.rossing@... writes:
I've had some good discussions
of the concepts lately with some friends on unschooling. What is
interesting to me is the confidence and firmness in DS' tone when he
says that - he used to just defer to me or DH after the initial "No
I don't go to school". I think seeing all those other kids who live
life the way he does really had an impact <<<
Two of the best things about the conference----the feeling that you're not
alone and the confidence you gain after you're home!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
debra.rossing@... writes:
I've had some good discussions
of the concepts lately with some friends on unschooling. What is
interesting to me is the confidence and firmness in DS' tone when he
says that - he used to just defer to me or DH after the initial "No
I don't go to school". I think seeing all those other kids who live
life the way he does really had an impact <<<
Two of the best things about the conference----the feeling that you're not
alone and the confidence you gain after you're home!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]