Re: money and kids
Ali Kat
***It takes away my choice to do those tasks of my own volition and for my own motivations ... it would kill the joy of participating in the household.***
I can understand this to some point. How do you inspire this joy of participating in a child? There are plenty of tasks I do that I don�t like doing in the house, and I know I don�t �HAVE� to do them. Also, isn�t there an understanding between you and your husband? Perhaps you�ve never sat down and said �you do this and I�ll do this�, but isn�t the understanding there? As far as sharing in the money, isn�t that what we all do anyways? We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes on our backs, and when all our �needs� are met then there is the possibility of having some of our wants met also.
It sounds to me (tell me if I�m right) that the idea of giving an allowance is an opportunity for a child to learn how to spend their money, how to make choices on what to spend within their �budget�, and how to hopefully evaluate the items they are purchasing and determine their �worth� in the child�s eyes. That makes sense on many levels. I guess if that is the case, then you can give a kid an allowance, or you can just wait until they have their own job and ability to make those decisions. It�ll be a skill learned either way � though I guess the value in doing it small scale is that it hopefully won�t have the long term financial effects of making poor choices as an adult.
***You're not eight years old.****
Correct� I�m not. However, if I want something extra, I have to find some way to �earn� it or choose to do without, right? So why is that �wrong� for a child to learn/understand? Can that not be an important principle � the principle of choice, the principle of making decisions, of trying creative ways to get what you want, or the value in waiting? If you don�t have to �earn� your money, then what do you do? How do you get what you want when what you want costs money that you don�t have? Yes, it�s a choice and a tradeoff you face. I�m not sure I can see the connection between something like �earning� an A for reading. That�s a skill that is built and (IMHO) shouldn�t be penalized, but satisfying a want comes under something different � or so I think at this point. I am open to understanding otherwise. I just don�t see the connection yet.
***But to require it as a requirement for being a part of the family, no.***
I don�t require �chores� at all to be part of the family. You are family no matter what. How could it be otherwise? I would love to have her help, but I don�t know how to get her to without fighting or cajoling. She has no want to help, and sees no value in doing so. Perhaps I have done something wrong. I don�t know. At the same time, I just didn�t see what would be wrong with making a deal with her� i.e. if you clean the bathroom I�ll pay you $X amount a week/time� And true, you may be able to goof off once in a while and get paid, but if you do it often enough or don�t show up at all then they eventually get rid of you.
I'm just trying to understand.
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I can understand this to some point. How do you inspire this joy of participating in a child? There are plenty of tasks I do that I don�t like doing in the house, and I know I don�t �HAVE� to do them. Also, isn�t there an understanding between you and your husband? Perhaps you�ve never sat down and said �you do this and I�ll do this�, but isn�t the understanding there? As far as sharing in the money, isn�t that what we all do anyways? We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes on our backs, and when all our �needs� are met then there is the possibility of having some of our wants met also.
It sounds to me (tell me if I�m right) that the idea of giving an allowance is an opportunity for a child to learn how to spend their money, how to make choices on what to spend within their �budget�, and how to hopefully evaluate the items they are purchasing and determine their �worth� in the child�s eyes. That makes sense on many levels. I guess if that is the case, then you can give a kid an allowance, or you can just wait until they have their own job and ability to make those decisions. It�ll be a skill learned either way � though I guess the value in doing it small scale is that it hopefully won�t have the long term financial effects of making poor choices as an adult.
***You're not eight years old.****
Correct� I�m not. However, if I want something extra, I have to find some way to �earn� it or choose to do without, right? So why is that �wrong� for a child to learn/understand? Can that not be an important principle � the principle of choice, the principle of making decisions, of trying creative ways to get what you want, or the value in waiting? If you don�t have to �earn� your money, then what do you do? How do you get what you want when what you want costs money that you don�t have? Yes, it�s a choice and a tradeoff you face. I�m not sure I can see the connection between something like �earning� an A for reading. That�s a skill that is built and (IMHO) shouldn�t be penalized, but satisfying a want comes under something different � or so I think at this point. I am open to understanding otherwise. I just don�t see the connection yet.
***But to require it as a requirement for being a part of the family, no.***
I don�t require �chores� at all to be part of the family. You are family no matter what. How could it be otherwise? I would love to have her help, but I don�t know how to get her to without fighting or cajoling. She has no want to help, and sees no value in doing so. Perhaps I have done something wrong. I don�t know. At the same time, I just didn�t see what would be wrong with making a deal with her� i.e. if you clean the bathroom I�ll pay you $X amount a week/time� And true, you may be able to goof off once in a while and get paid, but if you do it often enough or don�t show up at all then they eventually get rid of you.
I'm just trying to understand.
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Kelly Muzyczka
>Correct Im not. However, if I want something extra, I have to find someI don't give my kids an allowance as such. Actually HUBBY gets one, just
>way to earn it or choose to do without, right? So why is that wrong
>for a child to learn/understand? Can that not be an important principle
>the principle of choice, the principle of making decisions, of trying
>creative ways to get what you want, or the value in waiting? If you dont
>have to earn your money, then what do you do? How do you get what you
>want when what you want costs money that you dont have? Yes, its a
>choice and a tradeoff you face. Im not sure I can see the connection
>between something like earning an A for reading. Thats a skill that is
>built and (IMHO) shouldnt be penalized, but satisfying a want comes under
>something different or so I think at this point. I am open to
>understanding otherwise. I just dont see the connection yet.
because I do all the family shopping and he really only has to cover himself.
Think about it this way: you are at a bookstore and your child asks for a
sticker book. You are buying a magazine and a bestseller. You tell him
no, he doesn't have enough money. What is he learning? To save his
money? Or that what you buy for yourself is more important? Do you really
take the time to explain that you didn't buy something the other day to be
able to buy the book? Or do you put the book back and buy his stickers?
I think putting the book back shows the "lesson" better, as well as showing
that you are really all in it together.
Kelly
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand. --Linus