Game-Enthusiast

My gosh I live a sheltered life. It isn't often that I am around mainstream
parents because I choose to mostly surround myself with people who support
what I do and parent in a similar fashion. But when I am, I am getting
worse and worse at keeping my mouth shut. <grin> Today we went to a family
gathering and I tried talking with my 15 yo niece in the presence of her
mother. (one of my sil's) Every time I asked her a question and she
answered me, her mother corrected her and told her what she *really* thinks
or *really* likes. She just rolled her eyes and said, "o.k. mom, your
right. that's what I think or like."

Somehow the conversation got turned to *what she wants to be when she grows
up.* I certainly didn't steer it that way. Heck, I still don't know what I
want to be when I grow up. <BG> I said, "Heck, she's got plenty of time to
figure that out. There are so many issues to consider" and I named a few,
like cost of college, what you would like to do for work, how much money
you'd like to make, availability of those jobs in the area you want to live,
what you enjoy doing, and just knowing what all your options are. Her
mother said, "Well she has to decide soon or I'm not going to pay for it!"
I told my niece that she can pick something and go to school on her mom's
dime and then if she decides some day that she hates what she chose she
won't be out any money and she can work at the grocery store or just pay
then to go to school for whatever she decides she loves. Her mother pretty
much told me to shut up. LOL!

Then we got onto the topic of sports and their cost. Their children are
very involved in sports and the mom way saying that she *has* to work in
order for them to play, but she was bemoaning the fact that she works so
much and doesn't get to spend much time with her kids. I asked her if she
thought her children would rather have her time or the money for all the
fancy sporting goods. She said, she definitely had to work so they could
play sports (the only other option she could see was to not work and have
the kids not play sports) and she told me how they all have to have matching
warm up suits, matching expensive sneakers, matching uniforms, etc. It
*was* a lot of money. What ever happened to getting a pair of shorts and a
tank top that gets handed down to next years class and doesn't cost hardly
anything if you return them at the end of the season? Why do the schools
make it cost so much to play? Just so you all look cool? She did say that
if some kids don't have the money, that they still get to play and that the
sneakers aren't really mandatory because a few kids do have different ones,
because the brand they picked doesn't fit them well. Do kids need to be so
much the same that they can't have different but cool sneakers? I was
really shocked by what appears to be mandatory to her.

I am so glad that so far my kids don't want to be part of that system. I
hope they never do. I would hope that even if they find a team sport they
want to participate in that we can find a way to do that away from the
school system and away from mainstream parenting. If I ever resort to
telling my kids what they think, I know they'll have the sense to slat me up
side the head, so I think I'm safe. <whew! glad I taught them to think on
their own.>

Angela
game-enthusiast@...




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