money and kids-long
Laura Johnson
I've got probably a sticky subject to bring up. But, here it goes.
We give our son, who is five, $5 a week allowance or whatever you want to call it. We just say spending money. He gets at this point a $1 per week for his age. No reason, it just worked out that way. It seems to be a good amount for him at this point. We want him to learn to budget and save for things he wants in a realistic way. He saves for big items and buys small things that he wants, he has control over what he buys and when. And has really learned the value of money and what is a good value and what will fall apart. He no longer buys impulsively at the dollar store, because it didn't last as long as other things. We only have one child, so we can give him this much. Dh and I both get a set amount to spend each week, (when we are on our budget, sometimes), so it is within the context of our family. He does not have to do chores or anything to get this money, it is his as being part of the family. He doesn't loose it as punishment or anything like that. Actually, if he still has not spent it by Sunday, he gets a $1 interest.
Now, we have friends who don't give their kids any money unless they earn it. And I mean they earn it. Cleaning out the cat box for 25 cents etc... doing things for a dime or nickel. They rarely can save for anything substantial. Well, today, we were shopping at Sam's and my friend's daughter wanted a book. (I always buy books whenever he wants them). She was told "you only have 92 cents left, you spent your money on beads." Then she tells me she saved for a month for that little bag of beads and was so proud when she finally earned enough for it. (this family does have a little money to spend, so that's not the issue, my friend buys stuff all the time, impulsively). Anyhow, Ben said, "how much do I have?" (he left his at home) I said "fifteen dollars". He chose not to buy anything and wanted to keep saving for a new Lego set that costs $40. Anyhow, it was an issue for my friend. She doesn't want her daughter to have money or want things, but of course she does. She thinks giving kids money makes them materialistic. I think kids need money just like everyone else and it helps them learn good money sense. My friend and her dh have terrible money issues themselves. It bothered her that Ben has so much money and her daughter didn't. I started giving him money when he was 2. She thought that was awful. Her daughter didn't understand why Ben had so much and got really upset in the store, "that's not fair". Then asking me why Ben got so much more than she did. I said ask your mom. My friend made a comment that I overheard something like "well, we don't just hand you money, like they do Ben, you have to learn that you must earn your money like everyone else by working really hard. You are going to learn lessons that he isn't learning". Hhmmmm. She does have major control issues to begin with. That's another story. I think I heard her once charge her daughter a fine for something she did. OH, and she's only 4.5.
When I was 12 or so, I was given $3 a week. They wouldn't give me more for an allowance, because it seemed wrong for me to get a bigger allowance. It was also tied to behavior or chores (another issue). Anyhow, I went skating every week. It costs $3 to get in. The skates were 50 cents and I needed pocket money for drinks and a snack. So, my parents ended up giving me more money when I asked, but I had to ask for it, or beg for it and maybe earn it if they felt like it. And I did other things during the week and got more here and there. Fast forward to the future, and there I have credit problems and they don't understand how. Duh, I got the sense that there was always more if I asked, begged, or manipulated to get it. If I had just been given enough to budget for the week, then I would have learned that I get a certain amount, and then it's gone. But, give me enough to work with. I babysat, but wasn't allowed to charge very much, because that would be wrong too. It took awhile for me to learn a need from a want. And my 5 year old has a sense of it already. Delayed gratification also.
So, we want him to learn to save for what he wants and to work with a budget. And, it helps with impulse items. Like the other day, we were in the store and he wanted me to buy him a water. I offered to take him to the fountain for a drink in a minute or two, when I was done with the deli. He said he wanted the water now and pointed to a machine selling it. I told him he was free to buy the water himself with his own money, or he could wait a minute and I would take him to the fountain and he could have it for free. He chose to wait. Most of the time, if he has to spend it out of his own pocket, he considers it carefully. Now, if he had to save and earn every cent for months, I could not ask him to buy a water for himself. He doesn't have to buy everything btw. But, it helps at the candy aisle. I tell him we have lots of candy at home, or he can buy something here with his own money. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. I think we are doing well with this. It is well thought out and I think makes the most sense. I have this issue with other friends. He gets more than most other kids we know. They think we are wrong.
Anyhow, from an unschooling parenting point of view, what do you all think about this issue? Sorry so long, I got chatty and had lots to say about this issue. Thanks for sticking with me to the bottom.
Laura
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We give our son, who is five, $5 a week allowance or whatever you want to call it. We just say spending money. He gets at this point a $1 per week for his age. No reason, it just worked out that way. It seems to be a good amount for him at this point. We want him to learn to budget and save for things he wants in a realistic way. He saves for big items and buys small things that he wants, he has control over what he buys and when. And has really learned the value of money and what is a good value and what will fall apart. He no longer buys impulsively at the dollar store, because it didn't last as long as other things. We only have one child, so we can give him this much. Dh and I both get a set amount to spend each week, (when we are on our budget, sometimes), so it is within the context of our family. He does not have to do chores or anything to get this money, it is his as being part of the family. He doesn't loose it as punishment or anything like that. Actually, if he still has not spent it by Sunday, he gets a $1 interest.
Now, we have friends who don't give their kids any money unless they earn it. And I mean they earn it. Cleaning out the cat box for 25 cents etc... doing things for a dime or nickel. They rarely can save for anything substantial. Well, today, we were shopping at Sam's and my friend's daughter wanted a book. (I always buy books whenever he wants them). She was told "you only have 92 cents left, you spent your money on beads." Then she tells me she saved for a month for that little bag of beads and was so proud when she finally earned enough for it. (this family does have a little money to spend, so that's not the issue, my friend buys stuff all the time, impulsively). Anyhow, Ben said, "how much do I have?" (he left his at home) I said "fifteen dollars". He chose not to buy anything and wanted to keep saving for a new Lego set that costs $40. Anyhow, it was an issue for my friend. She doesn't want her daughter to have money or want things, but of course she does. She thinks giving kids money makes them materialistic. I think kids need money just like everyone else and it helps them learn good money sense. My friend and her dh have terrible money issues themselves. It bothered her that Ben has so much money and her daughter didn't. I started giving him money when he was 2. She thought that was awful. Her daughter didn't understand why Ben had so much and got really upset in the store, "that's not fair". Then asking me why Ben got so much more than she did. I said ask your mom. My friend made a comment that I overheard something like "well, we don't just hand you money, like they do Ben, you have to learn that you must earn your money like everyone else by working really hard. You are going to learn lessons that he isn't learning". Hhmmmm. She does have major control issues to begin with. That's another story. I think I heard her once charge her daughter a fine for something she did. OH, and she's only 4.5.
When I was 12 or so, I was given $3 a week. They wouldn't give me more for an allowance, because it seemed wrong for me to get a bigger allowance. It was also tied to behavior or chores (another issue). Anyhow, I went skating every week. It costs $3 to get in. The skates were 50 cents and I needed pocket money for drinks and a snack. So, my parents ended up giving me more money when I asked, but I had to ask for it, or beg for it and maybe earn it if they felt like it. And I did other things during the week and got more here and there. Fast forward to the future, and there I have credit problems and they don't understand how. Duh, I got the sense that there was always more if I asked, begged, or manipulated to get it. If I had just been given enough to budget for the week, then I would have learned that I get a certain amount, and then it's gone. But, give me enough to work with. I babysat, but wasn't allowed to charge very much, because that would be wrong too. It took awhile for me to learn a need from a want. And my 5 year old has a sense of it already. Delayed gratification also.
So, we want him to learn to save for what he wants and to work with a budget. And, it helps with impulse items. Like the other day, we were in the store and he wanted me to buy him a water. I offered to take him to the fountain for a drink in a minute or two, when I was done with the deli. He said he wanted the water now and pointed to a machine selling it. I told him he was free to buy the water himself with his own money, or he could wait a minute and I would take him to the fountain and he could have it for free. He chose to wait. Most of the time, if he has to spend it out of his own pocket, he considers it carefully. Now, if he had to save and earn every cent for months, I could not ask him to buy a water for himself. He doesn't have to buy everything btw. But, it helps at the candy aisle. I tell him we have lots of candy at home, or he can buy something here with his own money. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. I think we are doing well with this. It is well thought out and I think makes the most sense. I have this issue with other friends. He gets more than most other kids we know. They think we are wrong.
Anyhow, from an unschooling parenting point of view, what do you all think about this issue? Sorry so long, I got chatty and had lots to say about this issue. Thanks for sticking with me to the bottom.
Laura
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pam sorooshian
I don't think you have any problem happening, Laura. Sounds like you
have a good situation that is working well for you. Don't worry about
what works for others or what they think of your way of living. My kids
are teenagers, but sounds like we do what you do. Never occurred to me
to start it when the kids were as young as yours - and I understand
that to other people it seems like a lot of money, but what we try to
do is give them as much as we can realistically afford and it sounds
like that is what you're doing, too. I agree with not making kids have
to wheedle and beg and stuff - it is humiliating and teaches a very
hard-to-unlearn lesson.
-pam
have a good situation that is working well for you. Don't worry about
what works for others or what they think of your way of living. My kids
are teenagers, but sounds like we do what you do. Never occurred to me
to start it when the kids were as young as yours - and I understand
that to other people it seems like a lot of money, but what we try to
do is give them as much as we can realistically afford and it sounds
like that is what you're doing, too. I agree with not making kids have
to wheedle and beg and stuff - it is humiliating and teaches a very
hard-to-unlearn lesson.
-pam
On Sep 2, 2004, at 8:51 PM, Laura Johnson wrote:
> Anyhow, from an unschooling parenting point of view, what do you all
> think about this issue? Sorry so long, I got chatty and had lots to
> say about this issue. Thanks for sticking with me to the bottom.
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
Game-Enthusiast
I agree with Pam that it sounds like you have a plan and it's working well
for you. I can understand why it's hard for your friend to understand where
you are coming from but really the issue is hers and not yours. Have you
explained to her how you feel about money and allowances? Maybe she's just
never thought of it in the way you have. Maybe upon considering it, she
might relax her view.
These unschooling lists have helped me to relax a little more about money
with the kids. I've given them an unconditional allowance for a long time
but I was way more uptight on saying yes to a candy bar or other small item
if they weren't willing to spend their allowance on it. I think I had an
idea in my head that if I impulsively bought them too much that they would
become ask for stuff endlessly and not appreciate it. I now say yes way
more often if it's a reasonable request and isn't going to break the bank.
They do ask a little more for small things, but probably at first, just to
see if I'll say yes. It's so nice to see their faces light up when I say
yes. They've also understood when I've said no, we've really already spent
too much this week and it's really adding up.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
for you. I can understand why it's hard for your friend to understand where
you are coming from but really the issue is hers and not yours. Have you
explained to her how you feel about money and allowances? Maybe she's just
never thought of it in the way you have. Maybe upon considering it, she
might relax her view.
These unschooling lists have helped me to relax a little more about money
with the kids. I've given them an unconditional allowance for a long time
but I was way more uptight on saying yes to a candy bar or other small item
if they weren't willing to spend their allowance on it. I think I had an
idea in my head that if I impulsively bought them too much that they would
become ask for stuff endlessly and not appreciate it. I now say yes way
more often if it's a reasonable request and isn't going to break the bank.
They do ask a little more for small things, but probably at first, just to
see if I'll say yes. It's so nice to see their faces light up when I say
yes. They've also understood when I've said no, we've really already spent
too much this week and it's really adding up.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mamaaj2000
Laura, it sounds great. Seems like the only problem you have is
shopping with your friend. And it seems like that's her problem,
anyway. My ds (almost 4) is getting $5/wk and for a few weeks he
didn't care about buying anything. For the last week, he's been
constantly talking about what he wants to buy. I'm trying to relax
and just let him have the experience of "shopping" in catalogs and
stores. Hard for my goal oriented self, but I'm breathing!
--aj
shopping with your friend. And it seems like that's her problem,
anyway. My ds (almost 4) is getting $5/wk and for a few weeks he
didn't care about buying anything. For the last week, he's been
constantly talking about what he wants to buy. I'm trying to relax
and just let him have the experience of "shopping" in catalogs and
stores. Hard for my goal oriented self, but I'm breathing!
--aj
J. Stauffer
<<<<<So, my parents ended up giving me more money when I asked, but I had to
ask for it, or beg for it and maybe earn it if they felt like it. And I did
other things during the week and got more here and there. Fast forward to
the future, and there I have credit problems and they don't understand how.
Duh, I got the sense that there was always more if I asked, begged, or
manipulated to get it. If I had just been given enough to budget for the
week, then I would have learned that I get a certain amount, and then it's
gone. >>>>>
Since you asked.......<grin>,
If you currently know enough about finances to work with your son in a
responsible manner, I don't think it is fair to blame your current financial
problems on "how you were raised."
Just my .02
Julie S.
ask for it, or beg for it and maybe earn it if they felt like it. And I did
other things during the week and got more here and there. Fast forward to
the future, and there I have credit problems and they don't understand how.
Duh, I got the sense that there was always more if I asked, begged, or
manipulated to get it. If I had just been given enough to budget for the
week, then I would have learned that I get a certain amount, and then it's
gone. >>>>>
Since you asked.......<grin>,
If you currently know enough about finances to work with your son in a
responsible manner, I don't think it is fair to blame your current financial
problems on "how you were raised."
Just my .02
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Laura Johnson" <lauraj2@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, September 02, 2004 10:51 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] money and kids-long
>
> I've got probably a sticky subject to bring up. But, here it goes.
>
> We give our son, who is five, $5 a week allowance or whatever you want to
call it. We just say spending money. He gets at this point a $1 per week
for his age. No reason, it just worked out that way. It seems to be a good
amount for him at this point. We want him to learn to budget and save for
things he wants in a realistic way. He saves for big items and buys small
things that he wants, he has control over what he buys and when. And has
really learned the value of money and what is a good value and what will
fall apart. He no longer buys impulsively at the dollar store, because it
didn't last as long as other things. We only have one child, so we can give
him this much. Dh and I both get a set amount to spend each week, (when we
are on our budget, sometimes), so it is within the context of our family.
He does not have to do chores or anything to get this money, it is his as
being part of the family. He doesn't loose it as punishment or anything
like that. Actually, if
>
> Now, we have friends who don't give their kids any money unless they earn
it. And I mean they earn it. Cleaning out the cat box for 25 cents etc...
doing things for a dime or nickel. They rarely can save for anything
substantial. Well, today, we were shopping at Sam's and my friend's
daughter wanted a book. (I always buy books whenever he wants them). She
was told "you only have 92 cents left, you spent your money on beads." Then
she tells me she saved for a month for that little bag of beads and was so
proud when she finally earned enough for it. (this family does have a
little money to spend, so that's not the issue, my friend buys stuff all the
time, impulsively). Anyhow, Ben said, "how much do I have?" (he left his
at home) I said "fifteen dollars". He chose not to buy anything and wanted
to keep saving for a new Lego set that costs $40. Anyhow, it was an issue
for my friend. She doesn't want her daughter to have money or want things,
but of course she does. She th
>
> When I was 12 or so, I was given $3 a week. They wouldn't give me more
for an allowance, because it seemed wrong for me to get a bigger allowance.
It was also tied to behavior or chores (another issue). Anyhow, I went
skating every week. It costs $3 to get in. The skates were 50 cents and I
needed pocket money for drinks and a snack. So, my parents ended up giving
me more money when I asked, but I had to ask for it, or beg for it and maybe
earn it if they felt like it. And I did other things during the week and
got more here and there. Fast forward to the future, and there I have
credit problems and they don't understand how. Duh, I got the sense that
there was always more if I asked, begged, or manipulated to get it. If I
had just been given enough to budget for the week, then I would have learned
that I get a certain amount, and then it's gone. But, give me enough to
work with. I babysat, but wasn't allowed to charge very much, because that
would be wrong too. It took
>
> So, we want him to learn to save for what he wants and to work with a
budget. And, it helps with impulse items. Like the other day, we were in
the store and he wanted me to buy him a water. I offered to take him to the
fountain for a drink in a minute or two, when I was done with the deli. He
said he wanted the water now and pointed to a machine selling it. I told
him he was free to buy the water himself with his own money, or he could
wait a minute and I would take him to the fountain and he could have it for
free. He chose to wait. Most of the time, if he has to spend it out of his
own pocket, he considers it carefully. Now, if he had to save and earn
every cent for months, I could not ask him to buy a water for himself. He
doesn't have to buy everything btw. But, it helps at the candy aisle. I
tell him we have lots of candy at home, or he can buy something here with
his own money. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. I think we are
doing well with this. It is wel
>
> Anyhow, from an unschooling parenting point of view, what do you all think
about this issue? Sorry so long, I got chatty and had lots to say about
this issue. Thanks for sticking with me to the bottom.
> Laura
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
catherine aceto
It's basically what we do ($6/week for our 6yo - her line item for discretionary spending on the family budget). We don't do chores - money isn't linked to anything. We haven't yet started paying her interest, but have been talking about the best way to do that.
It works great - she can walk into a toystore with $20 in her pocket and walk right out if they don't have anything that she wants.
-Cat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It works great - she can walk into a toystore with $20 in her pocket and walk right out if they don't have anything that she wants.
-Cat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
J. Stauffer
<<<<< It works great - she can walk into a toystore with $20 in her pocket
and walk right out if they don't have anything that she wants. >>>>>
I personally think temperament has a lot to do with this. We have 5 kids,
give them as much money as we can afford, don't tie it to anything and they
are completely in charge of it.
Two of the kids always have money, only buy things they truly want. Two
other kids spend some immediately and are able to save a bit for things they
really want but are still out of money by the end of the month. One son
immediately spends every penny and he doesn't particularly care on what.
All of them have been raised within the same "spending money system."
Julie S.
and walk right out if they don't have anything that she wants. >>>>>
I personally think temperament has a lot to do with this. We have 5 kids,
give them as much money as we can afford, don't tie it to anything and they
are completely in charge of it.
Two of the kids always have money, only buy things they truly want. Two
other kids spend some immediately and are able to save a bit for things they
really want but are still out of money by the end of the month. One son
immediately spends every penny and he doesn't particularly care on what.
All of them have been raised within the same "spending money system."
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "catherine aceto" <aceto3@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, September 03, 2004 8:03 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] money and kids-long
> It's basically what we do ($6/week for our 6yo - her line item for
discretionary spending on the family budget). We don't do chores - money
isn't linked to anything. We haven't yet started paying her interest, but
have been talking about the best way to do that.
>
> It works great - she can walk into a toystore with $20 in her pocket and
walk right out if they don't have anything that she wants.
>
> -Cat
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
Have a Nice Day!
<<<<< It works great - she can walk into a toystore with $20 in her pocket
and walk right out if they don't have anything that she wants. >>>>>
I personally think temperament has a lot to do with this. We have 5 kids,
give them as much money as we can afford, don't tie it to anything and they
are completely in charge of it.
Two of the kids always have money, only buy things they truly want. Two
other kids spend some immediately and are able to save a bit for things they
really want but are still out of money by the end of the month. One son
immediately spends every penny and he doesn't particularly care on what.
All of them have been raised within the same "spending money system."
Julie S.
I totally agree with you. I have had exactly the same experience and I think "temperment" applies to a lot of things with kids' choices in general, not just money.
Its easy to try and say its because we did such and such that our child is the way she is, and "they" did this or that which is why their child is the way she is.
But honestly? Kids choose to do things for a whole miriad of reasons of their own that may have absolutely nothing to do with us as their mindful parents.
Kristen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
and walk right out if they don't have anything that she wants. >>>>>
I personally think temperament has a lot to do with this. We have 5 kids,
give them as much money as we can afford, don't tie it to anything and they
are completely in charge of it.
Two of the kids always have money, only buy things they truly want. Two
other kids spend some immediately and are able to save a bit for things they
really want but are still out of money by the end of the month. One son
immediately spends every penny and he doesn't particularly care on what.
All of them have been raised within the same "spending money system."
Julie S.
I totally agree with you. I have had exactly the same experience and I think "temperment" applies to a lot of things with kids' choices in general, not just money.
Its easy to try and say its because we did such and such that our child is the way she is, and "they" did this or that which is why their child is the way she is.
But honestly? Kids choose to do things for a whole miriad of reasons of their own that may have absolutely nothing to do with us as their mindful parents.
Kristen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pam sorooshian
On Sep 3, 2004, at 4:33 AM, Game-Enthusiast wrote:
"gift." They have enough money to buy their own clothes, for example,
they don't need me to buy anything at all for them to wear, anymore. I
don't have to dole out money, make a decision every time one of them
sees something "cool" that they want to buy. But, once in a while I
just take one of them shopping to buy something new and I pay. And they
thank me and I feel really appreciated and that's so nice and so
different from the way I see so many teenage girl/mother relationships
about clothing. And, when they buy clothing I think is overpriced and
junky, I don't even really give it more than a momentary passing
thought - it is their money, their clothes, their decision. And, truth
is, they DO make some goofy (from my perspective) decisions once in a
while - they buy flimsy poorly made stuff that is not wearable after
being washed once or, more commonly, they buy things that they thought
they loved, but aren't very comfortable to wear, and they just hang in
their closet. I remember doing that, too. I remember convincing my
mother to buy me a wool skirt even though I'm TERRIBLY allergic to wool
- but plaid wool skirts were so popular and I just HAD to have one <G>.
I tortured myself trying to wear it, because I was embarrassed to tell
my mother I'd have hives all over my stomach and I'd be miserable
wearing it. My girls can buy it, they don't have to convince me, and
they can just give it away when it turns out to be uncomfortable and
they can laugh and say, "Woops, that was a big mistake." They are much
more savvy shoppers and more careful than I ever was about what they
buy. Even though they sometimes do have to learn "the hard way," their
focus is all on getting the most value for their money, not on getting
the most money from mom and dad. They also really have learned to love
thrift stores - they'd RATHER buy from thrift stores than new - partly
because they know the clothes aren't going to shrink or shrivel up the
first time they're washed <G>.
-pam
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
> It's so nice to see their faces light up when I sayI like being able to buy something for my girls and have it be a
> yes.
"gift." They have enough money to buy their own clothes, for example,
they don't need me to buy anything at all for them to wear, anymore. I
don't have to dole out money, make a decision every time one of them
sees something "cool" that they want to buy. But, once in a while I
just take one of them shopping to buy something new and I pay. And they
thank me and I feel really appreciated and that's so nice and so
different from the way I see so many teenage girl/mother relationships
about clothing. And, when they buy clothing I think is overpriced and
junky, I don't even really give it more than a momentary passing
thought - it is their money, their clothes, their decision. And, truth
is, they DO make some goofy (from my perspective) decisions once in a
while - they buy flimsy poorly made stuff that is not wearable after
being washed once or, more commonly, they buy things that they thought
they loved, but aren't very comfortable to wear, and they just hang in
their closet. I remember doing that, too. I remember convincing my
mother to buy me a wool skirt even though I'm TERRIBLY allergic to wool
- but plaid wool skirts were so popular and I just HAD to have one <G>.
I tortured myself trying to wear it, because I was embarrassed to tell
my mother I'd have hives all over my stomach and I'd be miserable
wearing it. My girls can buy it, they don't have to convince me, and
they can just give it away when it turns out to be uncomfortable and
they can laugh and say, "Woops, that was a big mistake." They are much
more savvy shoppers and more careful than I ever was about what they
buy. Even though they sometimes do have to learn "the hard way," their
focus is all on getting the most value for their money, not on getting
the most money from mom and dad. They also really have learned to love
thrift stores - they'd RATHER buy from thrift stores than new - partly
because they know the clothes aren't going to shrink or shrivel up the
first time they're washed <G>.
-pam
>National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
J. Stauffer
<< Its easy to try and say its because we did such and such that our child
is the way she is, and "they" did this or that which is why their child is
the way she is.
along with, calm....I took her to business meetings with me regularly. I
was sure that we were the perfect parents and if other people would just
follow our lead, they too could have "perfect" children.
Then we got Zach (11). He has been hell on wheels since he was born.....we
are still trying to recover.
Pride before the fall and all that <grin>.
Julie S.
is the way she is, and "they" did this or that which is why their child is
the way she is.
>>Absolutely. When Adriane (13) was little, she was very quiet, easy to get
along with, calm....I took her to business meetings with me regularly. I
was sure that we were the perfect parents and if other people would just
follow our lead, they too could have "perfect" children.
Then we got Zach (11). He has been hell on wheels since he was born.....we
are still trying to recover.
Pride before the fall and all that <grin>.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Have a Nice Day!" <litlrooh@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, September 03, 2004 11:08 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] money and kids-long
> <<<<< It works great - she can walk into a toystore with $20 in her pocket
> and walk right out if they don't have anything that she wants. >>>>>
>
> I personally think temperament has a lot to do with this. We have 5 kids,
> give them as much money as we can afford, don't tie it to anything and
they
> are completely in charge of it.
>
> Two of the kids always have money, only buy things they truly want. Two
> other kids spend some immediately and are able to save a bit for things
they
> really want but are still out of money by the end of the month. One son
> immediately spends every penny and he doesn't particularly care on what.
>
> All of them have been raised within the same "spending money system."
>
> Julie S.
>
> I totally agree with you. I have had exactly the same experience and I
think "temperment" applies to a lot of things with kids' choices in general,
not just money.
>
> Its easy to try and say its because we did such and such that our child is
the way she is, and "they" did this or that which is why their child is the
way she is.
>
> But honestly? Kids choose to do things for a whole miriad of reasons of
their own that may have absolutely nothing to do with us as their mindful
parents.
>
> Kristen
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
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