Hey...this is working! was: Why isn't this working?!
Andrea Burlingame
Just wanted to say thanks for all the suggestions and insight. There was so much good thoughtful information for me to mull over that I couldn't respond to it all--my household is just too busy, and some nights, the baby nixes my computer time. Anyway thank you!
I also wanted to report that things are going better. I'm making some internal changes that feel really good and the kids are responding to them I think. I've also put some good advice into practice, like not asking if they want other food too, just putting the platter out there. I used to do this occasionally, but now I'm doing it mindfully, knowing that it makes a difference in our interaction.
My 10 year old stepdaughter is with me again (she comes and goes) and she has her 13 yo best friend with her. Last night my 4 yo asked for cookies and milk. Of course the whole gang chimed in, "Me too!" I gave everyone a plate of 3 chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk. Then I put the bag on the counter where even the little ones could reach and said to all, "If you want more their on the counter." Predictably, my 4 yo wanted more. She asked. I smiled at her and said, "They're on the counter. I'll bet other people will want more too. They are yummy!" She took two more and stopped.
Later, 4 yo asked for pretzels. I said, sure, I'll get some out for everyone. I made a platter of pretzels, crackers, cheese, peeled and sliced pears and almonds. All that was left were pretzels and a few crackers. No stress. Everyone happy. The older girls put on some dance music at my suggestion and everyone had a great time until they were sleepy.
Nice night.
~Andrea
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I also wanted to report that things are going better. I'm making some internal changes that feel really good and the kids are responding to them I think. I've also put some good advice into practice, like not asking if they want other food too, just putting the platter out there. I used to do this occasionally, but now I'm doing it mindfully, knowing that it makes a difference in our interaction.
My 10 year old stepdaughter is with me again (she comes and goes) and she has her 13 yo best friend with her. Last night my 4 yo asked for cookies and milk. Of course the whole gang chimed in, "Me too!" I gave everyone a plate of 3 chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk. Then I put the bag on the counter where even the little ones could reach and said to all, "If you want more their on the counter." Predictably, my 4 yo wanted more. She asked. I smiled at her and said, "They're on the counter. I'll bet other people will want more too. They are yummy!" She took two more and stopped.
Later, 4 yo asked for pretzels. I said, sure, I'll get some out for everyone. I made a platter of pretzels, crackers, cheese, peeled and sliced pears and almonds. All that was left were pretzels and a few crackers. No stress. Everyone happy. The older girls put on some dance music at my suggestion and everyone had a great time until they were sleepy.
Nice night.
~Andrea
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Have a Nice Day!
I'm so glad things went so well!!! Sounds wonderful!
Kristen
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Andrea Burlingame
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, August 24, 2004 9:24 AM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Hey...this is working! <g> was: Why isn't this working?!
Just wanted to say thanks for all the suggestions and insight. There was so much good thoughtful information for me to mull over that I couldn't respond to it all--my household is just too busy, and some nights, the baby nixes my computer time. Anyway thank you!
I also wanted to report that things are going better. I'm making some internal changes that feel really good and the kids are responding to them I think. I've also put some good advice into practice, like not asking if they want other food too, just putting the platter out there. I used to do this occasionally, but now I'm doing it mindfully, knowing that it makes a difference in our interaction.
My 10 year old stepdaughter is with me again (she comes and goes) and she has her 13 yo best friend with her. Last night my 4 yo asked for cookies and milk. Of course the whole gang chimed in, "Me too!" I gave everyone a plate of 3 chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk. Then I put the bag on the counter where even the little ones could reach and said to all, "If you want more their on the counter." Predictably, my 4 yo wanted more. She asked. I smiled at her and said, "They're on the counter. I'll bet other people will want more too. They are yummy!" She took two more and stopped.
Later, 4 yo asked for pretzels. I said, sure, I'll get some out for everyone. I made a platter of pretzels, crackers, cheese, peeled and sliced pears and almonds. All that was left were pretzels and a few crackers. No stress. Everyone happy. The older girls put on some dance music at my suggestion and everyone had a great time until they were sleepy.
Nice night.
~Andrea
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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pam sorooshian
Very nice, Andrea. Just sounded so calm and natural and easy.
-pam
-pam
On Aug 24, 2004, at 3:39 PM, Have a Nice Day! wrote:
> Later, 4 yo asked for pretzels. I said, sure, I'll get some out for
> everyone. I made a platter of pretzels, crackers, cheese, peeled and
> sliced pears and almonds. All that was left were pretzels and a few
> crackers. No stress. Everyone happy. The older girls put on some
> dance music at my suggestion and everyone had a great time until they
> were sleepy.
>
> Nice night.
>
> ~Andrea
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