Andrea Burlingame

Betsy said:

==I've had to shift this to non-toy items, too. My kid used to LOVE to pull
every Kleenex out of the box (this was big at about 18 mos.). It felt so
wasteful to me. And then I thought, "If this were a CRAFT project, that cost
99 cents and got this much joy and mileage, I would be THRILLED." So, we go
through a lot of toiletries and Dawn dish soap for making bubbles. It's not
waste, it *is* value!==


I *finally* got this about transparent tape. My kids love the stuff and I
used to cringe and suggest they save some for another potential craft
project or whatever. But since I've been reading this list, I've been
questioning all my "no's " and becoming more aware of the way I try to
control things, so I questioned why it was so bad for them to use up the
tape and came to the conclusion that it's not. The dollar store sells it
cheap, and they are endlessly entertained--Spent 5 bucks, give them 4 rolls,
put aside one for myself and have one less thing to monitor/worry about!.
DUH!

~Andrea

Danielle Conger

I *finally* got this about transparent tape. My kids love the stuff and I
used to cringe and suggest they save some for another potential craft
project or whatever. But since I've been reading this list, I've been
questioning all my "no's " and becoming more aware of the way I try to
control things, so I questioned why it was so bad for them to use up the
tape and came to the conclusion that it's not. The dollar store sells it
cheap, and they are endlessly entertained--Spent 5 bucks, give them 4 rolls,
put aside one for myself and have one less thing to monitor/worry about!.
DUH!

~Andrea
===============


Oh, this is so it! Good for you, Andrea!

Jennefer--this is exactly how unschooling happens. More, more, more
moments like this and before you know it, you're unschooling like all
these experienced folks with older kids. At least, that's how I think it
happens. ;) Focus on more moments like this in your home. When you say
"no," ask yourself "why no?" No's are a very vague thing that tend to be
much more about the parent than the child. Instead of saying no, try to
identify *specifically* what *you're* concern is. For example, instead
of saying "no," say "I'm concerned that x might happen." Then your child
has specific information to make a decision.

This applies even with little children and something as basic as
crossing a street or parking lot safely. My youngest *never* wanted to
hold my hand. I've had to revamp, become very creative and minimize
controls with him in ways I never had to worry about with my first two.
With Sam, I would tell him that my biggest job was to keep him safe and
holding his hand let me know he was safe, but if he could let me know he
was safe in another way that would be okay, too. He has been walking by
my side within grabbing distance and eye shot for at least 2 years--he's
4 now.

I was thinking about that through the whole back and forth over age
appropriateness. My kids have always seemed quite capable even at the
age of 2. In fact, it always surprises me when I look back at pictures
and think, my goodness they look like such babies, because I never
remember thinking of them that way. They were always people to
me--people who needed my help to enable them to problem solve in a big
world. Most of the stuff they couldn't do or couldn't get I always
figured was because the world wasn't the right size, not that they
weren't old enough. I can remember imagining what it would be like if I
walked around in a world where everything was at least two times too big
for me, too high, too heavy. Kind of like Jack in the Giant's world, you
know? Probably, for me, it was reading Montessori, but I can remember
back in college when I worked in the World Bank Daycare Center, and my
favorite room to work in was the 2's because they were so incredibly
amazing (and with much less attitude than the 5s and 6s!). With the 2s
you could show them something one time and they picked it up; it was
just new to them. Kind of like having a visitor from another country:
I'm just the ambassador and facilitator--they're not stupid or
incapable. I'm not saying anyone here thinks young kids are stupid or
incapable, but there are lots of folks out in the world who seem to
treat them that way and make money by perpetuating that idea.

I'm rambling again.

--Danielle

http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.htm.

>
>

Mark Shields

I do this with tape too. My son goes through tons, so I buy it at Costco
and everyone's happy. He'll do this will string too. I jut bought him a
50 cent ball of string and it's all over the house!
Kristin

-----Original Message-----
From: Andrea Burlingame [SMTP:aburlingame@...]

I *finally* got this about transparent tape. My kids love the stuff and I
used to cringe and suggest they save some for another potential craft
project or whatever. But since I've been reading this list, I've been
questioning all my "no's " and becoming more aware of the way I try to
control things, so I questioned why it was so bad for them to use up the
tape and came to the conclusion that it's not. The dollar store sells it
cheap, and they are endlessly entertained--Spent 5 bucks, give them 4
rolls,
put aside one for myself and have one less thing to monitor/worry about!.
DUH!

~Andrea

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/18/2004 3:10:09 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
aburlingame@... writes:

> I *finally* got this about transparent tape. My kids love the stuff and I
> used to cringe and suggest they save some for another potential craft
> project or whatever. But since I've been reading this list, I've been
> questioning all my "no's " and becoming more aware of the way I try to
> control things, so I questioned why it was so bad for them to use up the
> tape and came to the conclusion that it's not. The dollar store sells it
> cheap, and they are endlessly entertained--Spent 5 bucks, give them 4 rolls,
> put aside one for myself and have one less thing to monitor/worry about!.
> DUH!
>

LOL Me too! It is really hard to get out of that mind-set of "wastefullness".
My mother is REALLY big on that... I try to compromise with myself by going
to all the sales this time of year and getting bunches of everything we'll
probably need for the next year at the super-low sales prices. We got 6 rolls of
transparent tape (800 yards each!!) for 29 cents a roll (one for me, the rest
for him), spiral bound notebooks of 70 sheet lined paper for 19 cents each (5
for each of us), pocket folders for ... I think 7 cents each-THAT was a big
one, this year, since Wyl draws so much and writes some, and we just don't have
enough space to hang everything (since he never wants to take any of the old
down), so we now have pocket folders to make "art portfolios" out of-a pack of
10 pencils for 39 cents, and a couple packages of Crayola 24 pack crayons for
39 cents each. So, I feel much more relaxed about the constant usage of
everything, and he gets to feel free with his creativity. We also have an endless (?)
supply of paper, since my mom gets scrap printer paper from her work and we
also have a huge roll of blank newsprint paper that we can get refilled for
free whenever its empty-we just take it to our local newspaper, and they fill it
up again! He's big into skeletons and bats, lately-and getting pretty good
with scrap paper, celophane tape and crayons!!

Peace,
Sang


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Nisha

--- In [email protected], Sanguinegirl83@a...
wrote:
> LOL Me too! It is really hard to get out of that mind-set
of "wastefullness".
> My mother is REALLY big on that... I try to compromise with myself
by going
> to all the sales this time of year and getting bunches of
everything we'll
> probably need for the next year at the super-low sales prices.



I have a mom like that too. More food than stuff... I got the Poor
starving children in africa talk a lot when I was small, and then she
switched to the that is what is making you fat talks by the time I
was 12 or 13 and would really try to limit my food. I used to dig for
change in the car and the couch so I could get "junk" at school.
I was 5 ft 6 inches and weigh less than 120 pounds by the time I was
14. I had a helluva time finding bras, since I was a 32 DD. You had
to special order those. I have some major food and wastefulness
issues, and I'm really trying not to pass them on to my kids. But
it's really, really hard to stop those tendencies when they were
drummed into you from a very early age.
Nisha

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/21/2004 7:53:59 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
nishamartin@... writes:

> I have a mom like that too. More food than stuff... I got the Poor
> starving children in africa talk a lot when I was small

Yep, yep! Right with you, there! My dad also had a saying, "You don't get the
delicious if you don't eat the nutritious"-which seemed rediculous to me as a
kid at the time-what was the point of overstuffing yourself with dinner just
so you could get that reward of the sweet at the end? But my opinions as a
child were not valid, and I knew it, so I kept my opinion to myself and stuffed
away. My max weight as a 5' 11" adult was 335lbs. It took my husband telling me
for YEARS that I didn't have to finish something (ESPECIALLY at a
restaruant-where I'd paid "good money" for the food on my plate) for me to really get it.
I've also realised as an adult that my parents' attitude also put far more
value on the "sweet" than it should-and I still haven't gotten over that, yet.
I find it really easy to avoid the "starving children" aspect with Wyl. Its
almost a rebellion thing-I get a HUGE thrill out of saying, "You're done with
your meal-you just don't want any more? Well, that's fine. Yes, you can have
some cookies." My parents looked stunned at me, exchange "the look" with each
other, and get that whole attitude that I'm ruining a perfectly good boy. And
I'm smug in my assurance that I'm helping him to learn how to make his own
choices and be a great man, someday! :~) He will often walk away from the table for
20 minutes or so, anyway, and be hungry again, and come back and eat the rest
of his meal-no questions asked, no begging for more cookies. He's hungry and
the food was good, so he eats it. I'm afraid, though, that I do pass along
some of that "extra value" on the sweets to him, though.... Hopefully, as I come
to terms with this, my input will lessen, and since he most likely won't have
the food issues I did/do (cleaning the plate or be selfish and wasteful),
maybe the sweet won't hold as high a value for him-and maybe he'll be able to get
through it easier. We can work on it and hope. Very hard, indeed.

Peace,
Sang


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

soggyboysmom

--- In [email protected], Sanguinegirl83@a...
wrote:
> In a message dated 8/18/2004 3:10:09 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
> aburlingame@c... writes:
>
> > I *finally* got this about transparent tape.

Had to chuckle lol at this - we've been playing word games with DS
lately. We were in VoldeMart (lol) and the sign said "Invisible
tape" and lo and behold it was all gone. I asked DS if he wanted
some Invisible tape and handed him an invisible roll of tape. We've
gotten a lot of mileage from playing with that one (he realizes that
it is called that because it "camouflages" itself onto whatever you
put it on.

Wish I knew how to post a picture here - I've got a shot of DS at
about 3 1/2 happily winding the whole house in a ball of red yarn
right after we moved in - the stair railings, door knobs, furniture,
around the hallway, etc. (the kitchen/dining room, hallway, living
room form a circle to go round and round from hallway to kitchen to
livingroom to hallway).

Game-Enthusiast

- I've got a shot of DS at
about 3 1/2 happily winding the whole house in a ball of red yarn
right after we moved in - the stair railings, door knobs, furniture,
around the hallway, etc. (the kitchen/dining room, hallway, living
room form a circle to go round and round from hallway to kitchen to
livingroom to hallway).


--------------------------------------------------

That's a party game we do at every birthday. We call it spider web and wrap
yarn all over the house like a big spider web with a gift tied at the end of
each string. (one for each kid) The kids start at the beginning of their
string and work their way to the end and to the gift. Everyone always seems
to enjoy it and everyone gets a prize. The prizes are always hidden at the
end of the string in a drawer or something.

Angela
game-enthusiast@...




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]