Annette Naake

Someone wrote...
Most mothers who work outside the
home have convinced themselves that 15 minutes of quality time is sufficient
so that they can pursue their own desires. And I do have to include the
dads in this diatribe! They are just as much at blame for allowing their
kids to be raised by someone else.<SNIP>

I am so steamed. What a generalization! "Most mothers... so they can pursue
their own desires"!? Many people do choose to work or have to work (this is
impossible to judge since everyone has different standards about what is
necessary) and look long and hard for reliable and loving day care, whether
it's someone in the home or an outside provider. Such a thing is possible; I
have seen it, and I have seen well-adjusted and happy families and kids in
that situation. Not always happy, of course, but who is, and of course, if
you have a counseling practice, you are going to see the more dysfunctional
families.

If we want to go back to being hunter-gatherers, the whole family was there
all the time, ie grandma, grandpa, aunts and uncles, and yes, mom AND dad.
Think of how we are depriving our children, then, by denying them the
constant presence of an extended family numbering in the dozens. How on
earth does our emotional health stand it?

Seriously, life is a balance. Sometimes, parents' needs do take precedence
over those of the children. (I do NOT feel guilty about a night out with my
husband, except that I know the sitter will be a limp rag by the time we get
home..!) Mostly, the children do come first, especially when they're little.
But you can't make blanket judgments about other people's unique situations.
Well, you could, but you'd be wrong.

Annette






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