A 5 year old...
Latoya
I'm considering unschooling after this year, however, even in our
after school activities I find it very trying for me to just let my
daughter decide what she's going to do. I love the idea, however,
maybe I'm missing something. If she starts something I would like for
her to finish the project - especially if it was her idea to do in
the first place. Should I make her finish it and attempt to make it
more interesting? or just let her move on and maybe she'll come back
to it? I'm finding this to be very challenging and don't want to
become worse over time in giving her her space to see and learn
things on her own.
Any specific suggestions? Also, any one unschooling in the Tampa,
Florida area?
Latoya
after school activities I find it very trying for me to just let my
daughter decide what she's going to do. I love the idea, however,
maybe I'm missing something. If she starts something I would like for
her to finish the project - especially if it was her idea to do in
the first place. Should I make her finish it and attempt to make it
more interesting? or just let her move on and maybe she'll come back
to it? I'm finding this to be very challenging and don't want to
become worse over time in giving her her space to see and learn
things on her own.
Any specific suggestions? Also, any one unschooling in the Tampa,
Florida area?
Latoya
Robyn Coburn
<<<I'm considering unschooling after this year, however, even in our
after school activities I find it very trying for me to just let my
daughter decide what she's going to do. I love the idea, however,
maybe I'm missing something. If she starts something I would like for
her to finish the project - especially if it was her idea to do in
the first place. Should I make her finish it and attempt to make it
more interesting? or just let her move on and maybe she'll come back
to it? I'm finding this to be very challenging and don't want to
become worse over time in giving her her space to see and learn
things on her own.>>>
The longer you take to start unschooling, the longer you will be deschooling
before the joy and fun and exploration can really start up.
The most likely result of forcing someone unwilling to finish what they
start is that they will stop being willing to start things. The most likely
result of forcing someone to stay in an activity after they want to stop is
that they will stop wanting to join activities.
Space includes the freedom to say, "This is wrong for me after all" and
stop. If she goes back later, great. If not, great.
Schooling is full of desperate techniques to falsely "make" subjects (and
drills) that are irrelevant *seem* interesting because they are part of the
mandatory curriculum. If interests come first, even the motivation to do the
grunt portion as well as the cool parts, will be there.
Robyn L. Coburn
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after school activities I find it very trying for me to just let my
daughter decide what she's going to do. I love the idea, however,
maybe I'm missing something. If she starts something I would like for
her to finish the project - especially if it was her idea to do in
the first place. Should I make her finish it and attempt to make it
more interesting? or just let her move on and maybe she'll come back
to it? I'm finding this to be very challenging and don't want to
become worse over time in giving her her space to see and learn
things on her own.>>>
The longer you take to start unschooling, the longer you will be deschooling
before the joy and fun and exploration can really start up.
The most likely result of forcing someone unwilling to finish what they
start is that they will stop being willing to start things. The most likely
result of forcing someone to stay in an activity after they want to stop is
that they will stop wanting to join activities.
Space includes the freedom to say, "This is wrong for me after all" and
stop. If she goes back later, great. If not, great.
Schooling is full of desperate techniques to falsely "make" subjects (and
drills) that are irrelevant *seem* interesting because they are part of the
mandatory curriculum. If interests come first, even the motivation to do the
grunt portion as well as the cool parts, will be there.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.735 / Virus Database: 489 - Release Date: 8/6/2004
Game-Enthusiast
People get really wound up about finishing things when it comes to kids.
Like if they don' t make them finish things now, then they will never finish
anything in their entire lives. Do you ever start something that you don't
finish? A book that just isn't good? a knitting project that you lose
interest in? I know I do and I'd be pretty pissed if someone told me I have
to finish my last project before I start a new one. I have a half finished
book sitting on the arm of the couch. I started a new one today. I might
finish the other one at a later date. I might not. I have a half finished
pair of mittens in the knitting basket. I know I'll be interested in
knitting again once the weather cools down and I am home more. I have two
pairs of pants cut out and ready to be sewed but I am not in the mood to sew
right now. I'll do it before the kids need pants this fall.
I am sure I have other unfinished projects. Like, I'll finish cleaning the
house when the kids move out. ;0)
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Like if they don' t make them finish things now, then they will never finish
anything in their entire lives. Do you ever start something that you don't
finish? A book that just isn't good? a knitting project that you lose
interest in? I know I do and I'd be pretty pissed if someone told me I have
to finish my last project before I start a new one. I have a half finished
book sitting on the arm of the couch. I started a new one today. I might
finish the other one at a later date. I might not. I have a half finished
pair of mittens in the knitting basket. I know I'll be interested in
knitting again once the weather cools down and I am home more. I have two
pairs of pants cut out and ready to be sewed but I am not in the mood to sew
right now. I'll do it before the kids need pants this fall.
I am sure I have other unfinished projects. Like, I'll finish cleaning the
house when the kids move out. ;0)
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Elizabeth Hill
** People get really wound up about finishing things when it comes to kids.
Like if they don' t make them finish things now, then they will never finish
anything in their entire lives. Do you ever start something that you don't
finish? **
I finally realized that I probably would have read more biographies over
the years if I allowed myself to *skip* when things got dull. I'm so
used to the idea that you have to start at the beginning and plow
through to the end that I just stopped reading biographies entirely.
(But I did recently listen to the David McCullough biography of John
Adams, and I liked that.)
Betsy
** a knitting project that you lose
interest in? **
Sometimes when I'm trying a new quilting technique, I'll just make one
block. The fact that I didn't make 36 blocks for a bed quilt doesn't
mean I wasted time. Sometimes I make a few blocks and realize that
the color combination isn't working. Making more blocks just like them
in order to "finish" wouldn't be worthwhile. And it could destroy my
enthusiasm for quilting.
Like if they don' t make them finish things now, then they will never finish
anything in their entire lives. Do you ever start something that you don't
finish? **
I finally realized that I probably would have read more biographies over
the years if I allowed myself to *skip* when things got dull. I'm so
used to the idea that you have to start at the beginning and plow
through to the end that I just stopped reading biographies entirely.
(But I did recently listen to the David McCullough biography of John
Adams, and I liked that.)
Betsy
** a knitting project that you lose
interest in? **
Sometimes when I'm trying a new quilting technique, I'll just make one
block. The fact that I didn't make 36 blocks for a bed quilt doesn't
mean I wasted time. Sometimes I make a few blocks and realize that
the color combination isn't working. Making more blocks just like them
in order to "finish" wouldn't be worthwhile. And it could destroy my
enthusiasm for quilting.
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/13/2004 6:35:05 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
ecsamhill@... writes:
finally realized that I probably would have read more biographies over
the years if I allowed myself to *skip* when things got dull. I'm so
used to the idea that you have to start at the beginning and plow
through to the end that I just stopped reading biographies entirely.
(But I did recently listen to the David McCullough biography of John
Adams, and I liked that.)
----------------------------
I really like autobiographies, but I often stop once they people are grown.
When they're writing about their childhood and early successes, I'm
fascinated. Once they're grown it's a big yawn. <g>
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ecsamhill@... writes:
finally realized that I probably would have read more biographies over
the years if I allowed myself to *skip* when things got dull. I'm so
used to the idea that you have to start at the beginning and plow
through to the end that I just stopped reading biographies entirely.
(But I did recently listen to the David McCullough biography of John
Adams, and I liked that.)
----------------------------
I really like autobiographies, but I often stop once they people are grown.
When they're writing about their childhood and early successes, I'm
fascinated. Once they're grown it's a big yawn. <g>
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
<<<I'm considering unschooling after this year, however,
--------------
After 2004?
After May 2005?
What year is this you're talking about?
If you were driving the wrong way to get to your destination, wouuld you go
to the next town or intersection and then turn around? Or would you turn
around as soon as you knew you were going the wrong way?
Once you start unschooling, will you force yourself to finish it, whether it
seems fun or good or not?
If you start eating something and it doesn't taste at all good, do you finish
it anyway?
Books?
Movies?
Someone I know felt QUITE progressive and open-minded because when she
started homeschooling she told her son that he could read any book he wanted to,
with the sole proviso that he had to finish every book he started.
It was one of the worst ideas and most wrong-headed ideas I had ever heard.
It would keep him from starting any books, or it would make him a faker and a
liar.
I taught Jr. High English. I remember being in English classes all through
school. When children are "made" to finish a book, many of them lie and
cheat, either skimming or making things up, reading Cliff's Notes, asking their
friends, watching a movie instead... They're not reading books the way books
can and should be read.
I think you should decide by the moment in your life what to do. Live and be
in the moment.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
--------------
After 2004?
After May 2005?
What year is this you're talking about?
If you were driving the wrong way to get to your destination, wouuld you go
to the next town or intersection and then turn around? Or would you turn
around as soon as you knew you were going the wrong way?
Once you start unschooling, will you force yourself to finish it, whether it
seems fun or good or not?
If you start eating something and it doesn't taste at all good, do you finish
it anyway?
Books?
Movies?
Someone I know felt QUITE progressive and open-minded because when she
started homeschooling she told her son that he could read any book he wanted to,
with the sole proviso that he had to finish every book he started.
It was one of the worst ideas and most wrong-headed ideas I had ever heard.
It would keep him from starting any books, or it would make him a faker and a
liar.
I taught Jr. High English. I remember being in English classes all through
school. When children are "made" to finish a book, many of them lie and
cheat, either skimming or making things up, reading Cliff's Notes, asking their
friends, watching a movie instead... They're not reading books the way books
can and should be read.
I think you should decide by the moment in your life what to do. Live and be
in the moment.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Vijay Berry Owens
You'd probably like Clinton's autobiography then. Reviewers who
misunderstood or disliked his approach were criticizing him for spending
so much time on his formative years and then cramming 5 different major
events that occurred while he was president onto one page. He supposedly
did that on purpose so that readers would get a sense of how much
pressure there is and how quickly things move when you are president.
I thought that was pretty clever of him.
-Vijay
misunderstood or disliked his approach were criticizing him for spending
so much time on his formative years and then cramming 5 different major
events that occurred while he was president onto one page. He supposedly
did that on purpose so that readers would get a sense of how much
pressure there is and how quickly things move when you are president.
I thought that was pretty clever of him.
-Vijay
On Friday, August 13, 2004, at 09:08 PM, SandraDodd@... wrote:
> I really like autobiographies, but I often stop once they people are
> grown.
> When they're writing about their childhood and early successes, I'm
> fascinated. Once they're grown it's a big yawn. <g>
>
> Sandra
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fetteroll
on 8/13/04 5:05 PM, Latoya at latoyadenise@... wrote:
The training won't necessarily stick and it may have bad side effects (not
wanting to start anything, anger at being made to do what they don't want to
do, wanting to be away from the one who is controling them, guilt over all
the projects they "need" to get back to one day). But the techniques are
pretty easy to master: just stuff down your feelings and keep plugging.
But a more useful skill for a lifetime is knowing when to abandon something
that is taking more from you than it will give in return.
Joyce
> Should I make her finish it and attempt to make itIt's comparatively easy to train someone to finish everything they begin.
> more interesting?
The training won't necessarily stick and it may have bad side effects (not
wanting to start anything, anger at being made to do what they don't want to
do, wanting to be away from the one who is controling them, guilt over all
the projects they "need" to get back to one day). But the techniques are
pretty easy to master: just stuff down your feelings and keep plugging.
But a more useful skill for a lifetime is knowing when to abandon something
that is taking more from you than it will give in return.
Joyce
Elizabeth Hill
** It's comparatively easy to train someone to finish everything they begin.
The training won't necessarily stick and it may have bad side effects (not
wanting to start anything, anger at being made to do what they don't want to
do, wanting to be away from the one who is controling them, guilt over all
the projects they "need" to get back to one day). But the techniques are
pretty easy to master: just stuff down your feelings and keep plugging.**
Alfie Kohn's book, _Punished by Rewards_, relates to this idea. He
talks about the example of kids that were given incentives to keep
painting. Those kids did more painting for awhile, but ended up liking
it less than kids who only painted when they wanted to. So giving a
bribe or pressure to finish a job can undermine a kid's built-in
interest in a topic. (Also called "intrinsic motivation.)
Betsy
The training won't necessarily stick and it may have bad side effects (not
wanting to start anything, anger at being made to do what they don't want to
do, wanting to be away from the one who is controling them, guilt over all
the projects they "need" to get back to one day). But the techniques are
pretty easy to master: just stuff down your feelings and keep plugging.**
Alfie Kohn's book, _Punished by Rewards_, relates to this idea. He
talks about the example of kids that were given incentives to keep
painting. Those kids did more painting for awhile, but ended up liking
it less than kids who only painted when they wanted to. So giving a
bribe or pressure to finish a job can undermine a kid's built-in
interest in a topic. (Also called "intrinsic motivation.)
Betsy