tjreynoso

My son chose to go to school this year. He's turning 8 and we've
homeschooled/unschooled for two years now. I don't know how to feel
about it yet. I am a bit disappointed.

Four years ago i put him on the waiting list for a Bank Street
charter school. They had an opening for him this year. I debated
whether to tell him about it but I didn't want to be sneaky wit him.
I told him about it and he said he wanted us to check it out and let
him know how it was. Which we did.

As far as schools go, I liked what I saw. The teachers were very
compasisonate and seemed to really care. I liked that they had alot
of liberties with directing the class and that the students were also
given alot of say in what they wanted to learn. They told me they
didn't worry about the testing. They just took it when it was time
to and didn't dewll on it all year.

It was a hard decision. Like picking the lesser evil.

I know it can't replace unschooling. The only reason this is even an
issue is because I've had to work full time for the past year and I
don't have the time to spend with him. I didn't think it was fair to
him. He also said he wanted to go back to school and be with other
kids more.

I make sure he knows he's there by choice. Just because it's a
sought after school it doesn't replace the homeschooling. He is free
to leave whenever he wants. His first day he told me he didn't think
he was ready for third grade and wanted to be in second and they
agreed to change him. He also says he "wants to see what it's like"
They've been very accomodating and understanding about my anxieties
about school in general. i'm glad that he is able to view school this
way. As a choice, an experiment. Not as a requirement or the only
place to learn.

He seems happy. I think it's because he has a choice. I don't really
know how to feel. I'm trying not to pass my anxieties onto him and
be happy for him. But I can't tell him he has the freedom to choose
and then get upset when he decides for something I wouldn't have.

What would you do if your kids chose school?

Tanya

Elizabeth Roberts

Tanya,

My oldest, also 8, has asked to go back to school this
year. She wants to go to the local public school with
the girls she knows in the neighborhood who are her
age. It is a VERY difficult thing for me to let her
go. All I can do is let her go as long as she is happy
with her decision. My son who is 4 is also asking to
go, because his friend is going.

Elizabeth

--- tjreynoso <tjreynoso@...> wrote:

> My son chose to go to school this year. He's
> turning 8 and we've
> homeschooled/unschooled for two years now. I don't
> know how to feel
> about it yet. I am a bit disappointed.
>
> Four years ago i put him on the waiting list for a
> Bank Street
> charter school. They had an opening for him this
> year. I debated
> whether to tell him about it but I didn't want to be
> sneaky wit him.
> I told him about it and he said he wanted us to
> check it out and let
> him know how it was. Which we did.
>
> As far as schools go, I liked what I saw. The
> teachers were very
> compasisonate and seemed to really care. I liked
> that they had alot
> of liberties with directing the class and that the
> students were also
> given alot of say in what they wanted to learn.
> They told me they
> didn't worry about the testing. They just took it
> when it was time
> to and didn't dewll on it all year.
>
> It was a hard decision. Like picking the lesser
> evil.
>
> I know it can't replace unschooling. The only
> reason this is even an
> issue is because I've had to work full time for the
> past year and I
> don't have the time to spend with him. I didn't
> think it was fair to
> him. He also said he wanted to go back to school
> and be with other
> kids more.
>
> I make sure he knows he's there by choice. Just
> because it's a
> sought after school it doesn't replace the
> homeschooling. He is free
> to leave whenever he wants. His first day he told
> me he didn't think
> he was ready for third grade and wanted to be in
> second and they
> agreed to change him. He also says he "wants to see
> what it's like"
> They've been very accomodating and understanding
> about my anxieties
> about school in general. i'm glad that he is able to
> view school this
> way. As a choice, an experiment. Not as a
> requirement or the only
> place to learn.
>
> He seems happy. I think it's because he has a
> choice. I don't really
> know how to feel. I'm trying not to pass my
> anxieties onto him and
> be happy for him. But I can't tell him he has the
> freedom to choose
> and then get upset when he decides for something I
> wouldn't have.
>
> What would you do if your kids chose school?
>
> Tanya
>
>
>




_______________________________
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Rhonda McDowell

After three miscarriages and post-partum depression after the birth of our
second child (also lost our dream home & went thru bankruptcy), I felt it
was best to send my oldest to kindergarten 'cuz I didn't think I could give
her what she needed. Sending her to school depressed me even more (the
previous year I'd attended a national homeschool conference & joined a
support group to see how others did it).

Anyway, I checked out three schools that were options in our area and picked
the best. Then I campaigned each year for the best teacher. The first
teacher had won District Teacher of the Year and taught Kindergarten for 12
years, but she still didn't recognize my child as gifted, when I asked about
it halfway through the year after my daughter started spontaneously to read
on her own (I hadn't taught her!) while everyone else was learning alphabet
sounds.

It took my daughter's second grade teacher (a sweet, young, new teacher
recruited from Canada) to recomment my daughter to the GATE program (Gifted
& Talented) due to her extraordinary drawing ability.

It seemed that her success and happiness at school was linked to how good
each teacher was. I wish there were times I had spoken up more for her
needs to be met. You are your child's only consistent advocate. Don't be a
coward like I was. I tended to fear that being a squeaky wheel would mean
my child would somehow be punished ~ conditioning from my being raised in a
very strict, dictatorial, fundamentalist Christian cult (plus having a
rage-aholic, Italian father).

Looking back now at the times when I didn't buck the system in order to keep
the peace, I feel now that I just ended up sacrificing my child.

It helps to get the teacher on your side ~ be friendly, help a lot, send in
stuff they need, try not to complain about the little stuff. Most teachers
are very grateful for supportive parents and will give more to the students
from those families.

I stayed away from the PTA and School Site Council. Heard they were cliques
and "snake pits". Didn't find out until later that this wasn't really true.
Most of those moms worked as hard as teachers.

But I still wouldn't join. Too much red tape to get anything done! I just
picked which projects I was personally interested in and helped with those.

If you can, make friends with the school secretary. Usually they are the
real power behind the throne, but unfortunately, often real Broomhilda's. I
managed to get on the bad side of all the school secretaries I met, mostly
because I asked questions I wasn't supposed to and refused to brown-nose.

If you run into classmates who are bullies or harm your child, keep a record
of it (date, details, etc.). If it happens more than once or is serious
enough, complain in writing. Usually nobody in the administration would
follow up on it, but sure enough ~ as soon as enough people complained or
someone threatened a lawsuit, then they would come asking for my account of
past incidents. The politics will make you sick.

The other thing that made me sick was you couldn't get a straight answer out
of anyone. Everyone was afraid to speak the truth or give an honest opinion
or stand up for the best interests of the students (vs. the District or
administration or teachers interests).

Writing this down is helping me to see why I was driven to homeschool! Hope
I didn't discourage you too much. I hear we have a really crappy District
office compared to most, so maybe the tone set in our District is why I ran
into so much grief along the way.

Good luck!
Rhonda


----- Original Message -----
From: "tjreynoso" <tjreynoso@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, August 11, 2004 9:13 AM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] He chose school


> My son chose to go to school this year. He's turning 8 and we've
> homeschooled/unschooled for two years now. I don't know how to feel
> about it yet. I am a bit disappointed.
>
> Four years ago i put him on the waiting list for a Bank Street
> charter school. They had an opening for him this year. I debated
> whether to tell him about it but I didn't want to be sneaky wit him.
> I told him about it and he said he wanted us to check it out and let
> him know how it was. Which we did.
>
> As far as schools go, I liked what I saw. The teachers were very
> compasisonate and seemed to really care. I liked that they had alot
> of liberties with directing the class and that the students were also
> given alot of say in what they wanted to learn. They told me they
> didn't worry about the testing. They just took it when it was time
> to and didn't dewll on it all year.
>
> It was a hard decision. Like picking the lesser evil.
>
> I know it can't replace unschooling. The only reason this is even an
> issue is because I've had to work full time for the past year and I
> don't have the time to spend with him. I didn't think it was fair to
> him. He also said he wanted to go back to school and be with other
> kids more.
>
> I make sure he knows he's there by choice. Just because it's a
> sought after school it doesn't replace the homeschooling. He is free
> to leave whenever he wants. His first day he told me he didn't think
> he was ready for third grade and wanted to be in second and they
> agreed to change him. He also says he "wants to see what it's like"
> They've been very accomodating and understanding about my anxieties
> about school in general. i'm glad that he is able to view school this
> way. As a choice, an experiment. Not as a requirement or the only
> place to learn.
>
> He seems happy. I think it's because he has a choice. I don't really
> know how to feel. I'm trying not to pass my anxieties onto him and
> be happy for him. But I can't tell him he has the freedom to choose
> and then get upset when he decides for something I wouldn't have.
>
> What would you do if your kids chose school?
>
> Tanya
>
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>

tjreynoso

No, you didn't discourage me. Standing up for him is precisely the
reason it was hard. They called me on Tuesday. School started the
following monday. Not much time. I insisted on going to the school
and looking it over and talking to as many people as possible. The
secretary reminded me that school was starting in just a few days and
they were very busy getting ready. I insisted. We didn't care how
long the waiting list was or how good they were supposed to be. He's
still my little boy.

The counselor and teachers understood. My husband and i were
emphatic that our primary concern was the environment not the
academics. We wanted him to feel safe and comfortable there. And
that he was the one making the final decision.

So far they've been cool about it. Even about switching him to 2nd.
Even though they believe he's fine academically in 3rd they've
acknowledged he feels it's too hard for him right now and wants to be
in 2nd.

I wish i didn't have to work. But I'm trying to concentrate on the
things I can change right now and be positive about the rest.

Tanya


--- In [email protected], "Rhonda McDowell"
<foto.bug@v...> wrote:
> After three miscarriages and post-partum depression after the birth
of our
> second child (also lost our dream home & went thru bankruptcy), I
felt it
> was best to send my oldest to kindergarten 'cuz I didn't think I
could give
> her what she needed. Sending her to school depressed me even more
(the
> previous year I'd attended a national homeschool conference &
joined a
> support group to see how others did it).
>
> Anyway, I checked out three schools that were options in our area
and picked
> the best. Then I campaigned each year for the best teacher. The
first
> teacher had won District Teacher of the Year and taught
Kindergarten for 12
> years, but she still didn't recognize my child as gifted, when I
asked about
> it halfway through the year after my daughter started spontaneously
to read
> on her own (I hadn't taught her!) while everyone else was learning
alphabet
> sounds.
>
> It took my daughter's second grade teacher (a sweet, young, new
teacher
> recruited from Canada) to recomment my daughter to the GATE program
(Gifted
> & Talented) due to her extraordinary drawing ability.
>
> It seemed that her success and happiness at school was linked to
how good
> each teacher was. I wish there were times I had spoken up more
for her
> needs to be met. You are your child's only consistent advocate.
Don't be a
> coward like I was. I tended to fear that being a squeaky wheel
would mean
> my child would somehow be punished ~ conditioning from my being
raised in a
> very strict, dictatorial, fundamentalist Christian cult (plus
having a
> rage-aholic, Italian father).
>
> Looking back now at the times when I didn't buck the system in
order to keep
> the peace, I feel now that I just ended up sacrificing my child.
>
> It helps to get the teacher on your side ~ be friendly, help a lot,
send in
> stuff they need, try not to complain about the little stuff. Most
teachers
> are very grateful for supportive parents and will give more to the
students
> from those families.
>
> I stayed away from the PTA and School Site Council. Heard they
were cliques
> and "snake pits". Didn't find out until later that this wasn't
really true.
> Most of those moms worked as hard as teachers.
>
> But I still wouldn't join. Too much red tape to get anything
done! I just
> picked which projects I was personally interested in and helped
with those.
>
> If you can, make friends with the school secretary. Usually they
are the
> real power behind the throne, but unfortunately, often real
Broomhilda's. I
> managed to get on the bad side of all the school secretaries I met,
mostly
> because I asked questions I wasn't supposed to and refused to brown-
nose.
>
> If you run into classmates who are bullies or harm your child, keep
a record
> of it (date, details, etc.). If it happens more than once or is
serious
> enough, complain in writing. Usually nobody in the administration
would
> follow up on it, but sure enough ~ as soon as enough people
complained or
> someone threatened a lawsuit, then they would come asking for my
account of
> past incidents. The politics will make you sick.
>
> The other thing that made me sick was you couldn't get a straight
answer out
> of anyone. Everyone was afraid to speak the truth or give an
honest opinion
> or stand up for the best interests of the students (vs. the
District or
> administration or teachers interests).
>
> Writing this down is helping me to see why I was driven to
homeschool! Hope
> I didn't discourage you too much. I hear we have a really crappy
District
> office compared to most, so maybe the tone set in our District is
why I ran
> into so much grief along the way.
>
> Good luck!
> Rhonda
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "tjreynoso" <tjreynoso@y...>
> To: <[email protected]>
> Sent: Wednesday, August 11, 2004 9:13 AM
> Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] He chose school
>
>
> > My son chose to go to school this year. He's turning 8 and we've
> > homeschooled/unschooled for two years now. I don't know how to
feel
> > about it yet. I am a bit disappointed.
> >
> > Four years ago i put him on the waiting list for a Bank Street
> > charter school. They had an opening for him this year. I debated
> > whether to tell him about it but I didn't want to be sneaky wit
him.
> > I told him about it and he said he wanted us to check it out and
let
> > him know how it was. Which we did.
> >
> > As far as schools go, I liked what I saw. The teachers were very
> > compasisonate and seemed to really care. I liked that they had
alot
> > of liberties with directing the class and that the students were
also
> > given alot of say in what they wanted to learn. They told me they
> > didn't worry about the testing. They just took it when it was
time
> > to and didn't dewll on it all year.
> >
> > It was a hard decision. Like picking the lesser evil.
> >
> > I know it can't replace unschooling. The only reason this is
even an
> > issue is because I've had to work full time for the past year and
I
> > don't have the time to spend with him. I didn't think it was
fair to
> > him. He also said he wanted to go back to school and be with
other
> > kids more.
> >
> > I make sure he knows he's there by choice. Just because it's a
> > sought after school it doesn't replace the homeschooling. He is
free
> > to leave whenever he wants. His first day he told me he didn't
think
> > he was ready for third grade and wanted to be in second and they
> > agreed to change him. He also says he "wants to see what it's
like"
> > They've been very accomodating and understanding about my
anxieties
> > about school in general. i'm glad that he is able to view school
this
> > way. As a choice, an experiment. Not as a requirement or the only
> > place to learn.
> >
> > He seems happy. I think it's because he has a choice. I don't
really
> > know how to feel. I'm trying not to pass my anxieties onto him
and
> > be happy for him. But I can't tell him he has the freedom to
choose
> > and then get upset when he decides for something I wouldn't have.
> >
> > What would you do if your kids chose school?
> >
> > Tanya
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this
group.
> >
> > Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
> http://www.unschooling.com
> > Yahoo! Groups Links
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >

[email protected]

<< It helps to get the teacher on your side ~ be friendly, help a lot, send in

stuff they need, try not to complain about the little stuff. Most teachers

are very grateful for supportive parents and will give more to the students

from those families. >>

If the mom really doesn't believe in school, this might not be the best way
to go.

Here's another point of view, involving detachment:
http://sandradodd.com/schoolchoice

This I do agree with:

-=-f you run into classmates who are bullies or harm your child, keep a record

of it (date, details, etc.). If it happens more than once or is serious

enough, complain in writing. Usually nobody in the administration would

follow up on it, but sure enough ~ as soon as enough people complained or

someone threatened a lawsuit, then they would come asking for my account of

past incidents. The politics will make you sick.

-=-

Sandra

Cornerstone Community Farm

On Thursday 12 August 2004 08:52, tjreynoso wrote:
> I wish i didn't have to work.  But I'm trying to concentrate on the
> things I can change right now and be positive about the rest.

I have plans to write a book on homeschooling while single and working.
If your son does want to leave school, do not worry, you can STILL
homeschool, and even work full time if necessary.
There are lots of options, as long as you and your husband remain
flexible and teachable yourselves :)
Keith