a bit of a screed
Annette Naake
Someone wrote
Feminism has broken down doors and given us and our husbands choices we
never had before. If you don't have a choice to pursue outside vocations,
then staying home is just being trapped. If you do have choices, then
staying home is a free decision and an affirmation of your beliefs. Also,
there is such a thing as having to earn money for the family ("What would
you do if money didn't matter" can be quite unrealistic, when it does). It
is unfair to suggest that people who use day care per se don't love their
children as much or aren't as fit parents as people who stay home with them.
That's a line of reasoning that ultimately dehumanizes people who simply do
things differently. In a related thread, we have been lamenting the loss of
friendships since we've made the decision to have kids, or to home school.
Well, people drift apart for many reasons, but faced with a judgmental
attitude, yes, friendships go sour.
Someone said they believed "mothers should mother." Well, right now my
husband is home with our kids and his small home-based business (which would
not put food on our table). I work full time. I like my job a lot. And I
mother.
Annette
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>One of the things I abhore about the feminist movement .....Why the anti-feminist comments on a list devoted to free lifestyles?
Feminism has broken down doors and given us and our husbands choices we
never had before. If you don't have a choice to pursue outside vocations,
then staying home is just being trapped. If you do have choices, then
staying home is a free decision and an affirmation of your beliefs. Also,
there is such a thing as having to earn money for the family ("What would
you do if money didn't matter" can be quite unrealistic, when it does). It
is unfair to suggest that people who use day care per se don't love their
children as much or aren't as fit parents as people who stay home with them.
That's a line of reasoning that ultimately dehumanizes people who simply do
things differently. In a related thread, we have been lamenting the loss of
friendships since we've made the decision to have kids, or to home school.
Well, people drift apart for many reasons, but faced with a judgmental
attitude, yes, friendships go sour.
Someone said they believed "mothers should mother." Well, right now my
husband is home with our kids and his small home-based business (which would
not put food on our table). I work full time. I like my job a lot. And I
mother.
Annette
________________________________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com
CA Nelson
I don't think when others talked about daycare and women who don't stay at home with their children in a negative way meant that every woman who works away from her children or uses daycare is insensitive, etc. etc. It doesn't even bother me when women who don't HAVE to work outside of the home do and are still able to give their children all of the love and security they need. What bothers me are those women and families who obviously don't think their lives should change once children are in the picture, who "need" to keep working so they can have a second BMW or who would go "crazy" sitting around all day with their children. Everything is what you make of it. And if you go into motherhood thinking you're just going to sit around with your kids all day, than you will. Parenting is such a selfless job, and those parents who put themselves first instead of their children are the ones that really get to me.
--
Amy Nelson
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated." - The Indigo Girls
Someone said they believed "mothers should mother." Well, right now my
husband is home with our kids and his small home-based business (which would
not put food on our table). I work full time. I like my job a lot. And I
mother.