[email protected]

In a message dated 8/2/2004 10:51:49 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
ecsamhill@... writes:
I did use Daily Affirmation type books designed
for adult children of alchoholics (last year).
---------------

That "Daily Affirmations" book is one of the best books I ever had. I've
bought and given away half a dozen. It's cheap at most AA offices and at bigger
or recovery bookstores. Probably used at Amazon and all that too.


-=For me to let it go, I
have to talk through the issues and spit it all out through my mouth.
(Even little stuff, like people cutting me off in traffic. <g>)-=-

The bad thing about that is that if the other driver can't hear you but the
people inside your car can, you're infusing your space (and theirs) with mean
negativity for no good purpose. The frustration already happened, no sense
passing it on.

I was thinking just earlier today of the mean little-kid (school?) thing that
I knew from my childhood that my children don't know, which was to punch or
thump someone and say "Pass it on." I think passing it on isn't a great idea.
And passing it back's not so great either.

-=-There's going to come an age when your kids will want to complain about
you. (Maybe just about something you did by accident.) -=-

Holly started that when she was four or five, and hasn't stopped. She has an
irritatingly clear memory, and likes to inventory. *sigh*

Sandra


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/2/2004 11:11:47 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
mummy124@... writes:
<<How do I explain to my kids that what I am doing is different without
dredging up a past that my mom and I have both left behind?>>


I'm not sure I understand why it's important to do so.
-------------------------

I agree. If the relationship is workable, let it be what it is.

When there's estrangement or continuing irritation I think it's okay to
explain it to kids at a level they'll understand, though.

Sandra


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Mary

From: <SandraDodd@...>

<<I agree. If the relationship is workable, let it be what it is.

When there's estrangement or continuing irritation I think it's okay to
explain it to kids at a level they'll understand, though.>>




Yes, that I agree with totally. When there are problems because of that past
relationship, that would also influence the children and yes there needs to
be some conversation as to why things are as they are.

Mary B