Playing
[email protected]
Heather,
Is it just the playing that bugs you?
Just so's ya' know---you're not alone!
I'm not a player. Ben loves it, I volunteer him all the time! <g>
I HATE Barbies, playing with cars and tracks, making dinosaurs roar, playing
Yu-Gi-Oh!---ALL that.
My strengths are "playing" in the kitchen, "playing" with words, "playing"
with books, with movies, with crafts, etc. I have to admit, my "play" involves
"reality". I just can't get all-fired-up about the "other" kind of play.
Oddly, I'm a *nut* for other fantasy stuff, like Santa and fairies. I love
parties and birthdays---any reason for a celebration and my party hat is ON.
But "play"??? I just can't get into it.
So, you're not alone, Heather. Do your best at those things you *are* good
at----in fact, get BETTER at them! Don't get mad and pouty because of the
things you're not good at. The children will understand. And they'll find someone
who *will* do those things with them.
Playing IS important---especially in an unschooling life. But play at what
you're good at! Hire out the other stuff! <G>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Is it just the playing that bugs you?
Just so's ya' know---you're not alone!
I'm not a player. Ben loves it, I volunteer him all the time! <g>
I HATE Barbies, playing with cars and tracks, making dinosaurs roar, playing
Yu-Gi-Oh!---ALL that.
My strengths are "playing" in the kitchen, "playing" with words, "playing"
with books, with movies, with crafts, etc. I have to admit, my "play" involves
"reality". I just can't get all-fired-up about the "other" kind of play.
Oddly, I'm a *nut* for other fantasy stuff, like Santa and fairies. I love
parties and birthdays---any reason for a celebration and my party hat is ON.
But "play"??? I just can't get into it.
So, you're not alone, Heather. Do your best at those things you *are* good
at----in fact, get BETTER at them! Don't get mad and pouty because of the
things you're not good at. The children will understand. And they'll find someone
who *will* do those things with them.
Playing IS important---especially in an unschooling life. But play at what
you're good at! Hire out the other stuff! <G>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Julie
> So, you're not alone, Heather. Do your best at those things you *are*good at----in fact, get BETTER at them! Don't get mad and pouty because of
the things you're not good at. The children will understand. And they'll
find someone who *will* do those things with them.
Playing IS important---especially in an unschooling life. But play at
what you're good at! Hire out the other stuff! <G>
~Kelly
Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou Kelly!!!!!!!!! I so needed to read this. And
while I will still make an effort to play Barbies from time to time, I'm not
going to live with mountains of guilt at offering to bake some cookies or
paint a picture instead.
Julie
Dawn Adams
--
Kelly writes:
I HATE Barbies, playing with cars and tracks, making dinosaurs roar, playing
Yu-Gi-Oh!---ALL that.
My strengths are "playing" in the kitchen, "playing" with words, "playing"
with books, with movies, with crafts, etc. I have to admit, my "play" involves
"reality". I just can't get all-fired-up about the "other" kind of play.
Dawn (in NS)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly writes:
I HATE Barbies, playing with cars and tracks, making dinosaurs roar, playing
Yu-Gi-Oh!---ALL that.
My strengths are "playing" in the kitchen, "playing" with words, "playing"
with books, with movies, with crafts, etc. I have to admit, my "play" involves
"reality". I just can't get all-fired-up about the "other" kind of play.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>This is me too. I used to love cars and dinosaurs and Barbies as a kid but then, I was using them to play at adult life. I'm an adult now so what's the point? I don't much like bumper cars anymore though they used to be a favourite, I figure it's the same idea. I drive the real thing now so the thrill's gone.
Dawn (in NS)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Laura Bourdo
> Date: Sun, 1 Aug 2004 22:08:03 EDTplaying
> From: kbcdlovejo@...
> Subject: Playing
>
> Heather,
>
> Is it just the playing that bugs you?
>
> Just so's ya' know---you're not alone!
>
> I'm not a player. Ben loves it, I volunteer him all the time! <g>
>
> I HATE Barbies, playing with cars and tracks, making dinosaurs roar,
> Yu-Gi-Oh!---ALL that.I second this, wholeheartedly.
I was never what I used to call a "sandbox mommy." And I felt really guilty
about it for a LONG time. I just couldnn't bring myself to get down on the
floor very much and play imaginary games with the kids. I consoled myself
that I loved reading with them, and cooking with them, and a bunch of other
things, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I should have done more.
It's funny that this has come up now, because just last week my 19 yo dd was
reminiscing about her childhood, and went on and on about how much fun they
had with me -- going to the library on the bus, just because (we didn't have
to -- but we live in a large urban area with good public transport, and it
was a change of pace) and getting an ice cream cone before the ride home,
picnics and kite flying, sandcastle "competitions" at the beach, fountain
"safaris" where we searched out different fountains in the urban landscape
and dabbled our feet and took lots of pictures, and so forth. I know I had
a lot of fun when they were little, and apparently they did too, despite the
fact that I hated Barbies with a hidden passion. <g>
That's the point, I think. Do what you love with your kids, and that will
be more than enough.
Laura B.
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/2/2004 2:53:00 AM Eastern Standard Time,
Wishbone@... writes:
involves
"reality". I just can't get all-fired-up about the "other" kind of play.<<
************************************
This is sure me too. I even got to a point where I couldn't stand to read
fiction, because I felt life is too short, there's too much "real" interesting
stuff out there I want to read before I die! (I HAVE learned to pop in fiction
books on tape (don't feel I'm wasting so much time as I can cook/clean at the
same time). I liked the other post about bumper cars too...what is the
point? We get to drive the real thing, and pfft!...it's not that fun!
Today we went to the park and they had a bunch of big stuff to play on (they
actually still had one of those metal merry-go-round type things we'd injure
ourselves on when I was little, and a lot of old, metal stuff...not
wooden...imagine that!). I had a real good, fun time. I laughed so much at my boys and
their cousin (16, 14, and 13) as they'd try and think up new, crazy,
evil-keinevil type stuff to do on everything, like jumping ONTO the merry-go-round
(ouch) and off of the swings at full speed. I even swung too, and pushed the
merry-go-round as fast as I could while they laughed their heads off. Definately
a day to remember!
I love the idea of going with what you're good at, and making the best of
that. I can get the kids started at playing with something, but I don't want to
spend more than 10 minutes with barbies or trucks :o)
Nancy B.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Wishbone@... writes:
>>My strengths are "playing" in the kitchen, "playing" with words, "playing"with books, with movies, with crafts, etc. I have to admit, my "play"
involves
"reality". I just can't get all-fired-up about the "other" kind of play.<<
************************************
This is sure me too. I even got to a point where I couldn't stand to read
fiction, because I felt life is too short, there's too much "real" interesting
stuff out there I want to read before I die! (I HAVE learned to pop in fiction
books on tape (don't feel I'm wasting so much time as I can cook/clean at the
same time). I liked the other post about bumper cars too...what is the
point? We get to drive the real thing, and pfft!...it's not that fun!
Today we went to the park and they had a bunch of big stuff to play on (they
actually still had one of those metal merry-go-round type things we'd injure
ourselves on when I was little, and a lot of old, metal stuff...not
wooden...imagine that!). I had a real good, fun time. I laughed so much at my boys and
their cousin (16, 14, and 13) as they'd try and think up new, crazy,
evil-keinevil type stuff to do on everything, like jumping ONTO the merry-go-round
(ouch) and off of the swings at full speed. I even swung too, and pushed the
merry-go-round as fast as I could while they laughed their heads off. Definately
a day to remember!
I love the idea of going with what you're good at, and making the best of
that. I can get the kids started at playing with something, but I don't want to
spend more than 10 minutes with barbies or trucks :o)
Nancy B.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dawn Adams
Nancy writes:
This is sure me too. I even got to a point where I couldn't stand to read
fiction, because I felt life is too short, there's too much "real" interesting
stuff out there I want to read before I die!
Dawn (in NS)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
This is sure me too. I even got to a point where I couldn't stand to read
fiction, because I felt life is too short, there's too much "real" interesting
stuff out there I want to read before I die!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>You've touched on a pet peeve here. :) I used to have people who would come into the bookstore who proudly told me they never read fiction. My response was a quote from somewhere, "Non-fiction has the facts but fiction holds the truth". A good history book can tell you lots about WW11 Germany but Jerry Kosinski's The Painted Bird will take you inside and shake you up like nothing else. That all said I've been devoured historical stuff lately and ignoring my fiction shelves.:)
Dawn (in NS)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/2/04 4:05:29 PM, LauraBourdo@... writes:
<< I know I had
a lot of fun when they were little, and apparently they did too, despite the
fact that I hated Barbies with a hidden passion. <g>
I don't play Barbies, but I aid and abet Barbie play. Just last week I
brought in an upholstered chair for Barbie. It was a homemade wooden chair, made
of little lumber scraps and "upholstered" with glued on drapery material.
Pretty, but hard as a 2x4. Barbie doesn't care. I wrapped it in tissue paper,
put "Barbie" on it, and stuck it back in "Barbieland."
Barbieland is an under-stairs closet big enough for kids, not big enough for
adults, which already had shelves and a light when we moved here. Holly was
six, and because of my experience with Kirby's Ninja Turtle figures and their
tiny weapons and pizza slices, I knew life would be better for Holly if we
didn't have to negotiate Barbie's shoes and pizza slices, and if I didn't have to
check the vacuum cleaner bag, so we gave her that space and she never had to
clean up Barbie stuff.
At first it was a floor covered with clothes and parts of stuff, with naked
barbies and kens and Kelly dolls on the shelves. A couple of times I paid an
older girl $5 to organize it some. They had fun, and Holly was thrilled.
Now, six years later, the shelf sections are various Barbie rooms, some with
rugs or carpets, and wall decorations, and the clothes are in little Barbie
closets and drawers, the cars and boats are parked in the back corner (the
stairs make a u-turn, so under the landing is the main room where the light is, and
parking and storage are under the short end of the stairs) and nobody's
naked.
So although I have rarely held a doll and wiggled it and talked, I have often
made sure Holly had a guest, the time, and the space to play Barbies. She
has something scheduled for this Wednesday.
<<That's the point, I think. Do what you love with your kids, and that will
be more than enough. >>
IF...
It's more than enough if it's enough.
Some moms might take that as permission to assume the kids will find their
own entertainment. I don't think that's a good plan for unschoolers.
Moms of kids in school have assumed that the kids will get art at school, so
they don't need to have art supplies; that the kids will get music at school,
so they don't need to provide any musical enrichment; that the kids will have
a globe at school and maps, so they don't need to have globes and maps, and so
on.
I think we all know moms who seem to assume kids will play with all their
friends at school and so they don't need to invite kids over, or let their kids
go play. They seem to think that making them do homework, watch TV for some
measured hour or two, bathe and sleep is all they have to do to be good parents.
And society will back them up.
Unschoolers need to provide opportunities for anything they think might be
important or helpful or necessary. And that's a lot of responsibility. Play
is part of that. The parents don't have to play everything their kids want to,
but they need to import other kids who will, then. If a kid has a
two-player video game and the parents can't or won't find him a gaming buddy, the
parent ought to learn to play it. It's as cruel as another cruel thing I've seen,
which is buying kids a board game and then declining to play it with them.
So sometimes it's not enough, and most parents could probably stand to do
more. At least boost the flow of other people through their kids' lives.
Sandra
<< I know I had
a lot of fun when they were little, and apparently they did too, despite the
fact that I hated Barbies with a hidden passion. <g>
I don't play Barbies, but I aid and abet Barbie play. Just last week I
brought in an upholstered chair for Barbie. It was a homemade wooden chair, made
of little lumber scraps and "upholstered" with glued on drapery material.
Pretty, but hard as a 2x4. Barbie doesn't care. I wrapped it in tissue paper,
put "Barbie" on it, and stuck it back in "Barbieland."
Barbieland is an under-stairs closet big enough for kids, not big enough for
adults, which already had shelves and a light when we moved here. Holly was
six, and because of my experience with Kirby's Ninja Turtle figures and their
tiny weapons and pizza slices, I knew life would be better for Holly if we
didn't have to negotiate Barbie's shoes and pizza slices, and if I didn't have to
check the vacuum cleaner bag, so we gave her that space and she never had to
clean up Barbie stuff.
At first it was a floor covered with clothes and parts of stuff, with naked
barbies and kens and Kelly dolls on the shelves. A couple of times I paid an
older girl $5 to organize it some. They had fun, and Holly was thrilled.
Now, six years later, the shelf sections are various Barbie rooms, some with
rugs or carpets, and wall decorations, and the clothes are in little Barbie
closets and drawers, the cars and boats are parked in the back corner (the
stairs make a u-turn, so under the landing is the main room where the light is, and
parking and storage are under the short end of the stairs) and nobody's
naked.
So although I have rarely held a doll and wiggled it and talked, I have often
made sure Holly had a guest, the time, and the space to play Barbies. She
has something scheduled for this Wednesday.
<<That's the point, I think. Do what you love with your kids, and that will
be more than enough. >>
IF...
It's more than enough if it's enough.
Some moms might take that as permission to assume the kids will find their
own entertainment. I don't think that's a good plan for unschoolers.
Moms of kids in school have assumed that the kids will get art at school, so
they don't need to have art supplies; that the kids will get music at school,
so they don't need to provide any musical enrichment; that the kids will have
a globe at school and maps, so they don't need to have globes and maps, and so
on.
I think we all know moms who seem to assume kids will play with all their
friends at school and so they don't need to invite kids over, or let their kids
go play. They seem to think that making them do homework, watch TV for some
measured hour or two, bathe and sleep is all they have to do to be good parents.
And society will back them up.
Unschoolers need to provide opportunities for anything they think might be
important or helpful or necessary. And that's a lot of responsibility. Play
is part of that. The parents don't have to play everything their kids want to,
but they need to import other kids who will, then. If a kid has a
two-player video game and the parents can't or won't find him a gaming buddy, the
parent ought to learn to play it. It's as cruel as another cruel thing I've seen,
which is buying kids a board game and then declining to play it with them.
So sometimes it's not enough, and most parents could probably stand to do
more. At least boost the flow of other people through their kids' lives.
Sandra