mark and rheta wallingford

We recently moved and the kids took it well, especially since my 5 yo dd
has a lot more freedom here. She is on her bike at 7:30 a.m. riding up
and down the street (it’s a dead end that comes out to a side street
with another dead end road attached), we keep in touch with walkie
talkies, too. That’s great although difficult to keep her from waking
people up by knocking on their doors too early. Bel is what I would
call extremely social. She is an extrovert and gets a lot of energy
from playing with other kids. I’m not like that at all. When she can’t
find anyone to play with, she gets extremely frustrated. She doesn’t
like to do crafts, she will not play alone and plays with her 2 ½ yo
sister only when there is no one else. Only since we moved here has she
said to me that her sister is just a baby and she doesn’t want to play
baby games. I know that was bound to come up at sometime but I know one
of the older kids said it to her. That’s a different issue. I can’t
shelter them from life but can only explain how unfair that statement is
to her sister. My problem lies in the fact that if there is no one to
play with, Bel wants me to be her playmate for hours on end and I can’t
do that. I will play games and read books, go for walks, the park, etc.
but at some point I need to answer the phone for our business and get
things done. When it comes time to go somewhere, she gives me such a
hard time because there are kids out and she wants to be playing (that’s
probably pretty typical but it makes things extremely difficult).
Sometimes it’s hard for the other kids, too, because they will come in
and she will have me set up a project for them to do but won’t let the
other kid finish. Bel has a hard time finishing projects which is fine
but she won’t let the other kids finish if she’s ready to move on.

I don’t know how to help her keep herself occupied. If she isn’t
playing with friends, she’s watching tv. She knows how to read but
doesn’t pick up a book that often for pleasure. I have picked up many
books for her that are about the things she is interested in right now.
I have read her those same books but she doesn’t just pick them up
unless there is nothing on tv. I am worried that come September when
all these kids go to school, she is going to spend 8 hours a day
watching tv or screaming at me because there is no one to play with. We
try to do outside things with other homeschoolers and just going to
places where kids can play but that’s only a couple hours here and there
and she has a hard time with stopping. She would be content going from
an amusement park to a party to another amusement park all in the same
day. I have no clue how to deal with this. I get my energy from quiet
time where I can write or do rubberstamping or scrapbooking. I not only
have a hard time understanding her boredom but have a harder time with
her constant in and out routine when she sees kids out in the
neighborhood. I want most of all for her to be able to be herself while
taking into consideration the family’s needs as well. Her sister gets
left in the middle of a game if Bel sees a friend outside. I can’t
establish any kind of a loose routine (which I need to stay sane and run
the business) because she wants to be outside knocking on everyone’s
door so early! I could use advice from other parents of really
extroverted kids who can’t seem to do any thing without another person’s
involvement (including going to get dressed – she insists her sister
needs to go upstairs with her) and how they handle the issues that arise
when the neighborhood kids go back to public school. We keep busy but
for Bel it’s not enough unless she is playing and involved with others
from waking to sleeping.

Rheta





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 7/27/04 2:51:53 PM, wallingford@... writes:

<< I could use advice from other parents of really

extroverted kids who can’t seem to do any thing without another person’s

involvement >>

Kirby was that way. Luckily, I'm extroverted too, but my husband is not, and
our second son was not.

MAYBE, perhaps, you could babysit? I wouldn't commit to something longterm,
but maybe seeing if keeping someone else's (maybe slightly older!) child
sometimes would satisfy the need for non-stop play and also keep you from having to
be the playmate.

Maybe there's a homeschooling family with working parents and you could be
the babysitter, at least sometimes. If you found someone your daughter really
likes, and especially if it's someone older or calming or both, you could
accomplish several things at once.

Sandra

eriksmama2001

I have even been considering a non-compulsory "preschool" for my son
to meet his social needs. Totally at his discretion to come or go and
I can attend apparently. It is called Open Door.

But as you mentioned, when these children go off to school that
leaves him alone. I think by then he will have more specific
interests that may have other participants his age hopefully. We also
do the music and gym classes locally.

Pat


--- In [email protected], "mark and rheta
wallingford" <wallingford@m...> wrote:
> We recently moved and the kids took it well, especially since my 5
yo dd
> has a lot more freedom here. She is on her bike at 7:30 a.m.
riding up
> and down the street (it's a dead end that comes out to a side street
> with another dead end road attached), we keep in touch with walkie
> talkies, too. That's great although difficult to keep her from
waking
> people up by knocking on their doors too early. Bel is what I would
> call extremely social. She is an extrovert and gets a lot of energy
> from playing with other kids. I'm not like that at all. When she
can't
> find anyone to play with, she gets extremely frustrated. She
doesn't
> like to do crafts, she will not play alone and plays with her 2 ½ yo
> sister only when there is no one else. Only since we moved here
has she
> said to me that her sister is just a baby and she doesn't want to
play
> baby games. I know that was bound to come up at sometime but I
know one
> of the older kids said it to her. That's a different issue. I
can't
> shelter them from life but can only explain how unfair that
statement is
> to her sister. My problem lies in the fact that if there is no
one to
> play with, Bel wants me to be her playmate for hours on end and I
can't
> do that. I will play games and read books, go for walks, the park,
etc.
> but at some point I need to answer the phone for our business and
get
> things done. When it comes time to go somewhere, she gives me such
a
> hard time because there are kids out and she wants to be playing
(that's
> probably pretty typical but it makes things extremely difficult).
> Sometimes it's hard for the other kids, too, because they will come
in
> and she will have me set up a project for them to do but won't let
the
> other kid finish. Bel has a hard time finishing projects which is
fine
> but she won't let the other kids finish if she's ready to move
on.
>
> I don't know how to help her keep herself occupied. If she isn't
> playing with friends, she's watching tv. She knows how to read but
> doesn't pick up a book that often for pleasure. I have picked up
many
> books for her that are about the things she is interested in right
now.
> I have read her those same books but she doesn't just pick them up
> unless there is nothing on tv. I am worried that come September
when
> all these kids go to school, she is going to spend 8 hours a day
> watching tv or screaming at me because there is no one to play
with. We
> try to do outside things with other homeschoolers and just going to
> places where kids can play but that's only a couple hours here and
there
> and she has a hard time with stopping. She would be content going
from
> an amusement park to a party to another amusement park all in the
same
> day. I have no clue how to deal with this. I get my energy from
quiet
> time where I can write or do rubberstamping or scrapbooking. I not
only
> have a hard time understanding her boredom but have a harder time
with
> her constant in and out routine when she sees kids out in the
> neighborhood. I want most of all for her to be able to be herself
while
> taking into consideration the family's needs as well. Her sister
gets
> left in the middle of a game if Bel sees a friend outside. I can't
> establish any kind of a loose routine (which I need to stay sane
and run
> the business) because she wants to be outside knocking on everyone's
> door so early! I could use advice from other parents of really
> extroverted kids who can't seem to do any thing without another
person's
> involvement (including going to get dressed – she insists her sister
> needs to go upstairs with her) and how they handle the issues that
arise
> when the neighborhood kids go back to public school. We keep busy
but
> for Bel it's not enough unless she is playing and involved with
others
> from waking to sleeping.
>
> Rheta
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Gerard Westenberg

<<I could use advice from other parents of really
extroverted kids who can't seem to do any thing without another person's
involvement >>.

My first and fourth sons are/were like this - whereas the youngest two just love to stay home ( and thats another different story!).

A couple of things we did --started homeschool playgroup in our house one day a week - so there was always a core bunch of kids who came over with their mums for the day. I also set up a weekly homeschool park day. Maybe fit your work schedule in around this?

We also have set up many play dates - homeschool friends coming over or schooled friends after school, or J going to a friend's house. My eldest sometimes went to after school care activities, even though he didn't go to school - he liked the group social things in the afternoons and school holidays. I found that when they had friends over, playing, I could get other stuff done, spend time with other kids - cos the social child was having his social needs met....Leonie

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]