Abigail C Aldrich

On Mon, 19 Jul 2004 03:48:55 -0700 "Robyn Coburn" <dezigna@...>
writes:
>grandparents were apologetic instead of judgmental. Perhaps your Mom
> needs to be directed to some AP websites. www.naturalchild.org has
> printable
> articles also. That might help her get past this idea of "scaring to
> cure
> fear". Boy is that ever an idea whose time has never been! She may
> also
> benefit from some of the ideas about not calling children names.

Thanks for the link, Robyn. I'm sure I'll be able to find something
there. She used to do the same thing with me (and DH's mom with him).
It's something we're both really sensitive about. DH and I are both
going to have to get more stern about these things. After all, if they
were hurting our children physically we would put a stop to it right
away, so why should we treat emotional pain any differently?

> I keep interactions with negative people to a minimum. When Mum
> (who actually approves) starts saying things, her most recent being
"Jayn
> should be able to write her name", I usually say cheerfully, "No she
> shouldn't well bye now" and hang up.

This made me laugh because Lena & Liberty had never been interested in
writing their own names until just very recently as a way to claim
ownership over their art work (sick of me constantly saying, "Who drew
this?") Instead, they wanted to know how to write "Peter Pan" and
"Wendy." Drove the grandparents *crazy* to get stuff from them signed
Peter Pan and Wendy. I did have to let them know that they wouldn't be
receiving anymore "gifts" from the kids unless they could keep their
negative comments ("It's nice, but why didn't you write your name?") to
themselves. My constant cheerful refrain is, "Well, when I want them to
feel bad about themselves for not being ready to learn/do something, then
I'll put them in school!"

Thanks again.
Abby

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Abigail C Aldrich

On Mon, 19 Jul 2004 10:26:03 EDT SandraDodd@... writes:
> Really good point. 'Desensitization" therapy (being around bugs
> because
> you're terrified of bugs, flying in planes to overcome fear of
> flying) didn't do
> what people liked to think it would do.
> It's wrong.

And I usually feel like the people who believe in that kind of therapy
are people who have never been afraid of anything in their lives. There
doesn't seem to be any compassion for kids who are fearful of certain
things; they're supposed to just get over it.
Abby

________________________________________________________________
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In a message dated 7/19/04 11:09:22 AM, abbyaldrich1@... writes:

<< My constant cheerful refrain is, "Well, when I want them to
feel bad about themselves for not being ready to learn/do something, then
I'll put them in school!" >>

Huh.
Maybe if they're not careful you'll build up to
"When I want them to
feel bad about themselves for not being ready to learn/do something, then
I'll put them in school or send them to your house!"

Sandra

Robyn Coburn

<<<My constant cheerful refrain is, "Well, when I want them to
feel bad about themselves for not being ready to learn/do something, then
I'll put them in school!" >>>>

Oh this is a good one!

Robyn L. Coburn


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