Potty "Training"
Betsy and Chris
I hope this is OK to post to the list--I would really value your input!
My son is 2.5 yrs. and using diapers. I purchased a child's potty about a year ago and over the past year we have talked some about it, occassionally read The Potty Book, and have off and on asked Sam if he would like to try using it (it has used it on occassion--more often he opts not to). I am fine with this and have a feeling that when he his ready to use the potty more he just will. Does this seem realistic?
I don't care for much of the "training" advice I've come across (stickers, food rewards, constant reminders with timers, etc.)--it doesn't seem to fit us. But, I haven't really heard an "unschooling" or child-led approach to this particular issue.
Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks,
Betsy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My son is 2.5 yrs. and using diapers. I purchased a child's potty about a year ago and over the past year we have talked some about it, occassionally read The Potty Book, and have off and on asked Sam if he would like to try using it (it has used it on occassion--more often he opts not to). I am fine with this and have a feeling that when he his ready to use the potty more he just will. Does this seem realistic?
I don't care for much of the "training" advice I've come across (stickers, food rewards, constant reminders with timers, etc.)--it doesn't seem to fit us. But, I haven't really heard an "unschooling" or child-led approach to this particular issue.
Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks,
Betsy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
J. Stauffer
Yes, he will use the toilet when he wants to. My boys were both close to
3.5 when they started.
You might see if he is interested first in urinating outside. We spent some
time camping and soon after Zach was using the toilet....so we used the same
approach with Dan.
What interested my boys was seeing the "wonderful" things they could do with
their urine streams....ant beds were particularly enjoyable. It seemed to
give them both a real sense of control, of seeing what was happening.
We approached toiletting much the same way as we approach math....show cool
stuff you can do with it, let the kids mess around as they want to, see
where, if anywhere, it leads.
Julie S.
3.5 when they started.
You might see if he is interested first in urinating outside. We spent some
time camping and soon after Zach was using the toilet....so we used the same
approach with Dan.
What interested my boys was seeing the "wonderful" things they could do with
their urine streams....ant beds were particularly enjoyable. It seemed to
give them both a real sense of control, of seeing what was happening.
We approached toiletting much the same way as we approach math....show cool
stuff you can do with it, let the kids mess around as they want to, see
where, if anywhere, it leads.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Betsy and Chris" <canderson51@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, June 25, 2004 5:50 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Potty "Training"
> I hope this is OK to post to the list--I would really value your input!
>
> My son is 2.5 yrs. and using diapers. I purchased a child's potty about a
year ago and over the past year we have talked some about it, occassionally
read The Potty Book, and have off and on asked Sam if he would like to try
using it (it has used it on occassion--more often he opts not to). I am fine
with this and have a feeling that when he his ready to use the potty more he
just will. Does this seem realistic?
>
> I don't care for much of the "training" advice I've come across (stickers,
food rewards, constant reminders with timers, etc.)--it doesn't seem to fit
us. But, I haven't really heard an "unschooling" or child-led approach to
this particular issue.
>
> Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated!
>
> Thanks,
> Betsy
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/25/2004 10:42:41 PM Eastern Standard Time,
canderson51@... writes:
in a blue moon about age 18 months and we were under pressure to "train" him
because at the time he was in daycare/preschool. Well, I let him wear his
diapers as long as he wanted (I also knew I'd be pulling him out and staying home
before he got to that class) and from out of nowhere on his 3rd B-Day he said
"I done with diapers, MAMA" and he has NEVER had an accident. He just did it
one day. I have no idea if this behavior is unique but I never had an inkling
to "train" him. We bought underpants and let him know that he could use them
anytime but he couldn't pee or poop in them, like in a diaper and he never
did. They were in his drawer for a long time and when he was ready he asked for
them. We also NEVER used a potty. He would just get up on his tippy toes and
pee or we would use a toddler toilet seat cover for poops, so he wouldn't
fall through.
We are doing the same with our second boy who will be 3 in August. No little
potty and he goes when he wants. He uses his cloth diapers just like his big
brother and we have never used training pants or pull-ups or whatever. It
worked the first time and only time will tell if it works this time. I truly
believe they just get to the point when they don't want to be bothered by a
diaper change and just do it by example of other's in the home and a little
encouragement.
I worked in child care for over 13 years and a large bunch of those little
darlings had accidents and were discouraged by training. It was either too
early or they were pushed very hard (punished) by the teachers or parents. The
few parent's I had that weren't in to rushing their kids and were open to
letting them stay in diapers were happy to see better results. My director gave me
a lot of slack on the rules and I had far less accidents with those kids once
they did start going to the bathroom on their own. Don't rush him, just let
him take his time. Neither of you needs the pressure, just whoop it up when
he goes and move on if he doesn't.
Pamela
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
canderson51@... writes:
> when he his ready to use the potty more he just willIt is definitely realistic. My first son who is now 6.5 started going once
in a blue moon about age 18 months and we were under pressure to "train" him
because at the time he was in daycare/preschool. Well, I let him wear his
diapers as long as he wanted (I also knew I'd be pulling him out and staying home
before he got to that class) and from out of nowhere on his 3rd B-Day he said
"I done with diapers, MAMA" and he has NEVER had an accident. He just did it
one day. I have no idea if this behavior is unique but I never had an inkling
to "train" him. We bought underpants and let him know that he could use them
anytime but he couldn't pee or poop in them, like in a diaper and he never
did. They were in his drawer for a long time and when he was ready he asked for
them. We also NEVER used a potty. He would just get up on his tippy toes and
pee or we would use a toddler toilet seat cover for poops, so he wouldn't
fall through.
We are doing the same with our second boy who will be 3 in August. No little
potty and he goes when he wants. He uses his cloth diapers just like his big
brother and we have never used training pants or pull-ups or whatever. It
worked the first time and only time will tell if it works this time. I truly
believe they just get to the point when they don't want to be bothered by a
diaper change and just do it by example of other's in the home and a little
encouragement.
I worked in child care for over 13 years and a large bunch of those little
darlings had accidents and were discouraged by training. It was either too
early or they were pushed very hard (punished) by the teachers or parents. The
few parent's I had that weren't in to rushing their kids and were open to
letting them stay in diapers were happy to see better results. My director gave me
a lot of slack on the rules and I had far less accidents with those kids once
they did start going to the bathroom on their own. Don't rush him, just let
him take his time. Neither of you needs the pressure, just whoop it up when
he goes and move on if he doesn't.
Pamela
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/25/04 9:03:39 PM, canderson51@... writes:
<< But, I haven't really heard an "unschooling" or child-led approach to this
particular issue. >>
Because it's something older people do, kids will more likely want to do it
for that reason than "because you should" or "you're old enough" or whatever.
All the pressure and shame just add to the pile of pressure and shame, they
don't help the child want to be more like older people.
I'd let the book go, and let everything go. Spend your energy doing wholly
unrelated things, I think. They'll use the potty when they're ready, and
they'll feel good for having done it because they wanted to.
Sandra
<< But, I haven't really heard an "unschooling" or child-led approach to this
particular issue. >>
Because it's something older people do, kids will more likely want to do it
for that reason than "because you should" or "you're old enough" or whatever.
All the pressure and shame just add to the pile of pressure and shame, they
don't help the child want to be more like older people.
I'd let the book go, and let everything go. Spend your energy doing wholly
unrelated things, I think. They'll use the potty when they're ready, and
they'll feel good for having done it because they wanted to.
Sandra
Betsy and Chris
Good news! Thanks all! I suspected that there would be a natural time where he would just transfer. There is so much emphasis out there about doing this or doing that to make this transition happen that I began to question whether or not it would just come about on its own. We will carry on and follow his cues.
Thanks again,
Betsy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Thanks again,
Betsy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn Coburn
When Jayn started using the potty at 2.5, I was really surprised because we
were staying in temporary quarters visiting my mother in the hospital every
day. I mean her life was really disrupted. Yet she started sitting on it
every day after we put her swimsuit on to go to the pool. I had bought it
when we got to Texas from home in CA, just to have it available.
Once we got back home, I kept the potty available to her, in the room where
we were playing, and asked her if she wanted to be without pants. The potty
slowly moved to the hallway, then the bathroom, then we had a child seat for
the main commode. She was so proud of herself, and there was no separation
between pee-pee readiness and pooping readiness if YKWIM. She would loudly
announce, "I have a poopoo in my butt" before running to her potty.
Being dry overnight took longer, and I bought a couple of washable &
reusable underpads for my side of the bed for when she was willing to sleep
without a diaper. (We used cloth) For a while she would wait until morning
to pee in her diaper then say she was wet.
Over the course of almost a year she went from 60 diapers a week, to never
wetting the bed, or having any accidents - utterly painlessly. Considering
the astonishing size of the poops she began making around the age of 3, I
have never been so grateful for anything in my life! Probably more info than
was needed.
We don't use "rewards" as behavior motivation at any time here.
Robyn L. Coburn
<<<My son is 2.5 yrs. and using diapers. I purchased a child's potty about a
year ago and over the past year we have talked some about it, occassionally
read The Potty Book, and have off and on asked Sam if he would like to try
using it (it has used it on occassion--more often he opts not to). I am fine
with this and have a feeling that when he his ready to use the potty more he
just will. Does this seem realistic?>>>
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.707 / Virus Database: 463 - Release Date: 6/15/2004
were staying in temporary quarters visiting my mother in the hospital every
day. I mean her life was really disrupted. Yet she started sitting on it
every day after we put her swimsuit on to go to the pool. I had bought it
when we got to Texas from home in CA, just to have it available.
Once we got back home, I kept the potty available to her, in the room where
we were playing, and asked her if she wanted to be without pants. The potty
slowly moved to the hallway, then the bathroom, then we had a child seat for
the main commode. She was so proud of herself, and there was no separation
between pee-pee readiness and pooping readiness if YKWIM. She would loudly
announce, "I have a poopoo in my butt" before running to her potty.
Being dry overnight took longer, and I bought a couple of washable &
reusable underpads for my side of the bed for when she was willing to sleep
without a diaper. (We used cloth) For a while she would wait until morning
to pee in her diaper then say she was wet.
Over the course of almost a year she went from 60 diapers a week, to never
wetting the bed, or having any accidents - utterly painlessly. Considering
the astonishing size of the poops she began making around the age of 3, I
have never been so grateful for anything in my life! Probably more info than
was needed.
We don't use "rewards" as behavior motivation at any time here.
Robyn L. Coburn
<<<My son is 2.5 yrs. and using diapers. I purchased a child's potty about a
year ago and over the past year we have talked some about it, occassionally
read The Potty Book, and have off and on asked Sam if he would like to try
using it (it has used it on occassion--more often he opts not to). I am fine
with this and have a feeling that when he his ready to use the potty more he
just will. Does this seem realistic?>>>
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.707 / Virus Database: 463 - Release Date: 6/15/2004
[email protected]
Despite constant "advice" from others, I chose to just never mention the idea
to either of my children. My son started, completely on his own some where
around 2 years old. He would just get up and walk to the bthrm on his own.
The first time I was absolutely shocked.... and after that he went when he had
too. It took longer for bm's, but he did it with no prodding from me.
My daughter took much longer. She was 3.5 years old. But again, no prodding
from me. Similar to 2 other stories from members here... we were camping,
and she was swimming. She had to go, so I took her. Once we got home, still in
her diapers, she would just stop what she was doing and tell me, "I have to
go tinkles mommy!" and we'd go. I never had potty seats for my son, but one
thing I did get for my daughter was the mini seat to fit the big toilet. She
was always scared she was going to fall in!
Emily
Wife to Chris, Mom to Joshua (8) and Stephanie (3)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
to either of my children. My son started, completely on his own some where
around 2 years old. He would just get up and walk to the bthrm on his own.
The first time I was absolutely shocked.... and after that he went when he had
too. It took longer for bm's, but he did it with no prodding from me.
My daughter took much longer. She was 3.5 years old. But again, no prodding
from me. Similar to 2 other stories from members here... we were camping,
and she was swimming. She had to go, so I took her. Once we got home, still in
her diapers, she would just stop what she was doing and tell me, "I have to
go tinkles mommy!" and we'd go. I never had potty seats for my son, but one
thing I did get for my daughter was the mini seat to fit the big toilet. She
was always scared she was going to fall in!
Emily
Wife to Chris, Mom to Joshua (8) and Stephanie (3)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mamaaj2000
--- In [email protected], "Betsy and Chris"
<canderson51@c...> wrote:
2.5 is still pretty young, esp. for a boy, IMHO. I think that with
today's diapers doing such a good job of keeping kids feeling dry,
they have less incentive to start using the potty _consistantly_.
(Many kids start trying it out, but that's different than the
attitude of "I'm not going in my diaper/pull-up/underwear anymore.)
Seems like lots of our parents and parents of older kids don't
realize this difference and just think "kids these days" are spoiled,
lazy, whatever.
Mikey (3.5) likes the idea of underwear, but then won't go to the
bathroom on a regular basis, gets mad if I ask him to go, goes in the
underwear and then gets upset at me having to change him. We'll do
this 2-3 times and then he decides he wants pull-ups again. Then a
few weeks later he sees the underwear on the shelf and we do it again.
I really have to struggle not to get annoyed, so I'm really okay with
waiting!
--aj
<canderson51@c...> wrote:
> I hope this is OK to post to the list--I would really value yourinput!
>Betsy,
> My son is 2.5 yrs. and using diapers.
2.5 is still pretty young, esp. for a boy, IMHO. I think that with
today's diapers doing such a good job of keeping kids feeling dry,
they have less incentive to start using the potty _consistantly_.
(Many kids start trying it out, but that's different than the
attitude of "I'm not going in my diaper/pull-up/underwear anymore.)
Seems like lots of our parents and parents of older kids don't
realize this difference and just think "kids these days" are spoiled,
lazy, whatever.
Mikey (3.5) likes the idea of underwear, but then won't go to the
bathroom on a regular basis, gets mad if I ask him to go, goes in the
underwear and then gets upset at me having to change him. We'll do
this 2-3 times and then he decides he wants pull-ups again. Then a
few weeks later he sees the underwear on the shelf and we do it again.
I really have to struggle not to get annoyed, so I'm really okay with
waiting!
--aj
Jillian Mandala
Our 3.5 year old son just started and he just decided to wear underwear.
His older brother was the same way. When I would start to get frustrated
with the whole "potty" thing I would just think back to what my mom told
me. She said "Just think of it this way by next year he will probably
not be wearing diapers anymore so don't worry about it". That's helped
me a lot because it reminds me that diapers won't last forever so I
should just chill out and enjoy the time I have with him still being
young and not sweat the small stuff. :-) He has an accident at least
once a day but all we do is get a new pair of underwear. We don't scold
or take things away. We just tell him it happens and it's nothing to
worry about. Ok back to lurking again I go :-)
-Jillian
-----Original Message-----
From: mamaaj2000 [mailto:mamaaj2000@...]
Sent: Saturday, June 26, 2004 8:14 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: Potty "Training"
Betsy,
2.5 is still pretty young, esp. for a boy, IMHO. I think that with
today's diapers doing such a good job of keeping kids feeling dry,
they have less incentive to start using the potty _consistantly_.
(Many kids start trying it out, but that's different than the
attitude of "I'm not going in my diaper/pull-up/underwear anymore.)
Seems like lots of our parents and parents of older kids don't
realize this difference and just think "kids these days" are spoiled,
lazy, whatever.
Mikey (3.5) likes the idea of underwear, but then won't go to the
bathroom on a regular basis, gets mad if I ask him to go, goes in the
underwear and then gets upset at me having to change him. We'll do
this 2-3 times and then he decides he wants pull-ups again. Then a
few weeks later he sees the underwear on the shelf and we do it again.
I really have to struggle not to get annoyed, so I'm really okay with
waiting!
--aj
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His older brother was the same way. When I would start to get frustrated
with the whole "potty" thing I would just think back to what my mom told
me. She said "Just think of it this way by next year he will probably
not be wearing diapers anymore so don't worry about it". That's helped
me a lot because it reminds me that diapers won't last forever so I
should just chill out and enjoy the time I have with him still being
young and not sweat the small stuff. :-) He has an accident at least
once a day but all we do is get a new pair of underwear. We don't scold
or take things away. We just tell him it happens and it's nothing to
worry about. Ok back to lurking again I go :-)
-Jillian
-----Original Message-----
From: mamaaj2000 [mailto:mamaaj2000@...]
Sent: Saturday, June 26, 2004 8:14 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: Potty "Training"
Betsy,
2.5 is still pretty young, esp. for a boy, IMHO. I think that with
today's diapers doing such a good job of keeping kids feeling dry,
they have less incentive to start using the potty _consistantly_.
(Many kids start trying it out, but that's different than the
attitude of "I'm not going in my diaper/pull-up/underwear anymore.)
Seems like lots of our parents and parents of older kids don't
realize this difference and just think "kids these days" are spoiled,
lazy, whatever.
Mikey (3.5) likes the idea of underwear, but then won't go to the
bathroom on a regular basis, gets mad if I ask him to go, goes in the
underwear and then gets upset at me having to change him. We'll do
this 2-3 times and then he decides he wants pull-ups again. Then a
few weeks later he sees the underwear on the shelf and we do it again.
I really have to struggle not to get annoyed, so I'm really okay with
waiting!
--aj
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
<http://us.ard.yahoo.com/SIG=129l8qus3/M=295196.4901138.6071305.3001176/
D=groups/S=1705081972:HM/EXP=1088342037/A=2128215/R=0/SIG=10se96mf6/*htt
p:/companion.yahoo.com> click here
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s/S=:HM/A=2128215/rand=587596547>
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/25/2004 11:03:41 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
canderson51@... writes:
I don't care for much of the "training" advice I've come across (stickers,
food rewards, constant reminders with timers, etc.)--it doesn't seem to fit
us. But, I haven't really heard an "unschooling" or child-led approach to this
particular issue.
Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated!
<<<<
Time and patience.
I used to joke that I would NOT let Cameron be potty trained until he was
six. That way I would stop worrying when he *wasn't* pottty-trained by three. I
didn't---and wouldn't----get upset about the diapering----I'd just keep
plugging along, figuring he would be six before he gave it up.
Then we were moving from Germany to St Louis; he was 2.5. He started to get
interested in the toilet and in potty-training. Damn! I was moving us to the
states; we'd have no house for 6-8 weeks; we'd be travelling from IL to SC to
IL by cars and by planes; I *needed* him to stay in diapers. He'd have
nothing to do with my plan and potty-trained himself in just a few days.
I'd say: resign yourself to changing diapers until he's six. He'll
undoubtably potty-train himself before that whether *you're* ready or not! <BWG>
~Kelly
P.S. Same with reading and math and eating vegetables and....... <g>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
canderson51@... writes:
I don't care for much of the "training" advice I've come across (stickers,
food rewards, constant reminders with timers, etc.)--it doesn't seem to fit
us. But, I haven't really heard an "unschooling" or child-led approach to this
particular issue.
Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated!
<<<<
Time and patience.
I used to joke that I would NOT let Cameron be potty trained until he was
six. That way I would stop worrying when he *wasn't* pottty-trained by three. I
didn't---and wouldn't----get upset about the diapering----I'd just keep
plugging along, figuring he would be six before he gave it up.
Then we were moving from Germany to St Louis; he was 2.5. He started to get
interested in the toilet and in potty-training. Damn! I was moving us to the
states; we'd have no house for 6-8 weeks; we'd be travelling from IL to SC to
IL by cars and by planes; I *needed* him to stay in diapers. He'd have
nothing to do with my plan and potty-trained himself in just a few days.
I'd say: resign yourself to changing diapers until he's six. He'll
undoubtably potty-train himself before that whether *you're* ready or not! <BWG>
~Kelly
P.S. Same with reading and math and eating vegetables and....... <g>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
christy_imnotred
--- In [email protected], "Betsy and Chris"
<canderson51@c...> wrote:
doesn't seem to fit us. But, I haven't really heard an "unschooling"
or child-led approach to this particular issue.
we unschooled potty going, he was certainly never trained. We didn't
do stickers, or timers, or making him sit until he went. He knew
what the potty was for, he went with me every time I went (still
does, somedays I long to pee in private). He knew what pee and poop
were but he wasn't interested in using the potty for a long time.
Then one day he wanted to wear underwear (we had had them for almost
a year) so I told him that he couldn't pee or poop in underwear and
would have to use the potty. He agreed and that was that. We had a
few accidents and I just changed his pants and we went on with life,
no punishment or anger. We did go through a short period where he
would wet his pants on purpose because he was in the middle of a
computer game and didn't want to stop, that was a little tougher, but
luckily a short stage.
I tell everyone he trained himself, I just gave him the time to
decide he was ready. It was all amazingly painless. I see friends
struggling with complicated training plans and just don't get it. I
usually advise that if they wait it will all be much easier. Some
decide to, many don't.
Christy
<canderson51@c...> wrote:
>(stickers, food rewards, constant reminders with timers, etc.)--it
> I don't care for much of the "training" advice I've come across
doesn't seem to fit us. But, I haven't really heard an "unschooling"
or child-led approach to this particular issue.
>My son starting using the potty consistently around 3.75 yo. I guess
> Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated!
>
we unschooled potty going, he was certainly never trained. We didn't
do stickers, or timers, or making him sit until he went. He knew
what the potty was for, he went with me every time I went (still
does, somedays I long to pee in private). He knew what pee and poop
were but he wasn't interested in using the potty for a long time.
Then one day he wanted to wear underwear (we had had them for almost
a year) so I told him that he couldn't pee or poop in underwear and
would have to use the potty. He agreed and that was that. We had a
few accidents and I just changed his pants and we went on with life,
no punishment or anger. We did go through a short period where he
would wet his pants on purpose because he was in the middle of a
computer game and didn't want to stop, that was a little tougher, but
luckily a short stage.
I tell everyone he trained himself, I just gave him the time to
decide he was ready. It was all amazingly painless. I see friends
struggling with complicated training plans and just don't get it. I
usually advise that if they wait it will all be much easier. Some
decide to, many don't.
Christy
Shelley Johnson
When I was ready to potty train my son I read an article in Dallas Child
called, Naked and Seventy-five. It said to let them run around naked. When
they pottied it would run down their legs and they don't like that. We did
this in the back yard during the summer. The seventy-five was for the
carpet cleaning afterward. I just loved that advice. The one draw back was
he went number two in the front one day. I love little ones.
Shelley
called, Naked and Seventy-five. It said to let them run around naked. When
they pottied it would run down their legs and they don't like that. We did
this in the back yard during the summer. The seventy-five was for the
carpet cleaning afterward. I just loved that advice. The one draw back was
he went number two in the front one day. I love little ones.
Shelley
----- Original Message -----
From: <kbcdlovejo@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Saturday, June 26, 2004 10:02 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Potty "Training"
>
> In a message dated 6/25/2004 11:03:41 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
> canderson51@... writes:
>
> I don't care for much of the "training" advice I've come across
(stickers,
> food rewards, constant reminders with timers, etc.)--it doesn't seem to
fit
> us. But, I haven't really heard an "unschooling" or child-led approach to
this
> particular issue.
>
> Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated!
>
>
>
> <<<<
>
>
> Time and patience.
>
> I used to joke that I would NOT let Cameron be potty trained until he was
> six. That way I would stop worrying when he *wasn't* pottty-trained by
three. I
> didn't---and wouldn't----get upset about the diapering----I'd just keep
> plugging along, figuring he would be six before he gave it up.
>
> Then we were moving from Germany to St Louis; he was 2.5. He started to
get
> interested in the toilet and in potty-training. Damn! I was moving us to
the
> states; we'd have no house for 6-8 weeks; we'd be travelling from IL to
SC to
> IL by cars and by planes; I *needed* him to stay in diapers. He'd have
> nothing to do with my plan and potty-trained himself in just a few days.
>
> I'd say: resign yourself to changing diapers until he's six. He'll
> undoubtably potty-train himself before that whether *you're* ready or not!
<BWG>
>
> ~Kelly
>
> P.S. Same with reading and math and eating vegetables and....... <g>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
Ali Kat
For my daughter, trying to schedule her or time her, reward her, etc... did nothing but frustrate her and me. As hard as it was sometimes to deal with her being in diapers (read "inconvenient" to me...), and as hard as it was to deal with the nosy and annoying opinions of those who said "my child was potty trained at 9 months" etc... I decided it just wasn't worth it. So I quit the hassle, enjoyed the time spent changing and diapering her as our time, took hope at the times she tried the potty on her own, and when one day she magicly decided she was done with diapers I rejoiced in her decision. It was so much more easier and less stressful than trying to force her - also, her personality is such that the more you push your wants the less she will respond. She was 3 1/2 before she was completely out of diapers. Due to some genetic and medical problems she had trouble with bedwetting until she was 5ish, but that couldn't be helped by her.
Offer the potty as a choice, but if he refuses go with it. He'll do it when he is completely ready. Also, be prepared for all the advice and "my child"s you are bound to get from friends, family, and complete strangers.... LOL. I don't know about you, but a lot of times I just found it simple to smile and nod and keep doing what I was doing anyways.
Alicia
Betsy and Chris <canderson51@...> wrote:
I hope this is OK to post to the list--I would really value your input!
My son is 2.5 yrs. and using diapers. I purchased a child's potty about a year ago and over the past year we have talked some about it, occassionally read The Potty Book, and have off and on asked Sam if he would like to try using it (it has used it on occassion--more often he opts not to). I am fine with this and have a feeling that when he his ready to use the potty more he just will. Does this seem realistic?
I don't care for much of the "training" advice I've come across (stickers, food rewards, constant reminders with timers, etc.)--it doesn't seem to fit us. But, I haven't really heard an "unschooling" or child-led approach to this particular issue.
Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks,
Betsy
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Offer the potty as a choice, but if he refuses go with it. He'll do it when he is completely ready. Also, be prepared for all the advice and "my child"s you are bound to get from friends, family, and complete strangers.... LOL. I don't know about you, but a lot of times I just found it simple to smile and nod and keep doing what I was doing anyways.
Alicia
Betsy and Chris <canderson51@...> wrote:
I hope this is OK to post to the list--I would really value your input!
My son is 2.5 yrs. and using diapers. I purchased a child's potty about a year ago and over the past year we have talked some about it, occassionally read The Potty Book, and have off and on asked Sam if he would like to try using it (it has used it on occassion--more often he opts not to). I am fine with this and have a feeling that when he his ready to use the potty more he just will. Does this seem realistic?
I don't care for much of the "training" advice I've come across (stickers, food rewards, constant reminders with timers, etc.)--it doesn't seem to fit us. But, I haven't really heard an "unschooling" or child-led approach to this particular issue.
Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks,
Betsy
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Ali Kat
<<<Good news! Thanks all! I suspected that there would be a natural time where he would just transfer. There is so much emphasis out there about doing this or doing that to make this transition happen that I began to question whether or not it would just come about on its own. We will carry on and follow his cues.<<<<<
I never could understand this... Why is there so much pressure and rules with life?? Who has the right to tell you you should learn XYZ by such and such age?? And why are you a failure if you don't?? I don't know calculus, I've never had a need to learn or a want to learn. Does that make me less worthy as a person that I don't have calculus on my college transcript? I could go back to school and take it, but to what end? Why should potty training be any different? How is a child that pottys at 3 1/2 less good or worthy than a child who manages at 18 mos? It just makes them different, and different is good.
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I never could understand this... Why is there so much pressure and rules with life?? Who has the right to tell you you should learn XYZ by such and such age?? And why are you a failure if you don't?? I don't know calculus, I've never had a need to learn or a want to learn. Does that make me less worthy as a person that I don't have calculus on my college transcript? I could go back to school and take it, but to what end? Why should potty training be any different? How is a child that pottys at 3 1/2 less good or worthy than a child who manages at 18 mos? It just makes them different, and different is good.
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Ali Kat
<<<When they pottied it would run down their legs and they don't like that. *** The one draw back was he went number two in the front one day. <<<
The good thing is that you could just hose him down afterwards... ;-) j/k
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The good thing is that you could just hose him down afterwards... ;-) j/k
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Urchins3...SlackersRWe.
Hi Betsy,
I agree wit everyone's advice ... but I also wanted to add that we had
success with 'The Once Upon a Potty' video and book. After watching the
video and reading the book, our ZZ (now 5) was using the potty during the
day with Pull Ups at nite (just in case). I'm not sure if it was the video -
or (more than likely) she was just ready.
Good Luck. And trust your instincts.
..Toodles
Robin...
SaH*Mompreneur to DD (17),
Alyssaur (14), BurgerBoy (13) and ZZ (5)
Urchins3... SlackersRWe...
Urchins3@...
I agree wit everyone's advice ... but I also wanted to add that we had
success with 'The Once Upon a Potty' video and book. After watching the
video and reading the book, our ZZ (now 5) was using the potty during the
day with Pull Ups at nite (just in case). I'm not sure if it was the video -
or (more than likely) she was just ready.
Good Luck. And trust your instincts.
..Toodles
Robin...
SaH*Mompreneur to DD (17),
Alyssaur (14), BurgerBoy (13) and ZZ (5)
Urchins3... SlackersRWe...
Urchins3@...
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/26/04 4:02:56 PM, sweetgypsiedncer@... writes:
<< Does that make me less worthy as a person that I don't have calculus on my
college transcript? I could go back to school and take it, but to what end?
Why should potty training be any different? >>
Because they don't offer it in college?
<bwg; ducking and running>
I agree with people who've said it will come.
Diapers probably compound the problem, but the realities of our houses,
carpeting, upholstered carseats and the expectation that kids will wear clothes (or
the need, in cold climates) really changes the realities of kids learning.
There are more and more Western parents learning to do whatever it is in
India, where babies don't wear diapers and they use the potty (which in India is a
squat-potty, but they have a trick where the kid uses the mom's feet,
because women in India wear shoes they can slip off...) I had a boyfriend who'd
grown up in India, which is why I first knew about it, but one of the moms local
to me is doing it with a really small baby and it's working for them! I
don't know the details, but I bet somone here could offer a website. It's for
starting with infants, not for transferring to, I bet, but I'm not positive.
Sandra
<< Does that make me less worthy as a person that I don't have calculus on my
college transcript? I could go back to school and take it, but to what end?
Why should potty training be any different? >>
Because they don't offer it in college?
<bwg; ducking and running>
I agree with people who've said it will come.
Diapers probably compound the problem, but the realities of our houses,
carpeting, upholstered carseats and the expectation that kids will wear clothes (or
the need, in cold climates) really changes the realities of kids learning.
There are more and more Western parents learning to do whatever it is in
India, where babies don't wear diapers and they use the potty (which in India is a
squat-potty, but they have a trick where the kid uses the mom's feet,
because women in India wear shoes they can slip off...) I had a boyfriend who'd
grown up in India, which is why I first knew about it, but one of the moms local
to me is doing it with a really small baby and it's working for them! I
don't know the details, but I bet somone here could offer a website. It's for
starting with infants, not for transferring to, I bet, but I'm not positive.
Sandra
Dawn Adams
Sandra writes:
There are more and more Western parents learning to do whatever it is in
India, where babies don't wear diapers and they use the potty (which in India is a
squat-potty, but they have a trick where the kid uses the mom's feet,
because women in India wear shoes they can slip off...) I had a boyfriend who'd
grown up in India, which is why I first knew about it, but one of the moms local
to me is doing it with a really small baby and it's working for them! I
don't know the details, but I bet somone here could offer a website. It's for
starting with infants, not for transferring to, I bet, but I'm not positive.
http://www.timl.com/ipt/
Dawn (in NS)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
There are more and more Western parents learning to do whatever it is in
India, where babies don't wear diapers and they use the potty (which in India is a
squat-potty, but they have a trick where the kid uses the mom's feet,
because women in India wear shoes they can slip off...) I had a boyfriend who'd
grown up in India, which is why I first knew about it, but one of the moms local
to me is doing it with a really small baby and it's working for them! I
don't know the details, but I bet somone here could offer a website. It's for
starting with infants, not for transferring to, I bet, but I'm not positive.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Here's one I found and yes, it's for infants. It almost makes me want to have another baby so I could try it. Almost. :)
http://www.timl.com/ipt/
Dawn (in NS)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/28/04 9:27:07 AM, Wishbone@... writes:
<< http://www.timl.com/ipt/ >>
Thanks!
I liked this part:
Read this article in these languages:
Italian
French
Chinese (Mandarin)
Russian
Dutch
Spanish
Danish
Portuguese
Well, I liked lots of it. <g>
Good old India.
One billion people can't be wrong.
(At least not all of them. At least not all the moms. <g>)
Sandra
<< http://www.timl.com/ipt/ >>
Thanks!
I liked this part:
Read this article in these languages:
Italian
French
Chinese (Mandarin)
Russian
Dutch
Spanish
Danish
Portuguese
Well, I liked lots of it. <g>
Good old India.
One billion people can't be wrong.
(At least not all of them. At least not all the moms. <g>)
Sandra
Ali Kat
SandraDodd@... wrote:
In a message dated 6/26/04 4:02:56 PM, sweetgypsiedncer@... writes:
<< Does that make me less worthy as a person that I don't have calculus on my
college transcript? I could go back to school and take it, but to what end?
Why should potty training be any different? >>
Because they don't offer it in college?
<bwg; ducking and running>
Really?? Than what is the big deal?? Sheesh! LOL LOL LOL
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In a message dated 6/26/04 4:02:56 PM, sweetgypsiedncer@... writes:
<< Does that make me less worthy as a person that I don't have calculus on my
college transcript? I could go back to school and take it, but to what end?
Why should potty training be any different? >>
Because they don't offer it in college?
<bwg; ducking and running>
Really?? Than what is the big deal?? Sheesh! LOL LOL LOL
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AM Brown
Diaper Free is a book by Ingrid Bauer. EC (Elimination Communication) is best started from birth but I have known people to begin as late as 9 - 12 months. The fist site is Ingrid Bauer's, the second is a mom's site that has used this method. It is really just another extension of attachment parenting.
Anna
http://www.natural-wisdom.com/
http://www.freewebs.com/freetoec/
but I bet someone here could offer a website. It's for
starting with infants, not for transferring to, I bet, but I'm not positive.
http://www.timl.com/ipt/
Dawn (in NS)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Anna
http://www.natural-wisdom.com/
http://www.freewebs.com/freetoec/
but I bet someone here could offer a website. It's for
starting with infants, not for transferring to, I bet, but I'm not positive.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Here's one I found and yes, it's for infants. It almost makes me want to have another baby so I could try it. Almost. :)
http://www.timl.com/ipt/
Dawn (in NS)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/26/2004 12:37:42 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
jillbo@... writes:
one of Wyl's rare episodes of spending the night at my mom's house, (in his
period of learning to use the potty) he had an accident on her year-old couch
and she had a fit! (He was about 3 1/2) She yelled and screamed at him and made
a huge deal about it being a "new" couch! I was very upset-especially that
she felt that a stupid couch was more important than her grandson! We ended up
having to take him to the emergency room the next afternoon-he had a bladder
infection! Did she ever appologise for her behavoir? Nope. And she still has
this "thing" for her couch-now 3 years old-how he can't put his feet on it, sit
sideways on it, bounce (even gently) on it, etc.
He only had one or 2 accidents after the couch episode, and has always been
horrified and embarrassed (I'm not sure exactly what my mother said to him, as
I wasn't there), and we have always tried to gently reassure him that everyone
has accidents and that it is OK to have accidents-I don't think he really
believed us... Until one day I had a full bladder and sneezed-and had a little
accident of my own! I made sure he was aware of it, and went about cleaning up
without "beating myself up" over it-just "took care of business" while I
reminded him that I had told him that EVERYONE has accidents at least once in their
lives. He studied me for several minutes and has never had an accident since
then, but I've also never seen another time where he's felt ashamed about
anything, so I'm hoping he feels that he shouldn't be ashamed for an accident.
Neat thread!
Peace,
Sang
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jillbo@... writes:
> He has an accident at leastYes, we had a lot of trouble with the "shame" of accidents-I think because on
> once a day but all we do is get a new pair of underwear. We don't scold
> or take things away. We just tell him it happens and it's nothing to
> worry about.
one of Wyl's rare episodes of spending the night at my mom's house, (in his
period of learning to use the potty) he had an accident on her year-old couch
and she had a fit! (He was about 3 1/2) She yelled and screamed at him and made
a huge deal about it being a "new" couch! I was very upset-especially that
she felt that a stupid couch was more important than her grandson! We ended up
having to take him to the emergency room the next afternoon-he had a bladder
infection! Did she ever appologise for her behavoir? Nope. And she still has
this "thing" for her couch-now 3 years old-how he can't put his feet on it, sit
sideways on it, bounce (even gently) on it, etc.
He only had one or 2 accidents after the couch episode, and has always been
horrified and embarrassed (I'm not sure exactly what my mother said to him, as
I wasn't there), and we have always tried to gently reassure him that everyone
has accidents and that it is OK to have accidents-I don't think he really
believed us... Until one day I had a full bladder and sneezed-and had a little
accident of my own! I made sure he was aware of it, and went about cleaning up
without "beating myself up" over it-just "took care of business" while I
reminded him that I had told him that EVERYONE has accidents at least once in their
lives. He studied me for several minutes and has never had an accident since
then, but I've also never seen another time where he's felt ashamed about
anything, so I'm hoping he feels that he shouldn't be ashamed for an accident.
Neat thread!
Peace,
Sang
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
profjen1
We put Pull-Ups on over the "big kid" undies when we needed to be
somewhere an accident would cause embarassment, a scene, damage, or a
bio-waste to clean up (which I feel is unfair to retail clerks, who
are neither paid enough, nor equipped to handle human waste).
~PJ
tell him it happens and it's nothing to> > worry about.
Sanguinegirl83@a... wrote:
mom's house, (in his > period of learning to use the potty) he had an
accident on her year-old couch > and she had a fit!
somewhere an accident would cause embarassment, a scene, damage, or a
bio-waste to clean up (which I feel is unfair to retail clerks, who
are neither paid enough, nor equipped to handle human waste).
~PJ
> jillbo@d... writes:new pair of underwear. We don't scold> > or take things away. We just
> > He has an accident at least> > once a day but all we do is get a
tell him it happens and it's nothing to> > worry about.
Sanguinegirl83@a... wrote:
> Yes, we had a lot of trouble with the "shame" of accidents-I thinkbecause on > one of Wyl's rare episodes of spending the night at my
mom's house, (in his > period of learning to use the potty) he had an
accident on her year-old couch > and she had a fit!
> Sang
Ali Kat
>>>>> and we have always tried to gently reassure him that everyone has accidents and that it is OK to have accidents-I don't think he really believed us... I had told him that EVERYONE has accidents at least once in their lives.>>>>My daughter went through a similar thing because of family/stranger opinions/advice (don't 'cha just love how everyone feels they can tell you how to parent or handle your child???)... She still has accidents with her bowels, but it is a medical problem - not inattention, immaturity, or bad behavior. She had a hard time until she spent some time with my mother who had a bad case of food poisoning once... after that she realized even adults have accidents, and that she shouldn't be ashamed. I also have a weak bladder when I sneeze... with allergies, it's fun fun... lol
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