Re: Allowances, etc.
Brenda Rose
Glena's example of a new baseball glove made me think of the old song "Cat's
in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin. The dad bought the boy a new baseball
glove, but then never had time to play catch with him - too busy making
money. That song has always made me cry, even before I had kids. Over the
years I've tried to keep its message in mind, so have bought special things
or classes for the kids when we had the money but also tried hard to spend
much time with them. Really that's the reason we began homeschooling - to
have more time with our children so that they wouldn't become grown and
gone, strangers to us.
The discussion also reminded me of the poem about "Handprints on the Wall."
Same idea - other things can become so important to parents that they stop
seeing their children. A clean house becomes priority over the spending
time together and having fun, enjoying our children while they're home with
us (or later when they come back to visit).
Brenda
in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin. The dad bought the boy a new baseball
glove, but then never had time to play catch with him - too busy making
money. That song has always made me cry, even before I had kids. Over the
years I've tried to keep its message in mind, so have bought special things
or classes for the kids when we had the money but also tried hard to spend
much time with them. Really that's the reason we began homeschooling - to
have more time with our children so that they wouldn't become grown and
gone, strangers to us.
The discussion also reminded me of the poem about "Handprints on the Wall."
Same idea - other things can become so important to parents that they stop
seeing their children. A clean house becomes priority over the spending
time together and having fun, enjoying our children while they're home with
us (or later when they come back to visit).
Brenda
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/22/2004 8:05:15 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
rosebl@... writes:
<< A clean house becomes priority over the spending
time together and having fun, enjoying our children while they're home with
us (or later when they come back to visit). >>
Just back from a five day visit to MIL. We stayed at a hotel. Half hour
away. Too much trouble for all of us to be at her house. For HER. She doesn't
want to have to clean up after any one. She wants her house to look perfect
in case someone drops by... HELLO, we are dropping by... about once a year
lately is all...
She doesn't want anyone to eat there because a meal for that MANY makes too
much of a mess, so "try to get something to eat before you come over" is what
we hear.
It's sad. I would be APPALLED if my children ever came home to visit from a
many hours drive and stayed in a hotel. I would be shocked if they ate
elsewhere while home visiting.
Ten years ago or so we visited and when we got over there, the kids saw piles
and piles of pretty pink and yellow and blue cupcakes sitting all over the
counters. Of course they ask their Granny if they can have one. She said NO,
they are for my Sunday School class tomorrow, I like to spoil them.
I had to try to come up with an explanation as to why Granny doesn't like to
spoil them. There were more than enough cupcakes btw, I think she just wanted
even the very young of the family to know their place in her life.
Now they know it well. She's taught them they don't matter to her. She
doesn't matter so much to them after twenty some years or so of being taught that.
I think it's very sad. Things being more important than people.
I figure one day I'll have plenty of time to clean and paint and redo the
house if that's what I really want to do, right now time with my children is
limited. One day they will have SO that occupy their world full time. Now I'm
just happy they choose to be with me and around me.
glena
rosebl@... writes:
<< A clean house becomes priority over the spending
time together and having fun, enjoying our children while they're home with
us (or later when they come back to visit). >>
Just back from a five day visit to MIL. We stayed at a hotel. Half hour
away. Too much trouble for all of us to be at her house. For HER. She doesn't
want to have to clean up after any one. She wants her house to look perfect
in case someone drops by... HELLO, we are dropping by... about once a year
lately is all...
She doesn't want anyone to eat there because a meal for that MANY makes too
much of a mess, so "try to get something to eat before you come over" is what
we hear.
It's sad. I would be APPALLED if my children ever came home to visit from a
many hours drive and stayed in a hotel. I would be shocked if they ate
elsewhere while home visiting.
Ten years ago or so we visited and when we got over there, the kids saw piles
and piles of pretty pink and yellow and blue cupcakes sitting all over the
counters. Of course they ask their Granny if they can have one. She said NO,
they are for my Sunday School class tomorrow, I like to spoil them.
I had to try to come up with an explanation as to why Granny doesn't like to
spoil them. There were more than enough cupcakes btw, I think she just wanted
even the very young of the family to know their place in her life.
Now they know it well. She's taught them they don't matter to her. She
doesn't matter so much to them after twenty some years or so of being taught that.
I think it's very sad. Things being more important than people.
I figure one day I'll have plenty of time to clean and paint and redo the
house if that's what I really want to do, right now time with my children is
limited. One day they will have SO that occupy their world full time. Now I'm
just happy they choose to be with me and around me.
glena