Rebeca Zavaleta

I loved Sandra’s advice about telling fighting kids that it is a parent’s
commitment to keep kids safe and at peace at home, even from verbal abuse
from a sibling. My 7yr old and 3 ½ year old sometimes get in territorial
fights or seek my attention when it is directed elsewhere (phone, speaking
with another adult). We’ve recently split them up so that now they have
their own bedrooms (our den and office space were sacrificed) because the 3
yr. old only sleeps 5 hours a night and keeps the older one awake,
constantly wanting the other to play with him. So the torment goes both
ways. The fights have diminished slightly, but still, I also feel that my
approach needs to be retooled.

My older son is very emphatic towards animals : less so with his little
brother (unless he is physically hurt, falls down, etc… then he rushes in
with band-aids and ice), situational empathy – I don’t think he gets that
yet.

Rebeca Z.



Sandra wrote:

If you want a tender, gentle suggestion, sit with him and ask if he
remembers any times when someone said something mean to him when he was
little or called him a name he still remembers. If he comes up with one,
discuss being sad that it happened, and you wish you could undo it, but
those things can't be undone at all. "No backsies" on names once uttered.




Maybe you can stir his empathy that way.





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