Telling about baby
[email protected]
I'm not sure if this is an unschooling related question or not, but as it
pertains to Wyl learning about the baby-to-be, I'm thinking it probably is.
Dave and I told Wyl last night about the impending baby sister or brother and
he is excited-he's wanted a baby sister for more than half of his life. I'm
wondering how to present things to him to prepare him for how things will be
after the baby gets here. I'm thinking I want to present things "equally" a
positive and a not-so-positive together so that it comes together balanced. Such
as: having someone to share things with AND not as much one-on-one time with
mama and daddy. We don't want him to be unpleasantly surprised at the
not-so-positive stuff, but we don't want him to dreading the baby coming, either-kind
of a balanced (if that is possible) view... We're plannig on getting a
babydoll to practice holding/diapering/feeding with and plenty of books and pictures
(movies if we can find any) on the technical stuff, but are concerned with the
presentation of the day-to-day life of baby reality. He's five, by the way,
and will be just over 5 1/2 by the time the due date rolls around. Any
suggestions? Thanks!
Síocháin ar domhan,
Sang
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pertains to Wyl learning about the baby-to-be, I'm thinking it probably is.
Dave and I told Wyl last night about the impending baby sister or brother and
he is excited-he's wanted a baby sister for more than half of his life. I'm
wondering how to present things to him to prepare him for how things will be
after the baby gets here. I'm thinking I want to present things "equally" a
positive and a not-so-positive together so that it comes together balanced. Such
as: having someone to share things with AND not as much one-on-one time with
mama and daddy. We don't want him to be unpleasantly surprised at the
not-so-positive stuff, but we don't want him to dreading the baby coming, either-kind
of a balanced (if that is possible) view... We're plannig on getting a
babydoll to practice holding/diapering/feeding with and plenty of books and pictures
(movies if we can find any) on the technical stuff, but are concerned with the
presentation of the day-to-day life of baby reality. He's five, by the way,
and will be just over 5 1/2 by the time the due date rolls around. Any
suggestions? Thanks!
Síocháin ar domhan,
Sang
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sheila Terry
I just reread Siblings Without Rivalry, I think if you read that it would help you alot with ways to talk to him about the baby.
Sheila
I'm thinking I want to present things "equally" a
positive and a not-so-positive together so that it comes together balanced. Such
as: having someone to share things with AND not as much one-on-one time with
mama and daddy. We don't want him to be unpleasantly surprised at the
not-so-positive stuff, but we don't want him to dreading the baby coming, either-kind
of a balanced (if that is possible) view...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sheila
I'm thinking I want to present things "equally" a
positive and a not-so-positive together so that it comes together balanced. Such
as: having someone to share things with AND not as much one-on-one time with
mama and daddy. We don't want him to be unpleasantly surprised at the
not-so-positive stuff, but we don't want him to dreading the baby coming, either-kind
of a balanced (if that is possible) view...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Julie Bogart
--- In [email protected], Sanguinegirl83@a... wrote:
children's picture books. After ten years of La Leche League work and my five kids (and the
huge number of families I know), the dire predictions of anger and resentment associated
with going from one to two or two to three are much exaggerated.
The best preparation, imho, is enthusisam yourself. Let him in on doctor or midwife visits
when there's a heartbeat to hear, involve him in picking out baby blankets and soft toys,
talk about how he can be a help to you, discuss how your routine will change (perhaps
now story time reading will happen with a baby nursing in one arm...)
Another thing: he won't be sharing his toys for a long long time with a baby. By the time
that happens, the baby won't be new, she will be a fact of his life.
My oldest son had a metal fire truck that he loved. When our daughter was born (literally
days old), he was just over two. One evening, while I was making dinner, I heard a clunk. I
turned around and saw that he had just tossed his truck into the baby's Moses basket
while she slept (thankfully missing her head!).
Some moms might have interpreted that as his resenting his little sister. But what I figured
out immediately is that he *wanted* to share his most valuable toy with his new baby
sister.
He was smiling and peering over the edge.
I spoke to him about saftey and toy choices and thanked him for his heart of generosity. I
was touched.
To sum up - I think kids raised with joy and wonder about new siblings whose mothers are
at home, often have less difficulty with adding new babies than the culture predicts. In
fact, in many cases they love the new babies fiercely.
And secondly, I think the "frustration" of adding a sibling often doesn't occur until the
baby is much older (like toddler age where the toddler can wreck the older sibling's stuff).
Julie B
> I'm not sure if this is an unschooling related question or not, but as itThe idea that kids resent the little brother or sister is mostly a fiction from TV and
> pertains to Wyl learning about the baby-to-be, I'm thinking it probably is.
>
> Dave and I told Wyl last night about the impending baby sister or brother and
> he is excited-he's wanted a baby sister for more than half of his life. I'm
> wondering how to present things to him to prepare him for how things will be
> after the baby gets here.
children's picture books. After ten years of La Leche League work and my five kids (and the
huge number of families I know), the dire predictions of anger and resentment associated
with going from one to two or two to three are much exaggerated.
The best preparation, imho, is enthusisam yourself. Let him in on doctor or midwife visits
when there's a heartbeat to hear, involve him in picking out baby blankets and soft toys,
talk about how he can be a help to you, discuss how your routine will change (perhaps
now story time reading will happen with a baby nursing in one arm...)
Another thing: he won't be sharing his toys for a long long time with a baby. By the time
that happens, the baby won't be new, she will be a fact of his life.
My oldest son had a metal fire truck that he loved. When our daughter was born (literally
days old), he was just over two. One evening, while I was making dinner, I heard a clunk. I
turned around and saw that he had just tossed his truck into the baby's Moses basket
while she slept (thankfully missing her head!).
Some moms might have interpreted that as his resenting his little sister. But what I figured
out immediately is that he *wanted* to share his most valuable toy with his new baby
sister.
He was smiling and peering over the edge.
I spoke to him about saftey and toy choices and thanked him for his heart of generosity. I
was touched.
To sum up - I think kids raised with joy and wonder about new siblings whose mothers are
at home, often have less difficulty with adding new babies than the culture predicts. In
fact, in many cases they love the new babies fiercely.
And secondly, I think the "frustration" of adding a sibling often doesn't occur until the
baby is much older (like toddler age where the toddler can wreck the older sibling's stuff).
Julie B
the_clevengers
--- In [email protected], "Julie Bogart"
<julie@b...> wrote:
overjoyed with his baby sister. Having the sling meant that she came
everywhere we did and so she didn't alter our day-to-day lives all
that much. Nursing times either he nursed too or we read books. All
in all, the early baby phase was a time of unusual closeness and very
sweet attention by him to the baby. He was just the sweetest with
her, it's many of my nicest memories.
I really avoided all the kid's picture books out there that tend to
make it sounds like there's something to be dreaded about having a
baby in the house. It was just part of our life. My son came to the
midwife's appointments with me, and although he had been playing in
our living room with my sister when I was in labor in our bedroom,
about 2 minutes before Asa was born, he turned to my sister and
said "Mom needs me there now, I better go." He came in to the bedroom
and watched the baby being born. And his voice was the first one she
turned to, he was so thrilled with that. I think it's because his
head was at stomach level, so she probably heard his voice in utero
more than anyone else's.
Yep, nodding my head again here. Wreck Lego creations, pull out
chunks of hair, pages off of books, etc. From about 18 to 28 months
was our toughest time. Although there were great times there too. Asa
is really mischievous, and Mackenzie loved egging her on. Still does,
actually ;-) He would just be cracking up at her toddler antics (not
the hair-pulling though).
Blue Skies,
-Robin-
<julie@b...> wrote:
> To sum up - I think kids raised with joy and wonder about newsiblings whose mothers are
> at home, often have less difficulty with adding new babies than theculture predicts. In
> fact, in many cases they love the new babies fiercely.That was exactly our experience. Mackenzie was in awe of, and
overjoyed with his baby sister. Having the sling meant that she came
everywhere we did and so she didn't alter our day-to-day lives all
that much. Nursing times either he nursed too or we read books. All
in all, the early baby phase was a time of unusual closeness and very
sweet attention by him to the baby. He was just the sweetest with
her, it's many of my nicest memories.
I really avoided all the kid's picture books out there that tend to
make it sounds like there's something to be dreaded about having a
baby in the house. It was just part of our life. My son came to the
midwife's appointments with me, and although he had been playing in
our living room with my sister when I was in labor in our bedroom,
about 2 minutes before Asa was born, he turned to my sister and
said "Mom needs me there now, I better go." He came in to the bedroom
and watched the baby being born. And his voice was the first one she
turned to, he was so thrilled with that. I think it's because his
head was at stomach level, so she probably heard his voice in utero
more than anyone else's.
>doesn't occur until the
> And secondly, I think the "frustration" of adding a sibling often
> baby is much older (like toddler age where the toddler can wreckthe older sibling's stuff).
Yep, nodding my head again here. Wreck Lego creations, pull out
chunks of hair, pages off of books, etc. From about 18 to 28 months
was our toughest time. Although there were great times there too. Asa
is really mischievous, and Mackenzie loved egging her on. Still does,
actually ;-) He would just be cracking up at her toddler antics (not
the hair-pulling though).
Blue Skies,
-Robin-
Andrea Burlingame
When Annie was born at home 15 months after Stella, Stella accepted her
instantly. She was young, for one thing, but she was already talking and
was surprizingly rational and we had told her that we would have another
baby in our family for us all to love. I didn't feel it necessary to tell
her that there would be "bad stuff" as well, especially because she was
still so young. She didn't start feeling the "painful" part of having a
sibling until Annie was much older and could wreck her elaborate buildings
and take her toys away while she was playing. By this time, Stella couldn't
even remember a time without Annie, I don't think (especially since Annie
stayed such a baby for a long time--she couldn't crawl until she was a
little over 12 months.)
When I was pregnant with Evan (who was born almost 2 1/2 years after Annie)
I still didn't warn the girls about the possible side-effects of having a
new baby in the house (though others sometimes did: "Mommy's going to be so
busy. Are you going to be a big help to her?). The reason is that I
believe having another baby join our family is a reason to celebrate, not to
worry excessively over. I just didn't want to put negative ideas in the
girls' heads that they wouldn't necessarily feel themselves. Now that he
has been here for a year, they are well aware of how a baby can take up my
time, and how (especially now) they pull hair, etc... We have dealt with
their feelings regarding the baby as they have come up, by listening and
helping them to find ways to get their needs met too, and they do not
question Evan's right to membership in this family. He is simply part of
the family.
I guess I just want to say that I think it's best to not create problems
where there may not be.
~Andrea
P.S. Evan was born at home, too, and my daughter, Stella, who was 3 at the
time, was absolutely fascinated by the whole process, from pre-natal visits
to the midwives and listening to the heartbeat, to her job of discovering
and announcing whether the baby was a girl or boy. My midwives refer to her
as "little midwife" or "our second apprentice." She was always full of
questions about the what the baby looked like inside me at each visit and
such. She was thrilled when she saw he was a boy, saying "Now I have a
brother, too!" And like someone else said about their birth, Stella's was
the first voice Evan turned to, and the one he turned to the most, as well.
instantly. She was young, for one thing, but she was already talking and
was surprizingly rational and we had told her that we would have another
baby in our family for us all to love. I didn't feel it necessary to tell
her that there would be "bad stuff" as well, especially because she was
still so young. She didn't start feeling the "painful" part of having a
sibling until Annie was much older and could wreck her elaborate buildings
and take her toys away while she was playing. By this time, Stella couldn't
even remember a time without Annie, I don't think (especially since Annie
stayed such a baby for a long time--she couldn't crawl until she was a
little over 12 months.)
When I was pregnant with Evan (who was born almost 2 1/2 years after Annie)
I still didn't warn the girls about the possible side-effects of having a
new baby in the house (though others sometimes did: "Mommy's going to be so
busy. Are you going to be a big help to her?). The reason is that I
believe having another baby join our family is a reason to celebrate, not to
worry excessively over. I just didn't want to put negative ideas in the
girls' heads that they wouldn't necessarily feel themselves. Now that he
has been here for a year, they are well aware of how a baby can take up my
time, and how (especially now) they pull hair, etc... We have dealt with
their feelings regarding the baby as they have come up, by listening and
helping them to find ways to get their needs met too, and they do not
question Evan's right to membership in this family. He is simply part of
the family.
I guess I just want to say that I think it's best to not create problems
where there may not be.
~Andrea
P.S. Evan was born at home, too, and my daughter, Stella, who was 3 at the
time, was absolutely fascinated by the whole process, from pre-natal visits
to the midwives and listening to the heartbeat, to her job of discovering
and announcing whether the baby was a girl or boy. My midwives refer to her
as "little midwife" or "our second apprentice." She was always full of
questions about the what the baby looked like inside me at each visit and
such. She was thrilled when she saw he was a boy, saying "Now I have a
brother, too!" And like someone else said about their birth, Stella's was
the first voice Evan turned to, and the one he turned to the most, as well.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sheila Terry" <sheilat111@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, June 10, 2004 4:30 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Telling about baby
> I just reread Siblings Without Rivalry, I think if you read that it would
help you alot with ways to talk to him about the baby.
>
> Sheila
>
> I'm thinking I want to present things "equally" a
> positive and a not-so-positive together so that it comes together
balanced. Such
> as: having someone to share things with AND not as much one-on-one time
with
> mama and daddy. We don't want him to be unpleasantly surprised at the
> not-so-positive stuff, but we don't want him to dreading the baby coming,
either-kind
> of a balanced (if that is possible) view...
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/10/04 7:37:10 AM, julie@... writes:
<< The idea that kids resent the little brother or sister is mostly a fiction
from TV and
children's picture books. After ten years of La Leche League work and my five
kids (and the
huge number of families I know), the dire predictions of anger and resentment
associated
with going from one to two or two to three are much exaggerated. >>
I resented my little sister bigtime.
There are things parents can do to make it much, much worse, too, and my mom
did lots of them.
LLL families tend not to be that way.
Judging all the world by what LLL families try to do is probably worse than
the world judging all families by the mainstream.
-=-The best preparation, imho, is enthusisam yourself. Let him in on doctor
or midwife visits
when there's a heartbeat to hear, involve him in picking out baby blankets
and soft toys,
talk about how he can be a help to you, discuss how your routine will change
(perhaps
now story time reading will happen with a baby nursing in one arm...)-=-
YES.
Which means in part, care about him. Share with him. Have enthusiasm
without being embarrassed about it. Show joy and share joy.
-=-My oldest son had a metal fire truck that he loved. When our daughter was
born (literally
days old), he was just over two. One evening, while I was making dinner, I
heard a clunk. -=-
That happened here, but it wasn't quite a firetruck. I don't remember what
it was, but Kirby did share a toy with an infant Marty in such a way that Marty
probably had a hard time breathing for the first few seconds from the weight
of it. A big plastic I-forget-what. Fisher Price airliner, maybe.
-=-I think kids raised with joy and wonder about new siblings whose mothers
are
at home, often have less difficulty with adding new babies than the culture
predicts. -=-
YES!
The culture finds ways of making its predictions come true. :-/
Sandra
<< The idea that kids resent the little brother or sister is mostly a fiction
from TV and
children's picture books. After ten years of La Leche League work and my five
kids (and the
huge number of families I know), the dire predictions of anger and resentment
associated
with going from one to two or two to three are much exaggerated. >>
I resented my little sister bigtime.
There are things parents can do to make it much, much worse, too, and my mom
did lots of them.
LLL families tend not to be that way.
Judging all the world by what LLL families try to do is probably worse than
the world judging all families by the mainstream.
-=-The best preparation, imho, is enthusisam yourself. Let him in on doctor
or midwife visits
when there's a heartbeat to hear, involve him in picking out baby blankets
and soft toys,
talk about how he can be a help to you, discuss how your routine will change
(perhaps
now story time reading will happen with a baby nursing in one arm...)-=-
YES.
Which means in part, care about him. Share with him. Have enthusiasm
without being embarrassed about it. Show joy and share joy.
-=-My oldest son had a metal fire truck that he loved. When our daughter was
born (literally
days old), he was just over two. One evening, while I was making dinner, I
heard a clunk. -=-
That happened here, but it wasn't quite a firetruck. I don't remember what
it was, but Kirby did share a toy with an infant Marty in such a way that Marty
probably had a hard time breathing for the first few seconds from the weight
of it. A big plastic I-forget-what. Fisher Price airliner, maybe.
-=-I think kids raised with joy and wonder about new siblings whose mothers
are
at home, often have less difficulty with adding new babies than the culture
predicts. -=-
YES!
The culture finds ways of making its predictions come true. :-/
Sandra
Julie Bogart
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
families THAN the mainstream. :)
Just a hunch...
Julie B
> Judging all the world by what LLL families try to do is probably worse thanCertainly, but I tend to think that unschooling families are more comparable to LLL
> the world judging all families by the mainstream.
families THAN the mainstream. :)
Just a hunch...
Julie B
TreeGoddess
A lovely book that I read over and over (and over ;-) to my DS when I
was pregnant with my DD is _Welcome_with_Love_ by Jenni Overend.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0916291960/
qid=1086884410/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-4632167-8669510?v=glance&s=books
If that link is broken try http://tinyurl.com/3xcft
-Tracy-
was pregnant with my DD is _Welcome_with_Love_ by Jenni Overend.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0916291960/
qid=1086884410/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-4632167-8669510?v=glance&s=books
If that link is broken try http://tinyurl.com/3xcft
-Tracy-
On Jun 10, 2004, at 10:36 AM, the_clevengers wrote:
> I really avoided all the kid's picture books out there that tend to
> make it sounds like there's something to be dreaded about having a
> baby in the house. It was just part of our life. My son came to the
> midwife's appointments with me, and although he had been playing in
> our living room with my sister when I was in labor in our bedroom,
> about 2 minutes before Asa was born, he turned to my sister and
> said "Mom needs me there now, I better go." He came in to the bedroom
> and watched the baby being born. And his voice was the first one she
> turned to, he was so thrilled with that. I think it's because his
> head was at stomach level, so she probably heard his voice in utero
> more than anyone else's.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kristi
ITA with everything that's been said already. As a point of
interest, our favorite book was "We Have a Baby." Not positive per
say, though a very positive book, nor negative, just stating, "We
have a baby. A baby to love, a baby to hold, a baby to feed," etc.
etc.
I thought Orion (23 mo when baby came) was going to be very
resentful of baby, but I tried hard to keep that idea to myself. No
resentment. Just wonder, joy, and awe. He amazes me daily with his
love. Julie's story about the fire truck resonated; when Isaac was
a few days old, Orion asked to hold him. I had wrapped gifts for
them when he was born from dh, baby, and me, quiet things I could do
with them on the couch. Orion had gotten a marble maze; as soon as
I got baby settled in his arms, Orion thrust him at the
maze. "Baby, game?" he said.
I wouldn't spend a lot of time preparing for positive and negative,
but rather answer your son's questions as they naturally evolve
through your preg. Approach baby as something that "is." Involve
him in the preg. in a gentle, natural way (I'd say things
like, "Wow, the baby just made a big kick. He must have heard you
tell that funny joke) and use language like "When the baby's ready
to come out ... " and it will just be a natural extension of the
preg. My daughter had thrown up the night Isaac was born, so when
he came at 4:45 am we decided not to wake the kids (4 and 2) but to
go back to bed instead. When they came in our room, they didn't
seem surprised at all to find baby in my arms. It just was,
sometimes pos., somestimes less positive, but really just something
that is.
Kristi
interest, our favorite book was "We Have a Baby." Not positive per
say, though a very positive book, nor negative, just stating, "We
have a baby. A baby to love, a baby to hold, a baby to feed," etc.
etc.
I thought Orion (23 mo when baby came) was going to be very
resentful of baby, but I tried hard to keep that idea to myself. No
resentment. Just wonder, joy, and awe. He amazes me daily with his
love. Julie's story about the fire truck resonated; when Isaac was
a few days old, Orion asked to hold him. I had wrapped gifts for
them when he was born from dh, baby, and me, quiet things I could do
with them on the couch. Orion had gotten a marble maze; as soon as
I got baby settled in his arms, Orion thrust him at the
maze. "Baby, game?" he said.
I wouldn't spend a lot of time preparing for positive and negative,
but rather answer your son's questions as they naturally evolve
through your preg. Approach baby as something that "is." Involve
him in the preg. in a gentle, natural way (I'd say things
like, "Wow, the baby just made a big kick. He must have heard you
tell that funny joke) and use language like "When the baby's ready
to come out ... " and it will just be a natural extension of the
preg. My daughter had thrown up the night Isaac was born, so when
he came at 4:45 am we decided not to wake the kids (4 and 2) but to
go back to bed instead. When they came in our room, they didn't
seem surprised at all to find baby in my arms. It just was,
sometimes pos., somestimes less positive, but really just something
that is.
Kristi
Jennifer
I think the best thing you can do is to rid yourself of the
expectations and fears that you and your husband have. Wyl is
excited and has been aching for a new baby! In terms of
unschooling, let him explore his feelings and be there when he needs
help or reassurance.
My oldest two are five years apart. It never occurred to me to
worry about sharing though I will admit to slight feelings of sorrow
and fear that I could never love another baby as much as I loved
her. The moment Nicholette was born, that was gone.
During my pregnancy, we shared her excitement. When I pulled out
Haleigh's baby clothes, it was fun to talk about how cute Haleigh
was in this outfit or share a funny experience about that outfit.
We set aside some of the keepsake outfits and I asked Haleigh to
help me pick out a few special new outfits for Nicholette when we
went shopping. It never occurred to Haleigh that giving her clothes
to her new sister was anything but fun!
Probably the only sharing Wyl will be doing for at elast the next
year is with his old baby things or sharing a room. Most of his
things won't even be safe for the new baby for years to come. As an
unschooler, you don't set your children up to fear learning, you
make their environment rich and full of opportunities and offer
assistance when needed. As an unschooling mother, you share the joy
and excitement of having a new baby with Wyl and help him through
the rough spots when needed.
I just pai If you remove your fears and expectations, you will free
yourself to feel and share the excitement that Wyl feels. This is
also a great time to bring up modelling behavior. If Wyl
experiences sharing in a comfortable, loving and kind environment
you shouldn't have much to worry about and will be able to tackle
any small issues as they come.
Jennifer
expectations and fears that you and your husband have. Wyl is
excited and has been aching for a new baby! In terms of
unschooling, let him explore his feelings and be there when he needs
help or reassurance.
My oldest two are five years apart. It never occurred to me to
worry about sharing though I will admit to slight feelings of sorrow
and fear that I could never love another baby as much as I loved
her. The moment Nicholette was born, that was gone.
During my pregnancy, we shared her excitement. When I pulled out
Haleigh's baby clothes, it was fun to talk about how cute Haleigh
was in this outfit or share a funny experience about that outfit.
We set aside some of the keepsake outfits and I asked Haleigh to
help me pick out a few special new outfits for Nicholette when we
went shopping. It never occurred to Haleigh that giving her clothes
to her new sister was anything but fun!
Probably the only sharing Wyl will be doing for at elast the next
year is with his old baby things or sharing a room. Most of his
things won't even be safe for the new baby for years to come. As an
unschooler, you don't set your children up to fear learning, you
make their environment rich and full of opportunities and offer
assistance when needed. As an unschooling mother, you share the joy
and excitement of having a new baby with Wyl and help him through
the rough spots when needed.
I just pai If you remove your fears and expectations, you will free
yourself to feel and share the excitement that Wyl feels. This is
also a great time to bring up modelling behavior. If Wyl
experiences sharing in a comfortable, loving and kind environment
you shouldn't have much to worry about and will be able to tackle
any small issues as they come.
Jennifer
Jennifer
--- In [email protected], "Jennifer"
<jmcseals@m...> wrote:
supposed to be but I can't. Maybe the baby hit something on the
keyboard and erased something I was writing, but who knows. Just
ignore that part!
Jennifer
<jmcseals@m...> wrote:
> I just pai If you remove your fears and expectations, you willfree
> yourself to feel and share the excitement that Wyl feels. >I'm trying like mad to figure out what the heck "I just pai" was
supposed to be but I can't. Maybe the baby hit something on the
keyboard and erased something I was writing, but who knows. Just
ignore that part!
Jennifer
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/10/04 10:32:58 AM, julie@... writes:
<< Certainly, but I tend to think that unschooling families are more
comparable to LLL
families THAN the mainstream. :) >>
YES and it's wonderful. < g>
<< Certainly, but I tend to think that unschooling families are more
comparable to LLL
families THAN the mainstream. :) >>
YES and it's wonderful. < g>
the_clevengers
--- In [email protected], "Jennifer"
<jmcseals@m...> wrote:
If you remove your fears and expectations, you will free
environment have very different experiences with regards to sharing
than we grew up with. My kids share in ways that I don't think I ever
would've with my siblings or friends. They aren't afraid to give
things away, to share from the heart, or to combine things with each
other. This year, they combined all of their Lego, which surprised
me, but they play together even more since they did that. Also, they
each share, trade, and give things away to their friends all the
time. We have an unschooling family that just moved in across the
street with two kids (yes, how lucky are we???!!!), and all four kids
decided this week to combine their Pokemon cards. I have to bite my
tongue sometimes to keep from interrupting these amazing acts. I keep
having to stuff down negative thoughts of how it might not work out,
they will want to have their own cards back, etc. They are operating
in an entirely different universe than I grew up in, why shouldn't
they act in different ways? In any case, the Pokemon cards are in a
giant folder that travels back and forth from the other family's
house to ours, and so far there hasn't been any problems. They have
also combined some of their money to purchase a new mega-pack of
cards. If they have future problems in sharing this stuff, maybe us
adults will have to help them work it out. Then again, maybe we
should just sit back and learn from them. I think they're operating
on a more community-minded approach, something like the Northwest
Indian's potlatch system. We grew up with the "every man for himself"
approach instead. We could all learn from their ability to share, I
think.
It's interesting, how much the common culture prepares us for
these "truths" about childhood - how kids are selfish and have to be
taught to share, how they have to be "motivated" to learn, how they
will be jealous of a new baby. My experience is that kids can act
like this at times, but are also capable of generosity of spirit,
unmitigated desire to learn, and a capacity to share that is beyond
that which most adults experience. More than anything, we can learn
these things from them, not the other way 'round.
Blue Skies,
-Robin-
<jmcseals@m...> wrote:
If you remove your fears and expectations, you will free
> yourself to feel and share the excitement that Wyl feels. This isI agree with Jennifer. You might even find that kids in this kind of
> also a great time to bring up modelling behavior. If Wyl
> experiences sharing in a comfortable, loving and kind environment
> you shouldn't have much to worry about and will be able to tackle
> any small issues as they come.
environment have very different experiences with regards to sharing
than we grew up with. My kids share in ways that I don't think I ever
would've with my siblings or friends. They aren't afraid to give
things away, to share from the heart, or to combine things with each
other. This year, they combined all of their Lego, which surprised
me, but they play together even more since they did that. Also, they
each share, trade, and give things away to their friends all the
time. We have an unschooling family that just moved in across the
street with two kids (yes, how lucky are we???!!!), and all four kids
decided this week to combine their Pokemon cards. I have to bite my
tongue sometimes to keep from interrupting these amazing acts. I keep
having to stuff down negative thoughts of how it might not work out,
they will want to have their own cards back, etc. They are operating
in an entirely different universe than I grew up in, why shouldn't
they act in different ways? In any case, the Pokemon cards are in a
giant folder that travels back and forth from the other family's
house to ours, and so far there hasn't been any problems. They have
also combined some of their money to purchase a new mega-pack of
cards. If they have future problems in sharing this stuff, maybe us
adults will have to help them work it out. Then again, maybe we
should just sit back and learn from them. I think they're operating
on a more community-minded approach, something like the Northwest
Indian's potlatch system. We grew up with the "every man for himself"
approach instead. We could all learn from their ability to share, I
think.
It's interesting, how much the common culture prepares us for
these "truths" about childhood - how kids are selfish and have to be
taught to share, how they have to be "motivated" to learn, how they
will be jealous of a new baby. My experience is that kids can act
like this at times, but are also capable of generosity of spirit,
unmitigated desire to learn, and a capacity to share that is beyond
that which most adults experience. More than anything, we can learn
these things from them, not the other way 'round.
Blue Skies,
-Robin-
Jennifer Altenbach
Not once did I ever get through that book without crying. A beautiful
book.
Jenny
<<A lovely book that I read over and over (and over ;-) to my DS when I
was pregnant with my DD is _Welcome_with_Love_ by Jenni Overend.>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
book.
Jenny
<<A lovely book that I read over and over (and over ;-) to my DS when I
was pregnant with my DD is _Welcome_with_Love_ by Jenni Overend.>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]