need some gentle parenting help here!
Ren
"Yes! Jayn is always asking me if I am happy, sometimes in connection to her
behavior, sometimes out of nowhere."
Sierra is like this too...and I have to take some responsibility for it because of my irritation over messes at times. She is the child that will completely and totally destroy her room every day. The only thing I've asked her to help me with is putting clean clothes on the bed so they don't get mixed in with the dirty. That's it.
But even this seemingly little request is hard for her.
There have been times I've spent over an hour cleaning her room (which thrills her) only to find dirty and clean clothes EVERYWHERE the next day. I'll start to pick up, but find myself mumbling and griping about "why can't you just put the clean clothes on the bed?"
ARGH.
She's a very sensitive being, and I have not helped by doing this. She's cleaned her room up a few times and proudly run to get me, saying "aren't you happy I cleaned my room"
DAng it, I didn't want to make her feel she has to clean her room to make ME happy. So I say "I'm really happy you have your room the way YOU like it." And apologized for being grumpy about her clothes, which are NOT worth griping about.
It's cool to see how readily they help me now, because things have changed tremendously around here....but sometimes there are bad habits that die hard. Bummer.
On the other hand, I was working in the garden tonight with the wee man Jalen and Markus was mowing our weeds. We started pitching pinecones in the kiddy pool so he could mow better, and soon I had Jared and Sierra happily working in the yard. They grabbed rakes and got all excited about how good everything was looking.
Jared was making plans for the side of the house, and describing what he wanted to plant etc.... I said to Markus "I really like how you invited everyone to help by making it fun"
Jared said "yeah, when you MADE us do yardwork we hated it. But now we want to because we don't have to, so it's fun."
Hmmmm....
He's awfully smart. Wish I could say his parents had always been so wise. :)
Ren
"There is no way to
peace. Peace is the way."
~Quaker saying
behavior, sometimes out of nowhere."
Sierra is like this too...and I have to take some responsibility for it because of my irritation over messes at times. She is the child that will completely and totally destroy her room every day. The only thing I've asked her to help me with is putting clean clothes on the bed so they don't get mixed in with the dirty. That's it.
But even this seemingly little request is hard for her.
There have been times I've spent over an hour cleaning her room (which thrills her) only to find dirty and clean clothes EVERYWHERE the next day. I'll start to pick up, but find myself mumbling and griping about "why can't you just put the clean clothes on the bed?"
ARGH.
She's a very sensitive being, and I have not helped by doing this. She's cleaned her room up a few times and proudly run to get me, saying "aren't you happy I cleaned my room"
DAng it, I didn't want to make her feel she has to clean her room to make ME happy. So I say "I'm really happy you have your room the way YOU like it." And apologized for being grumpy about her clothes, which are NOT worth griping about.
It's cool to see how readily they help me now, because things have changed tremendously around here....but sometimes there are bad habits that die hard. Bummer.
On the other hand, I was working in the garden tonight with the wee man Jalen and Markus was mowing our weeds. We started pitching pinecones in the kiddy pool so he could mow better, and soon I had Jared and Sierra happily working in the yard. They grabbed rakes and got all excited about how good everything was looking.
Jared was making plans for the side of the house, and describing what he wanted to plant etc.... I said to Markus "I really like how you invited everyone to help by making it fun"
Jared said "yeah, when you MADE us do yardwork we hated it. But now we want to because we don't have to, so it's fun."
Hmmmm....
He's awfully smart. Wish I could say his parents had always been so wise. :)
Ren
"There is no way to
peace. Peace is the way."
~Quaker saying
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/26/04 6:27:03 PM, starsuncloud@... writes:
<< I said to Markus "I really like how you invited everyone to help by making
it fun"
Jared said "yeah, when you MADE us do yardwork we hated it. But now we want
to because we don't have to, so it's fun."
Hmmmm....
He's awfully smart. Wish I could say his parents had always been so wise. :)
things today that you didn't have to do."
I said, "Making bread?" (I made eight loaves of bread for them to take to a
medieval campout I'm not attending.)
She said, "Yeah, that, and doing dishes and stuff."
I thanked her for helping me with the dishes, and she smiled really big.
I was pretty happy myself!
Sandra
<< I said to Markus "I really like how you invited everyone to help by making
it fun"
Jared said "yeah, when you MADE us do yardwork we hated it. But now we want
to because we don't have to, so it's fun."
Hmmmm....
He's awfully smart. Wish I could say his parents had always been so wise. :)
>>When I tucked Holly in a while ago, she said "Thank you for doing all those
things today that you didn't have to do."
I said, "Making bread?" (I made eight loaves of bread for them to take to a
medieval campout I'm not attending.)
She said, "Yeah, that, and doing dishes and stuff."
I thanked her for helping me with the dishes, and she smiled really big.
I was pretty happy myself!
Sandra