adopted children
Ren
"Maybe you are right, maybe there is a distinction in how you love children
that are adopted or are your birth children. Maybe no matter how much I don't
want there to be that, there will always be."
Here we go again Glena....I swear you don't READ what people write.
I did NOT say that the adopted children were less loved. If that were the case, I don't see how my parents could have endlessly gave to people that treated them so awful so much of the time. My brother got help every time he got out of jail, new clothes, dishes, anything they could help him with, only to have him lose, sell or destroy what he'd been given because he can't control his addictions.
I think I've made it pretty clear that these children were loved deeply and intensely.
I also think you're ignoring the fact that you don't bond at the same level with an 11 y.o. that has issues, as you do with a child you carried in your womb and have been with from birth. If you think that's an equal bonding...you're totally ignoring the fact that my sister COULDN'T bond the same way, by the very fact that she'd already bonded deeply with HER birth parents!!
Quit twisting things through that filter of yours...it's irritating.
Ren
"There is no way to
peace. Peace is the way."
~Quaker saying
that are adopted or are your birth children. Maybe no matter how much I don't
want there to be that, there will always be."
Here we go again Glena....I swear you don't READ what people write.
I did NOT say that the adopted children were less loved. If that were the case, I don't see how my parents could have endlessly gave to people that treated them so awful so much of the time. My brother got help every time he got out of jail, new clothes, dishes, anything they could help him with, only to have him lose, sell or destroy what he'd been given because he can't control his addictions.
I think I've made it pretty clear that these children were loved deeply and intensely.
I also think you're ignoring the fact that you don't bond at the same level with an 11 y.o. that has issues, as you do with a child you carried in your womb and have been with from birth. If you think that's an equal bonding...you're totally ignoring the fact that my sister COULDN'T bond the same way, by the very fact that she'd already bonded deeply with HER birth parents!!
Quit twisting things through that filter of yours...it's irritating.
Ren
"There is no way to
peace. Peace is the way."
~Quaker saying
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/20/2004 9:47:56 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
starsuncloud@... writes:
<< I did NOT say that the adopted children were less loved >>
I didn't say LESS loved, but loved in a different way. You did say that, I
read that. While you say how much you are family and that you do love them,
it's DIFFERENT.
I didn't use the words less loved, but loved differently, and that is what
you described.
What you described did give me some insight into a lot of things, many things
that directly relate to unschooling.
Many people think we are offering our children "less than" but it's really
just "different" and can be much better in almost all cases.
Just because you care for something or someone differently it does not mean
it's "less than" and I didn't say that, those were your words. Differently
means differently, I love my husband differently than I do my children. There
are differences in the way I parent each of my children, all bio children. They
need different things from me at different times. It doesn't mean I parent
any of them "less than".
Just for the record, I find it equally irritating that you can presume to say
I've said something when I certainly did not, just because you THINK that's
what I've said, doesn't make it so. If you really read that post you would
know that I was admitting that I could now SEE that indeed whether I'd like for
there to be or not, differences are going to exist between naturally born
children and adopted children. That is was my skewed vision from the side of the
fence of BEING adopted at almost four that made me think/hope/wish that there
were no differences in how parents would love bio or adopted children.
glena
starsuncloud@... writes:
<< I did NOT say that the adopted children were less loved >>
I didn't say LESS loved, but loved in a different way. You did say that, I
read that. While you say how much you are family and that you do love them,
it's DIFFERENT.
I didn't use the words less loved, but loved differently, and that is what
you described.
What you described did give me some insight into a lot of things, many things
that directly relate to unschooling.
Many people think we are offering our children "less than" but it's really
just "different" and can be much better in almost all cases.
Just because you care for something or someone differently it does not mean
it's "less than" and I didn't say that, those were your words. Differently
means differently, I love my husband differently than I do my children. There
are differences in the way I parent each of my children, all bio children. They
need different things from me at different times. It doesn't mean I parent
any of them "less than".
Just for the record, I find it equally irritating that you can presume to say
I've said something when I certainly did not, just because you THINK that's
what I've said, doesn't make it so. If you really read that post you would
know that I was admitting that I could now SEE that indeed whether I'd like for
there to be or not, differences are going to exist between naturally born
children and adopted children. That is was my skewed vision from the side of the
fence of BEING adopted at almost four that made me think/hope/wish that there
were no differences in how parents would love bio or adopted children.
glena
pam sorooshian
Glena, you did say "less than" - and it was also clear that was what
you meant by "distinctions" in a number of places in recent posts. Here
is one example:
<Wishing one had given all of one's energy and time to three birth
children
upon reflection of a life of raising a group of children, seems to me
that even
after years there are distinctions and divisions to some with regard to
"birth" children and "adoptive" children. Making them somehow less
than the same,
as in these are "our children". >
-pam
you meant by "distinctions" in a number of places in recent posts. Here
is one example:
<Wishing one had given all of one's energy and time to three birth
children
upon reflection of a life of raising a group of children, seems to me
that even
after years there are distinctions and divisions to some with regard to
"birth" children and "adoptive" children. Making them somehow less
than the same,
as in these are "our children". >
-pam
On May 20, 2004, at 7:16 AM, rubyprincesstsg@... wrote:
> In a message dated 5/20/2004 9:47:56 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
> starsuncloud@... writes:
>
> << I did NOT say that the adopted children were less loved >>
>
>
>
> I didn't say LESS loved, but loved in a different way. You did say
> that, I
> read that. While you say how much you are family and that you do love
> them,
> it's DIFFERENT.
>
> I didn't use the words less loved, but loved differently, and that is
> what
> you described.
>
> What you described did give me some insight into a lot of things, many
> things
> that directly relate to unschooling.
>
> Many people think we are offering our children "less than" but it's
> really
> just "different" and can be much better in almost all cases.
>
> Just because you care for something or someone differently it does not
> mean
> it's "less than" and I didn't say that, those were your words.
> Differently
> means differently, I love my husband differently than I do my
> children. There
> are differences in the way I parent each of my children, all bio
> children. They
> need different things from me at different times. It doesn't mean I
> parent
> any of them "less than".
>
> Just for the record, I find it equally irritating that you can presume
> to say
> I've said something when I certainly did not, just because you THINK
> that's
> what I've said, doesn't make it so. If you really read that post you
> would
> know that I was admitting that I could now SEE that indeed whether I'd
> like for
> there to be or not, differences are going to exist between naturally
> born
> children and adopted children. That is was my skewed vision from the
> side of the
> fence of BEING adopted at almost four that made me think/hope/wish
> that there
> were no differences in how parents would love bio or adopted children.
>
> glena
>
>
>
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