Family history
Ren
"I wonder if a disproportionate number of unschoolers come from dysfunctional
childhoods."
Not this unschooler.
My parents weren't perfect, they tried to indoctrinate us with their religion and my Mom tended to yell (though plenty of times it wasn't in anger, just her way of communicating to six kids across a largish house). They sent me to school like everyone we knew at the time, but I always, always was hugged, told that I was loved by both parents, had parents that loved each other deeply and never fought that I can remember (disagreed some, but the discussions never got heated in front of us), provided a home that was rich in books and games and family times, good food, many interesting people coming and going, support in my interests (although like most school parents they pushed the academics as more important) and so on.
I was spanked some, but only remember one spanking in my life, I do remember my Mom backhanding me once in sheer frustration, but apologizing very sorrowfully later on.
Later, both my parents discussed how sad they were that they ever spanked us, talked to me extensively about childhood wounds and such...I kept thinking "geez, I'm glad they feel bad and all, but it's no big deal". So there was deep healing for any wrongs done to me in childhood, and the good SO outweighed the bad moments. I remember most of my years at home as rather idyllic, not because I'm forgetting the rotten stuff, but I really had it pretty damn good.
I think the yelling my Mom succumbed to was partly that she overloaded herself by adopting three high needs children. She didn't know her own boundaries good enough perhaps, but she was a great example of someone that followed her dreams and brought joy into the world.
To get an idea of what a cool guy my Dad is, you can read a letter he wrote me when Trevor was very small. It's at Sandra's site somewhere.
Dysfunction was not part of my life. I remember a lot of magic and happiness from childhood.
Ren
"There is no way to
peace. Peace is the way."
~Quaker saying
childhoods."
Not this unschooler.
My parents weren't perfect, they tried to indoctrinate us with their religion and my Mom tended to yell (though plenty of times it wasn't in anger, just her way of communicating to six kids across a largish house). They sent me to school like everyone we knew at the time, but I always, always was hugged, told that I was loved by both parents, had parents that loved each other deeply and never fought that I can remember (disagreed some, but the discussions never got heated in front of us), provided a home that was rich in books and games and family times, good food, many interesting people coming and going, support in my interests (although like most school parents they pushed the academics as more important) and so on.
I was spanked some, but only remember one spanking in my life, I do remember my Mom backhanding me once in sheer frustration, but apologizing very sorrowfully later on.
Later, both my parents discussed how sad they were that they ever spanked us, talked to me extensively about childhood wounds and such...I kept thinking "geez, I'm glad they feel bad and all, but it's no big deal". So there was deep healing for any wrongs done to me in childhood, and the good SO outweighed the bad moments. I remember most of my years at home as rather idyllic, not because I'm forgetting the rotten stuff, but I really had it pretty damn good.
I think the yelling my Mom succumbed to was partly that she overloaded herself by adopting three high needs children. She didn't know her own boundaries good enough perhaps, but she was a great example of someone that followed her dreams and brought joy into the world.
To get an idea of what a cool guy my Dad is, you can read a letter he wrote me when Trevor was very small. It's at Sandra's site somewhere.
Dysfunction was not part of my life. I remember a lot of magic and happiness from childhood.
Ren
"There is no way to
peace. Peace is the way."
~Quaker saying
[email protected]
To get an idea of what a cool guy my Dad is, you can read a letter he wrote
me when Trevor was very small. It's at Sandra's site somewhere.
http://sandradodd.com/s/ren
Good old google.com.
I put in
ren trevor dad sandradodd
and there it was!
Sandra
me when Trevor was very small. It's at Sandra's site somewhere.
http://sandradodd.com/s/ren
Good old google.com.
I put in
ren trevor dad sandradodd
and there it was!
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/17/2004 9:46:46 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
starsuncloud@... writes:
I'd really like to do, and should be pretty decent at, which is adopting or
fostering special needs kid(s), but I'm so sure that I won't have enough
patience, and/or love them as much as my birth kids. I never really thought of it as
"knowing my own boundaries". I just felt guilty for being "selfish". Thank you
for that bit of insight!!
Síocháin ar domhan,
Sang
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
starsuncloud@... writes:
> I think the yelling my Mom succumbed to was partly that she overloadedThank you for that!! I often feel really guilty for not following up on what
> herself by adopting three high needs children. She didn't know her own boundaries
> good enough perhaps,
I'd really like to do, and should be pretty decent at, which is adopting or
fostering special needs kid(s), but I'm so sure that I won't have enough
patience, and/or love them as much as my birth kids. I never really thought of it as
"knowing my own boundaries". I just felt guilty for being "selfish". Thank you
for that bit of insight!!
Síocháin ar domhan,
Sang
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/17/2004 12:43:52 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
Síocháin ar domhan,
Sang
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> To get an idea of what a cool guy my Dad is, you can read a letter he wroteWow. Brought tears to MY eyes! How very awesome...
>
> me when Trevor was very small. It's at Sandra's site somewhere.
Síocháin ar domhan,
Sang
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]