planning ; more practically than spirituality
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/15/04 9:55:24 AM, mamaaj2000@... writes:
<< I'm struggling to understand this. I know I'm very, very new to
unschooling, but I feel like I'm going to need to plan ahead a lot in
order to strew interesting things about, plan trips that go well, etc. >>
Planning can be good if you can be flexible about it. Sometimes a plan
becomes a list of things that didn't happen right, and that's sad.
If I plan a trip to the zoo, my thoughts are who has to back when, should we
take our own water, is there something to carry hats and sunscreen in? When
we had babies, the stroller served well. With walking kids, we need a
backpack. Is there a feeding-time consideration?
Other than that, more planning would be too much. Maybe the kids won't have
fun, maybe it will be full of school groups, or too hot, or someone will feel
woozy. Maybe we'll leave early and eat on the way home. Maybe it will be
PERFECT, cool breezes, not crowded, and we'll eat there, and feed koi and
ducks, and take our time and hang out in the gift shop.
If I decide before we go how I want the day to be, I'm likely to be
disappointed.
If I don't make ANY plans and it turns out we really, truly needed sunscreen
and some hats but I hadn't brought any, and Holly's friend had to be home by
1:00, so leaving at 11:00 instead of 9:30 was a bad plan, then I'll wish I had
been more practical.
Having the openness and in-the-moment attitude to be willing to go where the
day leads you doesn't mean you shouldn't make sure there's gas in the car. <g>
Sandra
<< I'm struggling to understand this. I know I'm very, very new to
unschooling, but I feel like I'm going to need to plan ahead a lot in
order to strew interesting things about, plan trips that go well, etc. >>
Planning can be good if you can be flexible about it. Sometimes a plan
becomes a list of things that didn't happen right, and that's sad.
If I plan a trip to the zoo, my thoughts are who has to back when, should we
take our own water, is there something to carry hats and sunscreen in? When
we had babies, the stroller served well. With walking kids, we need a
backpack. Is there a feeding-time consideration?
Other than that, more planning would be too much. Maybe the kids won't have
fun, maybe it will be full of school groups, or too hot, or someone will feel
woozy. Maybe we'll leave early and eat on the way home. Maybe it will be
PERFECT, cool breezes, not crowded, and we'll eat there, and feed koi and
ducks, and take our time and hang out in the gift shop.
If I decide before we go how I want the day to be, I'm likely to be
disappointed.
If I don't make ANY plans and it turns out we really, truly needed sunscreen
and some hats but I hadn't brought any, and Holly's friend had to be home by
1:00, so leaving at 11:00 instead of 9:30 was a bad plan, then I'll wish I had
been more practical.
Having the openness and in-the-moment attitude to be willing to go where the
day leads you doesn't mean you shouldn't make sure there's gas in the car. <g>
Sandra
Have a Nice Day!
Along the lines of planning trips:
When we go somewhere, like say, Washington DC, where there is SO much to see, that it would be easy to try to "plan" it all in. I mean how often do we get to Washington DC??? Don't we have to fit it ALL in????
I find that I have to be more realistic. To
"fit it all in" would ruin the whole trip. So instead I might plan to see one or two museums for the day and plan to eat at a particular place, or pack.
If we get to more, fine. If the kids change their minds about which places they want to see, fine. My plan is basically for backup and at least I'm not pushing to get through everything only to move to the next building. (I've seen parents who do that, yuck...its just like eating the whole 18 donuts just because they are there, you spent the money, and you feel obligated.)
On trips, the most important things are being comfortable, having plenty handy to eat/drink, getting plenty of rest before the trip, and taking plenty of breaks that are *not* time limited during the trip. For example, if your child is interested in just climbing on the McDonalds play gym for an hour, let him do it....even though you want to go see the Aerospace museum.
Also plan a day or two of downtime AFTER the trip if its a big one. Pajama and Movie days are great for this. But let your child decide if how much down time he needs.
If you have to take more time to do those things, then plan it in. You'll regret it if you don't!
I think the same applies when you are planning things to "strew". Just be open to other bunny trails along the way, and embrace them, enjoy them, and be ready to put your plans away for awhile.
Your plans should be the jumper cables, not the engine of your unschooling.
Kristen
When we go somewhere, like say, Washington DC, where there is SO much to see, that it would be easy to try to "plan" it all in. I mean how often do we get to Washington DC??? Don't we have to fit it ALL in????
I find that I have to be more realistic. To
"fit it all in" would ruin the whole trip. So instead I might plan to see one or two museums for the day and plan to eat at a particular place, or pack.
If we get to more, fine. If the kids change their minds about which places they want to see, fine. My plan is basically for backup and at least I'm not pushing to get through everything only to move to the next building. (I've seen parents who do that, yuck...its just like eating the whole 18 donuts just because they are there, you spent the money, and you feel obligated.)
On trips, the most important things are being comfortable, having plenty handy to eat/drink, getting plenty of rest before the trip, and taking plenty of breaks that are *not* time limited during the trip. For example, if your child is interested in just climbing on the McDonalds play gym for an hour, let him do it....even though you want to go see the Aerospace museum.
Also plan a day or two of downtime AFTER the trip if its a big one. Pajama and Movie days are great for this. But let your child decide if how much down time he needs.
If you have to take more time to do those things, then plan it in. You'll regret it if you don't!
I think the same applies when you are planning things to "strew". Just be open to other bunny trails along the way, and embrace them, enjoy them, and be ready to put your plans away for awhile.
Your plans should be the jumper cables, not the engine of your unschooling.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, May 15, 2004 1:37 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] planning ; more practically than spirituality
In a message dated 5/15/04 9:55:24 AM, mamaaj2000@... writes:
<< I'm struggling to understand this. I know I'm very, very new to
unschooling, but I feel like I'm going to need to plan ahead a lot in
order to strew interesting things about, plan trips that go well, etc. >>
Planning can be good if you can be flexible about it. Sometimes a plan
becomes a list of things that didn't happen right, and that's sad.
If I plan a trip to the zoo, my thoughts are who has to back when, should we
take our own water, is there something to carry hats and sunscreen in? When
we had babies, the stroller served well. With walking kids, we need a
backpack. Is there a feeding-time consideration?
Other than that, more planning would be too much. Maybe the kids won't have
fun, maybe it will be full of school groups, or too hot, or someone will feel
woozy. Maybe we'll leave early and eat on the way home. Maybe it will be
PERFECT, cool breezes, not crowded, and we'll eat there, and feed koi and
ducks, and take our time and hang out in the gift shop.
If I decide before we go how I want the day to be, I'm likely to be
disappointed.
If I don't make ANY plans and it turns out we really, truly needed sunscreen
and some hats but I hadn't brought any, and Holly's friend had to be home by
1:00, so leaving at 11:00 instead of 9:30 was a bad plan, then I'll wish I had
been more practical.
Having the openness and in-the-moment attitude to be willing to go where the
day leads you doesn't mean you shouldn't make sure there's gas in the car. <g>
Sandra
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
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In a message dated 5/15/04 12:17:41 PM, litlrooh@... writes:
<< Your plans should be the jumper cables, not the engine of your
unschooling. >>
OH, THAT'S GOOD!!
When we went to Washington, we had one plan per day. Air and Space. That
was all. Or Washington Monument; that's all. Fireworks on the mall; no more.
FBI building, whole day.
So the cool thing was we always did extra stuff, we never failed to do
enough. <g>
And had I planned too much I'd've missed some good stuff. I had no idea that
Indian and Greek food were EVERYWHERE, and that my kids would like them so
much! The kids liked the metro as well as anything else. They were happy.
Sandra
<< Your plans should be the jumper cables, not the engine of your
unschooling. >>
OH, THAT'S GOOD!!
When we went to Washington, we had one plan per day. Air and Space. That
was all. Or Washington Monument; that's all. Fireworks on the mall; no more.
FBI building, whole day.
So the cool thing was we always did extra stuff, we never failed to do
enough. <g>
And had I planned too much I'd've missed some good stuff. I had no idea that
Indian and Greek food were EVERYWHERE, and that my kids would like them so
much! The kids liked the metro as well as anything else. They were happy.
Sandra
Backstrom kelli
Expectiations are everything to me, the lower they are the better my whole time if going to be sheerly because I am willing to accept the outcomes in a much better way. We went to the beach today and I packed enough to get by (some snacks the sunscreen towels ) not too many crazy toys that I always end up losing anyway. Little expectations and all in all in was a great day, children immersed in the water and mud (my children love the mud) finding crabs and spending an hour and a half chasing each other around on their hands and knees pretending to be crabs. It was a good day. Kelli
SandraDodd@... wrote:
In a message dated 5/15/04 9:55:24 AM, mamaaj2000@... writes:
<< I'm struggling to understand this. I know I'm very, very new to
unschooling, but I feel like I'm going to need to plan ahead a lot in
order to strew interesting things about, plan trips that go well, etc. >>
Planning can be good if you can be flexible about it. Sometimes a plan
becomes a list of things that didn't happen right, and that's sad.
If I plan a trip to the zoo, my thoughts are who has to back when, should we
take our own water, is there something to carry hats and sunscreen in? When
we had babies, the stroller served well. With walking kids, we need a
backpack. Is there a feeding-time consideration?
Other than that, more planning would be too much. Maybe the kids won't have
fun, maybe it will be full of school groups, or too hot, or someone will feel
woozy. Maybe we'll leave early and eat on the way home. Maybe it will be
PERFECT, cool breezes, not crowded, and we'll eat there, and feed koi and
ducks, and take our time and hang out in the gift shop.
If I decide before we go how I want the day to be, I'm likely to be
disappointed.
If I don't make ANY plans and it turns out we really, truly needed sunscreen
and some hats but I hadn't brought any, and Holly's friend had to be home by
1:00, so leaving at 11:00 instead of 9:30 was a bad plan, then I'll wish I had
been more practical.
Having the openness and in-the-moment attitude to be willing to go where the
day leads you doesn't mean you shouldn't make sure there's gas in the car. <g>
Sandra
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: http://www.unschooling.com
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... wrote:
In a message dated 5/15/04 9:55:24 AM, mamaaj2000@... writes:
<< I'm struggling to understand this. I know I'm very, very new to
unschooling, but I feel like I'm going to need to plan ahead a lot in
order to strew interesting things about, plan trips that go well, etc. >>
Planning can be good if you can be flexible about it. Sometimes a plan
becomes a list of things that didn't happen right, and that's sad.
If I plan a trip to the zoo, my thoughts are who has to back when, should we
take our own water, is there something to carry hats and sunscreen in? When
we had babies, the stroller served well. With walking kids, we need a
backpack. Is there a feeding-time consideration?
Other than that, more planning would be too much. Maybe the kids won't have
fun, maybe it will be full of school groups, or too hot, or someone will feel
woozy. Maybe we'll leave early and eat on the way home. Maybe it will be
PERFECT, cool breezes, not crowded, and we'll eat there, and feed koi and
ducks, and take our time and hang out in the gift shop.
If I decide before we go how I want the day to be, I'm likely to be
disappointed.
If I don't make ANY plans and it turns out we really, truly needed sunscreen
and some hats but I hadn't brought any, and Holly's friend had to be home by
1:00, so leaving at 11:00 instead of 9:30 was a bad plan, then I'll wish I had
been more practical.
Having the openness and in-the-moment attitude to be willing to go where the
day leads you doesn't mean you shouldn't make sure there's gas in the car. <g>
Sandra
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: http://www.unschooling.com
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---------------------------------
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---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/15/2004 2:17:30 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
litlrooh@... writes:
Your plans should be the jumper cables, not the engine of your unschooling.
<<<<
Good line.
I think *parents* should be the jumper cables of unschooling, not the
engines. That facilitator-thang.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
litlrooh@... writes:
Your plans should be the jumper cables, not the engine of your unschooling.
<<<<
Good line.
I think *parents* should be the jumper cables of unschooling, not the
engines. That facilitator-thang.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Have a Nice Day!
LOL,
I was thinking too that the parents are the car, the children are the drivers, and the plans are the jumper cables, only to be used in a breakdown.
Hmmm, where else can we go with this analogy <g>
Kristen
I was thinking too that the parents are the car, the children are the drivers, and the plans are the jumper cables, only to be used in a breakdown.
Hmmm, where else can we go with this analogy <g>
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: kbcdlovejo@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, May 15, 2004 4:21 PM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] planning ; more practically than spirituality
In a message dated 5/15/2004 2:17:30 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
litlrooh@... writes:
Your plans should be the jumper cables, not the engine of your unschooling.
<<<<
Good line.
I think *parents* should be the jumper cables of unschooling, not the
engines. That facilitator-thang.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/15/04 6:33:58 PM, litlrooh@... writes:
<< I was thinking too that the parents are the car, the children are the
drivers, and the plans are the jumper cables, only to be used in a breakdown.
<<Hmmm, where else can we go with this analogy <g> >>
Into a ditch, if we're not careful! <bwg>
Instead of watching the road, maybe we can just remember we've all stepped
out of the roadway and are exploring elsewhere.
(But I did like the jumper cable idea, in the absence of the crowded roadway
vision I got later.)
The travels are largely internal. We can be lounging at home. <g>
Sandra
<< I was thinking too that the parents are the car, the children are the
drivers, and the plans are the jumper cables, only to be used in a breakdown.
<<Hmmm, where else can we go with this analogy <g> >>
Into a ditch, if we're not careful! <bwg>
Instead of watching the road, maybe we can just remember we've all stepped
out of the roadway and are exploring elsewhere.
(But I did like the jumper cable idea, in the absence of the crowded roadway
vision I got later.)
The travels are largely internal. We can be lounging at home. <g>
Sandra
Have a Nice Day!
Instead of watching the road, maybe we can just remember we've all stepped
out of the roadway and are exploring elsewhere.
********************
Ok....how about 4 wheelin on a bunny trail?? LOL. Sorry, I'm so darn tired, I am just being silly.
Kristen, who has been 10 steps behind the 8 ball all the live long day!
out of the roadway and are exploring elsewhere.
********************
Ok....how about 4 wheelin on a bunny trail?? LOL. Sorry, I'm so darn tired, I am just being silly.
Kristen, who has been 10 steps behind the 8 ball all the live long day!
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, May 15, 2004 8:52 PM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] planning ; more practically than spirituality
In a message dated 5/15/04 6:33:58 PM, litlrooh@... writes:
<< I was thinking too that the parents are the car, the children are the
drivers, and the plans are the jumper cables, only to be used in a breakdown.
<<Hmmm, where else can we go with this analogy <g> >>
Into a ditch, if we're not careful! <bwg>
Instead of watching the road, maybe we can just remember we've all stepped
out of the roadway and are exploring elsewhere.
(But I did like the jumper cable idea, in the absence of the crowded roadway
vision I got later.)
The travels are largely internal. We can be lounging at home. <g>
Sandra
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: http://www.unschooling.com
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Danielle Conger
Sandra wrote: > Planning can be good if you can be flexible about it.
Sometimes a plan
Oh, this is sooo true!
I am a *huge* planner, but mostly in terms of contingencies and comfort. My
goal is to bring whatever might be necessary to keep the kids happy and
having fun, no matter what we might decide to do. That means never leaving
the house without food and drinks--that would be a major recipe for
disaster! I stopped carrying a diaper bag when my second was born (it was
amazing how much more stuff I need for 1 than for 3! *g*) What I did instead
was pack the really big diaper duffle with an extra change of clothes for
accidents, puddles, fountains, etc.; bandaids, motrin and other necessities;
rain gear; markers and coloring books; sunscrean and hats. Then I just keep
it in the car, so it's always with us. For a long time, I carted around a
plastic training potty for emergencies and parks without bathrooms. (The
worst part about that was my daughter telling me that my tushie was too big
to use it. *g* ) I also read and research a ton before we go on trips so
that I will know lots of different kinds of things to do. That way when one
thing doesn't work out or interest us, I've got another possibility we can
try. It's like mom's great big bag of tricks. When I can offer possibilities
and keep everyone comfortable, we have loads of fun together.
For me, flexibility and advance planning are the two things that make trips
and adventures so doable with three small kids (6, 5 and 4). But the key is
always to jettison preconceived notions and outsiders' opinions. I think
that's the rub with dh sometimes, though he's getting better. He gets into
this rigid framework about what we should see or how children should act and
it just makes everyone uptight. We've had several conversations about it,
often involving the phrase "Stepford children" in them somewhere. *eg*
--Danielle
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
Sometimes a plan
> becomes a list of things that didn't happen right, and that's sad. *** >If I decide before we go how I want the day to be, I'm likely to be
> disappointed.sunscreen
> If I don't make ANY plans and it turns out we really, truly needed
> and some hats but I hadn't brought any, and Holly's friend had to be homeby
> 1:00, so leaving at 11:00 instead of 9:30 was a bad plan, then I'll wish Ihad
> been more practical.=====================
Oh, this is sooo true!
I am a *huge* planner, but mostly in terms of contingencies and comfort. My
goal is to bring whatever might be necessary to keep the kids happy and
having fun, no matter what we might decide to do. That means never leaving
the house without food and drinks--that would be a major recipe for
disaster! I stopped carrying a diaper bag when my second was born (it was
amazing how much more stuff I need for 1 than for 3! *g*) What I did instead
was pack the really big diaper duffle with an extra change of clothes for
accidents, puddles, fountains, etc.; bandaids, motrin and other necessities;
rain gear; markers and coloring books; sunscrean and hats. Then I just keep
it in the car, so it's always with us. For a long time, I carted around a
plastic training potty for emergencies and parks without bathrooms. (The
worst part about that was my daughter telling me that my tushie was too big
to use it. *g* ) I also read and research a ton before we go on trips so
that I will know lots of different kinds of things to do. That way when one
thing doesn't work out or interest us, I've got another possibility we can
try. It's like mom's great big bag of tricks. When I can offer possibilities
and keep everyone comfortable, we have loads of fun together.
For me, flexibility and advance planning are the two things that make trips
and adventures so doable with three small kids (6, 5 and 4). But the key is
always to jettison preconceived notions and outsiders' opinions. I think
that's the rub with dh sometimes, though he's getting better. He gets into
this rigid framework about what we should see or how children should act and
it just makes everyone uptight. We've had several conversations about it,
often involving the phrase "Stepford children" in them somewhere. *eg*
--Danielle
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
catherine aceto
Holly writes: i find i get really stressed out about taking the kids somewhere that you have to pay to go (movies, museums, etc.) and then because they are tired or decide that they aren't having fun - they want to leave 5min after arriving.
Me:
Can you get memberships? Maybe as gifts from family? Maybe the organization has sliding fees (some institutions do this even though they don't really advertise it). Perhaps get memberships to one or two in your area and then go primarily to them.
We have memberships to the local museums and go to the local cheap theater ($1/person). We do it precisely because it is then so easy to move on to something else if no one is having fun and you don't feel like you just blew $30 on the 15 minutes that you have been there.
But without a membership, then I think it's like the donut example - better in the trash than eaten unwanted. Cheerfully move on from the experience, or the $30 (already spent) will have been spent to make children's lives worse instead of better. Which isn't to say that I would always, without fail, be able to do that -- but it is my goal, and thinking of it like the donuts helps.
Also the museums around here often have a free day a week or free week once a year. Or go with a local group at group rates.
-Cat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Me:
Can you get memberships? Maybe as gifts from family? Maybe the organization has sliding fees (some institutions do this even though they don't really advertise it). Perhaps get memberships to one or two in your area and then go primarily to them.
We have memberships to the local museums and go to the local cheap theater ($1/person). We do it precisely because it is then so easy to move on to something else if no one is having fun and you don't feel like you just blew $30 on the 15 minutes that you have been there.
But without a membership, then I think it's like the donut example - better in the trash than eaten unwanted. Cheerfully move on from the experience, or the $30 (already spent) will have been spent to make children's lives worse instead of better. Which isn't to say that I would always, without fail, be able to do that -- but it is my goal, and thinking of it like the donuts helps.
Also the museums around here often have a free day a week or free week once a year. Or go with a local group at group rates.
-Cat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pam sorooshian
On May 17, 2004, at 9:07 AM, Andy Holly Clarke wrote:
I get it that that is how it feels to you!
I remember such a sense of calm when I came to the realization that my
kids knew EXACTLY how much time they would optimally spend on something
and that sometimes a very minimal exposure was just what they needed
right then. I remember going to the La Brea Tar Pits (a 40 minutes
drive into Los Angeles) and speeding through the museum in about 15
minutes. I'd had it in my head that we'd spend half of the day there -
I was seriously disappointed in my kids for not appreciating it more.
But, we piled back into the car and went to the Farmer's Market nearby
and ate a mid-morning lunch and looked in shops for a while and went
home early and had a nice and unexpected free afternoon at home. It was
a nice day. And I overheard one of my kids telling another kid about
the Tar Pits and how awesome it was. Surprised me <G>. And we've gone
back MANY times since.
I try to think that the money was spent on exposing or introducing them
to what was there so now they know.
And I try to remember that if I made the decision to go that day, it
might just not have been a good day for my kids, maybe they've been
playing a really cool ongoing game at home and this interfered with it,
for example.
Also - if some want to stay longer than others, it helps the one who is
ready to go if they have a specific ending time and are wearing a watch
to keep track of the time, themselves. Also it helps to know what
they're going to do at the end. It can make being there more fun for
the less interested child if they have a camera to take pictures with -
get them a disposable one.
Museum memberships are great when you have young kids because you CAN
go for very short visits and not feel like you wasted money. More short
visits are often way better than one long visit for young kids.
And - what kind of museum are you going to where they are bored with it
that fast anyway? Not the hands-on science and children's museums,
surely?
Do kids want to leave movies that they have chosen to see, after the
movie starts? You'll have to describe that situation further - that
seems unusual.
How old are the children we're talking about?
-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
> i find i get really stressed out about taking the kids somewhere thatThat you say "5 minutes" makes me think you're exaggerating maybe? But
> you have to pay to go (movies, museums, etc.) and then because they
> are tired or decide that they aren't having fun - they want to leave
> 5min after arriving.
I get it that that is how it feels to you!
I remember such a sense of calm when I came to the realization that my
kids knew EXACTLY how much time they would optimally spend on something
and that sometimes a very minimal exposure was just what they needed
right then. I remember going to the La Brea Tar Pits (a 40 minutes
drive into Los Angeles) and speeding through the museum in about 15
minutes. I'd had it in my head that we'd spend half of the day there -
I was seriously disappointed in my kids for not appreciating it more.
But, we piled back into the car and went to the Farmer's Market nearby
and ate a mid-morning lunch and looked in shops for a while and went
home early and had a nice and unexpected free afternoon at home. It was
a nice day. And I overheard one of my kids telling another kid about
the Tar Pits and how awesome it was. Surprised me <G>. And we've gone
back MANY times since.
I try to think that the money was spent on exposing or introducing them
to what was there so now they know.
And I try to remember that if I made the decision to go that day, it
might just not have been a good day for my kids, maybe they've been
playing a really cool ongoing game at home and this interfered with it,
for example.
Also - if some want to stay longer than others, it helps the one who is
ready to go if they have a specific ending time and are wearing a watch
to keep track of the time, themselves. Also it helps to know what
they're going to do at the end. It can make being there more fun for
the less interested child if they have a camera to take pictures with -
get them a disposable one.
Museum memberships are great when you have young kids because you CAN
go for very short visits and not feel like you wasted money. More short
visits are often way better than one long visit for young kids.
And - what kind of museum are you going to where they are bored with it
that fast anyway? Not the hands-on science and children's museums,
surely?
Do kids want to leave movies that they have chosen to see, after the
movie starts? You'll have to describe that situation further - that
seems unusual.
How old are the children we're talking about?
-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
Andy Holly Clarke
i tend to overplan and then get stressed out about not getting to everything, but thank you for everyone's comments. it is helping me see how much more fun and relaxed (2 things i really need to work on in general life anyway) a vacation or outing can be by just planning to cover any emergency or contingency and not what we should do when for how long etc.
one more thing though, i find i get really stressed out about taking the kids somewhere that you have to pay to go (movies, museums, etc.) and then because they are tired or decide that they aren't having fun - they want to leave 5min after arriving.
i am trying to be more in tune with them about timing around tiredness. however, i often don't want to take them somewhere that we have to pay because we are tight on money and i am worried they won't have fun and will want to leave and we just wasted X amount of dollars.
any comments? any ideas?
holly
planning ; more practically than spirituality
Sandra wrote: > Planning can be good if you can be flexible about it.
Sometimes a plan
Oh, this is sooo true!
I am a *huge* planner, but mostly in terms of contingencies and comfort. My
goal is to bring whatever might be necessary to keep the kids happy and
having fun, no matter what we might decide to do. That means never leaving
the house without food and drinks--that would be a major recipe for
disaster! I stopped carrying a diaper bag when my second was born (it was
amazing how much more stuff I need for 1 than for 3! *g*) What I did instead
was pack the really big diaper duffle with an extra change of clothes for
accidents, puddles, fountains, etc.; bandaids, motrin and other necessities;
rain gear; markers and coloring books; sunscrean and hats. Then I just keep
it in the car, so it's always with us. For a long time, I carted around a
plastic training potty for emergencies and parks without bathrooms. (The
worst part about that was my daughter telling me that my tushie was too big
to use it. *g* ) I also read and research a ton before we go on trips so
that I will know lots of different kinds of things to do. That way when one
thing doesn't work out or interest us, I've got another possibility we can
try. It's like mom's great big bag of tricks. When I can offer possibilities
and keep everyone comfortable, we have loads of fun together.
For me, flexibility and advance planning are the two things that make trips
and adventures so doable with three small kids (6, 5 and 4). But the key is
always to jettison preconceived notions and outsiders' opinions. I think
that's the rub with dh sometimes, though he's getting better. He gets into
this rigid framework about what we should see or how children should act and
it just makes everyone uptight. We've had several conversations about it,
often involving the phrase "Stepford children" in them somewhere. *eg*
--Danielle
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
one more thing though, i find i get really stressed out about taking the kids somewhere that you have to pay to go (movies, museums, etc.) and then because they are tired or decide that they aren't having fun - they want to leave 5min after arriving.
i am trying to be more in tune with them about timing around tiredness. however, i often don't want to take them somewhere that we have to pay because we are tight on money and i am worried they won't have fun and will want to leave and we just wasted X amount of dollars.
any comments? any ideas?
holly
planning ; more practically than spirituality
Sandra wrote: > Planning can be good if you can be flexible about it.
Sometimes a plan
> becomes a list of things that didn't happen right, and that's sad. *** >If I decide before we go how I want the day to be, I'm likely to be
> disappointed.sunscreen
> If I don't make ANY plans and it turns out we really, truly needed
> and some hats but I hadn't brought any, and Holly's friend had to be homeby
> 1:00, so leaving at 11:00 instead of 9:30 was a bad plan, then I'll wish Ihad
> been more practical.=====================
Oh, this is sooo true!
I am a *huge* planner, but mostly in terms of contingencies and comfort. My
goal is to bring whatever might be necessary to keep the kids happy and
having fun, no matter what we might decide to do. That means never leaving
the house without food and drinks--that would be a major recipe for
disaster! I stopped carrying a diaper bag when my second was born (it was
amazing how much more stuff I need for 1 than for 3! *g*) What I did instead
was pack the really big diaper duffle with an extra change of clothes for
accidents, puddles, fountains, etc.; bandaids, motrin and other necessities;
rain gear; markers and coloring books; sunscrean and hats. Then I just keep
it in the car, so it's always with us. For a long time, I carted around a
plastic training potty for emergencies and parks without bathrooms. (The
worst part about that was my daughter telling me that my tushie was too big
to use it. *g* ) I also read and research a ton before we go on trips so
that I will know lots of different kinds of things to do. That way when one
thing doesn't work out or interest us, I've got another possibility we can
try. It's like mom's great big bag of tricks. When I can offer possibilities
and keep everyone comfortable, we have loads of fun together.
For me, flexibility and advance planning are the two things that make trips
and adventures so doable with three small kids (6, 5 and 4). But the key is
always to jettison preconceived notions and outsiders' opinions. I think
that's the rub with dh sometimes, though he's getting better. He gets into
this rigid framework about what we should see or how children should act and
it just makes everyone uptight. We've had several conversations about it,
often involving the phrase "Stepford children" in them somewhere. *eg*
--Danielle
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/17/04 7:31:48 AM, aceto3@... writes:
<<
We have memberships to the local museums and go to the local cheap theater
($1/person). We do it precisely because it is then so easy to move on to
something else if no one is having fun and you don't feel like you just blew $30 on
the 15 minutes that you have been there.
seems decadent, but if you've paid by the year, it's glorious! We can just go
play with one thing at the science museum, or just use the microscopes at the
natural history museum, or just look at the armor at the local history place.
Very nice.
Sandra
<<
We have memberships to the local museums and go to the local cheap theater
($1/person). We do it precisely because it is then so easy to move on to
something else if no one is having fun and you don't feel like you just blew $30 on
the 15 minutes that you have been there.
>>We have sometimes gone into a museum to do or look at one single thing. It
seems decadent, but if you've paid by the year, it's glorious! We can just go
play with one thing at the science museum, or just use the microscopes at the
natural history museum, or just look at the armor at the local history place.
Very nice.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 05/17/2004 11:38:42 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
pamsoroosh@... writes:
big success, but it's the only way to get to the second and subsequent
encounters. Doesn't mean the first time was a waste. :) JJ
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pamsoroosh@... writes:
> And I overheard one of my kids telling another kid aboutLike new foods -- the first introduction isn't usually going to be a
> the Tar Pits and how awesome it was. Surprised me <G>. And we've gone
> back MANY times since.
>
> I try to think that the money was spent on exposing or introducing them
> to what was there so now they know.
>
big success, but it's the only way to get to the second and subsequent
encounters. Doesn't mean the first time was a waste. :) JJ
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn Coburn
<<Do kids want to leave movies that they have chosen to see, after the
movie starts? You'll have to describe that situation further - that
seems unusual.>>
We took Jayn to see "Finding Nemo" at the cinema. I guess she was just 4 or
close to it, and she really has had a problem with large dark echoing spaces
filled with noisy people - and this was a full matinee. However she was
excited to go in. There were a lot of ads and a funny short animation about
a snowman in a snowglobe. At the end of that she was done, and wanted to go
home. So we left - and I was ready to let go of the $22.00. However James,
always brave about asking for a better deal, went and got a refund from the
manager. Jayn still talks about that short, which happily is on the DVD
also.
We also walked away from Disney on Ice the first time we went when Jayn was
just 3, since she was afraid of the Witch in Snow White when she first came
out. That was close to $200.00 with parking and snacks. However the next
time we went, we chose seats right in front of an exit, and spent the first
half going in and out, watching from standing in the doorway, listening for
the scary music to be done, or peeking through the curtains. After the
intermission, Jayn was brave enough to sit and watch the whole second half
about Cinderella, and now wants front row seats next time, so that she can
get a hug from the Princesses at the end.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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movie starts? You'll have to describe that situation further - that
seems unusual.>>
We took Jayn to see "Finding Nemo" at the cinema. I guess she was just 4 or
close to it, and she really has had a problem with large dark echoing spaces
filled with noisy people - and this was a full matinee. However she was
excited to go in. There were a lot of ads and a funny short animation about
a snowman in a snowglobe. At the end of that she was done, and wanted to go
home. So we left - and I was ready to let go of the $22.00. However James,
always brave about asking for a better deal, went and got a refund from the
manager. Jayn still talks about that short, which happily is on the DVD
also.
We also walked away from Disney on Ice the first time we went when Jayn was
just 3, since she was afraid of the Witch in Snow White when she first came
out. That was close to $200.00 with parking and snacks. However the next
time we went, we chose seats right in front of an exit, and spent the first
half going in and out, watching from standing in the doorway, listening for
the scary music to be done, or peeking through the curtains. After the
intermission, Jayn was brave enough to sit and watch the whole second half
about Cinderella, and now wants front row seats next time, so that she can
get a hug from the Princesses at the end.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.658 / Virus Database: 421 - Release Date: 4/9/2004
[email protected]
dezigna@... writes:
to, when she was Jayn's age or even younger, I'd say. It was a matinee of the
re-release of 101 Dalmations. She really wanted to be there, was so excited --
and then hated the big, dark theatre. She loved the lobby, and being able to
peek in (but not actually go in and sit) now and then.
So we stayed the entire time but saw almost none of the movie! She was
happy though. A real lesson in child-led learning for me, and this was before
I knew anything other than "school" or had any friends with little ones for
support. Fortunately I had read Penelope Leach, and that was all the philosophy
I had to go on. :) JJ
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> <<Do kids want to leave movies that they have chosen to see, after theWe had a very similar experience with the first movie I ever took DD
> movie starts? You'll have to describe that situation further - that
> seems unusual.>>
>
> We took Jayn to see "Finding Nemo" at the cinema. I guess she was just 4 or
> close to it, and she really has had a problem with large dark echoing spaces
> filled with noisy people - and this was a full matinee. However she was
> excited to go in. There were a lot of ads and a funny short animation about
> a snowman in a snowglobe. At the end of that she was done, and wanted to go
> home. So we left - and I was ready to let go of the $22.00. However James,
> always brave about asking for a better deal, went and got a refund from the
> manager. Jayn still talks about that short, which happily is on the DVD
> also.
>
to, when she was Jayn's age or even younger, I'd say. It was a matinee of the
re-release of 101 Dalmations. She really wanted to be there, was so excited --
and then hated the big, dark theatre. She loved the lobby, and being able to
peek in (but not actually go in and sit) now and then.
So we stayed the entire time but saw almost none of the movie! She was
happy though. A real lesson in child-led learning for me, and this was before
I knew anything other than "school" or had any friends with little ones for
support. Fortunately I had read Penelope Leach, and that was all the philosophy
I had to go on. :) JJ
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]