Unschooling and multiple children
dinalauzon
I would like to hear from those of you who employ (or have employed)
the unschooling philosophy with a large family. Logistic-wise how
does it work for you? How do you help ALL of your children explore
their various interests?
Unfortunately, most of what *I* have read about other unschoolers
has been geared to people with 1 or two children.(feel free to
recommend reading material here!) Sometimes I feel like I can't
relate. (I have six)
Just wondering if there is a successful unschooling family out there
that could shed some light on how to make it all work. (at least
most of the time anyway! LOL)
Thanks!
Dina
the unschooling philosophy with a large family. Logistic-wise how
does it work for you? How do you help ALL of your children explore
their various interests?
Unfortunately, most of what *I* have read about other unschoolers
has been geared to people with 1 or two children.(feel free to
recommend reading material here!) Sometimes I feel like I can't
relate. (I have six)
Just wondering if there is a successful unschooling family out there
that could shed some light on how to make it all work. (at least
most of the time anyway! LOL)
Thanks!
Dina
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/12/2004 1:55:05 AM Eastern Standard Time,
dlauzon32@... writes:
<<I would like to hear from those of you who employ (or have employed)
the unschooling philosophy with a large family.>>
I unschool all my children: Lia (6), JoAnn(7), Paige (10), Antonio (11), and
Emily (15). One of the things that kept me a relaxed/eclectic homeschooler
for a while was that I had so many children, and I thought that as a
unschooler, I just naturally wouldn't give each child enough attention. Well, I was
definitely wrong.
Now it is so much easier to give each child what they need at the moment. My
children do what they want when they want...while still respecting the others
they live with (their siblings and me.) Sometimes this means that I'm not
available for help right away because I'm helping someone else. That's OK.
That's just part of being a big family. (I'm a single parent too, so I don't have
a *helper*.)
Luckily, most of my children are able to explore their interests on their
own. They are very independent. But I have become very adept at multitasking
too! Lately Lia (who cannot read very much yet) has taken an interest in
writing. I've developed the ability to spell words while doing pretty much anything
else at the same time. All my kids like to join me in the kitchen, and the
older ones enjoy spending time with the younger ones most of the time. We all
have our own strengths and weaknesses so I think that we really all help each
other. For example, right now, Emily is helping me explore my interests in
graphic design and dancing. JoAnn often does the spelling for Lia. Antonio
(the resident computer expert) helps all of us!
I recently asked each of my kids, during a rare alone with me moment, how
they felt about the *radical unschooling* (I've only extended the philosophy to
bedtimes, food, and chores since about Oct. 2003.) They were all so happy and
had no reservations. Matter of fact, I've noticed a few of them have started
referring to school as *juvenile jail*.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
dlauzon32@... writes:
<<I would like to hear from those of you who employ (or have employed)
the unschooling philosophy with a large family.>>
I unschool all my children: Lia (6), JoAnn(7), Paige (10), Antonio (11), and
Emily (15). One of the things that kept me a relaxed/eclectic homeschooler
for a while was that I had so many children, and I thought that as a
unschooler, I just naturally wouldn't give each child enough attention. Well, I was
definitely wrong.
Now it is so much easier to give each child what they need at the moment. My
children do what they want when they want...while still respecting the others
they live with (their siblings and me.) Sometimes this means that I'm not
available for help right away because I'm helping someone else. That's OK.
That's just part of being a big family. (I'm a single parent too, so I don't have
a *helper*.)
Luckily, most of my children are able to explore their interests on their
own. They are very independent. But I have become very adept at multitasking
too! Lately Lia (who cannot read very much yet) has taken an interest in
writing. I've developed the ability to spell words while doing pretty much anything
else at the same time. All my kids like to join me in the kitchen, and the
older ones enjoy spending time with the younger ones most of the time. We all
have our own strengths and weaknesses so I think that we really all help each
other. For example, right now, Emily is helping me explore my interests in
graphic design and dancing. JoAnn often does the spelling for Lia. Antonio
(the resident computer expert) helps all of us!
I recently asked each of my kids, during a rare alone with me moment, how
they felt about the *radical unschooling* (I've only extended the philosophy to
bedtimes, food, and chores since about Oct. 2003.) They were all so happy and
had no reservations. Matter of fact, I've noticed a few of them have started
referring to school as *juvenile jail*.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Marti
We have four (ages 4-13). I have a Pocket PC with our calendar, shopping
lists, etc. Makes life a lot easier to remember who goes where, and
when!
We have several families with whom we swap kids, so not all of the
adults take all of the kids to all of the places they want to go. This
gives my girls a chance to go and do much more than if I felt I needed
to accompany them everywhere. Gives them a bit of independence, and
saves money too.
The girls help pay for their stuff at times - just depends on my budget,
their budget, the particular activity, etc. They're game for saving for
something that's just for their fun, and may cost more than what I want
to spend.
Probably the biggest thing is realizing that I can't be everywhere with
all of the girls, and have any time to myself. I want them to see me
learning and doing stuff that I like to do. Sometimes they can join
in... I knit - one likes to do that with me, a couple like to be in the
room but doing something else, one doesn't care. Sometimes I have an
interest on my own, and they see me learning and growing in that area
apart from their proclivities.
Each girl and I have at least one area that we both are interested in
together, so I purpose to do that thing with that girl when I have the
chance. It just sort of works itself out... but the main thing is that
I'm not the glue that holds it all together - having to be and do it
all. The family is more like a web of interconnectedness, and I just
coordinate the calendar :-)
Marti
Smithsburg, MD
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lists, etc. Makes life a lot easier to remember who goes where, and
when!
We have several families with whom we swap kids, so not all of the
adults take all of the kids to all of the places they want to go. This
gives my girls a chance to go and do much more than if I felt I needed
to accompany them everywhere. Gives them a bit of independence, and
saves money too.
The girls help pay for their stuff at times - just depends on my budget,
their budget, the particular activity, etc. They're game for saving for
something that's just for their fun, and may cost more than what I want
to spend.
Probably the biggest thing is realizing that I can't be everywhere with
all of the girls, and have any time to myself. I want them to see me
learning and doing stuff that I like to do. Sometimes they can join
in... I knit - one likes to do that with me, a couple like to be in the
room but doing something else, one doesn't care. Sometimes I have an
interest on my own, and they see me learning and growing in that area
apart from their proclivities.
Each girl and I have at least one area that we both are interested in
together, so I purpose to do that thing with that girl when I have the
chance. It just sort of works itself out... but the main thing is that
I'm not the glue that holds it all together - having to be and do it
all. The family is more like a web of interconnectedness, and I just
coordinate the calendar :-)
Marti
Smithsburg, MD
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Julie Bogart
--- In [email protected], "Marti" <marti@g...> wrote:
but the main thing is that
> I'm not the glue that holds it all together - having to be and do it
> all. The family is more like a web of interconnectedness, and I just
> coordinate the calendar :-)
Perfect explanation! I agree.
Julie B
Julie Bogart
--- In [email protected], "dinalauzon"
<dlauzon32@h...> wrote:
sometimes feel chained to my car, find myself digging in the couch for
change to pay for stuff and wonder if we'll ever have a free Saturday
again. <g>
them to their various activities. I have several who love to play
sports (three during the spring), one who takes art lessons, two who
are in drama, another who has a cookie business and we're a part of a
co-op.
I try to keep a family calendar and we juggle the finances by expecting
more contributions toward their interests by the older ones who can
earn and less from the younger ones. We try to keep sports to one per
child per year, but that isn't totally working now that we have a
couple who are really into what they play. So we keep juggling.
During the weeks at home, the older two pretty much follow their
interests on their own, with dialog and support. The younger three
spend the days with me and we do stuff together - reading aloud,
drawing, hiking, playing games, watching movies, cooking.
The biggest adjustment for me has been to realize that I don't have to
"make" anything happen. I just need to be available. As interests
develop, I support as far as I can. One of our kids loves astronomy and
has wanted to go to Space Camp for the last two years. My husband
helped him start a cookie business and this kid (now 12) has earned
over $700 selling cookies in our neighborhood to pay for camp. When we
were cash poor and my two older kids wanted to do Vintage Dance
lessons, we offered to post flyers every week in different
neighborhoods and they waived the fees.
We have several computers (keep collecting more), we have X Box, we
have DVR and two TVs. I recommend multiple everything so that there
aren't unnecessary conflicts over who gets to watch, play what and
when.
And I've learned that with five kids, motivation must come from within
them. We support them as far as we can, but they are the ones to
practice or follow an interest. I'm an avid bird watcher and have a son
who enjoys it too. I just do what I do with birds. He's welcome to
participate or not. He does. The others only show mild interest, and
that's fine.
Rambliing, but hope that helps a bit.
Julie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
<dlauzon32@h...> wrote:
> I would like to hear from those of you who employ (or have employed)We have five kids (7-17) and I can totally relate to the question. I
> the unschooling philosophy with a large family. Logistic-wise how
> does it work for you? How do you help ALL of your children explore
> their various interests?
sometimes feel chained to my car, find myself digging in the couch for
change to pay for stuff and wonder if we'll ever have a free Saturday
again. <g>
> Unfortunately, most of what *I* have read about other unschoolersThe hardest part for us is paying for all they want to do and driving
> has been geared to people with 1 or two children.(feel free to
> recommend reading material here!) Sometimes I feel like I can't
> relate. (I have six)
> Just wondering if there is a successful unschooling family out there
> that could shed some light on how to make it all work. (at least
> most of the time anyway! LOL)
them to their various activities. I have several who love to play
sports (three during the spring), one who takes art lessons, two who
are in drama, another who has a cookie business and we're a part of a
co-op.
I try to keep a family calendar and we juggle the finances by expecting
more contributions toward their interests by the older ones who can
earn and less from the younger ones. We try to keep sports to one per
child per year, but that isn't totally working now that we have a
couple who are really into what they play. So we keep juggling.
During the weeks at home, the older two pretty much follow their
interests on their own, with dialog and support. The younger three
spend the days with me and we do stuff together - reading aloud,
drawing, hiking, playing games, watching movies, cooking.
The biggest adjustment for me has been to realize that I don't have to
"make" anything happen. I just need to be available. As interests
develop, I support as far as I can. One of our kids loves astronomy and
has wanted to go to Space Camp for the last two years. My husband
helped him start a cookie business and this kid (now 12) has earned
over $700 selling cookies in our neighborhood to pay for camp. When we
were cash poor and my two older kids wanted to do Vintage Dance
lessons, we offered to post flyers every week in different
neighborhoods and they waived the fees.
We have several computers (keep collecting more), we have X Box, we
have DVR and two TVs. I recommend multiple everything so that there
aren't unnecessary conflicts over who gets to watch, play what and
when.
And I've learned that with five kids, motivation must come from within
them. We support them as far as we can, but they are the ones to
practice or follow an interest. I'm an avid bird watcher and have a son
who enjoys it too. I just do what I do with birds. He's welcome to
participate or not. He does. The others only show mild interest, and
that's fine.
Rambliing, but hope that helps a bit.
Julie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
J. Stauffer
We have 5 children. I have found that for us the key is that I make sure I
get enough sleep.
What does not work in our home is me being involved in everything everyone
is doing at all times. There just isn't enough of me to go around and it
turns into a fight between the younger kids.
They pretty much do what they want, often together, sometimes alone, and I
"touch base" with them often throughout the day. But when I "touch base", I
am 100% in the moment with them, asking questions I am truly interested in,
making comments from the heart, etc..
Over time, some of the kids have become interested in things the other kids
are doing. Two are competitive gymnasts, 3 are huge into 4-h.
We have found that we do have to limit the number of outside activities per
kid somewhat simply do to logistics. Even so, on some Wednesday evenings,
we have 4 different places we are supposed to be at the same time. So we do
the best we can.
But most important, a sense of humor is such a good thing. Things will be
very chaotic at times. If any of you have seen the new "Cheaper By the
Dozen", the kids laughed and laughed at how much that was like our family.
Good luck.
Julie S.
get enough sleep.
What does not work in our home is me being involved in everything everyone
is doing at all times. There just isn't enough of me to go around and it
turns into a fight between the younger kids.
They pretty much do what they want, often together, sometimes alone, and I
"touch base" with them often throughout the day. But when I "touch base", I
am 100% in the moment with them, asking questions I am truly interested in,
making comments from the heart, etc..
Over time, some of the kids have become interested in things the other kids
are doing. Two are competitive gymnasts, 3 are huge into 4-h.
We have found that we do have to limit the number of outside activities per
kid somewhat simply do to logistics. Even so, on some Wednesday evenings,
we have 4 different places we are supposed to be at the same time. So we do
the best we can.
But most important, a sense of humor is such a good thing. Things will be
very chaotic at times. If any of you have seen the new "Cheaper By the
Dozen", the kids laughed and laughed at how much that was like our family.
Good luck.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "dinalauzon" <dlauzon32@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, May 11, 2004 11:13 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Unschooling and multiple children
> I would like to hear from those of you who employ (or have employed)
> the unschooling philosophy with a large family. Logistic-wise how
> does it work for you? How do you help ALL of your children explore
> their various interests?
> Unfortunately, most of what *I* have read about other unschoolers
> has been geared to people with 1 or two children.(feel free to
> recommend reading material here!) Sometimes I feel like I can't
> relate. (I have six)
> Just wondering if there is a successful unschooling family out there
> that could shed some light on how to make it all work. (at least
> most of the time anyway! LOL)
>
> Thanks!
> Dina
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
[email protected]
jnjstau@... writes:
is that if we did NOTHING else different from other families at all,
unschooling still would be vastly better for our kids than schooling, just because they
can get enough sleep at the right times for their needs, to be centered and
relaxed and emotionally healthy. JJ
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>Speaking of enough sleep -- One of my pet theories about unschooling
> We have 5 children. I have found that for us the key is that I make sure I
> get enough sleep.
>
is that if we did NOTHING else different from other families at all,
unschooling still would be vastly better for our kids than schooling, just because they
can get enough sleep at the right times for their needs, to be centered and
relaxed and emotionally healthy. JJ
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/12/2004 11:48:39 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
jrossedd@... writes:
Speaking of enough sleep -- One of my pet theories about unschooling
is that if we did NOTHING else different from other families at all,
unschooling still would be vastly better for our kids than schooling, just
because they
can get enough sleep at the right times for their needs, to be centered and
relaxed and emotionally healthy. JJ<<<<
I agree with you. The body grows and heals when we sleep. Those poor schooled
teens----up at 6:00, schooled until 3:00, afterschool programs until 5 or
6:00, homework for 2-3 hours and supper. Plus somehow they have to squeeze in
those seven hours of decompression TV everyday. Only to get up at 6:00 the next
mroning.
How do they DO that???
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jrossedd@... writes:
Speaking of enough sleep -- One of my pet theories about unschooling
is that if we did NOTHING else different from other families at all,
unschooling still would be vastly better for our kids than schooling, just
because they
can get enough sleep at the right times for their needs, to be centered and
relaxed and emotionally healthy. JJ<<<<
I agree with you. The body grows and heals when we sleep. Those poor schooled
teens----up at 6:00, schooled until 3:00, afterschool programs until 5 or
6:00, homework for 2-3 hours and supper. Plus somehow they have to squeeze in
those seven hours of decompression TV everyday. Only to get up at 6:00 the next
mroning.
How do they DO that???
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]