un breakfast /more info
One of the Wechts
Oops I forgot. Kids are 15,12, 8. They are old enough to help or cook for themselves. None have shown much interest in this, unless it is making cookies or brownies. I know I am not the best at modeling fun kitchen activity. I am working on it and secretly hoping one of the three will have a more natural affinity that I do. Thanks for the good ideas, I am still reading.
Beth in MD
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Beth in MD
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
joylyn
I have a nine year old and a five year old. Unless I really wanted to
be a short order cook, I wouldn't make three different breakfasts every
day for kids old enough to cook.
joylyn
One of the Wechts wrote:
be a short order cook, I wouldn't make three different breakfasts every
day for kids old enough to cook.
joylyn
One of the Wechts wrote:
> Oops I forgot. Kids are 15,12, 8. They are old enough to help or[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> cook for themselves. None have shown much interest in this, unless it
> is making cookies or brownies. I know I am not the best at modeling
> fun kitchen activity. I am working on it and secretly hoping one of
> the three will have a more natural affinity that I do. Thanks for the
> good ideas, I am still reading.
> Beth in MD
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
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Holly like thinned down pancakes (after I make the first half or so, I put
more milk in the batter and make thinner ones) with strawberry cream cheese
spread on them, and then they're rolled up. They're good right then, and they're
good cold later.
Sandra
more milk in the batter and make thinner ones) with strawberry cream cheese
spread on them, and then they're rolled up. They're good right then, and they're
good cold later.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/7/04 6:33:55 PM, joylyn@... writes:
<< I have a nine year old and a five year old. Unless I really wanted to
be a short order cook, I wouldn't make three different breakfasts every
day for kids old enough to cook. >>
My mom used to say "I'm not a short order cook," but it was always an insult.
I hope people didn't say that to you too when you were little, Joylyn. It
really didn't feel good when I was a kid, and truth to tell my mom was a
horrible cook anyway. I was better when we learned to cook our own. But several
lives would've been better if she had helped us or encouraged us instead of
saying "eat what I fixed or go hungry."
Sandra
<< I have a nine year old and a five year old. Unless I really wanted to
be a short order cook, I wouldn't make three different breakfasts every
day for kids old enough to cook. >>
My mom used to say "I'm not a short order cook," but it was always an insult.
I hope people didn't say that to you too when you were little, Joylyn. It
really didn't feel good when I was a kid, and truth to tell my mom was a
horrible cook anyway. I was better when we learned to cook our own. But several
lives would've been better if she had helped us or encouraged us instead of
saying "eat what I fixed or go hungry."
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/7/04 6:33:55 PM, joylyn@... writes:
<< I have a nine year old and a five year old. Unless I really wanted to
be a short order cook, I wouldn't make three different breakfasts every
day for kids old enough to cook. >>
I tried to reconsider, given the "for kids old enough to cook" stipulation.
"Old enough to cook" comes at different ages for different kids. I sometimes
offer to cook for Kirby if he's got to go to work and the situation in the
past halfday or so before that was not food-filled. He's 17, but I'd rather him
go to work feeling fed and loved than to go feelng like he's old enough to
cook but has a mother who's not a short-order cook. So yes, if the kids are
perfectly capable and not in a hurry to go anywhere, requests for elaborate
breakfasts don't seem totally reasonable, but an offer to make bacon (on my part)
is ony a favor for Marty, because neither Kirby nor Holly likes it. And
Holly and Marty like oatmeal, but Kirby and Keith don't.
I'd rather make oatmeal and bacon and eggs and let people eat what they want
than make one of them and tell the rest to go hungry or make their own.
And the older they get the more often they offer to make me something, or to
help, and it's good that way.
Sandra
<< I have a nine year old and a five year old. Unless I really wanted to
be a short order cook, I wouldn't make three different breakfasts every
day for kids old enough to cook. >>
I tried to reconsider, given the "for kids old enough to cook" stipulation.
"Old enough to cook" comes at different ages for different kids. I sometimes
offer to cook for Kirby if he's got to go to work and the situation in the
past halfday or so before that was not food-filled. He's 17, but I'd rather him
go to work feeling fed and loved than to go feelng like he's old enough to
cook but has a mother who's not a short-order cook. So yes, if the kids are
perfectly capable and not in a hurry to go anywhere, requests for elaborate
breakfasts don't seem totally reasonable, but an offer to make bacon (on my part)
is ony a favor for Marty, because neither Kirby nor Holly likes it. And
Holly and Marty like oatmeal, but Kirby and Keith don't.
I'd rather make oatmeal and bacon and eggs and let people eat what they want
than make one of them and tell the rest to go hungry or make their own.
And the older they get the more often they offer to make me something, or to
help, and it's good that way.
Sandra
joylyn
SandraDodd@... wrote:
when it wasn't really what they wanted or needed to do. I'm all for
parents making 100 different breakfasts, if that is what they want, but
every day? All the time? That's not reality or life. Sometimes they
made what I wanted, sometimes I made what I wanted, sometimes I made
what they wanted.
I have one very sweet memory of being sick for a few days. When I felt
better, I hadn't eaten in a few days and my dad asked me what he could
make for me. All I wanted was chili with cheese and onions. My dad
said we didn't have any but he was on the way to the store to get me
what I wanted. He came back with five or six different types of chili,
which one did I want specifically?
mother wasn't nice to you and said words that pained you.
Joylyn
>No, but they also didn't satisfy my every desire or whim, especially
> In a message dated 5/7/04 6:33:55 PM, joylyn@... writes:
>
> << I have a nine year old and a five year old. Unless I really wanted to
> be a short order cook, I wouldn't make three different breakfasts every
> day for kids old enough to cook. >>
>
> My mom used to say "I'm not a short order cook," but it was always an
> insult.
> I hope people didn't say that to you too when you were little, Joylyn.
when it wasn't really what they wanted or needed to do. I'm all for
parents making 100 different breakfasts, if that is what they want, but
every day? All the time? That's not reality or life. Sometimes they
made what I wanted, sometimes I made what I wanted, sometimes I made
what they wanted.
I have one very sweet memory of being sick for a few days. When I felt
better, I hadn't eaten in a few days and my dad asked me what he could
make for me. All I wanted was chili with cheese and onions. My dad
said we didn't have any but he was on the way to the store to get me
what I wanted. He came back with five or six different types of chili,
which one did I want specifically?
> ItSandra, my life experience is not and was not yours. I'm sorry your
> really didn't feel good when I was a kid, and truth to tell my mom was a
> horrible cook anyway. I was better when we learned to cook our own.
> But several
> lives would've been better if she had helped us or encouraged us
> instead of
> saying "eat what I fixed or go hungry."
mother wasn't nice to you and said words that pained you.
Joylyn
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
joylyn
I love to cook for my kids. And for Mark. And on a day I might cook
three or four different menu items, satisfying the needs of each family
member. But every day? All the time? No.
Joylyn
SandraDodd@... wrote:
three or four different menu items, satisfying the needs of each family
member. But every day? All the time? No.
Joylyn
SandraDodd@... wrote:
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> In a message dated 5/7/04 6:33:55 PM, joylyn@... writes:
>
> << I have a nine year old and a five year old. Unless I really wanted to
> be a short order cook, I wouldn't make three different breakfasts every
> day for kids old enough to cook. >>
>
> I tried to reconsider, given the "for kids old enough to cook"
> stipulation.
> "Old enough to cook" comes at different ages for different kids. I
> sometimes
> offer to cook for Kirby if he's got to go to work and the situation in
> the
> past halfday or so before that was not food-filled. He's 17, but I'd
> rather him
> go to work feeling fed and loved than to go feelng like he's old
> enough to
> cook but has a mother who's not a short-order cook. So yes, if the
> kids are
> perfectly capable and not in a hurry to go anywhere, requests for
> elaborate
> breakfasts don't seem totally reasonable, but an offer to make bacon
> (on my part)
> is ony a favor for Marty, because neither Kirby nor Holly likes it. And
> Holly and Marty like oatmeal, but Kirby and Keith don't.
>
> I'd rather make oatmeal and bacon and eggs and let people eat what
> they want
> than make one of them and tell the rest to go hungry or make their own.
>
> And the older they get the more often they offer to make me
> something, or to
> help, and it's good that way.
>
> Sandra
>
>
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Mary
In a message dated 5/7/04 6:33:55 PM, joylyn@... writes:
<< I have a nine year old and a five year old. Unless I really wanted to
be a short order cook, I wouldn't make three different breakfasts every
day for kids old enough to cook. >>
Well I guess by some people's standards, 3 of my kids are old enough to get
their own breakfast. They are 18, 9, 8 and 3. The 18 year old isn't really
here to eat and she does make a lunch for herself if she's at school or work
and cooks herself something to eat most times before work. But, when she is
home and wants pancakes, I gladly make them for her. And if I see the time
before work to fix something for her, I do that too.
The other 3 hardly ever eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
(I mean from each other) I almost always make them what they want to eat.
That sometimes means 3 separate (thanks Sandra) meals plus what my husband
and I eat. It's not a big deal. I see now how fast Tara has grown and gone
along her own way, even if she's still in this house. The other ones will be
there soon enough. I want them to remember the special things I do for them.
They don't take advantage and I don't feel like I'm waiting on them. It
feels like nurturing to me. It feels like what I like and want to do. It
feels like love.
Mary B
<< I have a nine year old and a five year old. Unless I really wanted to
be a short order cook, I wouldn't make three different breakfasts every
day for kids old enough to cook. >>
Well I guess by some people's standards, 3 of my kids are old enough to get
their own breakfast. They are 18, 9, 8 and 3. The 18 year old isn't really
here to eat and she does make a lunch for herself if she's at school or work
and cooks herself something to eat most times before work. But, when she is
home and wants pancakes, I gladly make them for her. And if I see the time
before work to fix something for her, I do that too.
The other 3 hardly ever eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
(I mean from each other) I almost always make them what they want to eat.
That sometimes means 3 separate (thanks Sandra) meals plus what my husband
and I eat. It's not a big deal. I see now how fast Tara has grown and gone
along her own way, even if she's still in this house. The other ones will be
there soon enough. I want them to remember the special things I do for them.
They don't take advantage and I don't feel like I'm waiting on them. It
feels like nurturing to me. It feels like what I like and want to do. It
feels like love.
Mary B
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/9/04 9:24:18 PM, joylyn@... writes:
<< I'm all for
parents making 100 different breakfasts, if that is what they want, but
every day? All the time? That's not reality or life. >>
Only when they want to.
The nicer parents are to children, the nicer children are to parents. When
nobody's being taken advantage of, but all are really being generous, it works
out better for all of them, and for all their friends and relatives. If
anyone in that chain shuts down and starts only doing what has to be done and
feeling resentful, then another one will and another.
-=-Sandra, my life experience is not and was not yours. -=-
I know, but you used a phrase she used to use and it reminded me of that.
There are phrases that go with ideas and justifications and thoughts, and the
phrases don't seem to exist outside those passed-down stances. "I'm not a short
order cook" is one of those.
Sandra
<< I'm all for
parents making 100 different breakfasts, if that is what they want, but
every day? All the time? That's not reality or life. >>
Only when they want to.
The nicer parents are to children, the nicer children are to parents. When
nobody's being taken advantage of, but all are really being generous, it works
out better for all of them, and for all their friends and relatives. If
anyone in that chain shuts down and starts only doing what has to be done and
feeling resentful, then another one will and another.
-=-Sandra, my life experience is not and was not yours. -=-
I know, but you used a phrase she used to use and it reminded me of that.
There are phrases that go with ideas and justifications and thoughts, and the
phrases don't seem to exist outside those passed-down stances. "I'm not a short
order cook" is one of those.
Sandra
Danielle Conger
> Well I guess by some people's standards, 3 of my kids are old enough toget
> their own breakfast. They are 18, 9, 8 and 3. The 18 year old isn't reallywork
> here to eat and she does make a lunch for herself if she's at school or
> and cooks herself something to eat most times before work. But, when sheis
> home and wants pancakes, I gladly make them for her. And if I see the timedinner.
> before work to fix something for her, I do that too.
>
> The other 3 hardly ever eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch and
> (I mean from each other) I almost always make them what they want to eat.be
> That sometimes means 3 separate (thanks Sandra) meals plus what my husband
> and I eat. It's not a big deal. I see now how fast Tara has grown and gone
> along her own way, even if she's still in this house. The other ones will
> there soon enough. I want them to remember the special things I do forthem.
> They don't take advantage and I don't feel like I'm waiting on them. It===============================
> feels like nurturing to me. It feels like what I like and want to do. It
> feels like love.
This has been suggested already by myself and others, but I just wanted to
throw it out there again because this conversation seems to be reducing to
an either/ or kind of thing. Both/and is a much better goal than either/or
in my opinion, so fwiw...
It really is very easy to double a recipe of waffles/ pancakes/ grits/ etc.
to have on hand to heat up or to take a little bit of time one day to make
up a huge batch to be able to pull out. This way mom doesn't have to make
several meals from scratch and the kids still get what they are hungry for
at that particular meal or at least a couple of different choices. This is
what saves our meals--breakfast and dinner. I started doing this for dinner
as well so that I always have a batch of rice and pasta to heat up for those
who don't feel like eating what I made that night--much more peace and peace
of mind for all of us.
--Danielle
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
[email protected]
This made me think of the way housework had been getting done in my house
recently. I never gave my ds chores, but when I tell him that the clutter is
making me unhappy and ask if he can help me with it he often cheerfully pitches
in to tame the mess. I have almost always cooked him separte meals from what
me husband and I eat. Give and take. Making someone you love happy because it
makes tham happy (and you too).
In a message dated 5/10/2004 1:46:41 AM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
The nicer parents are to children, the nicer children are to parents. When
nobody's being taken advantage of, but all are really being generous, it
works
out better for all of them, and for all their friends and relatives.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
recently. I never gave my ds chores, but when I tell him that the clutter is
making me unhappy and ask if he can help me with it he often cheerfully pitches
in to tame the mess. I have almost always cooked him separte meals from what
me husband and I eat. Give and take. Making someone you love happy because it
makes tham happy (and you too).
In a message dated 5/10/2004 1:46:41 AM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
The nicer parents are to children, the nicer children are to parents. When
nobody's being taken advantage of, but all are really being generous, it
works
out better for all of them, and for all their friends and relatives.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
J. Stauffer
<<< They don't take advantage and I don't feel like I'm waiting on them. It
I tend to be more at the Joylyn end of the continuum. I do lots and lots of
things to help my kids and to make them happy. But cooking 7 different
meals isn't one of them.
I try to have at least one thing that I know each person likes at the meals.
Other than that you are welcome to make a sandwich or something.....but I'm
not doing it for you on a regular basis.
Julie S.
> feels like nurturing to me. It feels like what I like and want to do. ItThen that is absolutely what you should do.
> feels like love.>>>>
I tend to be more at the Joylyn end of the continuum. I do lots and lots of
things to help my kids and to make them happy. But cooking 7 different
meals isn't one of them.
I try to have at least one thing that I know each person likes at the meals.
Other than that you are welcome to make a sandwich or something.....but I'm
not doing it for you on a regular basis.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mary" <mummy124@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, May 09, 2004 10:46 PM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] un breakfast /more info
> In a message dated 5/7/04 6:33:55 PM, joylyn@... writes:
>
> << I have a nine year old and a five year old. Unless I really wanted to
> be a short order cook, I wouldn't make three different breakfasts every
> day for kids old enough to cook. >>
>
>
>
>
> Well I guess by some people's standards, 3 of my kids are old enough to
get
> their own breakfast. They are 18, 9, 8 and 3. The 18 year old isn't really
> here to eat and she does make a lunch for herself if she's at school or
work
> and cooks herself something to eat most times before work. But, when she
is
> home and wants pancakes, I gladly make them for her. And if I see the time
> before work to fix something for her, I do that too.
>
> The other 3 hardly ever eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch and
dinner.
> (I mean from each other) I almost always make them what they want to eat.
> That sometimes means 3 separate (thanks Sandra) meals plus what my husband
> and I eat. It's not a big deal. I see now how fast Tara has grown and gone
> along her own way, even if she's still in this house. The other ones will
be
> there soon enough. I want them to remember the special things I do for
them.
> They don't take advantage and I don't feel like I'm waiting on them. It
> feels like nurturing to me. It feels like what I like and want to do. It
> feels like love.
>
> Mary B
>
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
pam sorooshian
On May 9, 2004, at 8:22 PM, joylyn wrote:
eat what at least one of the kids wants, so you're talking about only
two different possible choices. If one wants eggs and the other wants
oatmeal, that's not such a big deal.
You're short of time because of your schedule, so it seems fair to me
to say that directly and openly to the kids, "I'd rather spend my
limited time with you doing other things than fixing each person
different foods." And they probably get that already and without you
even having to specifically say it. AND your kids probably really get
satisfaction out of fixing their own foods - they like that feeling of
competence and capability.
But that is really different than the "I'm not a short-order cook,"
attitude that Sandra is talking about - that is a resentful attitude
that conveys the message to the kids that they are just a bunch of work
and trouble.
I'm like Joylyn in that fixing food just isn't high on my list of fun
ways to spend my time - I try really hard to remember that it is a way
of showing my love for my family, but .... I'm always fighting my
natural inclination to want to just throw a loaf of bread and a jar of
peanut butter on the table and say, "Have at it!" <G>
We keep lots of frozen foods around - Stouffers Mac and Cheese, pot
pies, lasagna, frozen pizzas, hot pockets, and stuff like that. We have
string cheese and crackers. Cereal. Popcorn. We have lunch meats and
sliced cheese and bagels and cream cheese and celery and peanut butter.
Lots of left-overs. Lots of fruit. Everybody pretty much eats whatever
they fix for themselves throughout the day - somebody usually manages
to fix something to share with everybody else for dinner. I don't take
full responsibility even for dinner, anymore, because I'm too busy with
kids getting to and from activities and I teach college in the evening
and so on. I shop but then leave instructions with somebody else to get
something made - spaghetti, etc. I marinate meat of some kind and then
my husband barbeques it while I'm gone and we eat in shifts. We eat at
Subway a lot, because it is relatively inexpensive and healthy. We eat
at Souplantation (Sweet Tomatoes) and Fresh Choice (much better prices
for kids).
My kids are 19, 16, and 13, so it is way harder to all eat at the same
time anymore. I'm glad we do eat together a couple of times a week and
will try, during this coming summer, to make that happen more often
since it could be the last summer before my oldest moves out - who
knows if it'll be permanent or not - but could be.
-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
> I'm all forNeither is "100 different breakfasts." <G> Two kids - the adults can
> parents making 100 different breakfasts, if that is what they want, but
> every day? All the time? That's not reality or life.
eat what at least one of the kids wants, so you're talking about only
two different possible choices. If one wants eggs and the other wants
oatmeal, that's not such a big deal.
You're short of time because of your schedule, so it seems fair to me
to say that directly and openly to the kids, "I'd rather spend my
limited time with you doing other things than fixing each person
different foods." And they probably get that already and without you
even having to specifically say it. AND your kids probably really get
satisfaction out of fixing their own foods - they like that feeling of
competence and capability.
But that is really different than the "I'm not a short-order cook,"
attitude that Sandra is talking about - that is a resentful attitude
that conveys the message to the kids that they are just a bunch of work
and trouble.
I'm like Joylyn in that fixing food just isn't high on my list of fun
ways to spend my time - I try really hard to remember that it is a way
of showing my love for my family, but .... I'm always fighting my
natural inclination to want to just throw a loaf of bread and a jar of
peanut butter on the table and say, "Have at it!" <G>
We keep lots of frozen foods around - Stouffers Mac and Cheese, pot
pies, lasagna, frozen pizzas, hot pockets, and stuff like that. We have
string cheese and crackers. Cereal. Popcorn. We have lunch meats and
sliced cheese and bagels and cream cheese and celery and peanut butter.
Lots of left-overs. Lots of fruit. Everybody pretty much eats whatever
they fix for themselves throughout the day - somebody usually manages
to fix something to share with everybody else for dinner. I don't take
full responsibility even for dinner, anymore, because I'm too busy with
kids getting to and from activities and I teach college in the evening
and so on. I shop but then leave instructions with somebody else to get
something made - spaghetti, etc. I marinate meat of some kind and then
my husband barbeques it while I'm gone and we eat in shifts. We eat at
Subway a lot, because it is relatively inexpensive and healthy. We eat
at Souplantation (Sweet Tomatoes) and Fresh Choice (much better prices
for kids).
My kids are 19, 16, and 13, so it is way harder to all eat at the same
time anymore. I'm glad we do eat together a couple of times a week and
will try, during this coming summer, to make that happen more often
since it could be the last summer before my oldest moves out - who
knows if it'll be permanent or not - but could be.
-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.