Andy Holly Clarke

"I do think
that unschooling will prepare them for that independence. I went to
public school, and from personal experience I can say that naturally
I am a very independent person, but when I was ready to leave my
parents house and when I was prepared to, differed greatly because
of my inexperience with the daily life tasks that would be necessary
to be on my own. I see this in a lot of schooled adults."

I agree. And wish to add that school was like a crutch for me. I understood it and was decent at it. Now in adulthood, even to this day, I find myself wanting more direction from other people for MY life. I know how to cook and other basic things, but i really don't understand life as much as i need too. I don't understand myself as much as i need too.

holly

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

moonwindstarsky

I have that experience also. School is a babysitter until you
graduate, then you're on your own. So in a way you become dependent
upon a system to feel comfort, security, successful, accepted.
--- In [email protected], "Andy Holly Clarke"
<ahclarke@w...> wrote:
> "I do think
> that unschooling will prepare them for that independence. I went
to
> public school, and from personal experience I can say that
naturally
> I am a very independent person, but when I was ready to leave my
> parents house and when I was prepared to, differed greatly because
> of my inexperience with the daily life tasks that would be
necessary
> to be on my own. I see this in a lot of schooled adults."
>
> I agree. And wish to add that school was like a crutch for me. I
understood it and was decent at it. Now in adulthood, even to this
day, I find myself wanting more direction from other people for MY
life. I know how to cook and other basic things, but i really don't
understand life as much as i need too. I don't understand myself as
much as i need too.
>
> holly
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kristi

>I don't
understand myself as much as i need too.


This is true for me; I have spent my "adult" life figuring out just
who I am. I was defined growing up in two ways: there was the
identity I had within my dysfunctional and heavily emotionally
abusive family, and the identity I was given by teachers and peers
within the "school" structure. With both identities, achievement
and good behavior were key.

The most difficult part for me as a mo so far is to not pass that
identity on to my children. My kids tend to hit landmarks earlier
than other kids and also be pretty well-behaved (well, my first was
what you would call "well-behaved"); this of course made me feel
like a "good mom." About a year ago I realized how hard I was
pushing my daughter to learn; how much pride I was getting from the
things she *achieved,* and that understanding is what led me to the
idea of unschooling. I've just started a book called "don't push
your preschooler." My husband was pointing out that Orion doesn't
do a lot of what Morgaine did at his age, naming colors and shapes,
reciting the alphabet, identifying letters. It made me happy. He's
enjoying his babyhood -- not that Morgaine didn't enjoy hers, but he
has more freedom just to *be.* Isaac, at 7 wks, is also benefitting
from my learning -- he hasn't rolled over yet -- because he hasn't
been put down long enough. I don't feel the pressure to give
him "tummy time" so he can learn to crawl and roll like I did the
other two.

Isn't it wonderful to be able to step back sometimes and just see?

Kristi