Fun In Violence
autonomousangela
(I sent this a couple hours ago and it still hasn't shown up so I am
sending it again. Sorry if it comes again later. must be my server
is holding mail since I just sent an email to myself and never got
it back.)
Hi Everyone,
When my girls were really little (say 3 and 5) they brought their
dollies to the library one day and one of them spanked the doll and
told her she was bad. I almost died because back before I had
children, if I had seen that behavior, I would have assumed they
were mimicking what they had learned at home. Well, they certainly
didn't get that from me and I was horrified to think that someone
might think that. Well, now I don't worry so much about what other
people think unless it is a friend and something the girls do makes
them feel uncomfortable. That is the case concerning the following
behaviors that I would like some insight on.
My sweet little girls (ages 7 and 9) have a bit of an off sense of
humor. (ok, a lot of an off sense of humor! LOL!) For instance,
when we first got the Sims games, while playing, a Sim accidentally
caught on fire while it was cooking and it died. They thought it
was a riot that the grim reaper came and from that point on they
purposely caught their sims on fire. (made sure they had No cooking
skill points so the fires would happen.) They thought it was a riot
and anything like this just cracks them up. Of course, they shared
this information with their friend who is 9 and she thought it was
hilarious too and she started doing the same thing. I have
commented to the girls, as they burn their Sims, that "that is just
awful." (image running through my head of children growing up
lacking empathy for others and other horrible thoughts.) It does
make me feel bad that they think it's fun to torture their computer
people but I figure that is my issue so after several comments to
the effect that I thought it was awful, I stopped commenting on it
and really let it go. I know they like to get a rise out of me and
that is part of the fun of doing these things but I don't think that
is their driving force..they just truly think it is funny.
Along the same lines, they have these beanie babies that they love
and play with *every* day. (and have for three years) But they
think it is really funny to do torturous things to them. When I am
brushing their hair, if I snag a not, they punch Pellet (the
beanie) and laugh. And when they are playing with their friend
they make their Pellets do things that are against societies
expectations (like steal or kill) and then they punch them or beat
them and tell them they are bad. Both of the girls and their friend
think this is *so* funny. It does make me squirm inside sometimes
but I just bite my tongue and find something else to do other than
focus on it because they are really sweet girls and I know they
would never even cut in line, let alone hurt someone.
My friend has told me that she feels uncomfortable with this type of
play. She asked me to help her come to grips with it as she
realizes the reason she feels uncomfortable are her issues. I
really don't know what to tell her since it really makes me
uncomfortable too. My kids have re-assured me that they would never
do that to someone in real life and that Pellet isn't real and the
Sims aren't real. And they would never even do it to the stuffed
animals that they take comfort in and cuddle.
My girls are generally seen by outsiders as quiet, shy girls. They
adore animals and we have many pets. They are gentle with all
animals and children. They do like getting a rise or a laugh out
of people they are comfortable with and that is part of the reason
they do what they do. (Can we shock Auntie? Or can we make Suzie
laugh?) I talk to my girls about EVERYTHING and we don't have any
hard fast rules at our house. They do respect what I say and if I
sat them down and told them that it really made my friend
uncomfortable, I am sure they would try and stop doing it. (even
though they might not understand her concern) BUT, they really have
a lot of fun doing these things and I hate to be a the poop in the
punch bowl when they are just having fun and it really isn't hurting
anyone. At the same time, I adore my friend and I want her to be
comfortable hanging out with us. So, do you have any advice I can
share with my friend to help her through these feelings or do you
feel that I should talk to the girls about how it is making my
friend uncomfortable?
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
sending it again. Sorry if it comes again later. must be my server
is holding mail since I just sent an email to myself and never got
it back.)
Hi Everyone,
When my girls were really little (say 3 and 5) they brought their
dollies to the library one day and one of them spanked the doll and
told her she was bad. I almost died because back before I had
children, if I had seen that behavior, I would have assumed they
were mimicking what they had learned at home. Well, they certainly
didn't get that from me and I was horrified to think that someone
might think that. Well, now I don't worry so much about what other
people think unless it is a friend and something the girls do makes
them feel uncomfortable. That is the case concerning the following
behaviors that I would like some insight on.
My sweet little girls (ages 7 and 9) have a bit of an off sense of
humor. (ok, a lot of an off sense of humor! LOL!) For instance,
when we first got the Sims games, while playing, a Sim accidentally
caught on fire while it was cooking and it died. They thought it
was a riot that the grim reaper came and from that point on they
purposely caught their sims on fire. (made sure they had No cooking
skill points so the fires would happen.) They thought it was a riot
and anything like this just cracks them up. Of course, they shared
this information with their friend who is 9 and she thought it was
hilarious too and she started doing the same thing. I have
commented to the girls, as they burn their Sims, that "that is just
awful." (image running through my head of children growing up
lacking empathy for others and other horrible thoughts.) It does
make me feel bad that they think it's fun to torture their computer
people but I figure that is my issue so after several comments to
the effect that I thought it was awful, I stopped commenting on it
and really let it go. I know they like to get a rise out of me and
that is part of the fun of doing these things but I don't think that
is their driving force..they just truly think it is funny.
Along the same lines, they have these beanie babies that they love
and play with *every* day. (and have for three years) But they
think it is really funny to do torturous things to them. When I am
brushing their hair, if I snag a not, they punch Pellet (the
beanie) and laugh. And when they are playing with their friend
they make their Pellets do things that are against societies
expectations (like steal or kill) and then they punch them or beat
them and tell them they are bad. Both of the girls and their friend
think this is *so* funny. It does make me squirm inside sometimes
but I just bite my tongue and find something else to do other than
focus on it because they are really sweet girls and I know they
would never even cut in line, let alone hurt someone.
My friend has told me that she feels uncomfortable with this type of
play. She asked me to help her come to grips with it as she
realizes the reason she feels uncomfortable are her issues. I
really don't know what to tell her since it really makes me
uncomfortable too. My kids have re-assured me that they would never
do that to someone in real life and that Pellet isn't real and the
Sims aren't real. And they would never even do it to the stuffed
animals that they take comfort in and cuddle.
My girls are generally seen by outsiders as quiet, shy girls. They
adore animals and we have many pets. They are gentle with all
animals and children. They do like getting a rise or a laugh out
of people they are comfortable with and that is part of the reason
they do what they do. (Can we shock Auntie? Or can we make Suzie
laugh?) I talk to my girls about EVERYTHING and we don't have any
hard fast rules at our house. They do respect what I say and if I
sat them down and told them that it really made my friend
uncomfortable, I am sure they would try and stop doing it. (even
though they might not understand her concern) BUT, they really have
a lot of fun doing these things and I hate to be a the poop in the
punch bowl when they are just having fun and it really isn't hurting
anyone. At the same time, I adore my friend and I want her to be
comfortable hanging out with us. So, do you have any advice I can
share with my friend to help her through these feelings or do you
feel that I should talk to the girls about how it is making my
friend uncomfortable?
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/23/04 10:22:51 AM, game-enthusiast@... writes:
<< They do respect what I say and if I
sat them down and told them that it really made my friend
uncomfortable, I am sure they would try and stop doing it. >>
That sounds worth doing.
And maybe forward the e-mail you just sent us to your friend, and let her
know you're concerned on one level, and not ultimately worried on another.
Holly has had fun playing Harvest Moon "wrong" sometimes. She plays "right"
long enough that one of the girls wants to marry her character (the main
character is a young male) and then starts flirting with all the other girls to see
what happens. She leaves her animals out in the rain to see what will
happen. She learned that watering the chicken made it invisible. She took a
chicken and left it in town.
Me, I felt bad knowing this. It was as though Holly were being cruel. It's
a GAME! Not even at the reality level of stuffed animals. But I was the one
with the problem, not Holly.
There wasn't any cruelty involved. She was curious about whether the
programmers had considered what would happen if you did unexpected things.
If you leave a chicken at church, it doesn't get hungry. <g> That might be
useful to people playing SNES Harvest Moon who have run out of feed or money.
No real chickens are harmed in the playing of Harvest Moon.
Last night she was playing Zombies Ate My Neighbors. It didn't make her want
to go out with real power tools and fight real zombies.
Sandra
<< They do respect what I say and if I
sat them down and told them that it really made my friend
uncomfortable, I am sure they would try and stop doing it. >>
That sounds worth doing.
And maybe forward the e-mail you just sent us to your friend, and let her
know you're concerned on one level, and not ultimately worried on another.
Holly has had fun playing Harvest Moon "wrong" sometimes. She plays "right"
long enough that one of the girls wants to marry her character (the main
character is a young male) and then starts flirting with all the other girls to see
what happens. She leaves her animals out in the rain to see what will
happen. She learned that watering the chicken made it invisible. She took a
chicken and left it in town.
Me, I felt bad knowing this. It was as though Holly were being cruel. It's
a GAME! Not even at the reality level of stuffed animals. But I was the one
with the problem, not Holly.
There wasn't any cruelty involved. She was curious about whether the
programmers had considered what would happen if you did unexpected things.
If you leave a chicken at church, it doesn't get hungry. <g> That might be
useful to people playing SNES Harvest Moon who have run out of feed or money.
No real chickens are harmed in the playing of Harvest Moon.
Last night she was playing Zombies Ate My Neighbors. It didn't make her want
to go out with real power tools and fight real zombies.
Sandra
Angela
I wrote:<< They do respect what I say and if I
sat them down and told them that it really made my friend
uncomfortable, I am sure they would try and stop doing it. >>
Sandra replied:
That sounds worth doing.
And maybe forward the e-mail you just sent us to your friend, and let her
know you're concerned on one level, and not ultimately worried on another.
Well, that was easier than I would have guessed. I just spoke with the
girls and told them that their talk was making my friend uncomfortable. I
asked them if they would be willing to try to stop talking like that when we
are with our friends. They both seemed very understanding and said they
would try to stop talking/behaving like that. They looked very concerned.
Sandra wrote:
There wasn't any cruelty involved. She was curious about whether the
programmers had considered what would happen if you did unexpected things.
From the time the girls were little, they have always found *creative* ways
to play games. They have done things with their Sims (and other games) that
I just never would have thought of. The programmers obviously thought of it
because there was always a response to their action. They have also starved
the fish in Sims and things like that. They just want to see what happens
really and wouldn't starve their own fish on purpose.
Harvest Moon sounds like an game that would interest my girls. I am sure
they'd love to leave a chicken in town to starve. ;0)
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sat them down and told them that it really made my friend
uncomfortable, I am sure they would try and stop doing it. >>
Sandra replied:
That sounds worth doing.
And maybe forward the e-mail you just sent us to your friend, and let her
know you're concerned on one level, and not ultimately worried on another.
Well, that was easier than I would have guessed. I just spoke with the
girls and told them that their talk was making my friend uncomfortable. I
asked them if they would be willing to try to stop talking like that when we
are with our friends. They both seemed very understanding and said they
would try to stop talking/behaving like that. They looked very concerned.
Sandra wrote:
There wasn't any cruelty involved. She was curious about whether the
programmers had considered what would happen if you did unexpected things.
From the time the girls were little, they have always found *creative* ways
to play games. They have done things with their Sims (and other games) that
I just never would have thought of. The programmers obviously thought of it
because there was always a response to their action. They have also starved
the fish in Sims and things like that. They just want to see what happens
really and wouldn't starve their own fish on purpose.
Harvest Moon sounds like an game that would interest my girls. I am sure
they'd love to leave a chicken in town to starve. ;0)
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pam sorooshian
On Mar 23, 2004, at 4:03 PM, Angela wrote:
and admitted they have often created sims JUST to be able to kill them
off in creative ways <G>. Rox says it started because you want to get
rid of the first sims you get - they are boring - but you don't want to
lose all their furniture and everything if you delete them. So - if
they die, you keep their stuff <G>.
Then, like Holly, they want to see what the programmers have come up
with for the weirdest choices they can think of making. (And, yes, the
programmers must be even weirder, because sometimes very funny things
happen that show it had actually occurred to the programmers that
somebody might make that weird choice.)
-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
> They have done things with their Sims (and other games) thatI just read your posts to my Sims-loving children - and they laughed
> I just never would have thought of. The programmers obviously thought
> of it
> because there was always a response to their action. They have also
> starved
> the fish in Sims and things like that. They just want to see what
> happens
> really and wouldn't starve their own fish on purpose.
and admitted they have often created sims JUST to be able to kill them
off in creative ways <G>. Rox says it started because you want to get
rid of the first sims you get - they are boring - but you don't want to
lose all their furniture and everything if you delete them. So - if
they die, you keep their stuff <G>.
Then, like Holly, they want to see what the programmers have come up
with for the weirdest choices they can think of making. (And, yes, the
programmers must be even weirder, because sometimes very funny things
happen that show it had actually occurred to the programmers that
somebody might make that weird choice.)
-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
Paula Sjogerman
on 3/23/04 6:26 PM, pam sorooshian at pamsoroosh@... wrote:
that is cool.
Paula
> I just read your posts to my Sims-loving children - and they laughedMy SLC say that in some version if enough Sims die, they become ghosts. And
> and admitted they have often created sims JUST to be able to kill them
> off in creative ways <G>. Rox says it started because you want to get
> rid of the first sims you get - they are boring - but you don't want to
> lose all their furniture and everything if you delete them. So - if
> they die, you keep their stuff <G>.
that is cool.
Paula
Angela
My kids have sold the grave stones that show up after they die. LOL! I
just never would have thought of that.
Angela
<mailto:game-enthusiast@...> game-enthusiast@...
My SLC say that in some version if enough Sims die, they become ghosts. And
that is cool.
Paula
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
just never would have thought of that.
Angela
<mailto:game-enthusiast@...> game-enthusiast@...
My SLC say that in some version if enough Sims die, they become ghosts. And
that is cool.
Paula
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Roberta Carl
Kids aren't the only ones that do strange things to
Sims.
My aunt (40+) takes her frustrations out on the Sims.
If she gets too upset, sometimes she will play the
Sims and put them in the pool then take away the
ladder -- eventually they drown. Also, she makes a
family, makes nice kids and horrible parents and then
enjoys watching them turn on each other and fight.
It sounds weird, but better than taking your
frustrations out on humans.
We also had ways of playing the same way as kids. It
was the GI Joe's, Barbies, etc that we experimented
with to feel out what happens & relationships. Kids
nowadays have the advantage of technology to help them
experiment :-)
Roberta
--- pam sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
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Yahoo! Finance Tax Center - File online. File on time.
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Sims.
My aunt (40+) takes her frustrations out on the Sims.
If she gets too upset, sometimes she will play the
Sims and put them in the pool then take away the
ladder -- eventually they drown. Also, she makes a
family, makes nice kids and horrible parents and then
enjoys watching them turn on each other and fight.
It sounds weird, but better than taking your
frustrations out on humans.
We also had ways of playing the same way as kids. It
was the GI Joe's, Barbies, etc that we experimented
with to feel out what happens & relationships. Kids
nowadays have the advantage of technology to help them
experiment :-)
Roberta
--- pam sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
>__________________________________
> On Mar 23, 2004, at 4:03 PM, Angela wrote:
>
> > They have done things with their Sims (and other
> games) that
> > I just never would have thought of. The
> programmers obviously thought
> > of it
> > because there was always a response to their
> action. They have also
> > starved
> > the fish in Sims and things like that. They just
> want to see what
> > happens
> > really and wouldn't starve their own fish on
> purpose.
>
> I just read your posts to my Sims-loving children -
> and they laughed
> and admitted they have often created sims JUST to be
> able to kill them
> off in creative ways <G>. Rox says it started
> because you want to get
> rid of the first sims you get - they are boring -
> but you don't want to
> lose all their furniture and everything if you
> delete them. So - if
> they die, you keep their stuff <G>.
>
> Then, like Holly, they want to see what the
> programmers have come up
> with for the weirdest choices they can think of
> making. (And, yes, the
> programmers must be even weirder, because sometimes
> very funny things
> happen that show it had actually occurred to the
> programmers that
> somebody might make that weird choice.)
>
>
> -pam
> National Home Education Network
> <www.NHEN.org>
> Serving the entire homeschooling community since
> 1999
> through information, networking and public
> relations.
>
>
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Finance Tax Center - File online. File on time.
http://taxes.yahoo.com/filing.html
Angela
I was trying to think of ways that I might have played as a kid that might
have been similar and the only thing that I could think of was that we used
to chase the neighborhood boys around trying to beat them with sticks or
boards...even boards with nails in them. LOL! It wasn't often that we
actually caught them and I can't even remember why we were chasing them.
(Probably just because they were boys.)
I also used to tie my beloved Reddy Bear (he was a red bear) on a rope by
his lovely neck and throw him into the lake so he could go swimming. (I
wasn't really trying to drown him though.) I remember once it was a really
cold blustery day and I was doing this and the rope came untied. He began
to float away and I asked my mother to save him. She said no and I valiantly
jumped into the cold lake in all my clothes to save him. I really loved
that bear even though I was hanging him by the neck and throwing him into
the lake.
Back to Sims...My kids have the cheats to Sims and after they put a Sim in
the shower, they thought to move the shower because the Sim is only fuzzied
out when he is getting in the shower and not when he is in the Shower. LOL!
They just wanted to see what a Sim looked like naked. Who of thunk??? It
would have never crossed my mind.
Thanks for all the comments everyone. I feel better about the fact that
they do these things and I feel better knowing they will try not to while
visiting with our friends.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
Roberta wrote:
We also had ways of playing the same way as kids. It
was the GI Joe's, Barbies, etc that we experimented
with to feel out what happens & relationships. Kids
nowadays have the advantage of technology to help them
experiment :-)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
have been similar and the only thing that I could think of was that we used
to chase the neighborhood boys around trying to beat them with sticks or
boards...even boards with nails in them. LOL! It wasn't often that we
actually caught them and I can't even remember why we were chasing them.
(Probably just because they were boys.)
I also used to tie my beloved Reddy Bear (he was a red bear) on a rope by
his lovely neck and throw him into the lake so he could go swimming. (I
wasn't really trying to drown him though.) I remember once it was a really
cold blustery day and I was doing this and the rope came untied. He began
to float away and I asked my mother to save him. She said no and I valiantly
jumped into the cold lake in all my clothes to save him. I really loved
that bear even though I was hanging him by the neck and throwing him into
the lake.
Back to Sims...My kids have the cheats to Sims and after they put a Sim in
the shower, they thought to move the shower because the Sim is only fuzzied
out when he is getting in the shower and not when he is in the Shower. LOL!
They just wanted to see what a Sim looked like naked. Who of thunk??? It
would have never crossed my mind.
Thanks for all the comments everyone. I feel better about the fact that
they do these things and I feel better knowing they will try not to while
visiting with our friends.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
Roberta wrote:
We also had ways of playing the same way as kids. It
was the GI Joe's, Barbies, etc that we experimented
with to feel out what happens & relationships. Kids
nowadays have the advantage of technology to help them
experiment :-)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
arcarpenter2003
--- In [email protected], "autonomousangela"
<game-enthusiast@a...> wrote:
Maybe you could explain to your friend that this is the girls' way of
laughing in the face of death. Isn't that why vulgar humor and
morbid jokes work? Faced with our own frailty, they allow us to laugh
anyway.
Paramedics save lives everyday. But if you've ever heard them talk
shop and crack jokes, you might think they're the most uncaring
horrible people you've ever met, instead of normal, nice people who
are coping with what they see every day.
Peace,
Amy
<game-enthusiast@a...> wrote:
> when we first got the Sims games, while playing, a Sim accidentallycooking
> caught on fire while it was cooking and it died. They thought it
> was a riot that the grim reaper came and from that point on they
> purposely caught their sims on fire. (made sure they had No
> skill points so the fires would happen.) They thought it was ariot
Maybe you could explain to your friend that this is the girls' way of
laughing in the face of death. Isn't that why vulgar humor and
morbid jokes work? Faced with our own frailty, they allow us to laugh
anyway.
Paramedics save lives everyday. But if you've ever heard them talk
shop and crack jokes, you might think they're the most uncaring
horrible people you've ever met, instead of normal, nice people who
are coping with what they see every day.
Peace,
Amy
Have a Nice Day!
Paramedics save lives everyday. But if you've ever heard them talk
shop and crack jokes, you might think they're the most uncaring
horrible people you've ever met, instead of normal, nice people who
are coping with what they see every day.
***************************
Oh that is the absolute truth!!!! I used to do prehospital ambulance work. I also worked in the ER and I currently work in a Trauma ICU.
We wouldn't be able to do what we do without that sick sense of humor we have.
Its not meant to be insensitive. Its meant to be an experience shared among those who live it with us. Sort of like war buddies.
Kristen
shop and crack jokes, you might think they're the most uncaring
horrible people you've ever met, instead of normal, nice people who
are coping with what they see every day.
***************************
Oh that is the absolute truth!!!! I used to do prehospital ambulance work. I also worked in the ER and I currently work in a Trauma ICU.
We wouldn't be able to do what we do without that sick sense of humor we have.
Its not meant to be insensitive. Its meant to be an experience shared among those who live it with us. Sort of like war buddies.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: arcarpenter2003
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, March 26, 2004 1:31 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: Fun In Violence
--- In [email protected], "autonomousangela"
<game-enthusiast@a...> wrote:
> when we first got the Sims games, while playing, a Sim accidentally
> caught on fire while it was cooking and it died. They thought it
> was a riot that the grim reaper came and from that point on they
> purposely caught their sims on fire. (made sure they had No
cooking
> skill points so the fires would happen.) They thought it was a
riot
Maybe you could explain to your friend that this is the girls' way of
laughing in the face of death. Isn't that why vulgar humor and
morbid jokes work? Faced with our own frailty, they allow us to laugh
anyway.
Paramedics save lives everyday. But if you've ever heard them talk
shop and crack jokes, you might think they're the most uncaring
horrible people you've ever met, instead of normal, nice people who
are coping with what they see every day.
Peace,
Amy
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