taurimom

My name is Laura! My family & I live in Central FL.

I'll apologize now because I always get long winded… :-)

I started homeschooling my son about 2 years ago after having the
local school accuse me of not being a good parent because I would
not increase the meds he was taking for ADHD. (Horrible, horrible
experience where I was ganged up on by about 7 different people
claiming to know what was best for my son… many had never even MET
him!)

It was the absolute BEST decision we had ever made. He was happier,
we were happier and he was able to be a KID and play instead of
always in trouble or detention or me having to pick him up from
school. <shudder> School was miserable!

Since we've been home, his meds have been decreased. (Ok, after
reading this list for quite some time… I KNOW there are those of you
that don't agree with medication etc. but this is my story so,
nah!!) HAHAHA Sorry, not my intention to offend… just a little bit
of a weird sense of humor, I guess! But when we tried the medication
after a year of me refusing and trying EVERYTHING as an alternative,
the difference was literally night and day! Soon after, when my son
openly told me that the meds "help make his brain stop spinning" I
knew I made the right choice and kicked myself for not doing it
sooner. I still hate the meds and am happy to announce that my son
told me that he wants to have a few `test' days to see if he can get
himself off the med.

Back to school… the public school REALLY damaged my son! My whole
family has loud, opinionated, exuberant, silly personalities. My son
used to be the same way! They crushed his spirit! It's taken two
years to get it back! I joke about how GREAT it is that he argues
with us now! (Ok, not argue-argue but will stand up for himself!)

When we first took my son out of school, my daughter was in
preschool because all her friends were going and she BEGGED to go!
HAHAHA So, that gave my son and I the chance to re-connect. Although
now, I know I could have done MUCH better!

Like many new homeschoolers, I desperately felt the need to school
at home. (Which I hated too since it is TOTALLY against my own
personality!) We tried everything! I knew about "unschooling" and
joked on our lazy days that was what we were doing that day! DUH!!!

I'd realize how wonderful those days were and we'd `unschool' for a
month! (Yeah… whatever `unschooling' for a month means!) Then I'd
get scared and we'd go RIGHT back to school at home or unit studies
(that KILLED ME!)

My son, Aryan, is now 11 and my daughter, Adryan, is now 6 and both
are home! Still trying to "do it right" I'd attempt to "school" my
son so that I could "catch him up" since he is/was still behind in
public school terms. Doing this, I felt that I was almost neglecting
my daughter even though we did tons of FUN stuff together like
snuggling up and reading and playing. (All while I yelled into the
other room for my son to get his work done!! Man! I wanna start
flaming myself the more I think of it!) But I thought, she'll have
plenty of time to get where she "NEEDS" to be in her education, I
need to work on my son! (DUH, DUH, DUH!!)

The funniest thing happened though… any time we'd get together with
family they would always comment on how smart my daughter was and
even more advanced than her same aged cousin. Ahh… she's just a
smart kid! Of course it didn't dawn on me that while I was so
busy "schooling" my son, my daughter was unschooling!

I think the "Light" finally clicked on for me a few months ago.
After a nice day of "school-at-home" struggle. My son asked (ok,
begged) if we could be done for the day! "Fine, I'm getting tired of
the fighting too!" He went his way and I went mine. An hour or so
later I was working on our taxes and starting grouching about not
having a statement that I needed to complete them. My son asked what
the statement was and I explained it to him. He left… came back an
hour or so later and told me all that he had learned about
investments and public companies and stocks and all sorts of stuff!
He had researched the encyclopedias, online, all types of places and
I wonder if I shouldn't have him doing my taxes!! HAHAHAHA

THAT WAS IT!!! Why am I abusing myself AND my kids with this school
concept! So we just quit!! I contact the ONE person in my Homeschool
group that I knew unschooled and begged to pick her brain and help
me get over my doubts! It was SO enlightening!

Now, I'm pretty sure that I'll start doubting again but I think we
have that covered now too! I opened up and discussed my insecurities
with MY CHILDREN of all people! We all crawled up on the fold out
bed that had been their "fort" for the past few weeks and I asked
them how they liked our new way of doing things. They LOVE IT!!
(DUH!) So I just told them that I would try my best not to, but if I
start to get crazy and doubt myself I need them to help reassure me.
If it means rolling their eyes at me and doing one math worksheet to
shut me up, then please help me out. My son just laughed at me and
asked if he should go do one then to just hang onto in case I needed
it! (Little smarty pants!) HAHAHAHA

My friend, Susan is still helping me! One of my main issues is
documentation so each week I email her what we've done,
I "translate" it into educationese and she `checks' my work and
offers suggestions to help me give up the teacher mode and enjoy my
kids learning and enjoying life!!

So, that's my long hello and introduction! If you made it this far,
grab some chocolate and reward yourself! HAHAHA

Thanks to everyone for their involvement on this list! I read it
religiously and am learning a lot!

OH… and before I forget, I want to say "Hi" (if she made it this
far) to Amanda. I read your post and saw that you are in the MOMS
Club! I'm an Assistant RC for the MOMS Club! I'm a bit fortunate
because I'm one of three homeschoolers in my chapter. I started a
Mom & Kid Book Club in my group. There is no required book to read
or anything just a time for us to get together. The kids discuss
whatever book they'd like and the moms discuss whatever book they'd
like. It is a bit hard because of preschool and public school but
the way I see it, while our activities are kid-friendly, the MOMS
Club is for ME. My kids are starting to learn and appreciate that
while I drive them to this place or that and this activity and that
activity for THEM, I still need my time too! And documented that
would be Interpersonal Relationships, Communication and Human
Needs! :-)

Ok, let me stop before you all fall asleep and your chocolate melts!!

Have a cool day!!
~Laura

[email protected]

-=-(All while I yelled into the

other room for my son to get his work done!! Man! I wanna start

flaming myself the more I think of it!) -=-

No, no flames. Not even self-flaming. <g>

-=-So I just told them that I would try my best not to, but if I

start to get crazy and doubt myself I need them to help reassure me.

If it means rolling their eyes at me and doing one math worksheet to

shut me up, then please help me out.-=-

Maybe you should change your rules to "just say no." If you go crazy and say
"worksheet" they should say "Mom, no; go read at unschooling.com or the list
archives."

Give your kids this website and tell them to use it on you:
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling

<< One of my main issues is

documentation so each week I email her what we've done,

I "translate" it into educationese and she `checks' my work and

offers suggestions to help me give up the teacher mode and enjoy my

kids learning and enjoying life!!>>

Well I hope you give up your "documentation issue" soon too, because you
could spend that time better for sure.

Good hello. Thanks for sharing your corner-turning (still not quite
completed, but you're getting there!).

Sandra

Elizabeth Hill

** I started homeschooling my son about 2 years ago after having the
local school accuse me of not being a good parent because I would
not increase the meds he was taking for ADHD. (Horrible, horrible
experience where I was ganged up on by about 7 different people
claiming to know what was best for my son& many had never even MET
him!)

It was the absolute BEST decision we had ever made. He was happier,
we were happier and he was able to be a KID and play instead of
always in trouble or detention or me having to pick him up from
school. <shudder> School was miserable! **

I'm so glad you were strong enough to prevail in this.

Betsy

taurimom

--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
> -=-(All while I yelled into the
>
> Maybe you should change your rules to "just say no." If you go
crazy and say
> "worksheet" they should say "Mom, no; go read at unschooling.com
or the list
> archives."
>
> Give your kids this website and tell them to use it on you:
> http://sandradodd.com/unschooling

That's a good idea! HAHAHA They see how I always read when I have
questions so they KNOW they'll get 'rid' of me that way! :-) And I
HAVE really enjoyed reading through your website!


> Well I hope you give up your "documentation issue" soon too,
because you
> could spend that time better for sure.

I do the documentation for our portfolios for the state. It's
starting to get easier for me so I'm not stressing over it as much.


> Good hello. Thanks for sharing your corner-turning (still not
quite
> completed, but you're getting there!).
>
> Sandra

Thanks everyone for the welcome!!
~Laura

[email protected]

I have been down this road with my own son, and understand the frustration.
We also tried meds for our son (now 13), and if you ask me did I see an
improvement in how he "comformed" in school and at home, then I would have to say
yes, but I knew in my heart that it wasn't the right thing to do, because
conforming meant giving up his individuality, and to me that's a crime. That is when
I went looking for alternatives, and found unschooling. I was petrified about
taking that step, but when it came down to what was best for my son ( and his
sisters), then there was no turning back. I only regret not doing it sooner,
because he loved learning and was reading and writing at the age of three
(completely self lead too). School destroyed that in all of them. It is amazing
what one year has done. They are all so happy, and have realized their own
strengths and weaknesses. They learn and do what they love, which has given them
the confidence that they had lost, and the desire to learn more. In time my
fear of bringing them home to learn has been replaced with confidence and
excitement, because we are all free from the confinements of the school system
which had put so many limits on what they were able to accomplish in their own
education, and who they were as individuals. I love that our family is so healthy
now compared to the chaos of what it was before. Torturous
mornings, and chaotic evenings fighting about grades and homework, not having
enough time to just be a family. We were literally falling apart.
I also hate the idea of putting labels on our children just because they
learn differently, and am so glad that I was strong enough to lead my children in
a different direction.
I took him off the meds and realized that the reason his "head was spinning"
was due to the stress of having to function in the school setting and the
pressures that that entailed. He has grown into a very self assured young man who
loves people, and excels at many things. He never ceases to amaze me with
his creative ideas for making money, and his talent for teaching other children.

My oldest daughter (16) was so destroyed by comments made by an art teacher
in her first year of high school, that she stopped drawing all together. This
was a girl who has been drawing since she could hold a pencil, and is very
gifted. It took me a good six months of trips to many art museums, and
reassuring her of her talent, before she picked up her pencil again. She has since
become so confident about her art, and very accomplished. She is also a very
gifted writer, which was completely overlooked in her ps language arts classes.
She is working on compiling her writing into a book. My youngest just decided
she wanted to write her own book one day, and is on her 5th chapter. It is
just so much fun watching them become the great young people that they are, and
growing together as a family.
I wish you the best in your journey, and hope that you become confident in
your abilities to do what is so healthy for your children.

Elaine



In a message dated 3/21/2004 12:13:42 PM Eastern Standard Time,
taurimom@... writes:
I started homeschooling my son about 2 years ago after having the
local school accuse me of not being a good parent because I would
not increase the meds he was taking for ADHD. (Horrible, horrible
experience where I was ganged up on by about 7 different people
claiming to know what was best for my son… many had never even MET
him!)

It was the absolute BEST decision we had ever made. He was happier,
we were happier and he was able to be a KID and play instead of
always in trouble or detention or me having to pick him up from
school. <shudder> School was miserable!

Since we've been home, his meds have been decreased. (Ok, after
reading this list for quite some time… I KNOW there are those of you
that don't agree with medication etc. but this is my story so,
nah!!) HAHAHA Sorry, not my intention to offend… just a little bit
of a weird sense of humor, I guess! But when we tried the medication
after a year of me refusing and trying EVERYTHING as an alternative,
the difference was literally night and day! Soon after, when my son
openly told me that the meds "help make his brain stop spinning" I
knew I made the right choice and kicked myself for not doing it
sooner. I still hate the meds and am happy to announce that my son
told me that he wants to have a few `test' days to see if he can get
himself off the med.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]