Very happy news!!!
Holly Selden
Yesterday, we broke our own mold. We were getting ready to go to Jacksonville to go bowling with some friends of ours. Our children have been friends since they were little. Their mother and I used to swap sitting duty so that the other could get out. With three kids, when you find that person that really "gets it" and wants to help out as much as they want to be helped...well, a great friendship has blossomed over the years. We've always found that adding her 3 to my 3 actually made things easier, as they paired off and enjoyed each other's company so much that we found ourselves saying "Don't we have kids????"
My kids have never been bowling and were excited all morning. They were up at the crack of dawn and asking all sorts of questions. My daughter, Morgan, said "Mom, I didn't finish all that work my teacher sent home. Does that mean I can't go???" She was near tears. I hugged her and said "Of course it doesn't mean that. This is a day for the family, and it wouldn't be a family outing with you missing!!!". She left the room smiling and I closed the door and looked at my husband. I said "If I convince her that WE can go to Silver Springs as a family..and that a fieldtrip with her class isn't worth what she's going through...can I please get her out of there?".
I don't know why I expected this to be a big discussion. I expected him to be unsure, or just say no, or question my abilities...or something. His response? "Sure!", with a big smile.
Morgan has always done well in school. Her teachers and other staff have always loved her. They nickname her "smiley" everywhere she goes. She's always smiling. Third grade brought about a big change. Her teacher is telling me all the time how she's "daydreaming" and just not getting her classwork done. They have this program called AR Reading wherein you read a book and take a computer test on it. You gain points depending on the level of the book. She reads like a little fiend, but never ends up with enough time in the class to take the tests. She spends 4 hours a night on math homework. It's insane.
So, we pulled her into the bedroom and I laid it out for her. I told her that Silver Springs was a place we could go on our own, and was it really worth the stress she's been feeling? She said no.
When I started this with Madison, I thought there was no way I could take on all three of my kids at once. I thought "I don't know what I'm doing...I'd mess them all up for life"...It only took a few short weeks for me to realize that it wasn't me who was in danger of screwing them up.
Morgan's a dreamer. I, too, suffered from daydreams. Oh heaven forbid a child has big hopes for what they want to be, or do, or experience in life. According to the schools, it's the biggest sin of all time.
I'm not embracing unschooling, it's embracing me. It fits our family so well. It really suits my children. You can tell just by the look on their little faces.
So we went bowling and had a great day. We had a total of 9 kids with us. They were all totally supportive of each other and I couldn't stop mentioning to my husband how proud I was. Not just of our kids, but of their friends. They had a blast. No arguments about who's turn it was, a lot of support and a lot of help to my kids who'd never been before.
That evening, we went over to Des' house for hotdogs then packed everyone up and took them to a Barracudas Hockey game. I love hockey. I've only ever been to one other game before, but I've always had a thing for the game. Miss Des bought all the kids a souvenir hockey stick and then they got them signed by the "Ice Girls" (cheerleaders).
When we got home at 11pm last night I looked at my DH and said "I know every day with them isn't going to be hockey and bowling, but whatever we do and invent, it's going to be a blast!!!"
Max, my kindergartener, has an amazing teacher. I'm going to let him finish this year out. Simply because his teacher is one of the coolest I've ever met. I love her influence on him. I also know that right now, Max needs to feel a little "independent", which doesn't happen at home. Morgan and Madison try to help him with everything. It's a great trait of theirs, but it's not so good for Max sometimes.
Holly ~ Eyes wide open
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My kids have never been bowling and were excited all morning. They were up at the crack of dawn and asking all sorts of questions. My daughter, Morgan, said "Mom, I didn't finish all that work my teacher sent home. Does that mean I can't go???" She was near tears. I hugged her and said "Of course it doesn't mean that. This is a day for the family, and it wouldn't be a family outing with you missing!!!". She left the room smiling and I closed the door and looked at my husband. I said "If I convince her that WE can go to Silver Springs as a family..and that a fieldtrip with her class isn't worth what she's going through...can I please get her out of there?".
I don't know why I expected this to be a big discussion. I expected him to be unsure, or just say no, or question my abilities...or something. His response? "Sure!", with a big smile.
Morgan has always done well in school. Her teachers and other staff have always loved her. They nickname her "smiley" everywhere she goes. She's always smiling. Third grade brought about a big change. Her teacher is telling me all the time how she's "daydreaming" and just not getting her classwork done. They have this program called AR Reading wherein you read a book and take a computer test on it. You gain points depending on the level of the book. She reads like a little fiend, but never ends up with enough time in the class to take the tests. She spends 4 hours a night on math homework. It's insane.
So, we pulled her into the bedroom and I laid it out for her. I told her that Silver Springs was a place we could go on our own, and was it really worth the stress she's been feeling? She said no.
When I started this with Madison, I thought there was no way I could take on all three of my kids at once. I thought "I don't know what I'm doing...I'd mess them all up for life"...It only took a few short weeks for me to realize that it wasn't me who was in danger of screwing them up.
Morgan's a dreamer. I, too, suffered from daydreams. Oh heaven forbid a child has big hopes for what they want to be, or do, or experience in life. According to the schools, it's the biggest sin of all time.
I'm not embracing unschooling, it's embracing me. It fits our family so well. It really suits my children. You can tell just by the look on their little faces.
So we went bowling and had a great day. We had a total of 9 kids with us. They were all totally supportive of each other and I couldn't stop mentioning to my husband how proud I was. Not just of our kids, but of their friends. They had a blast. No arguments about who's turn it was, a lot of support and a lot of help to my kids who'd never been before.
That evening, we went over to Des' house for hotdogs then packed everyone up and took them to a Barracudas Hockey game. I love hockey. I've only ever been to one other game before, but I've always had a thing for the game. Miss Des bought all the kids a souvenir hockey stick and then they got them signed by the "Ice Girls" (cheerleaders).
When we got home at 11pm last night I looked at my DH and said "I know every day with them isn't going to be hockey and bowling, but whatever we do and invent, it's going to be a blast!!!"
Max, my kindergartener, has an amazing teacher. I'm going to let him finish this year out. Simply because his teacher is one of the coolest I've ever met. I love her influence on him. I also know that right now, Max needs to feel a little "independent", which doesn't happen at home. Morgan and Madison try to help him with everything. It's a great trait of theirs, but it's not so good for Max sometimes.
Holly ~ Eyes wide open
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Holly Selden
He does enjoy it. They enjoy helping him. However, I also like the fact that he's gaining some independance right now. There were days for a while where he would say "I can't do it" to everything. Now I'm seeing more and more of an "I can do it" attitude and I'm so proud of him. He still likes the help of his big brother and sister, but he likes to help them, now, as well :)
Holly
Holly
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, February 08, 2004 2:02 PM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Very happy news!!!
In a message dated 2/8/04 11:29:46 AM, HLSelden@... writes:
<< Morgan and Madison try to help him with everything. It's a great trait of
theirs, but it's not so good for Max sometimes.
>>
Maybe, but if he enjoys the help, I wouldn't discourage them.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 2/8/04 11:29:46 AM, HLSelden@... writes:
<< Morgan and Madison try to help him with everything. It's a great trait of
theirs, but it's not so good for Max sometimes.
You wrote: <<When I started this with Madison, I thought there was no way I
could take on all three of my kids at once. >>
I think it's easier with more kids than fewer. If a child wants to ask a
question, it doesn't matter who answers, and it doesn't even matter if the person
knows the subject matter really well, if they both know they can keep asking
until they find out.
We noticed long ago that with games or toys or even songs, sharing it with
one person was one kind of experience, and with another person it could be
altogether different.
Parents only familiar with siblings who are in school forget sometimes that
without the polarizing effects of grades and ages, children with shared
experiences and interests will get along wonderfully well, and the older ones feel
the joy of helping someone younger, the younger ones feel
big/special/privileged/respected when older kids really pay attention to them, and all that.
Thanks for sharing that day and especially the moment your husband said
"Sure!"
Sandra
<< Morgan and Madison try to help him with everything. It's a great trait of
theirs, but it's not so good for Max sometimes.
>>Maybe, but if he enjoys the help, I wouldn't discourage them.
You wrote: <<When I started this with Madison, I thought there was no way I
could take on all three of my kids at once. >>
I think it's easier with more kids than fewer. If a child wants to ask a
question, it doesn't matter who answers, and it doesn't even matter if the person
knows the subject matter really well, if they both know they can keep asking
until they find out.
We noticed long ago that with games or toys or even songs, sharing it with
one person was one kind of experience, and with another person it could be
altogether different.
Parents only familiar with siblings who are in school forget sometimes that
without the polarizing effects of grades and ages, children with shared
experiences and interests will get along wonderfully well, and the older ones feel
the joy of helping someone younger, the younger ones feel
big/special/privileged/respected when older kids really pay attention to them, and all that.
Thanks for sharing that day and especially the moment your husband said
"Sure!"
Sandra