Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Good moments and how unschoolers learn (long)
Holly Selden
Wow, Amy...What a great story. It sounds familiar in several areas. Especially the cuddling.
Sadly enough, my mother in law pointed out to me that my relationship with Madison was suffering. It killed me when I realized she was right.
He is such a cool kid. They all are. I mean, they blow me away on a daily basis. However, I had become so caught up in "fitting him into the mold" that I was bordering on being angry with him for not being the "Stepford Student".
I know exactly why I'm here. It's for "Fellowship"...and as a bit of a comfort zone when I feel like I need to say "Oh please help me!!!" So far, the latter hasn't come up. All I've needed to do was to say "What a wonderful day!!!" Sometimes, a person just needs to surround themselves with other like-minded people. That's me. I just wish there were more unschoolers in my immediate area. We have one unschooler and one "eclectic" homeschooler...so I guess I'm pretty lucky to have those.
I, too, have noticed that there are a lot of people that ask the repeat questions that are available. I had a lot of the same concerns. I was worried about him playing video games all day...until I read a little more on the subject and saw the questions answered. Now I say "Let him play...he's learning". Most importantly, our relationship is blossoming and he's going to gear himself to what he needs/wants to be.
When I was growing up, I was a "daydreamer". My daughter is much the same and always getting told she just "Doesn't do her work"...well of course she doesn't...she's got big dreams. She wants to think about those dreams and figure out how to make them come true. Where is that wrong? When I grew up, it took me forever to pin down what I wanted to do with my life. I'm just getting started on it. Why? Because the system squelched my ability to discover myself.
Okay, I'll stop rambling now. What I was trying to say, in a nutshell, was that I really appreciate your story and thanks for sharing it :)
Holly
Sadly enough, my mother in law pointed out to me that my relationship with Madison was suffering. It killed me when I realized she was right.
He is such a cool kid. They all are. I mean, they blow me away on a daily basis. However, I had become so caught up in "fitting him into the mold" that I was bordering on being angry with him for not being the "Stepford Student".
I know exactly why I'm here. It's for "Fellowship"...and as a bit of a comfort zone when I feel like I need to say "Oh please help me!!!" So far, the latter hasn't come up. All I've needed to do was to say "What a wonderful day!!!" Sometimes, a person just needs to surround themselves with other like-minded people. That's me. I just wish there were more unschoolers in my immediate area. We have one unschooler and one "eclectic" homeschooler...so I guess I'm pretty lucky to have those.
I, too, have noticed that there are a lot of people that ask the repeat questions that are available. I had a lot of the same concerns. I was worried about him playing video games all day...until I read a little more on the subject and saw the questions answered. Now I say "Let him play...he's learning". Most importantly, our relationship is blossoming and he's going to gear himself to what he needs/wants to be.
When I was growing up, I was a "daydreamer". My daughter is much the same and always getting told she just "Doesn't do her work"...well of course she doesn't...she's got big dreams. She wants to think about those dreams and figure out how to make them come true. Where is that wrong? When I grew up, it took me forever to pin down what I wanted to do with my life. I'm just getting started on it. Why? Because the system squelched my ability to discover myself.
Okay, I'll stop rambling now. What I was trying to say, in a nutshell, was that I really appreciate your story and thanks for sharing it :)
Holly
----- Original Message -----
From: arcarpenter@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, February 06, 2004 11:53 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Good moments and how unschoolers learn (long)
Most of the day was just hanging out, watching TV. I was kind of tired and
lulled by the sound and the stories, and as 9:00 approached, I was reassuring
myself, "Okay, this is what today is. That's okay. Maybe it wasn't
spectacular (maybe it was for my son), but it was certainly pleasant enough."
And then Fisher (6) turns off the TV, lays down on the couch cushions (which
are on the floor because the whole living room is a pirate ship) and says,
"What am I?" He points out that his body is stiff, but not flat -- it can roll.
He's a log. Then I'm a clock; then he's a cow. We play variations on 20
questions (What letter am I? What number am I thinking of? My favorite: What
beverage am I thinking of?) while I clean the kitchen and get the baby ready
for bed, and we're both laughing and congratulating each other on our stumpers.
Just as we're on our way upstairs, he gets a bloody nose (this happens often
-- he and I are prone to them). He's old enough to apply pressure himself
now, so I hand him a tissue and continue on my way. And then he says, "You used
to sit and hold me and tell me a story." So I did, to get him to hold still
so I could get the bleeding to stop. So we sit on the couch for a glorious 15
minutes, snuggling and telling about the time that he and Yugi rescued their
friends from the Rare Hunters by winning at Duel Monsters.
When he was in school, the snuggling was getting to be almost non-existent.
I would ask for hugs, but he wasn't spontaneously giving them very often
anymore. Now he rubs my back and asks to sit on my lap (though we don't fit in the
rocking chair anymore) and sometimes just runs up with his arms wide open.
His head still smells good.
I wouldn't be this far without this list. Without this list I would have
unschooled when it came to not having a curriculum, but still tried to enforce
bedtimes and mealtimes. Without this list and the accompanying materials
(Sandra's site, etc.), I would have really worried about the TV being on all day. I
just hadn't found the material that talked about those issues until I came
here. (Not that it's not out there -- I just hadn't found it.)
Sandra said something earlier about people needing to turn to their children
for the interaction that helps them in unschooling, not always to the list.
For me it's been a combination -- the list happened to be the resource that got
me all the way to the edge of the pool, instead of milling about in the
showers, thinking I was swimming.
But I did have to jump in. Geez, it was just about the scariest thing I'd
ever done. Looking back, it felt like I didn't breathe for a week. Tonight I
could breathe -- I could smell my son's head. Mmmm.
I say that this list happened to be the resource that helped me start. I see
now that there are others, that there are, maybe, better fits for newbies.
For whatever reason, I didn't know that at the time that I joined this list.
(I got here from unschooling.com, and I had looked around there a bit, but I
didn't find many of the links and resources until later. I kept getting the
first essay, Waiting to Exhale, and not seeing a lot more. I was skimming and sc
anning, not carefully poring over everything. I missed a lot along the way,
but didn't know I was missing it -- I had been reading a lot, losing sleep over
reading so much.)
I didn't really know what was meant by a discussion list as opposed to a
support list (which is why I'm hoping that this post is okay) -- you guys tried
to tell me, but I wasn't quite getting it. I didn't realize how many members
there were, and how the moderators and long-timers were taking on
responsibility to help people's thinking about unschooling. I had been on only a few
lists before (none of them unschooling, none of them as heavily moderated) and I
really didn't get the nature of this particular beast. I saw all the
guidelines, but it didn't sink in why they were necessary.
I don't know if this helps as you're figuring out why people are asking
repeat questions -- I'm just trying to remember where I was at when I joined. I
was grabbing at any link, the first link, that came up, trying to get a handle
on this idea that wouldn't leave me alone.
I'm glad it didn't. <g>
Peace,
Amy
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Most of the day was just hanging out, watching TV. I was kind of tired and
lulled by the sound and the stories, and as 9:00 approached, I was reassuring
myself, "Okay, this is what today is. That's okay. Maybe it wasn't
spectacular (maybe it was for my son), but it was certainly pleasant enough."
And then Fisher (6) turns off the TV, lays down on the couch cushions (which
are on the floor because the whole living room is a pirate ship) and says,
"What am I?" He points out that his body is stiff, but not flat -- it can roll.
He's a log. Then I'm a clock; then he's a cow. We play variations on 20
questions (What letter am I? What number am I thinking of? My favorite: What
beverage am I thinking of?) while I clean the kitchen and get the baby ready
for bed, and we're both laughing and congratulating each other on our stumpers.
Just as we're on our way upstairs, he gets a bloody nose (this happens often
-- he and I are prone to them). He's old enough to apply pressure himself
now, so I hand him a tissue and continue on my way. And then he says, "You used
to sit and hold me and tell me a story." So I did, to get him to hold still
so I could get the bleeding to stop. So we sit on the couch for a glorious 15
minutes, snuggling and telling about the time that he and Yugi rescued their
friends from the Rare Hunters by winning at Duel Monsters.
When he was in school, the snuggling was getting to be almost non-existent.
I would ask for hugs, but he wasn't spontaneously giving them very often
anymore. Now he rubs my back and asks to sit on my lap (though we don't fit in the
rocking chair anymore) and sometimes just runs up with his arms wide open.
His head still smells good.
I wouldn't be this far without this list. Without this list I would have
unschooled when it came to not having a curriculum, but still tried to enforce
bedtimes and mealtimes. Without this list and the accompanying materials
(Sandra's site, etc.), I would have really worried about the TV being on all day. I
just hadn't found the material that talked about those issues until I came
here. (Not that it's not out there -- I just hadn't found it.)
Sandra said something earlier about people needing to turn to their children
for the interaction that helps them in unschooling, not always to the list.
For me it's been a combination -- the list happened to be the resource that got
me all the way to the edge of the pool, instead of milling about in the
showers, thinking I was swimming.
But I did have to jump in. Geez, it was just about the scariest thing I'd
ever done. Looking back, it felt like I didn't breathe for a week. Tonight I
could breathe -- I could smell my son's head. Mmmm.
I say that this list happened to be the resource that helped me start. I see
now that there are others, that there are, maybe, better fits for newbies.
For whatever reason, I didn't know that at the time that I joined this list.
(I got here from unschooling.com, and I had looked around there a bit, but I
didn't find many of the links and resources until later. I kept getting the
first essay, Waiting to Exhale, and not seeing a lot more. I was skimming and sc
anning, not carefully poring over everything. I missed a lot along the way,
but didn't know I was missing it -- I had been reading a lot, losing sleep over
reading so much.)
I didn't really know what was meant by a discussion list as opposed to a
support list (which is why I'm hoping that this post is okay) -- you guys tried
to tell me, but I wasn't quite getting it. I didn't realize how many members
there were, and how the moderators and long-timers were taking on
responsibility to help people's thinking about unschooling. I had been on only a few
lists before (none of them unschooling, none of them as heavily moderated) and I
really didn't get the nature of this particular beast. I saw all the
guidelines, but it didn't sink in why they were necessary.
I don't know if this helps as you're figuring out why people are asking
repeat questions -- I'm just trying to remember where I was at when I joined. I
was grabbing at any link, the first link, that came up, trying to get a handle
on this idea that wouldn't leave me alone.
I'm glad it didn't. <g>
Peace,
Amy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lulled by the sound and the stories, and as 9:00 approached, I was reassuring
myself, "Okay, this is what today is. That's okay. Maybe it wasn't
spectacular (maybe it was for my son), but it was certainly pleasant enough."
And then Fisher (6) turns off the TV, lays down on the couch cushions (which
are on the floor because the whole living room is a pirate ship) and says,
"What am I?" He points out that his body is stiff, but not flat -- it can roll.
He's a log. Then I'm a clock; then he's a cow. We play variations on 20
questions (What letter am I? What number am I thinking of? My favorite: What
beverage am I thinking of?) while I clean the kitchen and get the baby ready
for bed, and we're both laughing and congratulating each other on our stumpers.
Just as we're on our way upstairs, he gets a bloody nose (this happens often
-- he and I are prone to them). He's old enough to apply pressure himself
now, so I hand him a tissue and continue on my way. And then he says, "You used
to sit and hold me and tell me a story." So I did, to get him to hold still
so I could get the bleeding to stop. So we sit on the couch for a glorious 15
minutes, snuggling and telling about the time that he and Yugi rescued their
friends from the Rare Hunters by winning at Duel Monsters.
When he was in school, the snuggling was getting to be almost non-existent.
I would ask for hugs, but he wasn't spontaneously giving them very often
anymore. Now he rubs my back and asks to sit on my lap (though we don't fit in the
rocking chair anymore) and sometimes just runs up with his arms wide open.
His head still smells good.
I wouldn't be this far without this list. Without this list I would have
unschooled when it came to not having a curriculum, but still tried to enforce
bedtimes and mealtimes. Without this list and the accompanying materials
(Sandra's site, etc.), I would have really worried about the TV being on all day. I
just hadn't found the material that talked about those issues until I came
here. (Not that it's not out there -- I just hadn't found it.)
Sandra said something earlier about people needing to turn to their children
for the interaction that helps them in unschooling, not always to the list.
For me it's been a combination -- the list happened to be the resource that got
me all the way to the edge of the pool, instead of milling about in the
showers, thinking I was swimming.
But I did have to jump in. Geez, it was just about the scariest thing I'd
ever done. Looking back, it felt like I didn't breathe for a week. Tonight I
could breathe -- I could smell my son's head. Mmmm.
I say that this list happened to be the resource that helped me start. I see
now that there are others, that there are, maybe, better fits for newbies.
For whatever reason, I didn't know that at the time that I joined this list.
(I got here from unschooling.com, and I had looked around there a bit, but I
didn't find many of the links and resources until later. I kept getting the
first essay, Waiting to Exhale, and not seeing a lot more. I was skimming and sc
anning, not carefully poring over everything. I missed a lot along the way,
but didn't know I was missing it -- I had been reading a lot, losing sleep over
reading so much.)
I didn't really know what was meant by a discussion list as opposed to a
support list (which is why I'm hoping that this post is okay) -- you guys tried
to tell me, but I wasn't quite getting it. I didn't realize how many members
there were, and how the moderators and long-timers were taking on
responsibility to help people's thinking about unschooling. I had been on only a few
lists before (none of them unschooling, none of them as heavily moderated) and I
really didn't get the nature of this particular beast. I saw all the
guidelines, but it didn't sink in why they were necessary.
I don't know if this helps as you're figuring out why people are asking
repeat questions -- I'm just trying to remember where I was at when I joined. I
was grabbing at any link, the first link, that came up, trying to get a handle
on this idea that wouldn't leave me alone.
I'm glad it didn't. <g>
Peace,
Amy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
>>>>>>In a message dated 2/7/2004 12:54:16 AM Eastern Standard Time,arcarpenter@... writes:
I don't know if this helps as you're figuring out why people are asking
repeat questions -- I'm just trying to remember where I was at when I joined.
I
was grabbing at any link, the first link, that came up, trying to get a
handle
on this idea that wouldn't leave me alone.
I'm glad it didn't. <g><<<<<<
Me too. I'm glad you jumped on board. What a sweet, wonderful story. Thank
you!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pam sorooshian
So --- I think there are some good reasons why sometimes people ask
those "repeat" questions. And I'm willing to answer them over and over,
happily. When I do get tired of it, I go do other things for a while
and someone else steps in while I'm gone.
BUT I also think there are people who just like attention and asking a
LOT of questions and arguing with the answers and giving their opinions
and examples even when they aren't really relevant and especially
before they've really had that much experience unschooling --- there
are people who are using the list for satisfying other needs than
getting unschooling information and advice and help and ideas.
And THOSE are the people who are exhausting and far more likely to fry
my patience.
-pam
those "repeat" questions. And I'm willing to answer them over and over,
happily. When I do get tired of it, I go do other things for a while
and someone else steps in while I'm gone.
BUT I also think there are people who just like attention and asking a
LOT of questions and arguing with the answers and giving their opinions
and examples even when they aren't really relevant and especially
before they've really had that much experience unschooling --- there
are people who are using the list for satisfying other needs than
getting unschooling information and advice and help and ideas.
And THOSE are the people who are exhausting and far more likely to fry
my patience.
-pam