Matthew

Hello all,
My name is Matt and I have decided to start the planning and contacting
process in order to open a Sudbury School here in eastern Maine. This
school will be slightly different from the typical model in the fact that we will
attempt to house the children and also find a way in which parents could work
off a LOW tuition. We would like this school to be able to include children in
any financial bracket. Also, because of the remote location we feel as though
housing would be necessary. Eastern Maine is a BEAUTIFUL place with
endless outdoor adventures waiting to be created. We are aiming for a first
year enrollment of 6-8 children and a tuition in the sub 2000 dollar range with
the possibility of a great deal being able to be worked off.
I am writing this email to see what type of interest is out there for this amazing
experience. It is a truly once in a lifetime experience that we will go through to
get the school off the ground. Please pass this email on to anyone who you
think be interested in this method of living and learning. Also, feel free to
contact me with any questions about myself, my background, or details on the
area. Thanks for your time. mattbau43@...

Wife2Vegman

--- Matthew <MattBau43@...> wrote:
> Hello all,
> My name is Matt and I have decided to start the
> planning and contacting
> process in order to open a Sudbury School here in
> eastern Maine. This
> school will be slightly different from the typical
> model in the fact that we will
> attempt to house the children and also find a way in
> which parents could work
> off a LOW tuition.


So this is a boarding school? You're advertising a
boarding school on an unschooling list?

Am I missing something here?

I mean, I suppose a sudbury boarding school would be
better than a regular ol' boarding school, but the
best place for children is in the home with their
parents.

And wow, $2K a year would buy a lot of art supplies,
building materials, classes at the Y or whatever else
my child needs to successfully unschool. And the time
spent working to make that tuition could be used to
spend time with my children.

"what is important and valuable about the home as a
base for children's growth into the world is not that
it is a better school than the schools, but that it
isn't a school at all" -- John Holt


--Susan in VA--



__________________________________
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kayb85

> Hello all,
> My name is Matt and I have decided to start the planning and
contacting
> process in order to open a Sudbury School here in eastern Maine.
This
> school will be slightly different from the typical model in the
fact that we will
> attempt to house the children and also find a way in which parents
could work
> off a LOW tuition.

In other words, parents are going to send their children off to live
somewhere else? How sad! Please reconsider.

Unless you mean to make it a sort of intentional community where
entire families move in together.

Sheila

Matthew

I agree it would be sad, but have you ever thought about those
children who do not have families? Or disfunctional ones at that? I
supposed a refuge to that is sad also..............



--- In [email protected], "kayb85" <sheran@p...>
wrote:
>
> > Hello all,
> > My name is Matt and I have decided to start the planning and
> contacting
> > process in order to open a Sudbury School here in eastern Maine.
> This
> > school will be slightly different from the typical model in the
> fact that we will
> > attempt to house the children and also find a way in which
parents
> could work
> > off a LOW tuition.
>
> In other words, parents are going to send their children off to
live
> somewhere else? How sad! Please reconsider.
>
> Unless you mean to make it a sort of intentional community where
> entire families move in together.
>
> Sheila

melissa4123

--- In [email protected], "kayb85" <sheran@p...>
wrote:

<<In other words, parents are going to send their children off to
live somewhere else? How sad! Please reconsider.

Unless you mean to make it a sort of intentional community where
entire families move in together.

Sheila>>

This just shows how much I know (or don't). When I read the first
post, I had no idea what a Sudbury School was and just assumed that
it was a place where you would go WITH your kids! Why else would it
be posted on an unschooling list. :-) So, the thing that shocked
me was the fact that he was saying how cheap it was going to be and
then said that "tution" was 2K....didn't sound that cheap to me. I
didn't realize that it was a boarding school until I read the
responses to it.

Melissa

liza sabater

On Thursday, January 22, 2004, at 10:42 AM, melissa4123 wrote:

> "tution" was 2K....didn't sound that cheap to me

just to bring perspective into this ... a cheap pre-k in NYC is around
6K. 2k for 'schooling' tuition is a steal, but then again, too high a
price to pay for unschoolers :)


l i z a
=========================
www.culturekitchen.com



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

melissa4123

--- In [email protected], liza sabater
<listdiva@c...> wrote:

<<2k for 'schooling' tuition is a steal, but then again, too high a
price to pay for unschoolers :)
l i z a>>

My point exactly! When I thought it was something that you would go
to WITH your kids, it sounded like a high price to pay. Now that I
know it's a boarding school, 2K really isn't that expensive.
However, inexpensive or not, I have a hard time leaving my daughter
to go to dinner, forget about sending her across the country to
school!

Melssa

Marjorie Kirk

-----Original Message-----
From: liza sabater [mailto:listdiva@...]
Sent: Thursday, January 22, 2004 11:37 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: starting a sudbury school

On Thursday, January 22, 2004, at 10:42 AM, melissa4123 wrote:

> "tution" was 2K....didn't sound that cheap to me

just to bring perspective into this ... a cheap pre-k in NYC is around 6K.
2k for 'schooling' tuition is a steal, but then again, too high a price to
pay for unschoolers :)


l i z a
=========================
Even here in Ohio 2K would be cheap for a private school, although I don't
even know if there are any boarding schools around here. When my two
youngest were in pre-school, it was about $1000/year for 3 mornings a week.

Marjorie

kayb85

--- In [email protected], "Matthew"
<MattBau43@H...> wrote:
> I agree it would be sad, but have you ever thought about those
> children who do not have families? Or disfunctional ones at that? I
> supposed a refuge to that is sad also..............

Oh! I didn't know you were going to target orphans and kids from
dysfunctional families. In that case, the idea is very cool!

I was thinking that most people who are attracted to
unschooling/sudbury philosophies wouldn't be attracted to the idea of
sending their kids away. But maybe I'm wrong about that. Maybe
there are people out there who don't like spending time with their
kids a whole lot or can't get over alcoholism or whatever but still
would prefer the sudbury philosophy over public schooling.

Sheila

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/22/04 11:55:39 AM, melissa4123@... writes:

<< However, inexpensive or not, I have a hard time leaving my daughter

to go to dinner, forget about sending her across the country to

school! >>

Not everyone's across the country from there. <g>

If there was a boarding school situation like that nearer, Marty might be
interested. He has that crowded feeling of being in the middle, and he does well
out with others. (He does well here too, but he feels sometimes quite in
Kirby's shadow.)

Some people have as much urge to go travelling as others have urge to stay in
one place.

Sandra

eaglefalconlark

--- In a message dated 1/22/04 11:55:39 AM, melissa4123@y... writes:
However, inexpensive or not, I have a hard time leaving my daughter
to go to dinner, forget about sending her across the country to
school! >>

--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
> If there was a boarding school situation like that nearer, Marty
might be interested. He has that crowded feeling of being in the
middle, and he does well out with others.

I was reading somewhere recently about a young girl (14 or 15) who
went off by herself to do an apprenticeship on an organic farm. I
think that is not too young at all to do something like that (well,
maybe for schooled kids it would be.) Anyway, I am sure that I would
miss my children terribly if they decided to do something like that
at that age, and I would want to make sure that it was a reasonably
safe situation, but I can see it being a really great experience for
some kids. Not little kids though. Matthew made a good point,
though, that there are younger kids without families or in bad
family situations who would benefit from something like this. But
wouldn't that be basically a foster program then?

Linda

melissa4123

<<Not everyone's across the country from there. <g>>>

I realize that not everyone is across the country from Maine and I
have always wanted to visit that part of the country. If this is a
school that I could go with my DD (as I think someone else posted),
it just might be something that I would consider....2K or not. If I
could go with her, I just might be able to bring myself to spend the
money to have that experience. <g>

<<If there was a boarding school situation like that nearer, Marty
might be interested. He has that crowded feeling of being in the
middle, and he does well out with others. (He does well here too,
but he feels sometimes quite in Kirby's shadow.)>>

My DH and I have already made the decision that we will not have any
other children so I hope that my child will not feel that way. We
are married, however, and I realize that "accidents" happen so, you
never know.

<<Some people have as much urge to go travelling as others have urge
to stay in one place.>>

I am the original home body and so is my husband. Our idea of a
nice night is having pizza delivered and watching a nice cartoon
(Finding Nemo, maybe) with our 2.5 year old. Boy, I don't know what
I'll do it got a traveler.....adapt, I guess. :)

Melissa

Matthew

And thats exactly my point. We would like to target EVERYONE. THose with
good home life and those with bad or none. A TRUE Mixture of all the different
walks of life. What an amazing gift that would be to a child that has a terrible
home life.......


--- In [email protected], "kayb85" <sheran@p...>
wrote:
> --- In [email protected], "Matthew"
> <MattBau43@H...> wrote:
> > I agree it would be sad, but have you ever thought about those
> > children who do not have families? Or disfunctional ones at that? I
> > supposed a refuge to that is sad also..............
>
> Oh! I didn't know you were going to target orphans and kids from
> dysfunctional families. In that case, the idea is very cool!
>
> I was thinking that most people who are attracted to
> unschooling/sudbury philosophies wouldn't be attracted to the idea of
> sending their kids away. But maybe I'm wrong about that. Maybe
> there are people out there who don't like spending time with their
> kids a whole lot or can't get over alcoholism or whatever but still
> would prefer the sudbury philosophy over public schooling.
>
> Sheila

[email protected]

<< Maybe

there are people out there who don't like spending time with their

kids a whole lot or can't get over alcoholism or whatever but still

would prefer the sudbury philosophy over public schooling. >>

Can you lighten up about it, please?

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/22/2004 8:45:37 AM Pacific Standard Time,
listdiva@... writes:
just to bring perspective into this ... a cheap pre-k in NYC is around
6K. 2k for 'schooling' tuition is a steal, but then again, too high a
price to pay for unschoolers :)
Would that be per year or per month? I know for some their whole income is
2000 a month so even being able to work some off would be hard. I think it
would be nice if the school offered non boarding options also or part year. I
think some kids would be interested in staying but maybe not a full year. I know
if I had to work I would look for a school like this in my area for my
child(untill he was old enough to stay alone) (not boarding) and if I could work of
some of the tuition that would be great.

Heidi


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/22/04 2:46:44 PM, eaglefalconlark@... writes:

<< Matthew made a good point,

though, that there are younger kids without families or in bad

family situations who would benefit from something like this. But

wouldn't that be basically a foster program then?

>>

Depends who has money to do what.

Sometimes a wealthy family is happy to give their kids alternative
experiences like that.

Sandra

liza sabater

On Thursday, January 22, 2004, at 11:37 AM, liza sabater wrote:
> just to bring perspective into this ... a cheap pre-k in NYC is around
> 6K. 2k for 'schooling' tuition is a steal, but then again, too high a
> price to pay for unschoolers :)

As I hit the send button on this one, I realized that what I had said
at the end is more than trite but untrue. I do not send my kids to
school because I have no other choice here in NYC. I mean, in NY there
is no such thing as part-time schooling. I know, for a fact that my
kids would be totally kosher about going to a 'learn but not at home'
setting a few hours a day a, few days a week. As it is, I have to
schlepp them around town so they can get their people fix with other
homeschoolers. My kids are very, VERY sociable. They love to be around
people. Being at home, in a way, drives them crazy --it's a good thing
they have an awesome relationship and that they actually enjoy being
with each other. If not, it would be total hell.

So I have to amend the "too high a price for unschoolers" quip to read
"for SOME unschoolers". Because, in earnest, I have no problem at all
whatsoever leaving my kids at home with a baby-sitter so that Mark & I
can go out on those rare occasions we have the money. Leave them with a
homeschooling friend a couple of hours while I run an errand? No
problem.

I have recently written more about the lunacy of going it alone by many
parents, especially homeschooling parents. I see that here in NY and
read of it on many of these national lists. I wanted to have my kids in
the world, that's why I decided that not going to school would actually
impinge on their being in the real world --aka: their socialization--
and not enhance it. I just cannot for the life of me understand the
isolation in which people put themselves in for the sake of
homeschooling, being with the kids, having a family.

Having others help me with the kids is not a sign of weakness. It just
means that, sometimes, I need a break and they do to. We are all
refreshed and eager to be together when we have not seen each other for
a few hours. And that's why homeschooling --as in being together 24/7
forever-- sucks. We all have to be in the world, independently, one way
or another.


l i z a
=========================
www.culturekitchen.com




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robyn Coburn

<<just to bring perspective into this ... a cheap pre-k in NYC is around
6K. 2k for 'schooling' tuition is a steal, but then again, too high a
price to pay for unschoolers :)>>

<<Would that be per year or per month? I know for some their whole income
is
2000 a month>>

I read the first quote as being �too high a price� metaphorically. Didn�t a
list member fairly recently post about their family visit to a Sudbury
school near them? I found it a very interesting story.

Robyn L. Coburn


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

unschoolfun

--- In [email protected], "Robyn Coburn"
<dezigna@c...> wrote:
> <<...2k for 'schooling' tuition is a steal, ...>>


* * * If this is for a family to stay together it seems reasonable to
me, not too high, not too low... perhaps some single parent families
might benefit


> <<Would that be per year or per month? ...>>


* * * Per-month, per family? while contributing labor too?


>
> I read the first quote as being "too high a price" metaphorically.
Didn't a
> list member fairly recently post about their family visit to a
Sudbury
> school near them? I found it a very interesting story.



* * * This sounds interesting. I have not seen it. Was it posted on
this list, or a member writing elsewhere?

Thanks!

*~*~*~*~EM~*~*~*~*
~*~mom of three~*~

"Schooling as we know it, is a powerful expression
of the sickness of this society, not a cure for that
sickness...our schools are a liar's world."
John Taylor Gatto, May 15th 2003

kayb85

I just cannot for the life of me understand the
> isolation in which people put themselves in for the sake of
> homeschooling, being with the kids, having a family.
>
> Having others help me with the kids is not a sign of weakness. It
just
> means that, sometimes, I need a break and they do to. We are all
> refreshed and eager to be together when we have not seen each other
for
> a few hours. And that's why homeschooling --as in being together
24/7
> forever-- sucks. We all have to be in the world, independently, one
way
> or another.


We're fairly isolated. I'm not trying to protect them from anything
in the world and I'm not trying to be a super mom who does it all
herself. My kids (ages 10, 6, 4) just don't want to ever leave me
and get very upset at the idea. They stay with my mom maybe 3 or 4
times a year, and even then they're not happy about it. It usually
involves a few tears when we leave them with her for a day trip to
celebrate our anniversary. They're usually ok if I make a quick trip
to the store if their dad is home with them, but they freak out at
the suggestion of a babysitter or even going to grandma's or a
friend's house. Even my 10 year old doesn't like to go to friends'
houses without me. I've pretty much given up on trying to go places
without them or them going places without me.

And lately, they're not wanting to get together with friends even
with me a whole lot. They're happy going places together as a
family, like day trips to museums or libraries and stuff, but usually
they just want to stay home.


Sheila

kayb85

Didn't a
> list member fairly recently post about their family visit to a
Sudbury
> school near them? I found it a very interesting story.
>
> Robyn L. Coburn

That was me, back in November.

Sheila

kayb85

--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> << Maybe
>
> there are people out there who don't like spending time with their
>
> kids a whole lot or can't get over alcoholism or whatever but still
>
> would prefer the sudbury philosophy over public schooling. >>
>
> Can you lighten up about it, please?
>
> Sandra

I seem to have offended you and I'm not sure why. Please know that
my intent wasn't to offend anyone.

I like the concept of the Sudbury schools a lot. I personally am
attracted to the community part of the school, so much so that I
seriously considered a Sudbury school for us. What I really disliked
about the school though was that the community it created was a
community where kids couldn't freely flow back and forth between
parents and other children and adults. Parents were completely out
of the picture. For older kids that might be fine, but I think
younger kids just need their parents more than that. I think the
reason I reacted as strongly as I did to the initial post about the
boarding school was because the separation of parent and child would
be even more. The kids don't get to go home to be with their parents
at the end of the day. That kind of horrified me because I see the
parent and child separation as a flaw in the Sudbury philosophy and
with a boarding school that flaw is being intensified.

When I posted what is quoted above, I actually was lightening up
about it. It must have just seemed like I was going on about it, but
really, I was thinking, "Oh, so there are situations where this would
be a good thing".

Then, although I didn't post anything about it, I also read posts
about older kids wanting to travel and how that would be a good
opportunity for them to do that. I hadn't thought about that because
not being a parent of an older kid, I was picturing kids my kids'
ages (10 and under) being sent off to boarding school. But I do see
where that would be a cool opportunity.

So I give my apologies to Matthew and Sandra and anyone else who
thought I was being rude. I wasn't trying to be rude or anything. I
was just sharing my thoughts with you, even though some of my
thoughts might have been different from the majority of those on this
list. Hopefully in some small way it was helpful to you to hear
varied perspectives from parents who share similar educational
philosophies.

Sheila

unschoolfun

--- In [email protected], "kayb85" <sheran@p...>
wrote: <snip>
> community where kids couldn't freely flow back and forth between
> parents and other children and adults. Parents were completely out
> of the picture.

* * * It did help me to hear a real-live perspective on this
variation of the theme :-)

> I actually was lightening up
> about it. It must have just seemed like I was going on about it,
but really, I was thinking, "Oh, so there are situations where this
would be a good thing".
> <snip>

* * * If it matters, or if it helps, I myself did understand you were
thinking it through and changing your feeling a bit. That came
across the way you wrote it, at least in this department. Maybe
someone else was tired, or rushed, when s/he read it? But to
me "going on about it" would have been repeating yourself, and you
seemed to be clarifying and replying to other points. I hope this
helps.

> Hopefully in some small way it was helpful to you to hear
> varied perspectives from parents who share similar educational
> philosophies.
>
> Sheila

* * * I can only hope that it was as helpful to others as to us
because it matters and I appreciate you sharing, for we are not in a
position financially or time-wise to be travelling to check out
various places, as much fun as it would be. I have to let my fingers
do the walking!

I am not trying to undo your apology to others as that is not my
business, but I hope you continue to share and express yourself as I
have appreciated your frankness. (Is that a word??)

So, thanks

*~*~*~*~EM~*~*~*~*
~*~mom of three~*~

"Schooling as we know it, is a powerful expression
of the sickness of this society, not a cure for that
sickness...our schools are a liar's world."
John Taylor Gatto, May 15th 2003

Matthew

Sheila I didnt feel as though you were rude. It is how you feel and
thats just fine with me. The school will be set up with 4 days
of "school" and then a 3day weekend in the hope that those students
that live hours away will be able to go home for a few days every
week. THat way they get their sudbury experience then get to be with
their families which is just as important. Hope this helps any
confusion.



--- In [email protected], "kayb85" <sheran@p...>
wrote:
> --- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
> >
> > << Maybe
> >
> > there are people out there who don't like spending time with
their
> >
> > kids a whole lot or can't get over alcoholism or whatever but
still
> >
> > would prefer the sudbury philosophy over public schooling. >>
> >
> > Can you lighten up about it, please?
> >
> > Sandra
>
> I seem to have offended you and I'm not sure why. Please know that
> my intent wasn't to offend anyone.
>
> I like the concept of the Sudbury schools a lot. I personally am
> attracted to the community part of the school, so much so that I
> seriously considered a Sudbury school for us. What I really
disliked
> about the school though was that the community it created was a
> community where kids couldn't freely flow back and forth between
> parents and other children and adults. Parents were completely out
> of the picture. For older kids that might be fine, but I think
> younger kids just need their parents more than that. I think the
> reason I reacted as strongly as I did to the initial post about the
> boarding school was because the separation of parent and child
would
> be even more. The kids don't get to go home to be with their
parents
> at the end of the day. That kind of horrified me because I see the
> parent and child separation as a flaw in the Sudbury philosophy and
> with a boarding school that flaw is being intensified.
>
> When I posted what is quoted above, I actually was lightening up
> about it. It must have just seemed like I was going on about it,
but
> really, I was thinking, "Oh, so there are situations where this
would
> be a good thing".
>
> Then, although I didn't post anything about it, I also read posts
> about older kids wanting to travel and how that would be a good
> opportunity for them to do that. I hadn't thought about that
because
> not being a parent of an older kid, I was picturing kids my kids'
> ages (10 and under) being sent off to boarding school. But I do
see
> where that would be a cool opportunity.
>
> So I give my apologies to Matthew and Sandra and anyone else who
> thought I was being rude. I wasn't trying to be rude or anything.
I
> was just sharing my thoughts with you, even though some of my
> thoughts might have been different from the majority of those on
this
> list. Hopefully in some small way it was helpful to you to hear
> varied perspectives from parents who share similar educational
> philosophies.
>
> Sheila

arcarpenter2003

--- In [email protected], "kayb85" <sheran@p...>
wrote:
> They're happy going places together as a
> family, like day trips to museums or libraries and stuff, but
usually
> they just want to stay home.

This sound familiar. Since we left school a couple of months ago,
Fisher (6) would much prefer to stay home than do anything else.
Even when he's feeling a little bored and I'm helping him through
that, when I ask if he'd like to go somewhere, get a change of
scenery, he says no. Usually when he has said he would go somewhere
(stay at Grandma's, play at a friend's, come with me grocery shopping
because we're totally out of food, dude <g>), he changes his mind at
the last minute. Then I have to figure out if I need to push it or
if I can find a way to work with him. I don't know if this is just
deschooling for Fisher -- we used to do a fair amount out of the
house -- or if this is going to continue.

I bring this up because I'm wondering if those of you (like Sheila)
that have homebodies have tips that you can share for helping me deal
with it. Not change it -- I respect that this is where he wants to
be, and I'm glad of it. Just dealing with the cabin fever, esp. when
my husband is out of town (sometimes 2 weeks at a time -- the
weekends are the hardest, 'cause tho I like to be at home, by then I
want to get out). Stuff you do for you, to help you be a good mom
when you're feeling pulled by your own desire to go out and your
child's desire to stay in.

Peace,
Amy

Aimee

<< Since we left school a couple of months ago,
Fisher (6) would much prefer to stay home than do
anything else.
Even when he's feeling a little bored and I'm helping
him through
that, when I ask if he'd like to go somewhere, get a
change of
scenery, he says no. >>



he he, he's enjoying the freedom to stay home so much,
it's still better than a little boredom? Boredom, I
think, is sometimes a necessary stage. Think of it as
a restful stage between activity. It might be tough
at first not to want to help him not be bored, but I
would follow his lead on that one, for now at least.




<<Usually when he has said he would go somewhere
(stay at Grandma's, play at a friend's, come with me
grocery shopping
because we're totally out of food, dude <g>), he
changes his mind at
the last minute. Then I have to figure out if I need
to push it or
if I can find a way to work with him. I don't know if
this is just
deschooling for Fisher -- we used to do a fair amount
out of the
house -- or if this is going to continue.>>



Hmm, does he need a little more warning, or a little
description of what is going to happen, a little more
choice in the matter in the first place? For example,
if you need groceries, show him the frig and pantry
and tell him what you need, and ask him what he'd like
at the store. Reminding him that his favorites are not
"in stock", that he could pick up something new to
try, whatever works for him, might distract him from
the newness of his power to choose not to go. lol

You may want to share a bit of the decision making
process that you go thru when deciding you need food,
or when to visit grandma, not make it him choosing or
you choosing when to go. does that make sense?

If you start out on the right foot, I think that it's
much easier to "work it out with him" than you might
be used to. It takes quite a bit of practice to not
make it a power struggle from the get go. That might
be the issue here.

Like, if you need food, tell him that, instead of,
you need to go to the store with me. It doesn't sound
much different to you and I maybe, but it might sound
different to him.

Your post made me think, have you always had a
homebody, and you just didn't know it til now? lol

<<I bring this up because I'm wondering if those of
you (like Sheila)
that have homebodies have tips that you can share for
helping me deal
with it. Not change it -- I respect that this is
where he wants to
be, and I'm glad of it. Just dealing with the cabin
fever, esp. when
my husband is out of town (sometimes 2 weeks at a time
-- the
weekends are the hardest, 'cause tho I like to be at
home, by then I
want to get out). Stuff you do for you, to help you
be a good mom
when you're feeling pulled by your own desire to go
out and your
child's desire to stay in.>>



About once a week, I go out by myself. Usually it's
not much more than doing the grocery shopping and
such, but I always slip in something that I enjoy as
well. Bookstores, coffee shop, cruising the racks at
Goodwill, window shopping at the mall, spending an
hour in the craft store. If you're hubby's not home,
but you're mom's around, she could come by for an hour
or two maybe? You could get out and your son could
stay home?

Every few months, Alex is off to the inlaws
overnight, usually his cousin goes over too. Hubby
and I go out to dinner and a movie, sleep in, and pick
him up the next day.

He likes the novelty of being at Abuela's, they push
the LR couches together and she sleeps with them, she
makes pancakes at 6 am, lol, she kicks his butt at all
the bored.com games that I don't play very well, etc.


The other thing that we do is, once a month, all the
in laws, cousins, and friends get together for Game
Day. I get an entire Saturday to myself, and they go
play Halo for 8 hours, eat junk food, and just
generally geek out. lol

Like Liza said in a post not too long ago, if you need
alone time, free time, whatever, don't ignore that.
It might be tough on you right now to go from dropping
him off at school and having hours long blocks of time
to yourself, and transitioning to being a full time
caregiver. And unschooling can be intense at times.
You might not be able to respond as well to the
intensity, when it comes, if you aren't taking breaks
when you need them.

Good luck!

~Aimee

arcarpenter2003

--- In [email protected], Aimee <aimeel73@s...>
wrote:
>
>
> << Since we left school a couple of months ago,
> Fisher (6) would much prefer to stay home than do
> anything else.
>
> he he, he's enjoying the freedom to stay home so much,
> it's still better than a little boredom?

I agree, it's great. Thanks for responding. I'll just say (so
others know as they're formulating responses) that I've always been
very conscientious about giving Fisher as much advance warning and as
many options as I could -- other parents and even my in-laws have
commented that I do a great job of letting him know what's going on,
so he doesn't feel blindsided by upcoming events. I will be more
aware of my language -- "we need food" instead of "we have to go
grocery shopping."

As for giving myself a break, I've always been a "my night out"
person, going to my writing group once a week. I've learned to take
very good care of my kids' mother. <g> I may be experiencing the new
baby syndrome, along with unschooling -- Riley (7 mo.) definitely
prefers mom over others right now. I'm just at the stage where
teenage babysitters don't really cut it with the baby, and the
closest Grandma prefers to babysit at her house, not here. So I'm
interested in how people treat themselves well when it just really
won't work for them to go out.

But we are finding solutions -- when I *had* to go grocery shopping,
Fisher agreed to spend an hour at Grandma's rather than go through
the store with me. And tonight we were supposed to go to her place
for dinner -- but since I'm here, posting, you can guess what
happened. <g> Grandma was very understanding, and praised us for
listening to our child. (!) My husband went (it's his family), and I
didn't really feel like going anyway. So it worked.

The best part is, we are talking about this as a family. Fisher was
trying to get some enthusiasm up for going ("they do have good food
there . . .") but in the end just didn't want to go. He offered some
trades, was trying to hear what we wanted (to attend church some
Sundays) and negotiate with that. He was really kind, respectful,
while still maintaining his own position.

What more could I ask for? <g>

Peace,
Amy

Aimee

<<He was really kind, respectful,
while still maintaining his own position.

What more could I ask for? <g>

Peace,
Amy
>>

I couldn't say! lol

I had forgotten that you had a babe in the house.
About the teenage neighbor babysitter type deal, we
tried that for a little while, but Alex was Fisher's
age and we had no littler ones.

Grandma is a great resource, I'm glad you have one
around! I wish I had two, ( cause I'm greedy!) my
Mom's on the east coast, to my midwest. *wah* We're
going to visit for two weeks next month tho.

What do I do when I'm a little stir crazy and Alex
won't budge? hmmm

I take a bath. Play an involved computer game. Get a
craft project or two ( or three, lol) going. Making
candles, soap, crochet, sewing, etc. Read email. Cook
something new, challenging, or strange! Baking bread
is very therapeutic. Really! Cookies always work too.


Cleaning is something I do to zone out, almost
meditative, but then again, I'm strange that way. lol

I guess I have developed lots of things over the years
to keep me busy, because I have problems with
depression. This time of year I'm the most
vulnerable, so, I do go out enough to get the sun on
my face and the wind in my hair, even when it's
freezing. Just a walk around the block, sometimes.
Alex is old enough to stay home tho, now, while I'm
gone for 15 minutes, so that doesn't help you much!
But exercising inside might.


~Aimee

P.S. I'd love to hear what everybody else does when
they go a bit stir crazy, tis the season, after all.

arcarpenter2003

--- In [email protected], Aimee <aimeel73@s...>
wrote:
<<Cleaning is something I do to zone out, almost
meditative, but then again, I'm strange that way. lol>>

If I'm mindful about my attitude, it is for me, too. So you're only
as strange as me. (That's not saying much.)

<<This time of year I'm the most
vulnerable, so, I do go out enough to get the sun on
my face and the wind in my hair, even when it's
freezing. Just a walk around the block, sometimes.
Alex is old enough to stay home tho, now, while I'm
gone for 15 minutes, so that doesn't help you much!
But exercising inside might.>>

I've always walked, too, and that seems nearly impossible when
Michael travels -- and it has been *so* cold lately. I should work on
the inside exercise more -- even yoga and stretching would probably
help. I hadn't thought of doing those when I felt like going out --
I tend to do them more when I'm stressed or too busy, not when I'm
not busy enough. So thanks for the input.

Peace,
Amy

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/25/04 10:22:55 AM, aimeel73@... writes:

<< P.S. I'd love to hear what everybody else does when
they go a bit stir crazy, tis the season, after all. >>

Holly and I went to Target last night. Took our time. Mostly socks and
underwear, one toy she knew she wanted before she got there, a pair of new
kid-Fiskars, a box of cereal on sale. Leisurely, warm, safe, not too far from home.

I got on-sale $5 house shoes for my husband. Big yet cheap thrills!

Sandra