Worry about pessimism?
Kelly
I have learned so much from this list! It really challenges me and
makes me think and I could use some input here!
I have concerns about my 2nd child. He will be 10 years old in May
and he has autism. I've been unschooling him since July. Before
this, we were doing 'school at home', albeit even then in a relaxed
fashion. When we had Jonathan diagnosed, they tested his IQ at 88
and he's been consistently at a 1st/2nd grade level since around the
age of 7.
Since we've been unschooling, his attitude has improved tenfold. He
no longer has emotional meltdowns and seems SOOO much happier!! I
could tell that I had been pressuring him to 'catch up' and that
this was doing more harm than good. Hence the decision to just 'let
it go'.
He is very artistic and loves to draw. He loves to play board
games, so I have no real concerns about his math skills, as I can
see that coming on its own, just through curiosity and play.
My concern with him is in the area of reading and pessimism.
Before, when I was doing 'school at home', we worked through a
phonics curriculum, and he did well with the decoding thing, but he
still does not read.
He has the attitude of 'I can't read.' and 'I don't know how to
read.' Even though, from last year, when we were doing school at
home, I know he *can* read.
For instance, today he brought a popsicle stick to me with a joke on
it and said, "I can't read this." The words were all simple, save
for one word and that was 'digital'. So I said, "Is it just this
word here? That word is 'digital'" And then, with prompting on my
part, he read the rest of the joke with ease.
But his initial attitude was "I can't." Is there any way that I can
help him with this attitude? In other words, if he has the attitude
of "I can't read," will that ever change on its own? Or has the
proverbial damage already been done? Will he ever become a reader
if he thinks he is not, or can't be, or, maybe even never will be
able to become a reader?
And is it better for me to encourage him to sound words out and,
therefore, figure it out? Or is it better for me to read it for him
and ignore the 'pessimistic', "I can't" attitude?
Btw...he doesn't like to be read to. He never has. He has auditory
sensitivity issues and I really think that being read to was
almost 'painful' for him in a way, as he is easily overwhelmed by
auditory stimuli.
Any and all advice would be most welcome!!! And if there is anyone
on this list unschooling a special needs child, I would LOVE to hear
from you!! I have yet to meet anyone, either in 'real life' or
online, who is unschooling an autistic child, or any child on
the 'autism spectrum'.
Thanks!
Kelly
"One day you'll wake up and realize you wasted $150,000 on an
education you coulda got for $1.50 in late fees at the public
library." - Good Will Hunting
makes me think and I could use some input here!
I have concerns about my 2nd child. He will be 10 years old in May
and he has autism. I've been unschooling him since July. Before
this, we were doing 'school at home', albeit even then in a relaxed
fashion. When we had Jonathan diagnosed, they tested his IQ at 88
and he's been consistently at a 1st/2nd grade level since around the
age of 7.
Since we've been unschooling, his attitude has improved tenfold. He
no longer has emotional meltdowns and seems SOOO much happier!! I
could tell that I had been pressuring him to 'catch up' and that
this was doing more harm than good. Hence the decision to just 'let
it go'.
He is very artistic and loves to draw. He loves to play board
games, so I have no real concerns about his math skills, as I can
see that coming on its own, just through curiosity and play.
My concern with him is in the area of reading and pessimism.
Before, when I was doing 'school at home', we worked through a
phonics curriculum, and he did well with the decoding thing, but he
still does not read.
He has the attitude of 'I can't read.' and 'I don't know how to
read.' Even though, from last year, when we were doing school at
home, I know he *can* read.
For instance, today he brought a popsicle stick to me with a joke on
it and said, "I can't read this." The words were all simple, save
for one word and that was 'digital'. So I said, "Is it just this
word here? That word is 'digital'" And then, with prompting on my
part, he read the rest of the joke with ease.
But his initial attitude was "I can't." Is there any way that I can
help him with this attitude? In other words, if he has the attitude
of "I can't read," will that ever change on its own? Or has the
proverbial damage already been done? Will he ever become a reader
if he thinks he is not, or can't be, or, maybe even never will be
able to become a reader?
And is it better for me to encourage him to sound words out and,
therefore, figure it out? Or is it better for me to read it for him
and ignore the 'pessimistic', "I can't" attitude?
Btw...he doesn't like to be read to. He never has. He has auditory
sensitivity issues and I really think that being read to was
almost 'painful' for him in a way, as he is easily overwhelmed by
auditory stimuli.
Any and all advice would be most welcome!!! And if there is anyone
on this list unschooling a special needs child, I would LOVE to hear
from you!! I have yet to meet anyone, either in 'real life' or
online, who is unschooling an autistic child, or any child on
the 'autism spectrum'.
Thanks!
Kelly
"One day you'll wake up and realize you wasted $150,000 on an
education you coulda got for $1.50 in late fees at the public
library." - Good Will Hunting
Deborah Lewis
***Will he ever become a reader if he thinks he is not, or can't be, or,
maybe even never will be
able to become a reader?***
Yes. He'll see words everywhere and he'll begin recognizing lots of them
and he'll eventually think differently about himself.
***And is it better for me to encourage him to sound words out and,
therefore, figure it out? ***
No, that's discouraging if the words are already giving him trouble.
When he comes to you for help, tell him the word.
***Or is it better for me to read it for him and ignore the
'pessimistic', "I can't" attitude?***
Yes, read as much as you can and he enjoys. If he says, "I can't read"
you can say "someday you will" and leave it at that.
***Btw...he doesn't like to be read to. He never has. He has auditory
sensitivity issues and I really think that being read to was
almost 'painful' for him in a way, as he is easily overwhelmed by
auditory stimuli.***
My young nephew is like this and his mom reads to him while he sits under
a big silk scarf. He touches it and pulls it over himself and wraps up
in it while she reads softly.
He likes to put his hands in warm soapy water and play while she reads to
him. Something about the physical contact of something pleasant while
hearing someone reads appeals to him. She reads to him while he's in the
bathtub.
She reads while the fan is on.
Deb L
maybe even never will be
able to become a reader?***
Yes. He'll see words everywhere and he'll begin recognizing lots of them
and he'll eventually think differently about himself.
***And is it better for me to encourage him to sound words out and,
therefore, figure it out? ***
No, that's discouraging if the words are already giving him trouble.
When he comes to you for help, tell him the word.
***Or is it better for me to read it for him and ignore the
'pessimistic', "I can't" attitude?***
Yes, read as much as you can and he enjoys. If he says, "I can't read"
you can say "someday you will" and leave it at that.
***Btw...he doesn't like to be read to. He never has. He has auditory
sensitivity issues and I really think that being read to was
almost 'painful' for him in a way, as he is easily overwhelmed by
auditory stimuli.***
My young nephew is like this and his mom reads to him while he sits under
a big silk scarf. He touches it and pulls it over himself and wraps up
in it while she reads softly.
He likes to put his hands in warm soapy water and play while she reads to
him. Something about the physical contact of something pleasant while
hearing someone reads appeals to him. She reads to him while he's in the
bathtub.
She reads while the fan is on.
Deb L