[email protected]

In a message dated 1/11/2004 4:29:47 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
Not parenting at all would have been even tidier though -- did you
think of that before having children?

I ask sincerely, because I actually DID think of that, and was an
avowed non-parent all through my 20s for such reasons.

There was a book out then called The Baby Trap, by Ellen Peck. It's
both embarassing and amusing to me now to recall how much that book
influenced
me at the time. The book said I deserved a lifestyle that wasn't "childless"
but child-FREE, and that sounded pretty good to me. I had a career and money,
my
own place, my own car, and complete control over how their daily use and
maintenance.

It's an acceptable and even cheerful kind of compromise for me now,
but it wouldn't have been for that woman I used to be with my sporty little
car
in the 70s. That woman would read this and think I was the one who had gone
insane. <g> JJ
***************************
Wouldn't it be great, though, if people REALLY spent time deciding whether
they REALLY wanted kids. Most people don't. Some people don't to tragic results.
The idea is that people should do what makes them happy. For some, raising
children makes them happy and fulfilled. Other people have demanding work that
does that, or want to play. It doesn't make them bad people to decide that
that's what they want. (I'm not implying that you meant that.)

For me, it wasn't an issue of giving up little sports cars and going out to
clubs and things. We were working in a day care center that we loved and
enjoying playing with kids all day anyway. We went home and sat around the living
room. We figured...hey...our lives are already domestic and boring...might as
well have a kid. LOL

Kathryn, who thinks Julian worked out quite well


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