bad day part two
Elizabeth Roberts
So neighbor just wants to complain about the problems SHE'S having (her child missed the bus by the way, after all that..and after all the fuss about her daughter needing to get to school she didn't call me to ask if I'd take her)....
I'm sitting here right this minute (having cleaned up the living room, let Sarah go over neighbor's house to play with her child, sang Twinkle Star with Megan twice, and read Logan a book) still somewhat frustrated....
Neighbor MUST move by April 1st, her landlord has sold the house. YAY! We're even giving her our old car if she gets it on the road so that she's not dependent on us for rides. I'm mad at myself for letting myself get into this situation with her in the first place but by the time we'd realized just what was happening it was too late, you know?
Did I mention she called my children "undisciplined brats" one day as I was giving her a ride somewhere?! Logan had poured out his drink into a cup holder that's built into the van's interior wall. I didn't do anything but toss him back some napkins and ask Sarah to help him sop it up. Kids make messes, oh well. She pipes up and says "See that's why I won't watch your kids. They're undisciplined brats. My kid would never do that! You gotta be strict with them, let them know who's boss." I was like "What do you want me to do, pull over and beat the crap out of him? That won't solve anything!"
In many ways, since November, our lives have gotten better. Life is becoming more like I want it to be.
But still..there are days..like today when it just seems like I'm the worst parent in the world. My kids are being normal two and three year olds, I'm sick..Sarah's cranky because she wants to play on the computer and I'm needing her help to clean up for the social worker's visit (who like I said was half an hour early and i'm still in my PJs because I spent the morning cleaning)...then the school calls because Sarah's not been in for her IEP since early November (because neither she nor I give a care to be there)..I'm still trying to work out private speech therapy so that we can drop the IEP completely...
But I'm feeling so incompetent right now despite having a clean house, happy children who are dressed and fed...because darned if I can take two minutes to myself to potty without everything falling apart and everyone crying their eyes out, making a huge mess, and the phone ringing!!!!
It's a good thing Paul will be home in the morning..I need a break!
Sorry for the rant...if anyone has any suggestions though for getting this person out of my life or for getting my preschooler and toddler to leave me alone long enough to potty without going insane I'd appreciate it!! Actually what i really need is someone to tell me I'm not a desperate failure as a mom.
MamaBeth
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I'm sitting here right this minute (having cleaned up the living room, let Sarah go over neighbor's house to play with her child, sang Twinkle Star with Megan twice, and read Logan a book) still somewhat frustrated....
Neighbor MUST move by April 1st, her landlord has sold the house. YAY! We're even giving her our old car if she gets it on the road so that she's not dependent on us for rides. I'm mad at myself for letting myself get into this situation with her in the first place but by the time we'd realized just what was happening it was too late, you know?
Did I mention she called my children "undisciplined brats" one day as I was giving her a ride somewhere?! Logan had poured out his drink into a cup holder that's built into the van's interior wall. I didn't do anything but toss him back some napkins and ask Sarah to help him sop it up. Kids make messes, oh well. She pipes up and says "See that's why I won't watch your kids. They're undisciplined brats. My kid would never do that! You gotta be strict with them, let them know who's boss." I was like "What do you want me to do, pull over and beat the crap out of him? That won't solve anything!"
In many ways, since November, our lives have gotten better. Life is becoming more like I want it to be.
But still..there are days..like today when it just seems like I'm the worst parent in the world. My kids are being normal two and three year olds, I'm sick..Sarah's cranky because she wants to play on the computer and I'm needing her help to clean up for the social worker's visit (who like I said was half an hour early and i'm still in my PJs because I spent the morning cleaning)...then the school calls because Sarah's not been in for her IEP since early November (because neither she nor I give a care to be there)..I'm still trying to work out private speech therapy so that we can drop the IEP completely...
But I'm feeling so incompetent right now despite having a clean house, happy children who are dressed and fed...because darned if I can take two minutes to myself to potty without everything falling apart and everyone crying their eyes out, making a huge mess, and the phone ringing!!!!
It's a good thing Paul will be home in the morning..I need a break!
Sorry for the rant...if anyone has any suggestions though for getting this person out of my life or for getting my preschooler and toddler to leave me alone long enough to potty without going insane I'd appreciate it!! Actually what i really need is someone to tell me I'm not a desperate failure as a mom.
MamaBeth
Why not?!
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Michelle
You are not a desperate failure as a mom!!!! My husband is away also, I have a hard time going it alone, with only one child and no neighbor beating me up emotionally. I give so much credit to all you mothers out there with more than one child!! To be able to deal with them going in all different directions in a wonderful ability, even if you have not showered!!
Here's hoping your day gets better!
Michelle
It's a good thing Paul will be home in the morning..I need a break!
Sorry for the rant...if anyone has any suggestions though for getting this person out of my life or for getting my preschooler and toddler to leave me alone long enough to potty without going insane I'd appreciate it!! Actually what i really need is someone to tell me I'm not a desperate failure as a mom.
MamaBeth
Why not?!
---------------------------------
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Here's hoping your day gets better!
Michelle
It's a good thing Paul will be home in the morning..I need a break!
Sorry for the rant...if anyone has any suggestions though for getting this person out of my life or for getting my preschooler and toddler to leave me alone long enough to potty without going insane I'd appreciate it!! Actually what i really need is someone to tell me I'm not a desperate failure as a mom.
MamaBeth
Why not?!
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Betsy
**Did I mention she called my children "undisciplined brats" one day as
I was giving her a ride somewhere?! Logan had poured out his drink into
a cup holder that's built into the van's interior wall. I didn't do
anything but toss him back some napkins and ask Sarah to help him sop it
up. Kids make messes, oh well. She pipes up and says "See that's why I
won't watch your kids. They're undisciplined brats. My kid would never
do that! You gotta be strict with them, let them know who's boss." I was
like "What do you want me to do, pull over and beat the crap out of him?
That won't solve anything!" **
I'm having a bad moment, (and it isn't unschooling), but I'd be tempted
to "ground" your neighbor and take away your generous free rides, since
that's the language she understands and since she didn't respect the
limits you set on the ride availability.
I'm a curmudgeon who understands sleep deprivation. I'd rather be
rested than be nice to someone who isn't consistently nice to me and my
kids.
**But I'm feeling so incompetent right now despite having a clean house,
happy children who are dressed and fed...because darned if I can take
two minutes to myself to potty without everything falling apart and
everyone crying their eyes out, making a huge mess, and the phone
ringing!!!!**
Well, you have to "go" when you have to go, you have to respond to your
children, and with social workers coming, you have to clean. So all I
can see here is "you don't HAVE to answer your phone", esp. if you have
an answering machine. Don't let the phone be one more shrill demand
that you have to jump up for. It's rarely someone calling to offer to
do a favor for YOU, right?
Betsy
I was giving her a ride somewhere?! Logan had poured out his drink into
a cup holder that's built into the van's interior wall. I didn't do
anything but toss him back some napkins and ask Sarah to help him sop it
up. Kids make messes, oh well. She pipes up and says "See that's why I
won't watch your kids. They're undisciplined brats. My kid would never
do that! You gotta be strict with them, let them know who's boss." I was
like "What do you want me to do, pull over and beat the crap out of him?
That won't solve anything!" **
I'm having a bad moment, (and it isn't unschooling), but I'd be tempted
to "ground" your neighbor and take away your generous free rides, since
that's the language she understands and since she didn't respect the
limits you set on the ride availability.
I'm a curmudgeon who understands sleep deprivation. I'd rather be
rested than be nice to someone who isn't consistently nice to me and my
kids.
**But I'm feeling so incompetent right now despite having a clean house,
happy children who are dressed and fed...because darned if I can take
two minutes to myself to potty without everything falling apart and
everyone crying their eyes out, making a huge mess, and the phone
ringing!!!!**
Well, you have to "go" when you have to go, you have to respond to your
children, and with social workers coming, you have to clean. So all I
can see here is "you don't HAVE to answer your phone", esp. if you have
an answering machine. Don't let the phone be one more shrill demand
that you have to jump up for. It's rarely someone calling to offer to
do a favor for YOU, right?
Betsy
gehrkes
Being the proud mother of eight, undisciplined brats...lol.. I give
you permission to tell you neighbor NO! Your obligations are to your
kids and yourself. Take good care of yourselves. Take time out..
Take a nice bath.I have not actually had a bath alone since.. MMM
1980, but nice baths with kids.. Play good music, dance around the
living room with the kids. I know we get into bad spaces where the
kids breathing to close to each other is irritating. Where meltdowns
are every few minutes.and that can be just me... Change the feeling
and set boundaries , for your bratty neighbor.
And social workers nine time out of ten will make judgements about
the attitude and feeling in your house rather than the books and
toys all being put away.
BREATH DEEPLY
kathleen
--- In [email protected], Betsy <ecsamhill@e...>
you permission to tell you neighbor NO! Your obligations are to your
kids and yourself. Take good care of yourselves. Take time out..
Take a nice bath.I have not actually had a bath alone since.. MMM
1980, but nice baths with kids.. Play good music, dance around the
living room with the kids. I know we get into bad spaces where the
kids breathing to close to each other is irritating. Where meltdowns
are every few minutes.and that can be just me... Change the feeling
and set boundaries , for your bratty neighbor.
And social workers nine time out of ten will make judgements about
the attitude and feeling in your house rather than the books and
toys all being put away.
BREATH DEEPLY
kathleen
--- In [email protected], Betsy <ecsamhill@e...>
Elizabeth Roberts
That's true Betsy..today has just shown me I really need a caller ID set up so that I can know who is calling and not answer it unless it's my husband or an expected call!
I have decided to be unavailable for awhile for "favors."
MamaBeth
Betsy <ecsamhill@...> wrote:
**Did I mention she called my children "undisciplined brats" one day as
I was giving her a ride somewhere?! Logan had poured out his drink into
a cup holder that's built into the van's interior wall. I didn't do
anything but toss him back some napkins and ask Sarah to help him sop it
up. Kids make messes, oh well. She pipes up and says "See that's why I
won't watch your kids. They're undisciplined brats. My kid would never
do that! You gotta be strict with them, let them know who's boss." I was
like "What do you want me to do, pull over and beat the crap out of him?
That won't solve anything!" **
I'm having a bad moment, (and it isn't unschooling), but I'd be tempted
to "ground" your neighbor and take away your generous free rides, since
that's the language she understands and since she didn't respect the
limits you set on the ride availability.
I'm a curmudgeon who understands sleep deprivation. I'd rather be
rested than be nice to someone who isn't consistently nice to me and my
kids.
**But I'm feeling so incompetent right now despite having a clean house,
happy children who are dressed and fed...because darned if I can take
two minutes to myself to potty without everything falling apart and
everyone crying their eyes out, making a huge mess, and the phone
ringing!!!!**
Well, you have to "go" when you have to go, you have to respond to your
children, and with social workers coming, you have to clean. So all I
can see here is "you don't HAVE to answer your phone", esp. if you have
an answering machine. Don't let the phone be one more shrill demand
that you have to jump up for. It's rarely someone calling to offer to
do a favor for YOU, right?
Betsy
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I have decided to be unavailable for awhile for "favors."
MamaBeth
Betsy <ecsamhill@...> wrote:
**Did I mention she called my children "undisciplined brats" one day as
I was giving her a ride somewhere?! Logan had poured out his drink into
a cup holder that's built into the van's interior wall. I didn't do
anything but toss him back some napkins and ask Sarah to help him sop it
up. Kids make messes, oh well. She pipes up and says "See that's why I
won't watch your kids. They're undisciplined brats. My kid would never
do that! You gotta be strict with them, let them know who's boss." I was
like "What do you want me to do, pull over and beat the crap out of him?
That won't solve anything!" **
I'm having a bad moment, (and it isn't unschooling), but I'd be tempted
to "ground" your neighbor and take away your generous free rides, since
that's the language she understands and since she didn't respect the
limits you set on the ride availability.
I'm a curmudgeon who understands sleep deprivation. I'd rather be
rested than be nice to someone who isn't consistently nice to me and my
kids.
**But I'm feeling so incompetent right now despite having a clean house,
happy children who are dressed and fed...because darned if I can take
two minutes to myself to potty without everything falling apart and
everyone crying their eyes out, making a huge mess, and the phone
ringing!!!!**
Well, you have to "go" when you have to go, you have to respond to your
children, and with social workers coming, you have to clean. So all I
can see here is "you don't HAVE to answer your phone", esp. if you have
an answering machine. Don't let the phone be one more shrill demand
that you have to jump up for. It's rarely someone calling to offer to
do a favor for YOU, right?
Betsy
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
To unsubscribe from this send an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: http://www.unschooling.com
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Krisula Moyer
>>Did I mention she called my children "undisciplined brats" one day as Iwas giving her a ride somewhere?! Logan had poured out his drink into a cup
holder that's built into the van's interior wall. I didn't do anything but
toss him back some napkins and ask Sarah to help him sop it up. Kids make
messes, oh well. She pipes up and says "See that's why I won't watch your
kids. They're undisciplined brats. My kid would never do that! You gotta be
strict with them, let them know who's boss." I was like "What do you want me
to do, pull over and beat the crap out of him? That won't solve anything!"
Sounds like *she* needs some self discipline - saying such a thing in front
of kids! When an adult is rude to my children (or at them - as your friend
was) I say something like "at our house we don't call names so it's not ok
for you to call my children that. I would say it in as pleasant, matter of
fact tone I could muster and if it happened a second time I would not have
that person around my children any more.
Your friend would have used up all her chances long ago if it were me. A
good book on this topic is Boundaries: face-to-face by Henry Cloud, John
Townsend. They do use bible references throughout (in case you'd rather
avoid ) but not in a heavy handed way (someone else's words). Very down to
earth guys.