sneakiness
writeemee
From: SandraDodd@a...
Date: Fri Dec 26, 2003 8:12 am
Subject: avoid rewarding sneakiness
In a message dated 12/26/03 1:10:16 AM, dezigna@c... writes:
"Don't let me CATCH you doing ..." statements, since it was a mixed
message
that could be taken as a challenge. >>
"I better not ever see you doing X" seems like a clear message to
me.
Yes, I dooo agree. I've caught myself many times saying that and I
would think 'that didn't come out right'.... LOL. I know I do slip
though and have said it w/o thinking about it and correcting
myself.. ugh.. I have talked to the boys. Hmm... My youngest does
NOT care for her to keep them for a long time, but Laine, (middle
child) says he DOES care. So what to do now?? I don't know WHY it
was bothering me so much! Guess I wasn't looking at things from
different view points.. BUT. now, that I've stupidly brought it up---
I have to end it also. :) So.... For all you advice givers... GIVE
AWAY! LOL!!!
~Pam
Or............. Should I just not mention it again? Hmmm.. Think I
could do that? But- if Laine DOES say something- what then??? :)
Date: Fri Dec 26, 2003 8:12 am
Subject: avoid rewarding sneakiness
In a message dated 12/26/03 1:10:16 AM, dezigna@c... writes:
"Don't let me CATCH you doing ..." statements, since it was a mixed
message
that could be taken as a challenge. >>
"I better not ever see you doing X" seems like a clear message to
me.
Yes, I dooo agree. I've caught myself many times saying that and I
would think 'that didn't come out right'.... LOL. I know I do slip
though and have said it w/o thinking about it and correcting
myself.. ugh.. I have talked to the boys. Hmm... My youngest does
NOT care for her to keep them for a long time, but Laine, (middle
child) says he DOES care. So what to do now?? I don't know WHY it
was bothering me so much! Guess I wasn't looking at things from
different view points.. BUT. now, that I've stupidly brought it up---
I have to end it also. :) So.... For all you advice givers... GIVE
AWAY! LOL!!!
~Pam
Or............. Should I just not mention it again? Hmmm.. Think I
could do that? But- if Laine DOES say something- what then??? :)
Robyn Coburn
<<says he DOES care. So what to do now?? I don't know WHY it
was bothering me so much! Guess I wasn't looking at things from
different view points.. BUT. now, that I've stupidly brought it up---
I have to end it also. :) So.... For all you advice givers... GIVE
AWAY! LOL!!!
Or............. Should I just not mention it again? Hmmm.. Think I
could do that? But- if Laine DOES say something- what then??? :)>>
Make some suggestions/do some practicing of things he could say to his
sister to make his feelings clear to her?? Do some delving to find out why
getting the toys is important to her? It seems like an odd situation anyway.
Good luck.
Robyn L. Coburn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
was bothering me so much! Guess I wasn't looking at things from
different view points.. BUT. now, that I've stupidly brought it up---
I have to end it also. :) So.... For all you advice givers... GIVE
AWAY! LOL!!!
Or............. Should I just not mention it again? Hmmm.. Think I
could do that? But- if Laine DOES say something- what then??? :)>>
Make some suggestions/do some practicing of things he could say to his
sister to make his feelings clear to her?? Do some delving to find out why
getting the toys is important to her? It seems like an odd situation anyway.
Good luck.
Robyn L. Coburn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kayb85
Do some delving to find out why
she want their toys so badly?
Some thoughts to get your thinking going. Could it be that she still
likes to play with "younger" toys and they have better "little kid"
toys than she does? I know that while my daughter is getting older
and liking "older kid" stuff, she also has days when she sits and
plays with "little kid" stuff as though she were still 5. It's sweet
actually. :) Maybe if you get to yard sales or thrift shops and let
her buy whatever she wants, she'll pick out some "baby stuff" of her
own. :)
Are most of your toys individual toys? My kids have stuff that
belongs to them individually of course. But a lot of our toys are
toys that belong to the whole family. Matt got a t-wrecks hotwheel
set for Christmas and Luke got the ice mountain hothweels set, but
the general understanding with those types of gifts is that just
because Matt got to open the t-wrecks and Luke got to open the ice
mountain doesn't mean that they're not really the whole family's
toys. So anyone can play with anything anytime and they aren't kept
in bedrooms, they're kept in the playroom.
Sheila
> getting the toys is important to her?I think that would be a good thing to try to figure out. Why does
she want their toys so badly?
Some thoughts to get your thinking going. Could it be that she still
likes to play with "younger" toys and they have better "little kid"
toys than she does? I know that while my daughter is getting older
and liking "older kid" stuff, she also has days when she sits and
plays with "little kid" stuff as though she were still 5. It's sweet
actually. :) Maybe if you get to yard sales or thrift shops and let
her buy whatever she wants, she'll pick out some "baby stuff" of her
own. :)
Are most of your toys individual toys? My kids have stuff that
belongs to them individually of course. But a lot of our toys are
toys that belong to the whole family. Matt got a t-wrecks hotwheel
set for Christmas and Luke got the ice mountain hothweels set, but
the general understanding with those types of gifts is that just
because Matt got to open the t-wrecks and Luke got to open the ice
mountain doesn't mean that they're not really the whole family's
toys. So anyone can play with anything anytime and they aren't kept
in bedrooms, they're kept in the playroom.
Sheila
J. Stauffer
Why not sit down with all three kids together and talk about what the kids
are saying to each other, what they really mean, what their expectations are
about the toys?
My 4 yo Michelle gives her toys away to her older sister Marsie who is 7.
But what she means is her sister can borrow them to play with, she doesn't
mean to keep. Marsie comes in mad as a hornet because Michelle wants her
toy back. So we talk with both girls, on going, about what exactly each one
means. We still hit bumps about it but it is getting better.
Julie S.
are saying to each other, what they really mean, what their expectations are
about the toys?
My 4 yo Michelle gives her toys away to her older sister Marsie who is 7.
But what she means is her sister can borrow them to play with, she doesn't
mean to keep. Marsie comes in mad as a hornet because Michelle wants her
toy back. So we talk with both girls, on going, about what exactly each one
means. We still hit bumps about it but it is getting better.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "writeemee" <writeemee@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, December 26, 2003 7:07 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] sneakiness
> From: SandraDodd@a...
> Date: Fri Dec 26, 2003 8:12 am
> Subject: avoid rewarding sneakiness
>
> In a message dated 12/26/03 1:10:16 AM, dezigna@c... writes:
>
> "Don't let me CATCH you doing ..." statements, since it was a mixed
> message
> that could be taken as a challenge. >>
>
> "I better not ever see you doing X" seems like a clear message to
> me.
>
> Yes, I dooo agree. I've caught myself many times saying that and I
> would think 'that didn't come out right'.... LOL. I know I do slip
> though and have said it w/o thinking about it and correcting
> myself.. ugh.. I have talked to the boys. Hmm... My youngest does
> NOT care for her to keep them for a long time, but Laine, (middle
> child) says he DOES care. So what to do now?? I don't know WHY it
> was bothering me so much! Guess I wasn't looking at things from
> different view points.. BUT. now, that I've stupidly brought it up---
> I have to end it also. :) So.... For all you advice givers... GIVE
> AWAY! LOL!!!
>
> ~Pam
>
> Or............. Should I just not mention it again? Hmmm.. Think I
> could do that? But- if Laine DOES say something- what then??? :)
>
>
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