nose piercing!!
Lee-Ann and Robert Storer
Hi all,
My, my, I've come a long way in the past year! When my dd, Emma, was 9 she wanted her ears pierced. She was desperate to have them pierced. She *needed* them pierced - puhleeze mum, I'm begging you. "No, sweetie, I want you to wait til you're thirteen, it's a 'milestone' and the piercing will *mean* something" (to me, not to her!!) She made me see sense on that one and said she was prepared to wait until she was 10 as a compromise because 10 sounds like a 'milestone' age <g> The big 'one-oh' rolled around and her ears were pierced.
No she's 11 1/2. In the past year we've talked about her getting a tattoo but were told that she has to wait til she's around 16 because the skin is going through too many changes during puberty. Sounded reasonable to me and her.
Last week she told me she wanted her nose pierced. She walked around for a couple of days with various beads blue tacked or uhued to her nose to see if she liked the look. Yesterday she had her nose pierced. She had it done with a needle in a reputable 'beauty salon'. I could tell that it hurt - a lot.
She was amazingly calm and even though she'd practiced several swear words in the car on the way into the city (for use at the appropriate time LOL), she didn't swear at all. So now she is sporting a 'sleeper' until her nose heals enough to exchange it for a tiny pin. The sleeper looked hoooooge yesterday but today it looks rather normal to us and she's very pleased with her new look.
On the way home in the car we talked about what dh and ds 14 would say. Predictions ranged from hysterical laughter from ds to a very dry "Oh Emma" from dh. We were far from correct <g>.
Dh smiled and waved from inside the bank when we arrived to pick him up from work, turned away to go to the door, did a double take, covered his mouth with both hands and yelled "Whyyyyyyyyy???" roflmao. He was thinking of the pain, not the way it looked. Emma thought his reaction was hilarious.
Ds (who had stayed home), according to Emma, looked at her, nodded and said "so you had it done then" his mouth twitched a little and Emma grinned at him, and he grinned back. Now he wants to have his ear pierced.
Megan 8, was the most distressed by the whole procedure. She wanted to come in and watch it being done. Her eyes filled with tears and she needed hugs. She said she wants her ears pierced but thinks she should wait til she's thirteen because she's worried about the pain.
If you've read this far, thankyou. I needed to tell someone who can understand and appreciate the hooooge shift in attitude that I'm undergoing. My kids are so much happier than they've ever been and so am I. Sometimes I feel like I'm only just managing to muddle through our days, but behind that feeling is the knowledge that my kids are growing in freedom, love and the firm belief that they can "do what they wanna do, be what they wanna be, yeah".
Ramble over <g>
hugs, Lee-Ann in Australia
aka Dances With Goats
aka Stands With a Mop
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My, my, I've come a long way in the past year! When my dd, Emma, was 9 she wanted her ears pierced. She was desperate to have them pierced. She *needed* them pierced - puhleeze mum, I'm begging you. "No, sweetie, I want you to wait til you're thirteen, it's a 'milestone' and the piercing will *mean* something" (to me, not to her!!) She made me see sense on that one and said she was prepared to wait until she was 10 as a compromise because 10 sounds like a 'milestone' age <g> The big 'one-oh' rolled around and her ears were pierced.
No she's 11 1/2. In the past year we've talked about her getting a tattoo but were told that she has to wait til she's around 16 because the skin is going through too many changes during puberty. Sounded reasonable to me and her.
Last week she told me she wanted her nose pierced. She walked around for a couple of days with various beads blue tacked or uhued to her nose to see if she liked the look. Yesterday she had her nose pierced. She had it done with a needle in a reputable 'beauty salon'. I could tell that it hurt - a lot.
She was amazingly calm and even though she'd practiced several swear words in the car on the way into the city (for use at the appropriate time LOL), she didn't swear at all. So now she is sporting a 'sleeper' until her nose heals enough to exchange it for a tiny pin. The sleeper looked hoooooge yesterday but today it looks rather normal to us and she's very pleased with her new look.
On the way home in the car we talked about what dh and ds 14 would say. Predictions ranged from hysterical laughter from ds to a very dry "Oh Emma" from dh. We were far from correct <g>.
Dh smiled and waved from inside the bank when we arrived to pick him up from work, turned away to go to the door, did a double take, covered his mouth with both hands and yelled "Whyyyyyyyyy???" roflmao. He was thinking of the pain, not the way it looked. Emma thought his reaction was hilarious.
Ds (who had stayed home), according to Emma, looked at her, nodded and said "so you had it done then" his mouth twitched a little and Emma grinned at him, and he grinned back. Now he wants to have his ear pierced.
Megan 8, was the most distressed by the whole procedure. She wanted to come in and watch it being done. Her eyes filled with tears and she needed hugs. She said she wants her ears pierced but thinks she should wait til she's thirteen because she's worried about the pain.
If you've read this far, thankyou. I needed to tell someone who can understand and appreciate the hooooge shift in attitude that I'm undergoing. My kids are so much happier than they've ever been and so am I. Sometimes I feel like I'm only just managing to muddle through our days, but behind that feeling is the knowledge that my kids are growing in freedom, love and the firm belief that they can "do what they wanna do, be what they wanna be, yeah".
Ramble over <g>
hugs, Lee-Ann in Australia
aka Dances With Goats
aka Stands With a Mop
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Barbara Moreda
Okay ... so I am not waiting a week or two to chime in. Too hard! :)
My name is Barbara and I have three children. I wanted to comment on the
piercing thing. My son is about to be 12. He got his ear pierced just over
a year ago. He keeps losing earrings and I have stopped buying them for him
with my money. Good thing his best friend is a girl with a few piercings,
eh?
We have gone through "hair" with him. He has had a few mohawks and even
bleached his beautiful red hair and then dyed it ... well, it was supposed
to be blue but it was more a turquoise green. I was laughing so hard after
the first rinsing, my friend, had to finish rinsing it, I could not stand
up! Luckily, we still had lots of dye left as his hair was very short, so
we added more.
He now wants to let it grow out, get a spikey hairdo and change the color
on the tips daily. His hair does grow fast so we shall see if he still
wants that in a few months. Right now, it is naturally colored ... as it was
growing out, I would ask him every few days if he was ready to have it
buzzed again. We almost had to shave it to get it all out when he was
ready. I didn't pressure him ... he knew he could say no (he did for
weeks!). Last year, when he had the mohawk and earring, we went to my dad's
for the holidays ... boy, did he ever get ribbing from both sides of my
family ... but he was able to take it good naturedly (fortunately, they were
not too brutal with him!)
Barbara
Barbara Moreda
A community for Women: Our Place http://pub83.ezboard.com/bmiamivalleymoms
If you plan for one year, plant rice. If you plan for 10 years, plant a
tree. If you plan for 100 years, educate a child. Chinese proverb
Mommy to RJ (12/91), Michael (11/95) and Maggie (2/98)
mailto:homeiscool@...
My name is Barbara and I have three children. I wanted to comment on the
piercing thing. My son is about to be 12. He got his ear pierced just over
a year ago. He keeps losing earrings and I have stopped buying them for him
with my money. Good thing his best friend is a girl with a few piercings,
eh?
We have gone through "hair" with him. He has had a few mohawks and even
bleached his beautiful red hair and then dyed it ... well, it was supposed
to be blue but it was more a turquoise green. I was laughing so hard after
the first rinsing, my friend, had to finish rinsing it, I could not stand
up! Luckily, we still had lots of dye left as his hair was very short, so
we added more.
He now wants to let it grow out, get a spikey hairdo and change the color
on the tips daily. His hair does grow fast so we shall see if he still
wants that in a few months. Right now, it is naturally colored ... as it was
growing out, I would ask him every few days if he was ready to have it
buzzed again. We almost had to shave it to get it all out when he was
ready. I didn't pressure him ... he knew he could say no (he did for
weeks!). Last year, when he had the mohawk and earring, we went to my dad's
for the holidays ... boy, did he ever get ribbing from both sides of my
family ... but he was able to take it good naturedly (fortunately, they were
not too brutal with him!)
Barbara
Barbara Moreda
A community for Women: Our Place http://pub83.ezboard.com/bmiamivalleymoms
If you plan for one year, plant rice. If you plan for 10 years, plant a
tree. If you plan for 100 years, educate a child. Chinese proverb
Mommy to RJ (12/91), Michael (11/95) and Maggie (2/98)
mailto:homeiscool@...
----- Original Message -----
From: "Lee-Ann and Robert Storer" <lrjem1@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, December 05, 2003 4:14 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] nose piercing!!
> Hi all,
>
> My, my, I've come a long way in the past year! When my dd, Emma, was 9
she wanted her ears pierced. She was desperate to have them pierced. She
*needed* them pierced - puhleeze mum, I'm begging you. "No, sweetie, I want
you to wait til you're thirteen, it's a 'milestone' and the piercing will
*mean* something" (to me, not to her!!) She made me see sense on that one
and said she was prepared to wait until she was 10 as a compromise because
10 sounds like a 'milestone' age <g> The big 'one-oh' rolled around and her
ears were pierced.
>
> No she's 11 1/2. In the past year we've talked about her getting a tattoo
but were told that she has to wait til she's around 16 because the skin is
going through too many changes during puberty. Sounded reasonable to me and
her.
>
> Last week she told me she wanted her nose pierced. She walked around for
a couple of days with various beads blue tacked or uhued to her nose to see
if she liked the look. Yesterday she had her nose pierced. She had it done
with a needle in a reputable 'beauty salon'. I could tell that it hurt - a
lot.
>
> She was amazingly calm and even though she'd practiced several swear words
in the car on the way into the city (for use at the appropriate time LOL),
she didn't swear at all. So now she is sporting a 'sleeper' until her nose
heals enough to exchange it for a tiny pin. The sleeper looked hoooooge
yesterday but today it looks rather normal to us and she's very pleased with
her new look.
>
> On the way home in the car we talked about what dh and ds 14 would say.
Predictions ranged from hysterical laughter from ds to a very dry "Oh Emma"
from dh. We were far from correct <g>.
>
> Dh smiled and waved from inside the bank when we arrived to pick him up
from work, turned away to go to the door, did a double take, covered his
mouth with both hands and yelled "Whyyyyyyyyy???" roflmao. He was thinking
of the pain, not the way it looked. Emma thought his reaction was
hilarious.
>
> Ds (who had stayed home), according to Emma, looked at her, nodded and
said "so you had it done then" his mouth twitched a little and Emma grinned
at him, and he grinned back. Now he wants to have his ear pierced.
>
> Megan 8, was the most distressed by the whole procedure. She wanted to
come in and watch it being done. Her eyes filled with tears and she needed
hugs. She said she wants her ears pierced but thinks she should wait til
she's thirteen because she's worried about the pain.
>
> If you've read this far, thankyou. I needed to tell someone who can
understand and appreciate the hooooge shift in attitude that I'm undergoing.
My kids are so much happier than they've ever been and so am I. Sometimes I
feel like I'm only just managing to muddle through our days, but behind that
feeling is the knowledge that my kids are growing in freedom, love and the
firm belief that they can "do what they wanna do, be what they wanna be,
yeah".
>
> Ramble over <g>
>
> hugs, Lee-Ann in Australia
> aka Dances With Goats
> aka Stands With a Mop
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
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>
Stepheny Cappel
I wouldn't say never in this situation. You have to know your kids. What would happen if you didn't allow them to do something and they were a strong minded, willed whatever and just decided to do it themselves?
Ds was 14 and decided to do his own tattoo, while he was at his dad's. It came out horrible, was uncentered etc. When he was 16 I signed for him to get a tattoo to cover up. He paid for it himself, everything is fixed and we all lived. I allowed all brother and sisters to watch him get it, they saw and I'm not sure if any of them think they want one.
He also kind of used it as an id, which I could have kicked myself for afterwards. So people thought he was old enough to buy cigarettes and alcohol just because he had a tattoo.
Dh won't "allow" dd14 to get a second piercing in her ear yet. I don't see the problem with it. I have two, I like it. Thing is pretty soon she will likely end up with the other earrings in her ears.
We talk about piercings all the time. We know people that have had their tongue pierced, that looks like a hurt, and they can't talk right afterwards. Big readjustment. My son was talking about pulling hair out of the nose in reference to piercing the nose LOL... he doesn't want that. I would prefer that they keep the piercing to their ears, but they will eventually do it if they want to.
Dd 23 has a belly button piercing although she doesn't wear the ring anymore and it constantly bothers her. I thought if she put the ring back in maybe it wouldn't bother her so much. She also got a tattoo that had to be fixed on her leg. Better to allow it, within a reasonable time frame.
For a little girl who is 9 to be wanting it for two years is proof enough to me she probably would have ended up doing it herself or trying to let a friend do it. Glad she had it done and I hope she enjoys it.
Stepheny
Wow...I don't think that I could allow any of the kids to pierce their nose at jsut 11 years old....
MamaBeth
My, my, I've come a long way in the past year! When my dd, Emma, was 9 she wanted her ears pierced. She was desperate to have them pierced. She *needed* them pierced - puhleeze mum, I'm begging you. "No, sweetie, I want you to wait til you're thirteen, it's a 'milestone' and the piercing will *mean* something" (to me, not to her!!) She made me see sense on that one and said she was prepared to wait until she was 10 as a compromise because 10 sounds like a 'milestone' age <g> The big 'one-oh' rolled around and her ears were pierced.
No she's 11 1/2. In the past year we've talked about her getting a tattoo but were told that she has to wait til she's around 16 because the skin is going through too many changes during puberty. Sounded reasonable to me and her.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ds was 14 and decided to do his own tattoo, while he was at his dad's. It came out horrible, was uncentered etc. When he was 16 I signed for him to get a tattoo to cover up. He paid for it himself, everything is fixed and we all lived. I allowed all brother and sisters to watch him get it, they saw and I'm not sure if any of them think they want one.
He also kind of used it as an id, which I could have kicked myself for afterwards. So people thought he was old enough to buy cigarettes and alcohol just because he had a tattoo.
Dh won't "allow" dd14 to get a second piercing in her ear yet. I don't see the problem with it. I have two, I like it. Thing is pretty soon she will likely end up with the other earrings in her ears.
We talk about piercings all the time. We know people that have had their tongue pierced, that looks like a hurt, and they can't talk right afterwards. Big readjustment. My son was talking about pulling hair out of the nose in reference to piercing the nose LOL... he doesn't want that. I would prefer that they keep the piercing to their ears, but they will eventually do it if they want to.
Dd 23 has a belly button piercing although she doesn't wear the ring anymore and it constantly bothers her. I thought if she put the ring back in maybe it wouldn't bother her so much. She also got a tattoo that had to be fixed on her leg. Better to allow it, within a reasonable time frame.
For a little girl who is 9 to be wanting it for two years is proof enough to me she probably would have ended up doing it herself or trying to let a friend do it. Glad she had it done and I hope she enjoys it.
Stepheny
Wow...I don't think that I could allow any of the kids to pierce their nose at jsut 11 years old....
MamaBeth
My, my, I've come a long way in the past year! When my dd, Emma, was 9 she wanted her ears pierced. She was desperate to have them pierced. She *needed* them pierced - puhleeze mum, I'm begging you. "No, sweetie, I want you to wait til you're thirteen, it's a 'milestone' and the piercing will *mean* something" (to me, not to her!!) She made me see sense on that one and said she was prepared to wait until she was 10 as a compromise because 10 sounds like a 'milestone' age <g> The big 'one-oh' rolled around and her ears were pierced.
No she's 11 1/2. In the past year we've talked about her getting a tattoo but were told that she has to wait til she's around 16 because the skin is going through too many changes during puberty. Sounded reasonable to me and her.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Elizabeth Roberts
Wow...I don't think that I could allow any of the kids to pierce their nose at jsut 11 years old....
MamaBeth
Lee-Ann and Robert Storer <lrjem1@...> wrote:
Hi all,
My, my, I've come a long way in the past year! When my dd, Emma, was 9 she wanted her ears pierced. She was desperate to have them pierced. She *needed* them pierced - puhleeze mum, I'm begging you. "No, sweetie, I want you to wait til you're thirteen, it's a 'milestone' and the piercing will *mean* something" (to me, not to her!!) She made me see sense on that one and said she was prepared to wait until she was 10 as a compromise because 10 sounds like a 'milestone' age <g> The big 'one-oh' rolled around and her ears were pierced.
No she's 11 1/2. In the past year we've talked about her getting a tattoo but were told that she has to wait til she's around 16 because the skin is going through too many changes during puberty. Sounded reasonable to me and her.
Last week she told me she wanted her nose pierced. She walked around for a couple of days with various beads blue tacked or uhued to her nose to see if she liked the look. Yesterday she had her nose pierced. She had it done with a needle in a reputable 'beauty salon'. I could tell that it hurt - a lot.
She was amazingly calm and even though she'd practiced several swear words in the car on the way into the city (for use at the appropriate time LOL), she didn't swear at all. So now she is sporting a 'sleeper' until her nose heals enough to exchange it for a tiny pin. The sleeper looked hoooooge yesterday but today it looks rather normal to us and she's very pleased with her new look.
On the way home in the car we talked about what dh and ds 14 would say. Predictions ranged from hysterical laughter from ds to a very dry "Oh Emma" from dh. We were far from correct <g>.
Dh smiled and waved from inside the bank when we arrived to pick him up from work, turned away to go to the door, did a double take, covered his mouth with both hands and yelled "Whyyyyyyyyy???" roflmao. He was thinking of the pain, not the way it looked. Emma thought his reaction was hilarious.
Ds (who had stayed home), according to Emma, looked at her, nodded and said "so you had it done then" his mouth twitched a little and Emma grinned at him, and he grinned back. Now he wants to have his ear pierced.
Megan 8, was the most distressed by the whole procedure. She wanted to come in and watch it being done. Her eyes filled with tears and she needed hugs. She said she wants her ears pierced but thinks she should wait til she's thirteen because she's worried about the pain.
If you've read this far, thankyou. I needed to tell someone who can understand and appreciate the hooooge shift in attitude that I'm undergoing. My kids are so much happier than they've ever been and so am I. Sometimes I feel like I'm only just managing to muddle through our days, but behind that feeling is the knowledge that my kids are growing in freedom, love and the firm belief that they can "do what they wanna do, be what they wanna be, yeah".
Ramble over <g>
hugs, Lee-Ann in Australia
aka Dances With Goats
aka Stands With a Mop
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
MamaBeth
Lee-Ann and Robert Storer <lrjem1@...> wrote:
Hi all,
My, my, I've come a long way in the past year! When my dd, Emma, was 9 she wanted her ears pierced. She was desperate to have them pierced. She *needed* them pierced - puhleeze mum, I'm begging you. "No, sweetie, I want you to wait til you're thirteen, it's a 'milestone' and the piercing will *mean* something" (to me, not to her!!) She made me see sense on that one and said she was prepared to wait until she was 10 as a compromise because 10 sounds like a 'milestone' age <g> The big 'one-oh' rolled around and her ears were pierced.
No she's 11 1/2. In the past year we've talked about her getting a tattoo but were told that she has to wait til she's around 16 because the skin is going through too many changes during puberty. Sounded reasonable to me and her.
Last week she told me she wanted her nose pierced. She walked around for a couple of days with various beads blue tacked or uhued to her nose to see if she liked the look. Yesterday she had her nose pierced. She had it done with a needle in a reputable 'beauty salon'. I could tell that it hurt - a lot.
She was amazingly calm and even though she'd practiced several swear words in the car on the way into the city (for use at the appropriate time LOL), she didn't swear at all. So now she is sporting a 'sleeper' until her nose heals enough to exchange it for a tiny pin. The sleeper looked hoooooge yesterday but today it looks rather normal to us and she's very pleased with her new look.
On the way home in the car we talked about what dh and ds 14 would say. Predictions ranged from hysterical laughter from ds to a very dry "Oh Emma" from dh. We were far from correct <g>.
Dh smiled and waved from inside the bank when we arrived to pick him up from work, turned away to go to the door, did a double take, covered his mouth with both hands and yelled "Whyyyyyyyyy???" roflmao. He was thinking of the pain, not the way it looked. Emma thought his reaction was hilarious.
Ds (who had stayed home), according to Emma, looked at her, nodded and said "so you had it done then" his mouth twitched a little and Emma grinned at him, and he grinned back. Now he wants to have his ear pierced.
Megan 8, was the most distressed by the whole procedure. She wanted to come in and watch it being done. Her eyes filled with tears and she needed hugs. She said she wants her ears pierced but thinks she should wait til she's thirteen because she's worried about the pain.
If you've read this far, thankyou. I needed to tell someone who can understand and appreciate the hooooge shift in attitude that I'm undergoing. My kids are so much happier than they've ever been and so am I. Sometimes I feel like I'm only just managing to muddle through our days, but behind that feeling is the knowledge that my kids are growing in freedom, love and the firm belief that they can "do what they wanna do, be what they wanna be, yeah".
Ramble over <g>
hugs, Lee-Ann in Australia
aka Dances With Goats
aka Stands With a Mop
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
To unsubscribe from this send an email to:
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Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: http://www.unschooling.com
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---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
My son now 8 had really long hair that he was growing to donate to locks of
love, he has also had purple hair. Its amazing how narrow minded people can
be. He hear all the time that he shouldn't be allowed to have long hair or
purple hair and that he should get a hair cut. My brother, a child psychologist,
is the worst. When my son had long hair he tried to bribe him to cut it. (oh
like that isn't wrong). Were screwing up our kids because we are unschooling
and allowing them choices, we won't force them to go to college so we are
wrong again. He is just so narrow minded. I now just walk out when certain
conversations come up. My son now has short hair and wants it green. I think I
will do it just before the big family Christmas.... that should give them
something to talk about. Why can't people just let their kids be who they are.
Heidi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
love, he has also had purple hair. Its amazing how narrow minded people can
be. He hear all the time that he shouldn't be allowed to have long hair or
purple hair and that he should get a hair cut. My brother, a child psychologist,
is the worst. When my son had long hair he tried to bribe him to cut it. (oh
like that isn't wrong). Were screwing up our kids because we are unschooling
and allowing them choices, we won't force them to go to college so we are
wrong again. He is just so narrow minded. I now just walk out when certain
conversations come up. My son now has short hair and wants it green. I think I
will do it just before the big family Christmas.... that should give them
something to talk about. Why can't people just let their kids be who they are.
Heidi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Wife2Vegman
--- Lee-Ann and Robert Storer <lrjem1@...>
wrote:
bellybutton pierced, but we can't find a place in
Northern VA who will do it for her because she is 14.
She pierced her own bellybutton a couple years ago,
but didnt' do it correctly and it was irritating so
she took it out. I asked her to please allow me to
pay for it next time so it is done correctly and
sanitarily, so she agreed, but we can't find someone
to do it.
Any ideas, anyone?
Thanks,
Susan
wifetovegman
__________________________________
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wrote:
>My daughter wants to have her eyebrow and her
> Last week she told me she wanted her nose pierced.
> She walked around for a couple of days with various
> beads blue tacked or uhued to her nose to see if she
> liked the look. Yesterday she had her nose pierced.
> She had it done with a needle in a reputable
> 'beauty salon'. I could tell that it hurt - a lot.
bellybutton pierced, but we can't find a place in
Northern VA who will do it for her because she is 14.
She pierced her own bellybutton a couple years ago,
but didnt' do it correctly and it was irritating so
she took it out. I asked her to please allow me to
pay for it next time so it is done correctly and
sanitarily, so she agreed, but we can't find someone
to do it.
Any ideas, anyone?
Thanks,
Susan
wifetovegman
__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
New Yahoo! Photos - easier uploading and sharing.
http://photos.yahoo.com/
Tia Leschke
>My son now 8 had really long hair that he was growing to donate to locks ofMy step-daughter used to (well, still does but she's grown now) change her
>love, he has also had purple hair. Its amazing how narrow minded people can
>be. He hear all the time that he shouldn't be allowed to have long hair or
>purple hair and that he should get a hair cut. My brother, a child
>psychologist,
>is the worst. When my son had long hair he tried to bribe him to cut it. (oh
>like that isn't wrong). Were screwing up our kids because we are unschooling
>and allowing them choices, we won't force them to go to college so we are
>wrong again. He is just so narrow minded. I now just walk out when certain
>conversations come up. My son now has short hair and wants it green. I
>think I
>will do it just before the big family Christmas.... that should give them
>something to talk about. Why can't people just let their kids be who they
>are.
hair style, colour, and piercings so often you could hardly keep track of
her. The grandparents used to get their knickers in a knot about it, but I
just told them she was still the same Emily on the inside, where it counts.
That finally quieted them.
Tia
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/6/2003 12:19:28 PM Eastern Standard Time,
wifetovegman2002@... writes:
My daughter wants to have her eyebrow and her
bellybutton pierced, but we can't find a place in
Northern VA who will do it for her because she is 14.
I know you can get it done in Triangle/Dumfries which is right at the end of
Route 234 and up Route 1 less than a mile.
My Cait got her belly button done there last March just before her 15th
birthday. They didn't check age at all, just asked me to sign a permission form
since she was under 18.
It's at a tattoo place called RIO'S, it was very clean and very quick. I
think the only "rule" is that if you are under 18 you must have a parents
permission. There was another child/young girl in there with friends with a
permission slip her mother had "signed" (seems they were there ten minutes earlier and
were told about said permission slip requirement and never leaving the
parking lot were back) they ended up calling the mother or something or other but
the girl got pierced after Cait.
So I think if you ask and a parent signs it should be OK.
glena
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
wifetovegman2002@... writes:
My daughter wants to have her eyebrow and her
bellybutton pierced, but we can't find a place in
Northern VA who will do it for her because she is 14.
I know you can get it done in Triangle/Dumfries which is right at the end of
Route 234 and up Route 1 less than a mile.
My Cait got her belly button done there last March just before her 15th
birthday. They didn't check age at all, just asked me to sign a permission form
since she was under 18.
It's at a tattoo place called RIO'S, it was very clean and very quick. I
think the only "rule" is that if you are under 18 you must have a parents
permission. There was another child/young girl in there with friends with a
permission slip her mother had "signed" (seems they were there ten minutes earlier and
were told about said permission slip requirement and never leaving the
parking lot were back) they ended up calling the mother or something or other but
the girl got pierced after Cait.
So I think if you ask and a parent signs it should be OK.
glena
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Wife2Vegman
--- rubyprincesstsg@... wrote:
to Triangle around Christmas time :-)
wifetovegman
__________________________________
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> In a message dated 12/6/2003 12:19:28 PM EasternThanks! Maybe I will surprise Sarah with a roadtrip
> Standard Time,
>
> I know you can get it done in Triangle/Dumfries
> which is right at the end of
> Route 234 and up Route 1 less than a mile.
>
>
> So I think if you ask and a parent signs it should
> be OK.
>
> glena
to Triangle around Christmas time :-)
wifetovegman
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joylyn
why not?
It's the child's body.
Personally I think that if my child does the research on the pros and
cons, the risks, the health considerations, where to get it done safely,
etc. then I'd let her do it.
Personally I want my nose pierced, but I'm too chicken.
Joylyn
Elizabeth Roberts wrote:
It's the child's body.
Personally I think that if my child does the research on the pros and
cons, the risks, the health considerations, where to get it done safely,
etc. then I'd let her do it.
Personally I want my nose pierced, but I'm too chicken.
Joylyn
Elizabeth Roberts wrote:
> Wow...I don't think that I could allow any of the kids to pierce their[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> nose at jsut 11 years old....
>
> MamaBeth
>
> Lee-Ann and Robert Storer <lrjem1@...> wrote:
> Hi all,
>
> My, my, I've come a long way in the past year! When my dd, Emma, was
> 9 she wanted her ears pierced. She was desperate to have them
> pierced. She *needed* them pierced - puhleeze mum, I'm begging you.
> "No, sweetie, I want you to wait til you're thirteen, it's a
> 'milestone' and the piercing will *mean* something" (to me, not to
> her!!) She made me see sense on that one and said she was prepared to
> wait until she was 10 as a compromise because 10 sounds like a
> 'milestone' age <g> The big 'one-oh' rolled around and her ears were
> pierced.
>
> No she's 11 1/2. In the past year we've talked about her getting a
> tattoo but were told that she has to wait til she's around 16 because
> the skin is going through too many changes during puberty. Sounded
> reasonable to me and her.
>
> Last week she told me she wanted her nose pierced. She walked around
> for a couple of days with various beads blue tacked or uhued to her
> nose to see if she liked the look. Yesterday she had her nose
> pierced. She had it done with a needle in a reputable 'beauty
> salon'. I could tell that it hurt - a lot.
>
> She was amazingly calm and even though she'd practiced several swear
> words in the car on the way into the city (for use at the appropriate
> time LOL), she didn't swear at all. So now she is sporting a
> 'sleeper' until her nose heals enough to exchange it for a tiny pin.
> The sleeper looked hoooooge yesterday but today it looks rather normal
> to us and she's very pleased with her new look.
>
> On the way home in the car we talked about what dh and ds 14 would
> say. Predictions ranged from hysterical laughter from ds to a very
> dry "Oh Emma" from dh. We were far from correct <g>.
>
> Dh smiled and waved from inside the bank when we arrived to pick him
> up from work, turned away to go to the door, did a double take,
> covered his mouth with both hands and yelled "Whyyyyyyyyy???"
> roflmao. He was thinking of the pain, not the way it looked. Emma
> thought his reaction was hilarious.
>
> Ds (who had stayed home), according to Emma, looked at her, nodded
> and said "so you had it done then" his mouth twitched a little and
> Emma grinned at him, and he grinned back. Now he wants to have his
> ear pierced.
>
> Megan 8, was the most distressed by the whole procedure. She wanted
> to come in and watch it being done. Her eyes filled with tears and
> she needed hugs. She said she wants her ears pierced but thinks she
> should wait til she's thirteen because she's worried about the pain.
>
> If you've read this far, thankyou. I needed to tell someone who can
> understand and appreciate the hooooge shift in attitude that I'm
> undergoing. My kids are so much happier than they've ever been and so
> am I. Sometimes I feel like I'm only just managing to muddle through
> our days, but behind that feeling is the knowledge that my kids are
> growing in freedom, love and the firm belief that they can "do what
> they wanna do, be what they wanna be, yeah".
>
> Ramble over <g>
>
> hugs, Lee-Ann in Australia
> aka Dances With Goats
> aka Stands With a Mop
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
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joylyn
I just bought purple hair to put in Janene's hair and blue hair to put
in Lexie's hair (extensions). They both refused. My children will be
normal in their attempts to rebell.
Joylyn (only slightly sarcastic)
hmsclmyboy@... wrote:
in Lexie's hair (extensions). They both refused. My children will be
normal in their attempts to rebell.
Joylyn (only slightly sarcastic)
hmsclmyboy@... wrote:
> My son now 8 had really long hair that he was growing to donate to[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> locks of
> love, he has also had purple hair. Its amazing how narrow minded
> people can
> be. He hear all the time that he shouldn't be allowed to have long
> hair or
> purple hair and that he should get a hair cut. My brother, a child
> psychologist,
> is the worst. When my son had long hair he tried to bribe him to cut
> it. (oh
> like that isn't wrong). Were screwing up our kids because we are
> unschooling
> and allowing them choices, we won't force them to go to college so we are
> wrong again. He is just so narrow minded. I now just walk out when
> certain
> conversations come up. My son now has short hair and wants it green.
> I think I
> will do it just before the big family Christmas.... that should give them
> something to talk about. Why can't people just let their kids be who
> they are.
>
> Heidi
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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Danielle E. Conger
>Personally I want my nose pierced, but I'm too chicken.For what it's worth, I used to have my nose pierced. Now that I have taken
>Joylyn
it out, it just looks like a giant pore on the side of my nose. :/ Not
really the look I am going for now, you know? lol
That said, I had a friend do it, so maybe if done professionally it
wouldn't do that. But, I've also let my second ear holes close up (and dh
his three on one ear) and you can still see those all of those as well.
*shrug* Just something else to consider from someone who has been there,
done that. I also have a tatoo on my ankle because that was someplace that
would never sag! lol
--danielle
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/7/2003 8:54:52 AM Central Standard Time,
danielle.conger@... writes:
I know quite a few people with piercings they don't wear anymore, and the
holes show up obviously. Nose, ears, etc.
I prefer my kids not get piercings, other than earlobes, or tattoos until
they're old enough to get them legally on their own. I don't ever want them to
have a reason to blame me for a decision they regret ("But Mom! You could have
stopped me!"). Not the greatest motivation in the world, but there it is.
My 10 yo wants his ear pierced because he thinks it looks cool. But his
friends have been having trouble keeping theirs clean and infection free, so he's
thinking twice.
I have a good friend who's pretty covered in ink and she has a lot of
warnings about her experiences and the piercings she's seen go wrong. She knows
someone who got a brain infection and died, from an eyebrow piercing. You don't
always have the same outlook on life at 38 that you had at 18. ;)
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
danielle.conger@... writes:
> For what it's worth, I used to have my nose pierced. Now that I have taken~~~
> it out, it just looks like a giant pore on the side of my nose. :/ Not
> really the look I am going for now, you know? lol
>
I know quite a few people with piercings they don't wear anymore, and the
holes show up obviously. Nose, ears, etc.
I prefer my kids not get piercings, other than earlobes, or tattoos until
they're old enough to get them legally on their own. I don't ever want them to
have a reason to blame me for a decision they regret ("But Mom! You could have
stopped me!"). Not the greatest motivation in the world, but there it is.
My 10 yo wants his ear pierced because he thinks it looks cool. But his
friends have been having trouble keeping theirs clean and infection free, so he's
thinking twice.
I have a good friend who's pretty covered in ink and she has a lot of
warnings about her experiences and the piercings she's seen go wrong. She knows
someone who got a brain infection and died, from an eyebrow piercing. You don't
always have the same outlook on life at 38 that you had at 18. ;)
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Elizabeth Roberts
Oh, I fully understand. The DAY my older brother turned 18 he went out and got himself a tatoo...had been told no for years.... and I'm not saying never, I'm just saying that I doubt that at 11 I'd be willing. I could be wrong though, that's a few years off. I used to think that a mother I knew was nuts for letting her 4 year old son get his ear pierced, but he'd wanted it and actually took good care of it. A big problem is that my oldest, at least right now, I'm not sure she'd take good care of a piercing. We're planning to get her ears done for Christmas though and if things go well, then...well...who knows...
MamaBeth
Stepheny Cappel <stephc62@...> wrote:
I wouldn't say never in this situation. You have to know your kids. What would happen if you didn't allow them to do something and they were a strong minded, willed whatever and just decided to do it themselves?
Ds was 14 and decided to do his own tattoo, while he was at his dad's. It came out horrible, was uncentered etc. When he was 16 I signed for him to get a tattoo to cover up. He paid for it himself, everything is fixed and we all lived. I allowed all brother and sisters to watch him get it, they saw and I'm not sure if any of them think they want one.
He also kind of used it as an id, which I could have kicked myself for afterwards. So people thought he was old enough to buy cigarettes and alcohol just because he had a tattoo.
Dh won't "allow" dd14 to get a second piercing in her ear yet. I don't see the problem with it. I have two, I like it. Thing is pretty soon she will likely end up with the other earrings in her ears.
We talk about piercings all the time. We know people that have had their tongue pierced, that looks like a hurt, and they can't talk right afterwards. Big readjustment. My son was talking about pulling hair out of the nose in reference to piercing the nose LOL... he doesn't want that. I would prefer that they keep the piercing to their ears, but they will eventually do it if they want to.
Dd 23 has a belly button piercing although she doesn't wear the ring anymore and it constantly bothers her. I thought if she put the ring back in maybe it wouldn't bother her so much. She also got a tattoo that had to be fixed on her leg. Better to allow it, within a reasonable time frame.
For a little girl who is 9 to be wanting it for two years is proof enough to me she probably would have ended up doing it herself or trying to let a friend do it. Glad she had it done and I hope she enjoys it.
Stepheny
Wow...I don't think that I could allow any of the kids to pierce their nose at jsut 11 years old....
MamaBeth
My, my, I've come a long way in the past year! When my dd, Emma, was 9 she wanted her ears pierced. She was desperate to have them pierced. She *needed* them pierced - puhleeze mum, I'm begging you. "No, sweetie, I want you to wait til you're thirteen, it's a 'milestone' and the piercing will *mean* something" (to me, not to her!!) She made me see sense on that one and said she was prepared to wait until she was 10 as a compromise because 10 sounds like a 'milestone' age <g> The big 'one-oh' rolled around and her ears were pierced.
No she's 11 1/2. In the past year we've talked about her getting a tattoo but were told that she has to wait til she's around 16 because the skin is going through too many changes during puberty. Sounded reasonable to me and her.
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MamaBeth
Stepheny Cappel <stephc62@...> wrote:
I wouldn't say never in this situation. You have to know your kids. What would happen if you didn't allow them to do something and they were a strong minded, willed whatever and just decided to do it themselves?
Ds was 14 and decided to do his own tattoo, while he was at his dad's. It came out horrible, was uncentered etc. When he was 16 I signed for him to get a tattoo to cover up. He paid for it himself, everything is fixed and we all lived. I allowed all brother and sisters to watch him get it, they saw and I'm not sure if any of them think they want one.
He also kind of used it as an id, which I could have kicked myself for afterwards. So people thought he was old enough to buy cigarettes and alcohol just because he had a tattoo.
Dh won't "allow" dd14 to get a second piercing in her ear yet. I don't see the problem with it. I have two, I like it. Thing is pretty soon she will likely end up with the other earrings in her ears.
We talk about piercings all the time. We know people that have had their tongue pierced, that looks like a hurt, and they can't talk right afterwards. Big readjustment. My son was talking about pulling hair out of the nose in reference to piercing the nose LOL... he doesn't want that. I would prefer that they keep the piercing to their ears, but they will eventually do it if they want to.
Dd 23 has a belly button piercing although she doesn't wear the ring anymore and it constantly bothers her. I thought if she put the ring back in maybe it wouldn't bother her so much. She also got a tattoo that had to be fixed on her leg. Better to allow it, within a reasonable time frame.
For a little girl who is 9 to be wanting it for two years is proof enough to me she probably would have ended up doing it herself or trying to let a friend do it. Glad she had it done and I hope she enjoys it.
Stepheny
Wow...I don't think that I could allow any of the kids to pierce their nose at jsut 11 years old....
MamaBeth
My, my, I've come a long way in the past year! When my dd, Emma, was 9 she wanted her ears pierced. She was desperate to have them pierced. She *needed* them pierced - puhleeze mum, I'm begging you. "No, sweetie, I want you to wait til you're thirteen, it's a 'milestone' and the piercing will *mean* something" (to me, not to her!!) She made me see sense on that one and said she was prepared to wait until she was 10 as a compromise because 10 sounds like a 'milestone' age <g> The big 'one-oh' rolled around and her ears were pierced.
No she's 11 1/2. In the past year we've talked about her getting a tattoo but were told that she has to wait til she's around 16 because the skin is going through too many changes during puberty. Sounded reasonable to me and her.
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Elizabeth Roberts
I'm not saying never, I'm saying right now I can't picture it.
I don't think it's so much the nose piercing as the age/maturity level. Right now I don't see that Sarah would be responsible about it, but I could be mistaken.
Although...we aren't there yet. Sarah is just 7 years old, the others are 3 and under. Maybe at 11 Sarah would be mature enough to make that decision for herself..maybe not. It's not so much getting it just because she wants to; it would be understanding how to care for it, being able to care for it, etc.
We were going to make her wait until 13 to get her ears pierced, but decided to go ahead and do it this Christmas. She REALLY wants a pair of butterfly earrings that she saw at a jewelry store, and I told her that if she takes good care of her ears and the earrings then I'd be willing to get them for her. It's an expensive set (I want to surprise her with the necklace, bracelet and ring that matches the earrings).
So we'll see. And if come 11 years old she's talking about piercing her nose..and she's been good about her jewelry and her ears, then maybe...
MamaBeth
Everything I need to know, I learned on my own!
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I don't think it's so much the nose piercing as the age/maturity level. Right now I don't see that Sarah would be responsible about it, but I could be mistaken.
Although...we aren't there yet. Sarah is just 7 years old, the others are 3 and under. Maybe at 11 Sarah would be mature enough to make that decision for herself..maybe not. It's not so much getting it just because she wants to; it would be understanding how to care for it, being able to care for it, etc.
We were going to make her wait until 13 to get her ears pierced, but decided to go ahead and do it this Christmas. She REALLY wants a pair of butterfly earrings that she saw at a jewelry store, and I told her that if she takes good care of her ears and the earrings then I'd be willing to get them for her. It's an expensive set (I want to surprise her with the necklace, bracelet and ring that matches the earrings).
So we'll see. And if come 11 years old she's talking about piercing her nose..and she's been good about her jewelry and her ears, then maybe...
MamaBeth
Everything I need to know, I learned on my own!
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Thinking hard now about "things I personally find psychologically,
physically and/or spiritually dangerous" and how I'll handle it if (when) my
children are seriously drawn to those things.
I agree that not forbidding, not overreacting, and not going to any
extreme as Sandra wrote in her Balancing column, are important cautions for
unschoolers.
But it seems to me worth mentioning that another extreme to avoid
would be a sort of anything-goes tolerance for risky or demonstrably destructive
choices, in the name of "unschooling." Where each of us begins to feel that
extreme approaching will vary, of course. Nose-piercing, tattoos, sexual contact
with others, ingesting mind-altering substances, handling guns, and playing
violent video games all fit into that category for me, when it is my own
children under 14 in question. Those are some places that the "it's their body so
what's the harm?" philosophy seems extreme to me. I think part of my job in
protecting and nurturing my children is to first protect them from their own
extreme behavior long enough to help them to learn how to handle their own extreme
impulses and desires that might do them permanent harm.
Up to now, I had been mainly thinking about how as an unschooler to
help them handle learning to drive a car on today's highways, but now I have so
much more to worry about fitting into our unschooling, things that seem much
more "extreme" to me than driving! Gee, thanks, guys! <g> JJ
physically and/or spiritually dangerous" and how I'll handle it if (when) my
children are seriously drawn to those things.
I agree that not forbidding, not overreacting, and not going to any
extreme as Sandra wrote in her Balancing column, are important cautions for
unschoolers.
But it seems to me worth mentioning that another extreme to avoid
would be a sort of anything-goes tolerance for risky or demonstrably destructive
choices, in the name of "unschooling." Where each of us begins to feel that
extreme approaching will vary, of course. Nose-piercing, tattoos, sexual contact
with others, ingesting mind-altering substances, handling guns, and playing
violent video games all fit into that category for me, when it is my own
children under 14 in question. Those are some places that the "it's their body so
what's the harm?" philosophy seems extreme to me. I think part of my job in
protecting and nurturing my children is to first protect them from their own
extreme behavior long enough to help them to learn how to handle their own extreme
impulses and desires that might do them permanent harm.
Up to now, I had been mainly thinking about how as an unschooler to
help them handle learning to drive a car on today's highways, but now I have so
much more to worry about fitting into our unschooling, things that seem much
more "extreme" to me than driving! Gee, thanks, guys! <g> JJ
> Stepheny Cappel <stephc62@...> wrote:[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I wouldn't say never in this situation. You have to know your kids. What
> would happen if you didn't allow them to do something and they were a strong
> minded, willed whatever and just decided to do it themselves?
>
joylyn
Lexie wanted her ears pierced a year or so ago. I was OK with it but
said let's wait until we can do the research on it. I had called my
brother, who has a tongue piercing, and had done some research and
basically found out that for even ears you need to go to a professional,
not some earing store in the mall. About that time one of Lexie's
friend went to get her ears pierced. The child came back with just one
done,c ause it hurt so much. Lexie told me the next day she wants to
wait until she's older.
A few years ago Lexie and I watched a really neat program on tatooing.
It was very intense, showed all sorts of different ways, from modern to
old fashioned. After it was over, I said something like "just makes you
wanna run out and get a tatoo." Lexie laughed and said "no mom, makes
me want to never get one."
Joylyn
tuckervill2@... wrote:
said let's wait until we can do the research on it. I had called my
brother, who has a tongue piercing, and had done some research and
basically found out that for even ears you need to go to a professional,
not some earing store in the mall. About that time one of Lexie's
friend went to get her ears pierced. The child came back with just one
done,c ause it hurt so much. Lexie told me the next day she wants to
wait until she's older.
A few years ago Lexie and I watched a really neat program on tatooing.
It was very intense, showed all sorts of different ways, from modern to
old fashioned. After it was over, I said something like "just makes you
wanna run out and get a tatoo." Lexie laughed and said "no mom, makes
me want to never get one."
Joylyn
tuckervill2@... wrote:
> In a message dated 12/7/2003 8:54:52 AM Central Standard Time,[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> danielle.conger@... writes:
>
>
> > For what it's worth, I used to have my nose pierced. Now that I have
> taken
> > it out, it just looks like a giant pore on the side of my nose. :/ Not
> > really the look I am going for now, you know? lol
> >
>
> ~~~
>
> I know quite a few people with piercings they don't wear anymore, and the
> holes show up obviously. Nose, ears, etc.
>
> I prefer my kids not get piercings, other than earlobes, or tattoos until
> they're old enough to get them legally on their own. I don't ever
> want them to
> have a reason to blame me for a decision they regret ("But Mom! You
> could have
> stopped me!"). Not the greatest motivation in the world, but there it
> is.
> My 10 yo wants his ear pierced because he thinks it looks cool. But his
> friends have been having trouble keeping theirs clean and infection
> free, so he's
> thinking twice.
>
> I have a good friend who's pretty covered in ink and she has a lot of
> warnings about her experiences and the piercings she's seen go wrong.
> She knows
> someone who got a brain infection and died, from an eyebrow piercing.
> You don't
> always have the same outlook on life at 38 that you had at 18. ;)
>
> Tuck
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
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[email protected]
In a message dated 12/7/2003 12:09:35 PM Central Standard Time,
joylyn@... writes:
It was common when I was kid to do earlobes with ice, a potato and a sewing
needle. I don't think professionals will make less scarring than the many many
do-it-yourselfers. I've had earlobes done both ways and one way wasn't any
more painful than the other.
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
joylyn@... writes:
> I had called my~~~
> brother, who has a tongue piercing, and had done some research and
> basically found out that for even ears you need to go to a professional,
> not some earing store in the mall. About that time one of Lexie's
> friend went to get her ears pierced. The child came back with just one
> done,c ause it hurt so much.
It was common when I was kid to do earlobes with ice, a potato and a sewing
needle. I don't think professionals will make less scarring than the many many
do-it-yourselfers. I've had earlobes done both ways and one way wasn't any
more painful than the other.
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/7/03 12:46:16 PM Eastern Standard Time,
jrossedd@... writes:
When my husband was 15, he was with friends who were smoking pot and got
caught. He hadn't been smoking it, but the Christian school he went to gave him a
three-day suspension anyway.
When they all got back, his friends were bemoaning their punishments at home.
"I got grounded for two weeks." "I have to do all the chores around the
house." And so on.
When it was Michael's turn to speak, what could he say? "Uh, my mom bought
me new shoes."
His mom believed him when he told her he didn't smoke it, and she listened
when he said that since he got in trouble for it anyway, next time he was going
to try it. She said, "I trust you. I know you want to experiment. If you
think it's becoming a problem, talk to me so I can help you." And she left it
at that.
For a pastor's daughter that grew up in a conservative Christian church, I
was pretty impressed. My mil is conventional, but she trusts her kids. How
much more can unschoolers do so, when we're together and talking and sharing at
all hours on a daily basis?
The follow-up -- Michael's smoked pot about 5 times in his life.
Peace,
Amy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jrossedd@... writes:
> ingesting mind-altering substances,Funny story --
When my husband was 15, he was with friends who were smoking pot and got
caught. He hadn't been smoking it, but the Christian school he went to gave him a
three-day suspension anyway.
When they all got back, his friends were bemoaning their punishments at home.
"I got grounded for two weeks." "I have to do all the chores around the
house." And so on.
When it was Michael's turn to speak, what could he say? "Uh, my mom bought
me new shoes."
His mom believed him when he told her he didn't smoke it, and she listened
when he said that since he got in trouble for it anyway, next time he was going
to try it. She said, "I trust you. I know you want to experiment. If you
think it's becoming a problem, talk to me so I can help you." And she left it
at that.
For a pastor's daughter that grew up in a conservative Christian church, I
was pretty impressed. My mil is conventional, but she trusts her kids. How
much more can unschoolers do so, when we're together and talking and sharing at
all hours on a daily basis?
The follow-up -- Michael's smoked pot about 5 times in his life.
Peace,
Amy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
joylyn
actually, the problem is the piercing guns, which cannot be sterilized.
tuckervill2@... wrote:
tuckervill2@... wrote:
> In a message dated 12/7/2003 12:09:35 PM Central Standard Time,[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> joylyn@... writes:
>
>
> > I had called my
> > brother, who has a tongue piercing, and had done some research and
> > basically found out that for even ears you need to go to a
> professional,
> > not some earing store in the mall. About that time one of Lexie's
> > friend went to get her ears pierced. The child came back with just one
> > done,c ause it hurt so much.
>
> ~~~
>
> It was common when I was kid to do earlobes with ice, a potato and a
> sewing
> needle. I don't think professionals will make less scarring than the
> many many
> do-it-yourselfers. I've had earlobes done both ways and one way
> wasn't any
> more painful than the other.
>
> Tuck
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> <http://rd.yahoo.com/SIG=12c20cuck/M=259395.3614674.4902533.1261774/D=egroupweb/S=1705081972:HM/EXP=1070909560/A=1524963/R=0/*http://hits.411web.com/cgi-bin/autoredir?camp=556&lineid=3614674&prop=egroupweb&pos=HM>
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> <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
J. Stauffer
<<<< But it seems to me worth mentioning that another extreme to avoid
I can only tell you my take on this. I don't believe that I can truly stop
my kids from doing much of anything. They are resourceful little creatures.
I am interested in them making informed decisions. What I ask of my kids is
that they find out what they are truly talking about before they make
decisions.
Example: Adriane wanted to get her ears pierced a few years ago. She asked
everyone she knew with pierced ears about their experiences, did it hurt?
Was it hard to keep clean? etc., etc.. Then we visited piercing place in
the mall. She checked on price and watched someone get theirs done. She
went home to consider it some more and then a week or so later asked me to
take her to get them pierced.
What more could I ask for? She put more thought and consideration into that
decision than most adults put into getting married or having children.
She just dyed her hair a beautiful cinnamon color for which I received a
tremendous amount of flak from adults we know. Again, she took her time,
tried out a rinse first to make sure she liked it, etc..
Julie S.
> would be a sort of anything-goes tolerance for risky or demonstrablydestructive
> choices, in the name of "unschooling." Where each of us begins to feelthat
> extreme approaching will vary, of course>>>>*********************************************
I can only tell you my take on this. I don't believe that I can truly stop
my kids from doing much of anything. They are resourceful little creatures.
I am interested in them making informed decisions. What I ask of my kids is
that they find out what they are truly talking about before they make
decisions.
Example: Adriane wanted to get her ears pierced a few years ago. She asked
everyone she knew with pierced ears about their experiences, did it hurt?
Was it hard to keep clean? etc., etc.. Then we visited piercing place in
the mall. She checked on price and watched someone get theirs done. She
went home to consider it some more and then a week or so later asked me to
take her to get them pierced.
What more could I ask for? She put more thought and consideration into that
decision than most adults put into getting married or having children.
She just dyed her hair a beautiful cinnamon color for which I received a
tremendous amount of flak from adults we know. Again, she took her time,
tried out a rinse first to make sure she liked it, etc..
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: <jrossedd@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, December 07, 2003 11:45 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] nose piercing!!
> Thinking hard now about "things I personally find psychologically,
> physically and/or spiritually dangerous" and how I'll handle it if (when)
my
> children are seriously drawn to those things.
>
> I agree that not forbidding, not overreacting, and not going to any
> extreme as Sandra wrote in her Balancing column, are important cautions
for
> unschoolers.
>
> . Nose-piercing, tattoos, sexual contact
> with others, ingesting mind-altering substances, handling guns, and
playing
> violent video games all fit into that category for me, when it is my own
> children under 14 in question. Those are some places that the "it's their
body so
> what's the harm?" philosophy seems extreme to me. I think part of my job
in
> protecting and nurturing my children is to first protect them from their
own
> extreme behavior long enough to help them to learn how to handle their own
extreme
> impulses and desires that might do them permanent harm.
>
> Up to now, I had been mainly thinking about how as an unschooler to
> help them handle learning to drive a car on today's highways, but now I
have so
> much more to worry about fitting into our unschooling, things that seem
much
> more "extreme" to me than driving! Gee, thanks, guys! <g> JJ
>
>
>
>
> > Stepheny Cappel <stephc62@...> wrote:
> > I wouldn't say never in this situation. You have to know your kids.
What
> > would happen if you didn't allow them to do something and they were a
strong
> > minded, willed whatever and just decided to do it themselves?
> >
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> To unsubscribe from this send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
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http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
>
>
Cornerstone Community Farm
A little male perspective here.
I'm into lots of alternative things, including Cornerstone Festival
yearly, but a nose piercing turns a perfectly pretty girl into a ....
ugh!
Something you might want to discuss with the girls.
Looks are not as important as the heart, but its hard to get into the
heart when a nose pin stars one in the face!
Keith
I'm into lots of alternative things, including Cornerstone Festival
yearly, but a nose piercing turns a perfectly pretty girl into a ....
ugh!
Something you might want to discuss with the girls.
Looks are not as important as the heart, but its hard to get into the
heart when a nose pin stars one in the face!
Keith
Wife2Vegman
--- "J. Stauffer" <jnjstau@...> wrote:
not, who holds an anything-goes tolerance for risky or
destructive behavior.
Maybe I am naive in my thinking, but I feel most
children do not choose to participate in risky or
self-destructive behavior unless they have been
controlled and manipulated and perhaps physically or
emotionally abused, are rebelling against such
treatment.
I also think that when children are given good
information, they will make right choices because they
desire to be healthy and safe even more than we desire
it for them.
My 14yo daughter recently came to me and told me that
a certain boy had asked her to be his girlfriend. She
knows my own feelings about it, that I would rather
she not get so emotionally involved and that she would
be just good friends with him.
But I explained my own fears about it, that I had
started dating at 13, that I got caught up in the
whole boyfriend-girlfriend dating scene, and I had
lots of instances where I got myself into situations
on dates and ended up doing things I later regretted.
And I also explained the expectations on the part of
each of the people who are "going steady", and how she
might start limiting her friendships with other guys,
start limiting her time with her other friends, etc.
We also talked about the positive things, like how
good it feels that someone has asked, that she feels
special and cared for, that he is a really great kid
and treats her with respect and courtesy.
And we talked about how some of her other friends (and
their parents), who are being raised in rather strict
conservative Christian households may react if she
chooses to tell them.
We talked about alternatives to the
"boyfriend-girlfriend" label, and what she might feel
more comfortable with instead.
I didn't forbid her to do anything, I trusted her to
make good decisions. I just gave her all the
information she needed to do so.
In case you're wondering...they decided to be "special
friends". Sounds like simple symantics, but it also
frees them up somewhat from the pressure of trying to
live up to the definitions that society has placed on
the words "boyfriend" and "girlfriend".
wifetovegman
__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
New Yahoo! Photos - easier uploading and sharing.
http://photos.yahoo.com/
> <<<< But it seems to me worth mentioning thatI don't think I have ever met anyone, unschooler or
> another extreme to avoid
> > would be a sort of anything-goes tolerance for
> risky or demonstrably
> destructive
> > choices, in the name of "unschooling." Where each
> of us begins to feel
> that
> > extreme approaching will vary, of course>>>>
> *********************************************
>
not, who holds an anything-goes tolerance for risky or
destructive behavior.
Maybe I am naive in my thinking, but I feel most
children do not choose to participate in risky or
self-destructive behavior unless they have been
controlled and manipulated and perhaps physically or
emotionally abused, are rebelling against such
treatment.
I also think that when children are given good
information, they will make right choices because they
desire to be healthy and safe even more than we desire
it for them.
My 14yo daughter recently came to me and told me that
a certain boy had asked her to be his girlfriend. She
knows my own feelings about it, that I would rather
she not get so emotionally involved and that she would
be just good friends with him.
But I explained my own fears about it, that I had
started dating at 13, that I got caught up in the
whole boyfriend-girlfriend dating scene, and I had
lots of instances where I got myself into situations
on dates and ended up doing things I later regretted.
And I also explained the expectations on the part of
each of the people who are "going steady", and how she
might start limiting her friendships with other guys,
start limiting her time with her other friends, etc.
We also talked about the positive things, like how
good it feels that someone has asked, that she feels
special and cared for, that he is a really great kid
and treats her with respect and courtesy.
And we talked about how some of her other friends (and
their parents), who are being raised in rather strict
conservative Christian households may react if she
chooses to tell them.
We talked about alternatives to the
"boyfriend-girlfriend" label, and what she might feel
more comfortable with instead.
I didn't forbid her to do anything, I trusted her to
make good decisions. I just gave her all the
information she needed to do so.
In case you're wondering...they decided to be "special
friends". Sounds like simple symantics, but it also
frees them up somewhat from the pressure of trying to
live up to the definitions that society has placed on
the words "boyfriend" and "girlfriend".
wifetovegman
__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
New Yahoo! Photos - easier uploading and sharing.
http://photos.yahoo.com/
Tia Leschke
>Lexie wanted her ears pierced a year or so ago. I was OK with it butAnd we did them with needle and thread and ice cubes for anesthetic. <g>
>said let's wait until we can do the research on it. I had called my
>brother, who has a tongue piercing, and had done some research and
>basically found out that for even ears you need to go to a professional,
>not some earing store in the mall.
Tia
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/7/03 10:47:56 AM, jrossedd@... writes:
<< But it seems to me worth mentioning that another extreme to avoid
would be a sort of anything-goes tolerance for risky or demonstrably
destructive
choices, in the name of "unschooling." Where each of us begins to feel that
extreme approaching will vary, of course. Nose-piercing, tattoos, sexual
contact
with others, ingesting mind-altering substances, handling guns, and playing
violent video games all fit into that category for me, when it is my own
children under 14 in question. >>
Do you really consider playing video games (which are never violent, thought
they might have "violent" subjects, like war, karate kicking, guns) is in the
same category with mind-altering substances or tattoos or having sex?
Drugs are illegal, tattoos are permanent, and sex can cause death or
reproduction or both. A video game is a kid sitting in a chair with a remote control,
not sticking anything into his body--not ink, LSD, other people's parts...
Doesn't seem at all in the same category to me.
<<I think part of my job in
protecting and nurturing my children is to first protect them from their own
extreme behavior long enough to help them to learn how to handle their own
extreme
impulses and desires that might do them permanent harm. >>
My children have not experienced the "extreme behavior" you seem to be
worried about. "Tolerance for risky or demonstrably destructive choices" hasn't
been an issue at our house. I think Kirby had sex a time or two (at the same
camping event) but I know he had condoms because I have them to him when he
seemed in a possible range. It didn't cause him to go sex crazy. It's been
nearly a year, and he was the girls boyfriend (in a way, they went to one movie,
he visited her once and she came over here once) for several weeks and decided
she wasn't really all that nice. No drama, no trauma. If it happened (as I
suspect), she was his first but he wasn't her first.
My choice wasn't "to tolerate" it or not. It seems to have been a done deal.
He talked to me an somewhat vague terms about the situation being serious,
and I talked to him in somewhat less vague terms about birth control, and
condoms not being 100%, and serious relationships needing back-up birth control. He
said "I'll mention that."
When I was his age I was having sex. He's that age and is not (in general
terms).
<<Those are some places that the "it's their body so
what's the harm?" philosophy seems extreme to me. >>
I haven't heard people say "it's their body so what's the harm?"
It IS their body. So help them learn to make choices when it's not so
crucial instead of deciding for them up to the point that they're making their very
first solo choices ever about things like tattoos, drugs, sex, guns, etc.
My kids have been making choices their whole lives, and I don't see them
doing crazy or dangerous or impulsive things.
That pretty much goes against this: "I think part of my job in
protecting and nurturing my children is to first protect them from their own
extreme behavior long enough to help them to learn how to handle their own
extreme
impulses and desires that might do them permanent harm. "
That doesn't mean, though, that I have not protected them, that I haven't
helped them learn, and that I don't care whether they are done permanent harm.
The article on balance is a warning against seeing the world as two extreme
choices, either controlling or "losing control."
<< Up to now, I had been mainly thinking about how as an unschooler to
help them handle learning to drive a car on today's highways, >>
What other highways could they learn on? The past and future are not useable
highways. Here we are, just today. Just now.
Sandra
<< But it seems to me worth mentioning that another extreme to avoid
would be a sort of anything-goes tolerance for risky or demonstrably
destructive
choices, in the name of "unschooling." Where each of us begins to feel that
extreme approaching will vary, of course. Nose-piercing, tattoos, sexual
contact
with others, ingesting mind-altering substances, handling guns, and playing
violent video games all fit into that category for me, when it is my own
children under 14 in question. >>
Do you really consider playing video games (which are never violent, thought
they might have "violent" subjects, like war, karate kicking, guns) is in the
same category with mind-altering substances or tattoos or having sex?
Drugs are illegal, tattoos are permanent, and sex can cause death or
reproduction or both. A video game is a kid sitting in a chair with a remote control,
not sticking anything into his body--not ink, LSD, other people's parts...
Doesn't seem at all in the same category to me.
<<I think part of my job in
protecting and nurturing my children is to first protect them from their own
extreme behavior long enough to help them to learn how to handle their own
extreme
impulses and desires that might do them permanent harm. >>
My children have not experienced the "extreme behavior" you seem to be
worried about. "Tolerance for risky or demonstrably destructive choices" hasn't
been an issue at our house. I think Kirby had sex a time or two (at the same
camping event) but I know he had condoms because I have them to him when he
seemed in a possible range. It didn't cause him to go sex crazy. It's been
nearly a year, and he was the girls boyfriend (in a way, they went to one movie,
he visited her once and she came over here once) for several weeks and decided
she wasn't really all that nice. No drama, no trauma. If it happened (as I
suspect), she was his first but he wasn't her first.
My choice wasn't "to tolerate" it or not. It seems to have been a done deal.
He talked to me an somewhat vague terms about the situation being serious,
and I talked to him in somewhat less vague terms about birth control, and
condoms not being 100%, and serious relationships needing back-up birth control. He
said "I'll mention that."
When I was his age I was having sex. He's that age and is not (in general
terms).
<<Those are some places that the "it's their body so
what's the harm?" philosophy seems extreme to me. >>
I haven't heard people say "it's their body so what's the harm?"
It IS their body. So help them learn to make choices when it's not so
crucial instead of deciding for them up to the point that they're making their very
first solo choices ever about things like tattoos, drugs, sex, guns, etc.
My kids have been making choices their whole lives, and I don't see them
doing crazy or dangerous or impulsive things.
That pretty much goes against this: "I think part of my job in
protecting and nurturing my children is to first protect them from their own
extreme behavior long enough to help them to learn how to handle their own
extreme
impulses and desires that might do them permanent harm. "
That doesn't mean, though, that I have not protected them, that I haven't
helped them learn, and that I don't care whether they are done permanent harm.
The article on balance is a warning against seeing the world as two extreme
choices, either controlling or "losing control."
<< Up to now, I had been mainly thinking about how as an unschooler to
help them handle learning to drive a car on today's highways, >>
What other highways could they learn on? The past and future are not useable
highways. Here we are, just today. Just now.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/7/03 11:55:01 AM, tuckervill2@... writes:
<< It was common when I was kid to do earlobes with ice, a potato and a
sewing
needle. I don't think professionals will make less scarring than the many
many
do-it-yourselfers. I've had earlobes done both ways and one way wasn't any
more painful than the other.
gun was less time consuming.
Sandra
<< It was common when I was kid to do earlobes with ice, a potato and a
sewing
needle. I don't think professionals will make less scarring than the many
many
do-it-yourselfers. I've had earlobes done both ways and one way wasn't any
more painful than the other.
>>I've had home-job and mall-gun. Both seemed equally fine, though the mall
gun was less time consuming.
Sandra
Tia Leschke
>I've never had it done professionally, but the only time it hurt (and it
>It was common when I was kid to do earlobes with ice, a potato and a sewing
>needle. I don't think professionals will make less scarring than the many
>many
>do-it-yourselfers. I've had earlobes done both ways and one way wasn't any
>more painful than the other.
*really* hurt) was when someone tried to pierce through scar tissue from an
older, grown-over piercing. Ouch!
Tia
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/7/03 8:41:53 AM, tuckervill2@... writes:
<< I prefer my kids not get piercings, other than earlobes, or tattoos until
they're old enough to get them legally on their own. I don't ever want them
to
have a reason to blame me for a decision they regret ("But Mom! You could
have
stopped me!"). Not the greatest motivation in the world, but there it is.
It seems a fine motivation to me.
None of my kids have asked for piercings except Holly has single traditional
ear piercings. She's not too thrilled, because she gets infections. Her dad
feels smug because he advised her against it. That seems warning enough
for the boys, but they haven't had the urge.
They're pretty happy with their bodies the way they are.
My adult friends who have tattoos and piercings are generally looking for
something to make them happier.
My kids are about as happy as they could be!
Sandra
<< I prefer my kids not get piercings, other than earlobes, or tattoos until
they're old enough to get them legally on their own. I don't ever want them
to
have a reason to blame me for a decision they regret ("But Mom! You could
have
stopped me!"). Not the greatest motivation in the world, but there it is.
>>I feel the same way.
It seems a fine motivation to me.
None of my kids have asked for piercings except Holly has single traditional
ear piercings. She's not too thrilled, because she gets infections. Her dad
feels smug because he advised her against it. That seems warning enough
for the boys, but they haven't had the urge.
They're pretty happy with their bodies the way they are.
My adult friends who have tattoos and piercings are generally looking for
something to make them happier.
My kids are about as happy as they could be!
Sandra
Tia Leschke
>A little male perspective here.Then again, that's just one male perspective. From the number of couples
>I'm into lots of alternative things, including Cornerstone Festival
>yearly, but a nose piercing turns a perfectly pretty girl into a ....
>ugh!
I've seen with nose piercings I'd say at least some males like the look.
Just like some guys like the Brittany look, and others (luckily my dh) like
the more substantial look.
Tia
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/8/2003 1:00:05 PM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
She's not too thrilled, because she gets infections.
My youngest did too, despite taking very good care of them. Finally someone
told us to make sure she wore nickel free earrings. They also said just
because Claire's or somewhere sells those that claim to be "hypoallergenic" doesn't
mean they are nickel free.
Since she switched she doesn't have any more problems.
glena
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
She's not too thrilled, because she gets infections.
My youngest did too, despite taking very good care of them. Finally someone
told us to make sure she wore nickel free earrings. They also said just
because Claire's or somewhere sells those that claim to be "hypoallergenic" doesn't
mean they are nickel free.
Since she switched she doesn't have any more problems.
glena
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]