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Hi all,

Fisher's grandpa came over today to "do something" with Fisher. Fisher had a
game out (I think it's called a skoelje board, an old Frisian game that this
grandpa had made for him one Christmas) and was enjoying playing and keeping
tracking of his points. Then Grandpa stepped in and started directing the
focus toward the addition and counting -- not very subtly, either. (Grandpa is a
retired math teacher.) While Fisher was excited because he liked how well he
was doing, after several minutes of having the numbers side of it drilled into
him, he was ready to be done. As we were picking up the pucks, Grandpa
started counting them, and Fisher told him firmly, "No more counting!" I supported
Fisher by just making sure he was heard ("No more counting -- okay.") but
otherwise let him speak for himself. I don't know if I should speak to Grandpa
about it more, but I was proud of Fisher.

He seems to really get that we're unschooling and that means nobody gets to
tell him what to do. The other day I was trying to get a picture with him and
Riley, and was telling him where to move, to put his arm down, etc. Finally
he'd had enough and said, "No -- we're unschooling, and I should get to do it
how I want." I had to agree that it wasn't working the way we'd been trying,
so I followed his lead -- it worked great!

Thanks for reading -- just needed to share with those who would understand.

Peace,
Amy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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In a message dated 12/5/03 4:12:07 AM, arcarpenter@... writes:

<< The other day I was trying to get a picture with him and
Riley, and was telling him where to move, to put his arm down, etc. Finally
he'd had enough and said, "No -- we're unschooling, and I should get to do it
how I want." I had to agree that it wasn't working the way we'd been trying,
so I followed his lead -- it worked great! >>

If you wanted to take a picture a certain way and since photos cost money
(unless it was a digital camera in which case I withdraw that objection) I don't
see a problem with you asking him to position himself however will work for
your piece of art. There are candid snapshots and there are posed photos, and
if someone agrees to be in a posed photo then there are obligations (slight
but real).

If he were photographing you and wanted you to stand or sit or smile or go
profile, wouldn't you consider it?

On the other hand, lots of times when we take photos for a purpose and
there's posing involved we'll discuss what would be good for background and
composition and that and decide together.

Sandra

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In a message dated 12/5/03 11:26:44 AM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
> I don't
> see a problem with you asking him to position himself however will work for
> your piece of art. There are candid snapshots and there are posed photos,
> and
> if someone agrees to be in a posed photo then there are obligations (slight
> but real).

It's one of those cases where the lines are a little fuzzy. I had asked him
to be in the photo because it was for our Christmas cards, so I was willing to
work with him rather than risk him saying "no thanks". His little brother
was alternately grabbing at him and rolling away, and I had a dark sheet out
that I needed them both to stay in the middle of. Once we just stuck to the
"stay in the middle of the sheet, do what you want, and I'll move Riley to match
you," it worked great, and I got a very nice shot for cards.

Good point, though.

Peace,
Amy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

kayb85

> If you wanted to take a picture a certain way and since photos cost
money
> (unless it was a digital camera in which case I withdraw that
objection) I don't
> see a problem with you asking him to position himself however will
work for
> your piece of art. There are candid snapshots and there are posed
photos, and
> if someone agrees to be in a posed photo then there are obligations
(slight
> but real).


I kind of lean toward the person being photographed having more of a
say in how the picture goes. The picture is capturing them and will
probably live on after they do, helping people to remember him and
formulate opinions of who he was at different ages. So letting a
person be Who They Are in a photo is pretty important I think.

Sheila