Elizabeth Roberts

It hit me today that while we've really spent most of the past year somewhat unschooling, we're still in the "de-schooling" process...especially since during that time I was still trying to force some academics in as much as I could...I'm learning to let go, learning to stop it...but it isn't exactly the easiest process. I worry so much about Sarah (or the other children) coming to me later on in life and saying that they totally regret not having had 1) the public school experience "everyone else" did or 2) that they really wish I'd taught them a, b, or c ... sigh!

I keep trying to remind myself of what's truly important in life, rather than important in the very limited world of government education. I keep telling myself that they will be just fine in the long run and so much happier for this way of life.

The other day we had a long power outage, about an hour and a half. During it we had an interesting discussion about how people lived before electricity, and how much the world has changed since then and if it's a good thing or a bad thing and I was surprised at how astute some of Sarah's observations were. She said it's easier to be a family without all the modern things that distract us from spending time with each other.

Not that she or I want to change our lives drastically, but it was also I think a "spend more time with me" moment too.

ANYWAY..I know that I'm rambling..I just wanted to share my thoughts with others who understand. Sometimes I feel rather lonely because I don't know anyone else who unschools in my area.

MamaBeth


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Melanie Freisinger deGonzalez

Elizabeth Roberts <mamabethuscg@...> wrote:

< She said it's easier to be a family without all the modern things that distract us from spending time with each other>


I really agree with this ! We lived for awhile where the lights went out once/twice a week. We'd get out candles and play Clue in the candlelite. Good memories....

Where do you live Elizabeth?

melanie





"Nature is the living, visible garment of God."
Goethe

















[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/3/03 9:23:58 AM, mamabethuscg@... writes:

<< It hit me today that while we've really spent most of the past year
somewhat unschooling, we're still in the "de-schooling" process...especially since
during that time I was still trying to force some academics in as much as I
could >>

I don't think the deschooling starts until AFTER you stop trying to force
academics in.

<<The other day we had a long power outage, about an hour and a half. During
it we had an interesting discussion about how people lived before electricity,
and how much the world has changed since then and if it's a good thing or a
bad thing and I was surprised at how astute some of Sarah's observations were.
She said it's easier to be a family without all the modern things that
distract us from spending time with each other. >>

Maybe it would help to be in more unusual circumstances, then. Go to other
places. Hike. Camp. Go to lunch at some family restaurant in a nearby town
and sit extra long, if it's not crowded.

http://sandradodd.com/truck

That article is called "Leaning on a Truck," and it's about ways to set up
easy, quiet little situations in which people can talk for a long time without
feeling like they're "having a talk."

Sandra

Dawn Adams

Elisabeth writes:
>The other day we had a long power outage, about an hour and a half

I had to laugh at that. :) Our power was out for 4 days at the beginning of October because of Hurricane Juan, the In-Laws were without power for a week and a half. It was something else. Neighbours were out, children playing, the nieghbourhood smelled wonderful with everyone using the barbques....sigh, I almost miss it. Almost...4 days was just right.

Dawn (Who lost a couple of small trees and had her big Balsam Poplar severly trimmed in the storm)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Crystal

I worry so much about Sarah (or the other children) coming to me later
on in life and saying that they totally regret not having had 1) the
public school experience "everyone else" did or 2) that they really
wish I'd taught them a, b, or c ... sigh!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wasn't it Sandra's Marty who said that every unschooled kid should
attend a conference to see what unschooling is really about? I would
bet that once your kids attend the conference in August, they won't
have the doubts you fear they will because they will know more about
what you are trying to do for them. Erica came with me last year and
she can discuss the unschooling philosophy with the best of them.
She also confessed to me that she sometimes goes to unschooling.com
to see what people write about. She knows there are other ways of
doing things but she likes the unschooling way.

Crystal

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/3/03 5:21:42 PM, crystal.pina@... writes:

<< Wasn't it Sandra's Marty who said that every unschooled kid should

attend a conference to see what unschooling is really about? >>

Yep.

Holly's talking about going to school next year, for a while, to see what
it's like. I told her I couldn't stand to talk about every day between now and
September, that it would ruin a year of my life. She tends to go back and
forth and back and forth and BACK and forth about stuff, all aloud, at the oddest
hours. She did want braces, definitely, no not yet, yes but later, maybe not,
YES, should've started sooner (and so forth).

So she says she wants to go to school but she doesn't intend to do any
homework. And when she finds out what it's like she'll come home. Unless she's
having fun.

Theoretically I'm willing to let her go. There are side issues, though, and
one is my serious reluctance to plan on it and do anything toward it just to
have her say, "No, I changed my mind, I don't want to go," and then a week or
four hours later, "I really did want to go, I should go."

Sandra

Tia Leschke

>
>
>Holly's talking about going to school next year, for a while, to see what
>it's like. I told her I couldn't stand to talk about every day between
>now and
>September, that it would ruin a year of my life. She tends to go back and
>forth and back and forth and BACK and forth about stuff, all aloud, at the
>oddest
>hours. She did want braces, definitely, no not yet, yes but later, maybe
>not,
>YES, should've started sooner (and so forth).

Sounds like Lars. He has a heck of a time making decisions of any kind. He
hates to eliminate any of the options by making a decision, so he keeps it
open as long as he can.
Tia

Elizabeth Roberts

Cape Cod

Melanie Freisinger deGonzalez <gonzalezpalace5@...> wrote:Elizabeth Roberts <mamabethuscg@...> wrote:

< She said it's easier to be a family without all the modern things that distract us from spending time with each other>


I really agree with this ! We lived for awhile where the lights went out once/twice a week. We'd get out candles and play Clue in the candlelite. Good memories....

Where do you live Elizabeth?

melanie





"Nature is the living, visible garment of God."
Goethe

















[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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Elizabeth Roberts

Sandra,

Thanks..I have read that article..all of the ones you've written actually. I'm learning...

MamaBeth

SandraDodd@... wrote:

In a message dated 12/3/03 9:23:58 AM, mamabethuscg@... writes:

<< It hit me today that while we've really spent most of the past year
somewhat unschooling, we're still in the "de-schooling" process...especially since
during that time I was still trying to force some academics in as much as I
could >>

I don't think the deschooling starts until AFTER you stop trying to force
academics in.

<<The other day we had a long power outage, about an hour and a half. During
it we had an interesting discussion about how people lived before electricity,
and how much the world has changed since then and if it's a good thing or a
bad thing and I was surprised at how astute some of Sarah's observations were.
She said it's easier to be a family without all the modern things that
distract us from spending time with each other. >>

Maybe it would help to be in more unusual circumstances, then. Go to other
places. Hike. Camp. Go to lunch at some family restaurant in a nearby town
and sit extra long, if it's not crowded.

http://sandradodd.com/truck

That article is called "Leaning on a Truck," and it's about ways to set up
easy, quiet little situations in which people can talk for a long time without
feeling like they're "having a talk."

Sandra

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Elizabeth Roberts

Crystal,

I've already brought up the convention next year to Sarah and she is very excited about it. I'm going to see if maybe we can't set aside the money for it and staying in a hotel and everything when we get our tax return...

MamaBeth

Crystal <crystal.pina@...> wrote:
I worry so much about Sarah (or the other children) coming to me later
on in life and saying that they totally regret not having had 1) the
public school experience "everyone else" did or 2) that they really
wish I'd taught them a, b, or c ... sigh!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wasn't it Sandra's Marty who said that every unschooled kid should
attend a conference to see what unschooling is really about? I would
bet that once your kids attend the conference in August, they won't
have the doubts you fear they will because they will know more about
what you are trying to do for them. Erica came with me last year and
she can discuss the unschooling philosophy with the best of them.
She also confessed to me that she sometimes goes to unschooling.com
to see what people write about. She knows there are other ways of
doing things but she likes the unschooling way.

Crystal


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evelyns92

--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:


> I don't think the deschooling starts until AFTER you stop trying to
force
> academics in.

I am finally understanding this more and more in my quest
to "educate" with freedom and lack of worry about what we SHOULD be
doing. Yesterday we passed a school bus and my 11 yr. old daughter
said to me "I am so lucky." I almost drove off the road.

I have stopped saying we "should" be doing this or that after one day
a few weeks ago my daughter said "I hate school work!" I have
finally realized how much she does on her own, in her own time frame,
suiting her own interests (usually about horses)in research at the
library or on the computer, reading how-to and fiction books,
drawing horses, etc. So I have given "IT" a rest. I know we are all
different but for those of you who have been doing this for awhile,
how long did it take you to relax and go with the flow? I am
assuming it will get easier as time goes on, especially if I keep
listening to her. Thanks for your input. Sara

J. Stauffer

<<how long did it take you to relax and go with the flow?>>

Probably a year or so....and my kids were only in school about a year and we
did curriculum for less than a semester.

Now about 4 years into the process, worries about academics are the farthest
thing from my mind. I worry about more important stuff, stuff I didn't seem
to have time to worry about before....like the people in the family treating
each other with respect and dignity, about relationships being 2 way deals,
etc..

Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "evelyns92" <evelynsfarm@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, December 04, 2003 12:16 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: learning to let go/deschooling...


> --- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
>
> > I don't think the deschooling starts until AFTER you stop trying to
> force
> > academics in.
>
> I am finally understanding this more and more in my quest
> to "educate" with freedom and lack of worry about what we SHOULD be
> doing. Yesterday we passed a school bus and my 11 yr. old daughter
> said to me "I am so lucky." I almost drove off the road.
>
> I have stopped saying we "should" be doing this or that after one day
> a few weeks ago my daughter said "I hate school work!" I have
> finally realized how much she does on her own, in her own time frame,
> suiting her own interests (usually about horses)in research at the
> library or on the computer, reading how-to and fiction books,
> drawing horses, etc. So I have given "IT" a rest. I know we are all
> different but for those of you who have been doing this for awhile,
> how long did it take you to relax and go with the flow? I am
> assuming it will get easier as time goes on, especially if I keep
> listening to her. Thanks for your input. Sara
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> To unsubscribe from this send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
>
>

Tia Leschke

>
>
>Now about 4 years into the process, worries about academics are the farthest
>thing from my mind. I worry about more important stuff, stuff I didn't seem
>to have time to worry about before....like the people in the family treating
>each other with respect and dignity, about relationships being 2 way deals,
>etc..

Well said! I love it.
Tia

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/4/03 11:16:58 AM, evelynsfarm@... writes:

<< I know we are all

different but for those of you who have been doing this for awhile,

how long did it take you to relax and go with the flow? >>

I started off unschooling with kids who hadn't been to school, and there were
still layers of deschooling for me. Overall, it takes years, but until you
get one layer off (onion-style) you can't start on the next one. Stalling
never helps. <g>

If you were to go a whole year with absolutely nothing schoolish and you
found that didn't work, you could add in schoolish stuff. (I bet you would never
go back, but for the sake of the argument, say you lived a TRULY clean solid
unschooling year...)

But if you never go a whole year, you can't go a second year.

Sandra

crystal.pina

Beth, consider this an invitation. Gather the kids in the car soon, drive a
couple hours north, and come to Salem for a couple days. We'll kick Julian
out of his room and you can stay here. We'll do some fun things and we can
talk
about unshooling and you and your kids can meet Julian and see how
unschooled kids turn out.
Kathryn
********************************

Are we invited too?

Crystal

Elizabeth Roberts

Sara,

We're in our second year of homeschooling. We've bounced back and forth between school at home and unschooling quite a few times in that period. It's only been about a week since I truly stopped trying to force academics in. It's not easy for me, but I'm getting there. One thing that's helping me to learn to let go is keeping a journal of what we're doing and my thoughts on the issue as well as just reading everything I can find about children and how they learn, etc.

If you'd like to follow my online journal it's at http://www.upsaid.com/mamabeth older archives are at http://www.homeschoolodyssey.blogspot.com

MamaBeth

evelyns92 <evelynsfarm@...> wrote:
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:


> I don't think the deschooling starts until AFTER you stop trying to
force
> academics in.

I am finally understanding this more and more in my quest
to "educate" with freedom and lack of worry about what we SHOULD be
doing. Yesterday we passed a school bus and my 11 yr. old daughter
said to me "I am so lucky." I almost drove off the road.

I have stopped saying we "should" be doing this or that after one day
a few weeks ago my daughter said "I hate school work!" I have
finally realized how much she does on her own, in her own time frame,
suiting her own interests (usually about horses)in research at the
library or on the computer, reading how-to and fiction books,
drawing horses, etc. So I have given "IT" a rest. I know we are all
different but for those of you who have been doing this for awhile,
how long did it take you to relax and go with the flow? I am
assuming it will get easier as time goes on, especially if I keep
listening to her. Thanks for your input. Sara



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---------------------------------
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evelyns92

--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> I started off unschooling with kids who hadn't been to school, and
there were
> still layers of deschooling for me. Overall, it takes years, but
until you
> get one layer off (onion-style) you can't start on the next one.

Good visual! My daughter has never been to "school" but we were in a
home school charter for awhile. It turned into more of a government
run public school with all of the requirements and accountability
issues. . . .that is why I filed a R4 here in Ca.in 2002. So one
HUGE layer was peeled off last year and little bits are peeling every
day. Thanks