Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Digest Number 4233
Ren
" Both my hubbie and I come
from a conservative Christian background (think Mennonite/Amish--
with the whole skirts and head coverings rules)."
I did too. Except for the head covering thing. Some of the ideas here challenged me immensely, but the stories about real families and what was actually happening brought it all to light.
We're a unit now, a group of people that work together for the good of all. Dh and I have more experience on this earth and are responsible to understand child development and capabilities. Not in order to limit them, but in order to circumvent potential disaster (which is what I think you may be looking at).
If I can't find a way for my children to do the thing they want/desire safely, then I explain why. They are reasonable human beings that care about my desires too...most of the time.:)
We do have a greater understanding of the world and how it operates than our children do. We have more experiences to draw on to help us predict potential outcomes. It's our job to help them navigate those rough waters, not on their own to find out the consequences the hard way every time (life will bring enough of that) nor to never let them feel natural consequences of their actions. It's that balance Sandra was talking about, that middle ground.
Why would I let my children continue on a path I know is sure to bring unhappiness when there is a simple solution? I wouldn't let dh open gifts before I was reading to give it to him, so I don't have a problem not letting my children. Although it really hasn't been an issue for us, because we do advent calenders every year and I try to have inexpensive (dollar store usually) wrapped gifts under the tree for the entire week before Christmas.
Since we started doing a weeklong present opening, it really helped take the edge off for my children. There are ways to give them that joy and excitement without ruining tradition and ceremony. Which I dearly love....
Ren
from a conservative Christian background (think Mennonite/Amish--
with the whole skirts and head coverings rules)."
I did too. Except for the head covering thing. Some of the ideas here challenged me immensely, but the stories about real families and what was actually happening brought it all to light.
We're a unit now, a group of people that work together for the good of all. Dh and I have more experience on this earth and are responsible to understand child development and capabilities. Not in order to limit them, but in order to circumvent potential disaster (which is what I think you may be looking at).
If I can't find a way for my children to do the thing they want/desire safely, then I explain why. They are reasonable human beings that care about my desires too...most of the time.:)
We do have a greater understanding of the world and how it operates than our children do. We have more experiences to draw on to help us predict potential outcomes. It's our job to help them navigate those rough waters, not on their own to find out the consequences the hard way every time (life will bring enough of that) nor to never let them feel natural consequences of their actions. It's that balance Sandra was talking about, that middle ground.
Why would I let my children continue on a path I know is sure to bring unhappiness when there is a simple solution? I wouldn't let dh open gifts before I was reading to give it to him, so I don't have a problem not letting my children. Although it really hasn't been an issue for us, because we do advent calenders every year and I try to have inexpensive (dollar store usually) wrapped gifts under the tree for the entire week before Christmas.
Since we started doing a weeklong present opening, it really helped take the edge off for my children. There are ways to give them that joy and excitement without ruining tradition and ceremony. Which I dearly love....
Ren