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In a message dated 11/26/03 7:01:23 PM, starsuncloud@... writes:

<< Never telling another human I love what to do or not do isn't my goal.
Respecting their wishes and desires IS. But if someone wants to do something that
bothers another person I will ask them to stop, and if they choose to
continue a harmful behavior I will TELL them to stop. >>

Me too.

I had an example of telling someone to do something two nights ago. I was
sleeping in a reclining-chair-end of a couch ("Kirby's couch" which he got for
helping some people move), and Holy was sleeping next to me on the rest of the
couch. I have pneumonia/bronchitis/something nasty and couldn't sleep lying
down for a couple of nights). Marty had been upstairs in Kirby's room on the
computer. I woke up when he was coming downstairs, and he was turning lights
off in the kitchen and such up there, and when he got to his room he hadn't
turned off the light on the stairs, and it wasn't RIGHT in my face, but it was
bright. I said "Marty, turn the light off on the stairs."

I didn't ask him nicely, I just told him. I didn't say it mean, and I
didn't say it loudly because I didn't want to wake Holly up. I didn't add extra
words for the same reason.

He said "I'd rather leave it on."

Oh yeah. That's his nightlight. He leaves the door to his room open, and
that light on the stairs makes light on the wall he sees from his bed. I had
forgotten, for a minute.

I said "Okay," and I turned over the other way a little and went back to
sleep.

It's not that I couldn't go to sleep with it on. I had gone to sleep before
with a big fire in the fireplace, Totoro on TV, and that light on on the
stairs.

And I was the one sleeping in "the wrong place." I have a darker room. So
being more in Marty's territory, I let him make that call.

Sandra