Help, I slapped.
Gary m and Mary Anne Taylor
Shan,
I too had a child who was very persistent and reacted badly to being left alone during tantrums. Somehow we got through but there were many times I wished for more wisdom. A few years ago I noticed a book that came out in 1999 (she was 10 by then, so too late) called Time In: When time Out Doesn't Work by Jean Illsley Clarke. I can't recommend a book that I haven't read, but think I will try to get it from the library and read it. The La Leche League review says: '.....stresses the competence of both adults and children and reinforces their connectedness.'
The title intrigues me- maybe it would help you (and your son) to at least know that time out maybe isn't for everyone.....
Mary T.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I too had a child who was very persistent and reacted badly to being left alone during tantrums. Somehow we got through but there were many times I wished for more wisdom. A few years ago I noticed a book that came out in 1999 (she was 10 by then, so too late) called Time In: When time Out Doesn't Work by Jean Illsley Clarke. I can't recommend a book that I haven't read, but think I will try to get it from the library and read it. The La Leche League review says: '.....stresses the competence of both adults and children and reinforces their connectedness.'
The title intrigues me- maybe it would help you (and your son) to at least know that time out maybe isn't for everyone.....
Mary T.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Shannon
Good idea, I'll check it out. Thanks!
Shan
-----Original Message-----
From: Mary.
Shan,
I too had a child who was very persistent and reacted badly to being left
alone during tantrums. Somehow we got through but there were many times I
wished for more wisdom. A few years ago I noticed a book that came out in
1999 (she was 10 by then, so too late) called Time In: When time Out Doesn't
Work by Jean Illsley Clarke. I can't recommend a book that I haven't read,
but think I will try to get it from the library and read it. The La Leche
League review says: '.....stresses the competence of both adults and
children and reinforces their connectedness.'
The title intrigues me- maybe it would help you (and your son) to at least
know that time out maybe isn't for everyone.....
Mary T.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Shan
-----Original Message-----
From: Mary.
Shan,
I too had a child who was very persistent and reacted badly to being left
alone during tantrums. Somehow we got through but there were many times I
wished for more wisdom. A few years ago I noticed a book that came out in
1999 (she was 10 by then, so too late) called Time In: When time Out Doesn't
Work by Jean Illsley Clarke. I can't recommend a book that I haven't read,
but think I will try to get it from the library and read it. The La Leche
League review says: '.....stresses the competence of both adults and
children and reinforces their connectedness.'
The title intrigues me- maybe it would help you (and your son) to at least
know that time out maybe isn't for everyone.....
Mary T.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sara
When I first started time out, I used it as break in the action or
anger(mine). I never sent my child away; I was normally right there
in the room. Very quickly I learned that having him control his
actual time worked much better than a set time. I said to him...."get
up when you think you can act, sound, or feel better." I wanted him
to never dread his room or the place where he chose to have a time
out. I felt that time out was good for him because we used the time
for his comfort as well as my anger. (When he was little, I probably
terrified him. But he never seemed scared, just mad at everything.)
When he got older, he went to his room on his own. I never tried to
restrict what he did there and he would stay for quite a while
sometimes just thinking and playing.
Somewhere along the line after he heard himself and I think because
he was just growing up too, he started apologizing. Maybe it was
because I would apologize to him for not being able to deal with his
tone. At that time, time outs just kinda stopped and even though he
still got nasty sounding, I wasn't so mad.
The "time in" books sounds like a nessesary read for me. I've a
grandson just born and I'm sure I'll get him sooner than I think.
(They are overseas right now.) Does or has anyone else used time outs
and how have they evolved for you? Sara in NC
anger(mine). I never sent my child away; I was normally right there
in the room. Very quickly I learned that having him control his
actual time worked much better than a set time. I said to him...."get
up when you think you can act, sound, or feel better." I wanted him
to never dread his room or the place where he chose to have a time
out. I felt that time out was good for him because we used the time
for his comfort as well as my anger. (When he was little, I probably
terrified him. But he never seemed scared, just mad at everything.)
When he got older, he went to his room on his own. I never tried to
restrict what he did there and he would stay for quite a while
sometimes just thinking and playing.
Somewhere along the line after he heard himself and I think because
he was just growing up too, he started apologizing. Maybe it was
because I would apologize to him for not being able to deal with his
tone. At that time, time outs just kinda stopped and even though he
still got nasty sounding, I wasn't so mad.
The "time in" books sounds like a nessesary read for me. I've a
grandson just born and I'm sure I'll get him sooner than I think.
(They are overseas right now.) Does or has anyone else used time outs
and how have they evolved for you? Sara in NC