Sleep Disturbances in 8yrold
[email protected]
Hi all, wanted to know if anyone has any experience with sleep disturbances
in children.My ds is 8, slept in our bed since day 1, nursed till 5.5yrs, still
sleeps inour room in his own bed. We had to move him away from our bed at 6
yrs for fear of him rolling on the new sister. He is a big boy, 5feet tall, and
I would say highly sensitive.
Sleeping has always been hard for him unless I am right there withhim.
We have been trying to get to a place where he makes the decision about when
to go to bed, but he is so scared to go by himself that he will stay up with
me until all hours, then get up early the next day and make the day awful for
all the family.
Lately, he will go to bed, fall asleep immediately, then 10 mins later jolt
awake and call for me, crying that he can't sleep. I will tell him it's ok, he
goes back to sleep, then again, 10mins later he is awake again. He tells me he
hates this. He has thoughts of robbers, the house burning down, something
happening to me or his dad, lots of anxieties.
I am getting frustrated and angry, yet I know he is very miserable and wants
to sleep. I really need some kind words in his defense, I don't want to be
mean I want to be understanding and help him through this.
I think the anxiety thing started when I broke my arm in late July, it has
been a very long road to healing, not yet finished, and it seems as though he is
worried about me because he can see that I can be hurt.
Sorry for rambling,
TIA
Nancy huddling in the cold in BC,waving to Dawn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
in children.My ds is 8, slept in our bed since day 1, nursed till 5.5yrs, still
sleeps inour room in his own bed. We had to move him away from our bed at 6
yrs for fear of him rolling on the new sister. He is a big boy, 5feet tall, and
I would say highly sensitive.
Sleeping has always been hard for him unless I am right there withhim.
We have been trying to get to a place where he makes the decision about when
to go to bed, but he is so scared to go by himself that he will stay up with
me until all hours, then get up early the next day and make the day awful for
all the family.
Lately, he will go to bed, fall asleep immediately, then 10 mins later jolt
awake and call for me, crying that he can't sleep. I will tell him it's ok, he
goes back to sleep, then again, 10mins later he is awake again. He tells me he
hates this. He has thoughts of robbers, the house burning down, something
happening to me or his dad, lots of anxieties.
I am getting frustrated and angry, yet I know he is very miserable and wants
to sleep. I really need some kind words in his defense, I don't want to be
mean I want to be understanding and help him through this.
I think the anxiety thing started when I broke my arm in late July, it has
been a very long road to healing, not yet finished, and it seems as though he is
worried about me because he can see that I can be hurt.
Sorry for rambling,
TIA
Nancy huddling in the cold in BC,waving to Dawn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/22/03 12:53:59 AM, LOWRIEK@... writes:
<< Sleeping has always been hard for him unless I am right there withhim.
We have been trying to get to a place where he makes the decision about when
to go to bed, but he is so scared to go by himself that he will stay up with
me until all hours, then get up early the next day and make the day awful for
all the family. >>
Have you tried soothing music, or a white-noise machine (to sound like water
running or rain or some such)? It might be worth the money.
Marty used to have some sleeping trouble. There was a slow tape about The
Circus which I think had been designed for drawing along to, so it went slowly.
He would listen to that. I doubt he ever heard it to the end, but it was
soothing and the voice was comforting. I had a celtic music tape, with names of
songs like "rain" and "forest" and such. Kind of nondescript new-age stuff.
"A massage tape."
Can he sleep in the same room where you're working? Some kitchens are big eno
ugh for a bed in the corner, or under the table. Can he sleep on the floor
near you when you're on the computer, or maybe on the couch in the living room
or den?
Each of my kids went through at least one phase of fearfulness about the
realities of the world. They would ask more questions about death and
abandonment, and seem afraid of strangers for a while, and then they came to another
level of maturity and it was gone.
The same way some kids fill out a while and then get tall and thinner, and
then fill out again, it seems some kids grow in understanding and emotional
abilities, and then they grow more in awareness of things outside so they're "tall
and thin" intellectually, and then they fill out again emotionally.
Sandra
<< Sleeping has always been hard for him unless I am right there withhim.
We have been trying to get to a place where he makes the decision about when
to go to bed, but he is so scared to go by himself that he will stay up with
me until all hours, then get up early the next day and make the day awful for
all the family. >>
Have you tried soothing music, or a white-noise machine (to sound like water
running or rain or some such)? It might be worth the money.
Marty used to have some sleeping trouble. There was a slow tape about The
Circus which I think had been designed for drawing along to, so it went slowly.
He would listen to that. I doubt he ever heard it to the end, but it was
soothing and the voice was comforting. I had a celtic music tape, with names of
songs like "rain" and "forest" and such. Kind of nondescript new-age stuff.
"A massage tape."
Can he sleep in the same room where you're working? Some kitchens are big eno
ugh for a bed in the corner, or under the table. Can he sleep on the floor
near you when you're on the computer, or maybe on the couch in the living room
or den?
Each of my kids went through at least one phase of fearfulness about the
realities of the world. They would ask more questions about death and
abandonment, and seem afraid of strangers for a while, and then they came to another
level of maturity and it was gone.
The same way some kids fill out a while and then get tall and thinner, and
then fill out again, it seems some kids grow in understanding and emotional
abilities, and then they grow more in awareness of things outside so they're "tall
and thin" intellectually, and then they fill out again emotionally.
Sandra
Deborah Lewis
***Sleeping has always been hard for him unless I am right there with
him.***
I think it's really normal for kids that age to have anxiety about being
alone. It doesn't last forever.
Dylan didn't want to sleep alone when he was eight either. We moved
into this house when he was seven. The bedroom is a small, open loft
upstairs and he was still regularly sleeping with us at the time. He
couldn't go to bed without one of us. He thought big prehistoric birds
would come out of the walls and peck him.
That idea stirred in him, I think, because that summer we had a Starling
wiggle through the vent and nest in our attic. We could hear her and her
chicks peeping and scrambling around.
I think he was ten before he was really comfortable with the idea of
being asleep upstairs without someone else up there.
***I know he is very miserable and wants to sleep. ***
We got one of those little kid tents, just big enough for a mat and
little nest of blankets and put it in the living room in the evening.
When he was feeling sleepy he would go in there and it was cozy and he
could watch TV until he fell asleep. We'd wake him when we went up to
bed. Sometimes he'd just sleep on the sofa until we all went upstairs,
but he did like having the little tent, and I think it helped him get
used to being alone without really being alone. And those little tents
pop up or down so fast it doesn't have to be up in the daytime if it's in
the way.
He can sleep anywhere these days. He has his own bed upstairs and can be
up there, and even in the little rooms under the eves by himself, without
being afraid.
***I don't want to be mean I want to be understanding and help him
through this.***
We know that! <g> And he doesn't want to be afraid, or have you
frustrated with him. He really can't help it. Finding a place where he
feels safe and can fall asleep will make you both feel better.
How is your arm these days? Are you still eating plenty of medicinal
chocolate?<g>
Deb L, in Montana where it's six degrees and snowing! Finally, we get to
go sledding!!!
him.***
I think it's really normal for kids that age to have anxiety about being
alone. It doesn't last forever.
Dylan didn't want to sleep alone when he was eight either. We moved
into this house when he was seven. The bedroom is a small, open loft
upstairs and he was still regularly sleeping with us at the time. He
couldn't go to bed without one of us. He thought big prehistoric birds
would come out of the walls and peck him.
That idea stirred in him, I think, because that summer we had a Starling
wiggle through the vent and nest in our attic. We could hear her and her
chicks peeping and scrambling around.
I think he was ten before he was really comfortable with the idea of
being asleep upstairs without someone else up there.
***I know he is very miserable and wants to sleep. ***
We got one of those little kid tents, just big enough for a mat and
little nest of blankets and put it in the living room in the evening.
When he was feeling sleepy he would go in there and it was cozy and he
could watch TV until he fell asleep. We'd wake him when we went up to
bed. Sometimes he'd just sleep on the sofa until we all went upstairs,
but he did like having the little tent, and I think it helped him get
used to being alone without really being alone. And those little tents
pop up or down so fast it doesn't have to be up in the daytime if it's in
the way.
He can sleep anywhere these days. He has his own bed upstairs and can be
up there, and even in the little rooms under the eves by himself, without
being afraid.
***I don't want to be mean I want to be understanding and help him
through this.***
We know that! <g> And he doesn't want to be afraid, or have you
frustrated with him. He really can't help it. Finding a place where he
feels safe and can fall asleep will make you both feel better.
How is your arm these days? Are you still eating plenty of medicinal
chocolate?<g>
Deb L, in Montana where it's six degrees and snowing! Finally, we get to
go sledding!!!
Deborah Lewis
***Have you tried soothing music, or a white-noise machine (to sound like
water
running or rain or some such)? It might be worth the money.***
Dylan loved the Jim Weiss tapes "Good Night" and "Sweet Dreams". He
will still listen to them sometimes.
He has a Peter, Paul and Mary tape he likes to fall asleep with.
Deb L
water
running or rain or some such)? It might be worth the money.***
Dylan loved the Jim Weiss tapes "Good Night" and "Sweet Dreams". He
will still listen to them sometimes.
He has a Peter, Paul and Mary tape he likes to fall asleep with.
Deb L
[email protected]
In a message dated 22/11/2003 04:46:29 Pacific Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
just have to let go of my attachment to him going to bed so I can have an hour
alone. I am a parent, perhaps I just have to work harder ot embrace that 24hrs a
day!?
Your post was very comforting.
Nancy, breathing in BC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> Can he sleep in the same room where you're working? Some kitchens are bigThanks Sandra, he was sleeping on the couch when I was posting. I think I
> eno
> ugh for a bed in the corner, or under the table. Can he sleep on the floor
>
> near you when you're on the computer, or maybe on the couch in the living
> room
> or den?
>
just have to let go of my attachment to him going to bed so I can have an hour
alone. I am a parent, perhaps I just have to work harder ot embrace that 24hrs a
day!?
Your post was very comforting.
Nancy, breathing in BC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 22/11/2003 04:58:04 Pacific Standard Time,
ddzimlew@... writes:
to ride my new horse!!!!!!!!!!! I am eating Lindt Chocolate Pumpkins as we
speak.
Thanks for your post, it really was what I needed to hear to help Tommy. As
for the tent, we have one from Ikea, but he doesn't fit in it anymore!!!
We also have a loft, but he is frightened to be in it. I think the couch is a
good idea, and that is where he was when I posted. mmust learn to curb my
frustration as it is my problem not his.
Thanks
Nancy in BC, with a little bit of snow.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ddzimlew@... writes:
> How is your arm these days? Are you still eating plenty of medicinalI go for x-rays on Wed, hopefully it will be healed this time!!! I am aching
> chocolate?<g>
>
to ride my new horse!!!!!!!!!!! I am eating Lindt Chocolate Pumpkins as we
speak.
Thanks for your post, it really was what I needed to hear to help Tommy. As
for the tent, we have one from Ikea, but he doesn't fit in it anymore!!!
We also have a loft, but he is frightened to be in it. I think the couch is a
good idea, and that is where he was when I posted. mmust learn to curb my
frustration as it is my problem not his.
Thanks
Nancy in BC, with a little bit of snow.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
zenmomma2kids
>> ***Have you tried soothing music, or a white-noise machine (tosound like water running or rain or some such)? It might be worth
the money.***>>
Casey has had lots of anxiety problems since our move. Bedtime was
especially difficult. She likes having a fan on in her room for the
white noise. (I'm still in there with her till she falls asleep.) She
also has a hot water bottle and many times sucks on a homeopathic
remedy called Moon Drops. They seem to relax her enough to allow
sleep to come. You can find them at www.historicalremedies.com.
Life is good.
~Mary
Tia Leschke
>I couldn't figure out why someone thought it was me who had the child with
>I am getting frustrated and angry, yet I know he is very miserable and wants
>to sleep. I really need some kind words in his defense, I don't want to be
>mean I want to be understanding and help him through this.
>I think the anxiety thing started when I broke my arm in late July, it has
>been a very long road to healing, not yet finished, and it seems as though
>he is
>worried about me because he can see that I can be hurt.
>Sorry for rambling,
>TIA
>Nancy huddling in the cold in BC,waving to Dawn
the sleep problem until I re-read this post.
Tia, with only the first letter capitalized %^ )
joylyn
I'm thinking massage, using calming oil (I had a great one when Janene
was little and she wouldn't sleep, which was basically every night. It
had lots of essential oils, and was very calming for both of us.) A
very strict bedtime ritual, with a calming bath, reading, massage, and a
relaxation excersize. That might work?
Joylyn
Deborah Lewis wrote:
was little and she wouldn't sleep, which was basically every night. It
had lots of essential oils, and was very calming for both of us.) A
very strict bedtime ritual, with a calming bath, reading, massage, and a
relaxation excersize. That might work?
Joylyn
Deborah Lewis wrote:
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> ***Sleeping has always been hard for him unless I am right there with
> him.***
>
> I think it's really normal for kids that age to have anxiety about being
> alone. It doesn't last forever.
>
> Dylan didn't want to sleep alone when he was eight either. We moved
> into this house when he was seven. The bedroom is a small, open loft
> upstairs and he was still regularly sleeping with us at the time. He
> couldn't go to bed without one of us. He thought big prehistoric birds
> would come out of the walls and peck him.
> That idea stirred in him, I think, because that summer we had a Starling
> wiggle through the vent and nest in our attic. We could hear her and her
> chicks peeping and scrambling around.
>
> I think he was ten before he was really comfortable with the idea of
> being asleep upstairs without someone else up there.
>
> ***I know he is very miserable and wants to sleep. ***
>
> We got one of those little kid tents, just big enough for a mat and
> little nest of blankets and put it in the living room in the evening.
> When he was feeling sleepy he would go in there and it was cozy and he
> could watch TV until he fell asleep. We'd wake him when we went up to
> bed. Sometimes he'd just sleep on the sofa until we all went upstairs,
> but he did like having the little tent, and I think it helped him get
> used to being alone without really being alone. And those little tents
> pop up or down so fast it doesn't have to be up in the daytime if it's in
> the way.
>
> He can sleep anywhere these days. He has his own bed upstairs and can be
> up there, and even in the little rooms under the eves by himself, without
> being afraid.
>
> ***I don't want to be mean I want to be understanding and help him
> through this.***
>
> We know that! <g> And he doesn't want to be afraid, or have you
> frustrated with him. He really can't help it. Finding a place where he
> feels safe and can fall asleep will make you both feel better.
>
> How is your arm these days? Are you still eating plenty of medicinal
> chocolate?<g>
>
> Deb L, in Montana where it's six degrees and snowing! Finally, we get to
> go sledding!!!
>
>
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joylyn
LOWRIEK@... wrote:
Some moms get up early before kids to have an hour alone.
Joylyn
>I let that go long ago....
>
> Thanks Sandra, he was sleeping on the couch when I was posting. I think I
> just have to let go of my attachment to him going to bed so I can have
> an hour
> alone.
Some moms get up early before kids to have an hour alone.
Joylyn
> I am a parent, perhaps I just have to work harder ot embrace that 24hrs a[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> day!?
> Your post was very comforting.
> Nancy, breathing in BC
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> To unsubscribe from this send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
> http://www.unschooling.com
>
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> <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/22/03 8:14:49 PM, joylyn@... writes:
<< Some moms get up early before kids to have an hour alone.
Since we moved to a bigger house and our kids are older and stay up until the
wee (or growing larger) hours of the morning, I get up early and have HOURS
alone.
It does help that I've never been much of an eight-hours-of-sleep kind of
person, and six will usually do me. Last night I was in the bed for nine and a
half hours, not always asleep, but it was great. And being up before six, I
can expect three to seven hours of quiet. (My husband's home, so that's the
three, and Kirby and Marty will probably not get up until noon.)
I know with little kids it's different. When someone comes here and says
"Help! I have three kids under six, and...." my first thought is how impossible
that must be, and how truly overwhelming, and then I remember Kirby was five
and a half when Holly was born, and think Hey! I was overwhelmed sometimes too!
It gets easier. I will have three teenagers at once, but when Holly turns
13 Kirby will be 18, and that's not a difficult age range, for unschoolers.
People warned me "oooh, you'll have three teens, watch out, it will be horrible"
but so far, with Holly 12 and Kirby 17, it hasn't been horrible in any way
whatsoever.
Sandra
<< Some moms get up early before kids to have an hour alone.
>>AHA!
Since we moved to a bigger house and our kids are older and stay up until the
wee (or growing larger) hours of the morning, I get up early and have HOURS
alone.
It does help that I've never been much of an eight-hours-of-sleep kind of
person, and six will usually do me. Last night I was in the bed for nine and a
half hours, not always asleep, but it was great. And being up before six, I
can expect three to seven hours of quiet. (My husband's home, so that's the
three, and Kirby and Marty will probably not get up until noon.)
I know with little kids it's different. When someone comes here and says
"Help! I have three kids under six, and...." my first thought is how impossible
that must be, and how truly overwhelming, and then I remember Kirby was five
and a half when Holly was born, and think Hey! I was overwhelmed sometimes too!
It gets easier. I will have three teenagers at once, but when Holly turns
13 Kirby will be 18, and that's not a difficult age range, for unschoolers.
People warned me "oooh, you'll have three teens, watch out, it will be horrible"
but so far, with Holly 12 and Kirby 17, it hasn't been horrible in any way
whatsoever.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/22/2003 1:53:33 AM Central Standard Time,
LOWRIEK@... writes:
He is at a very common age for fears and fear of the dark. I have a 10 yo
who still sleeps with us after going in and out of our room over the years. We
sleep in any and all configurations in our house, but the most common one is
dh and I in the bed, son on the floor on a mat on my side of the bed. He
frequently falls asleep with his fingers interlocked with mine.
He is not ashamed of this. He doesn't care if anyone knows. Several of his
friends sleep with their parents or their siblings.
My older sons always slept together--my youngest only has us to sleep with,
and so he does. No doubt we will be very happy when he moves out of our room,
but until then, it's what he needs.
It's like reading. Some day he'll get it. Some day he'll want to be in his
own room every night. Until then, make space for him in your room for when he
needs it.
And that startling awake thing...that happened to me last year for about 3
months and it is HORRIBLE. It's so frustrating to fall off into the deep and
then be wrenched back to consciousness. I never figured out how to stop it, and
it eventually went away. I did ask my dh and son to be considerate of what
was happening and try not to disturb me if they could. I think it may have had
something to do with anxiety, but I can't recall anything specific I was
worried about.
Good luck,
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
LOWRIEK@... writes:
> We have been trying to get to a place where he makes the decision about~~~
> when
> to go to bed, but he is so scared to go by himself that he will stay up with
>
> me until all hours, then get up early the next day and make the day awful
> for
> all the family.
> Lately, he will go to bed, fall asleep immediately, then 10 mins later jolt
> awake and call for me, crying that he can't sleep. I will tell him it's ok,
> he
> goes back to sleep, then again, 10mins later he is awake again. He tells me
> he
> hates this. He has thoughts of robbers, the house burning down, something
> happening to me or his dad, lots of anxieties.
>
He is at a very common age for fears and fear of the dark. I have a 10 yo
who still sleeps with us after going in and out of our room over the years. We
sleep in any and all configurations in our house, but the most common one is
dh and I in the bed, son on the floor on a mat on my side of the bed. He
frequently falls asleep with his fingers interlocked with mine.
He is not ashamed of this. He doesn't care if anyone knows. Several of his
friends sleep with their parents or their siblings.
My older sons always slept together--my youngest only has us to sleep with,
and so he does. No doubt we will be very happy when he moves out of our room,
but until then, it's what he needs.
It's like reading. Some day he'll get it. Some day he'll want to be in his
own room every night. Until then, make space for him in your room for when he
needs it.
And that startling awake thing...that happened to me last year for about 3
months and it is HORRIBLE. It's so frustrating to fall off into the deep and
then be wrenched back to consciousness. I never figured out how to stop it, and
it eventually went away. I did ask my dh and son to be considerate of what
was happening and try not to disturb me if they could. I think it may have had
something to do with anxiety, but I can't recall anything specific I was
worried about.
Good luck,
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 23/11/2003 06:19:34 Pacific Standard Time,
tuckervill2@... writes:
there until he no longer needs it for sure. I know it will come when he is
ready, everything else has. Just get frustrated sometimes, and worried about the
anxiety thing. It has helped to read posts from other people with similar
experiences.
He does not feel the least bit self concious about sleeping in our room, and
both him and our 2yr old call it "our bedroom". It is comforting to know
where they are, as I also have some anxiety about fires and finding children. I
still run the monitor on the rare nights that I get both kids sleeping in the
bed and can sneak down to use the computer, like tonight!!!!!!
Thanks again
Nancy in bC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
tuckervill2@... writes:
> Some day he'll get it. Some day he'll want to be in hisThanks for your post, my ds has always slept in our room, and we have room
> own room every night. Until then, make space for him in your room for when
> he
> needs it.
>
there until he no longer needs it for sure. I know it will come when he is
ready, everything else has. Just get frustrated sometimes, and worried about the
anxiety thing. It has helped to read posts from other people with similar
experiences.
He does not feel the least bit self concious about sleeping in our room, and
both him and our 2yr old call it "our bedroom". It is comforting to know
where they are, as I also have some anxiety about fires and finding children. I
still run the monitor on the rare nights that I get both kids sleeping in the
bed and can sneak down to use the computer, like tonight!!!!!!
Thanks again
Nancy in bC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]