Syndi
[email protected]
Syndi-
I certainly feel your pain. If you were near by I'd want to give you a hug,
but since I can't, mentally give yourself one.
One thing I've noticed, not just with unschoolers but with homeschoolers as
well, when we are new to this environment, quite a few of us find out about
boundaries that have never been set with our families. This uncle should never
have the feeling that he can approach a subject like this with your children.
I welcome any inquiries my family has, as long as they ask ME, in a respectful
way. Casual questions they would ask my chidren anyway, like how's school
going, etc., I don't address because that is "normal" and respectful. My
grandparents (my children's great-grandparents) started out from day one encouraging
me and my son in our homeschooling quest. Unfortunately, my grandmother died
before I started unschooling, but their tone set the tone for the whole
family. Maybe there is one person in the family this uncle respects that can give
you encouragement and support when he is around, and maybe you can set some
boundaries and let him know it is NOT alright to address such an issue with your
children. That is a passive aggressive way of trying to undermine your
children's confidence in decisions you make regarding them, and really, in my
opinion, should not be tolerated. I am constantly suprised at the gall family
members have in their approaching the subject of homeschooling and unschooling.
While I understand the concept that was recently addressed, I think by Sandra,
about how these family members are scared because they don't know what to
expect, have you gone out and joined some cult, etc., the information is readily
available on the internet, the library, and whatever happened to lovingly
questioning with the pretense of supporting and encouraging your adult child in
whatever they want to pursue? We aren't talking about radical religion or abuse.
Syndi, you are doing what you as the parent have decided is the best choice
for your children. You have said how wonderful you already feel. Trust your
feelings. The only times I've made mistakes I've regretted is when I did not
trust my own gut feelings about my children. Only you in your heart know
whether this is the right decision for you and your children. From what you've
indicated, you are following your heart. How blessed your children are! Does
uncle have any children? It makes me wonder what kind of parent he is or might
be. My sister thinks homeschooling is something I've "done" to my son, yet
she and her husband both work and have shipped their kids off to day care and
school since day one. Bullies beat my nephew up on an almost daily basis, and
she does nothing. And I'm going to let HER opinion of
homeschooling/unschooling influence ME? I don't think so. I know this is long, and I'm sorry. To
sum it up, be at peace with yourself and your decisions, and establish some
boundaries. If family members want to discuss in a respectful way, by all means,
educate them. If not, they need to shut up. Hang in there, we are all here
with you.
Carol
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I certainly feel your pain. If you were near by I'd want to give you a hug,
but since I can't, mentally give yourself one.
One thing I've noticed, not just with unschoolers but with homeschoolers as
well, when we are new to this environment, quite a few of us find out about
boundaries that have never been set with our families. This uncle should never
have the feeling that he can approach a subject like this with your children.
I welcome any inquiries my family has, as long as they ask ME, in a respectful
way. Casual questions they would ask my chidren anyway, like how's school
going, etc., I don't address because that is "normal" and respectful. My
grandparents (my children's great-grandparents) started out from day one encouraging
me and my son in our homeschooling quest. Unfortunately, my grandmother died
before I started unschooling, but their tone set the tone for the whole
family. Maybe there is one person in the family this uncle respects that can give
you encouragement and support when he is around, and maybe you can set some
boundaries and let him know it is NOT alright to address such an issue with your
children. That is a passive aggressive way of trying to undermine your
children's confidence in decisions you make regarding them, and really, in my
opinion, should not be tolerated. I am constantly suprised at the gall family
members have in their approaching the subject of homeschooling and unschooling.
While I understand the concept that was recently addressed, I think by Sandra,
about how these family members are scared because they don't know what to
expect, have you gone out and joined some cult, etc., the information is readily
available on the internet, the library, and whatever happened to lovingly
questioning with the pretense of supporting and encouraging your adult child in
whatever they want to pursue? We aren't talking about radical religion or abuse.
Syndi, you are doing what you as the parent have decided is the best choice
for your children. You have said how wonderful you already feel. Trust your
feelings. The only times I've made mistakes I've regretted is when I did not
trust my own gut feelings about my children. Only you in your heart know
whether this is the right decision for you and your children. From what you've
indicated, you are following your heart. How blessed your children are! Does
uncle have any children? It makes me wonder what kind of parent he is or might
be. My sister thinks homeschooling is something I've "done" to my son, yet
she and her husband both work and have shipped their kids off to day care and
school since day one. Bullies beat my nephew up on an almost daily basis, and
she does nothing. And I'm going to let HER opinion of
homeschooling/unschooling influence ME? I don't think so. I know this is long, and I'm sorry. To
sum it up, be at peace with yourself and your decisions, and establish some
boundaries. If family members want to discuss in a respectful way, by all means,
educate them. If not, they need to shut up. Hang in there, we are all here
with you.
Carol
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]