kid rant but new slant
The White's
Okay, I need to put a new slant on the kid rant thread. I agree that you
need to talk to a child who is at your house a lot about rules of the house
& explain to them how you expect them to behave.
My problem is my husband's nieces. We go on vacation with his family every
year for at least a week. Usually my in-laws pick the nieces up & bring
them for the whole week although their Dad (my husband's brother) usually
only comes for a day or so.
The problem is that these girls, especially the oldest one, are very sneaky,
dishonest and manipulative. The oldest's favorite thing in the world is
getting someone else in trouble or making someone else cry. She has NEVER
been disciplined at all, there has NEVER been any consistancy in her life.
The few times Grandma and Grandpa came close to providing it they backed off
because "poor little thing has it so hard since the parents are divorced and
Mom is on Prozac".
My son is the same age (7) as they are (8 and 7). He has wised up
considerably and spends way too much time trying to "change" them. I don't
worry too much about him because he doesn't like to be around them anymore.
BUT, my daughter (3)loves to go off into a room alone with them, especially
the older one. She picks up way too much bad stuff, just in a week. It
just makes me very nervous. The older one acts inappropriately also, doing
things like talking about genitalia and sex.
My husband and I tell our kids in front of the girls & in front of
Grandma/Grandpa and their Dad that the girls are not our kids, we can't
control their behavior, but we can control our own kids' behavior & they
will not act that way. We also make a point to do lots of just our family
stuff away from the others, but we can't do too much of that as it is a
large family vacation.
Since we are not in my home, I don't feel like I can make the house rules.
I can only make the rules for my children & not allow them to play with the
others if the rules are not followed. Sometimes this is so-so effective
since the nieces have learned that we will not include them or play with
them if they act ugly. I told the older one last year when she began crying
because my son would not play with her that I was not surprised and she
shouldn't be either. I asked her if she treated her friends at school the
way she treats my children. When she said no I asked her did she understand
now why my son didn't like her? Would her friends at school like her if she
treated them the same? I think she got it.
Any suggestions? Vacation time is quickly approaching. Unfortunately I am
always the only Mother there, if you don't count Grandma. I welcome any
ideas to keep my children safe and happy and to keep my relationship with my
in-laws in tact (it's a good one). They have a very blind-side with these
girls & I know talking to them won't help. As the only Mom there I'm
expected to do a lot for the nieces that I would not elect to do otherwise.
When I am alone with them, away from the rest of the family, they do
understand what my rules are and they follow them pretty well. It's when we
are all together that the problems start happening because the nieces know
they can get away with it. HELP!
Thanks!
Cindy
need to talk to a child who is at your house a lot about rules of the house
& explain to them how you expect them to behave.
My problem is my husband's nieces. We go on vacation with his family every
year for at least a week. Usually my in-laws pick the nieces up & bring
them for the whole week although their Dad (my husband's brother) usually
only comes for a day or so.
The problem is that these girls, especially the oldest one, are very sneaky,
dishonest and manipulative. The oldest's favorite thing in the world is
getting someone else in trouble or making someone else cry. She has NEVER
been disciplined at all, there has NEVER been any consistancy in her life.
The few times Grandma and Grandpa came close to providing it they backed off
because "poor little thing has it so hard since the parents are divorced and
Mom is on Prozac".
My son is the same age (7) as they are (8 and 7). He has wised up
considerably and spends way too much time trying to "change" them. I don't
worry too much about him because he doesn't like to be around them anymore.
BUT, my daughter (3)loves to go off into a room alone with them, especially
the older one. She picks up way too much bad stuff, just in a week. It
just makes me very nervous. The older one acts inappropriately also, doing
things like talking about genitalia and sex.
My husband and I tell our kids in front of the girls & in front of
Grandma/Grandpa and their Dad that the girls are not our kids, we can't
control their behavior, but we can control our own kids' behavior & they
will not act that way. We also make a point to do lots of just our family
stuff away from the others, but we can't do too much of that as it is a
large family vacation.
Since we are not in my home, I don't feel like I can make the house rules.
I can only make the rules for my children & not allow them to play with the
others if the rules are not followed. Sometimes this is so-so effective
since the nieces have learned that we will not include them or play with
them if they act ugly. I told the older one last year when she began crying
because my son would not play with her that I was not surprised and she
shouldn't be either. I asked her if she treated her friends at school the
way she treats my children. When she said no I asked her did she understand
now why my son didn't like her? Would her friends at school like her if she
treated them the same? I think she got it.
Any suggestions? Vacation time is quickly approaching. Unfortunately I am
always the only Mother there, if you don't count Grandma. I welcome any
ideas to keep my children safe and happy and to keep my relationship with my
in-laws in tact (it's a good one). They have a very blind-side with these
girls & I know talking to them won't help. As the only Mom there I'm
expected to do a lot for the nieces that I would not elect to do otherwise.
When I am alone with them, away from the rest of the family, they do
understand what my rules are and they follow them pretty well. It's when we
are all together that the problems start happening because the nieces know
they can get away with it. HELP!
Thanks!
Cindy